You play original Metroid and Super Metroid

>you play original Metroid and Super Metroid
>you fall into hibernation for 20 years
>you wake up and see this

How do you react?

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I haven't wanked in 20 years, I'm in for a fun ol time

"Wow they covered her up more?"

I think I'd be more mad that after 20 years, there was only 8 more Metroid games for me to play.

>20 years

"grown men play this competitively?"

read the OP retard

this
it's way more than what she had on under there before

Probably try to catch up on what I missed during 20 years
Then jack off
A lot.

>not hiring a whore to suck your dick while you hibernate

ya ok buddy, im the retard

>paying a whore to suck you off when you can't feel it

Yes you are.

ya ok whatever. I'LL be getting that blowjob while you fags fucking sleep or whatever you do during hibernation

To be honest, the only really bad thing about modern Samus is her heels. They're a fucking eyesore and look incredibly out of place.

Her bubble butt, while sexy, is also a bit out of place, although a distant second to those rubbish heels.

i go on Sup Forums and ask for lewds

They never showed her backside in the old games, though.

What does Samus' butt smell like?

Farts

Pork.

>Pork
>not Chicken

shit and piss

Chicken does not have a high level of body fat.

You're not getting the joke.

I do, I'm just tired of the old bird gene jokes.

>samus isn't allowed to be the protagonist unless she's being sexualized!

I realize that Prime was the best Metroid game because you never see her in a stupid skimpy outfit. Not even Super has that privilege.

Samus is a girl?

nice meme

youtube.com/watch?v=CGK1F8Dq7cg
this would trigger me more, and it did.

Does that look like a man to you?

plays metroid II

Prime would be way worse of a shock

DEM BIG ASS
>fap to death

>samus isn't allowed to be sexualized!

>m-muh 2d

>They censored Samus? Where is her bikini? Fucking SJWs in my vidya!

I've seen men like that.

Indifference? I mean I'd already seen this.

Just can't admit that you dun goofed, huh?

You mean much more of a wonderful surprise.

>Samus
>big ass

Maybe if you compare to your folders of 12 year old boys.

I would wonder when she got a blue bodysuit instead of a purple leotard.

Why is her hand green?

>create perfect Zero Suit in Zero Mission
>ruin it by adding another shade of blue
>ruin it by adding random patterns
>ruin it by adding shitty heels
>ruin it by adding Tron lights

Because the pistol was added with the Zero Suit.

Originally she had this on her arm even without her armor on.

It's a topaz hook because space pirates 'n' stuff

WHAT?
METROID IS A WOMAN???

blame Sakurai
also don't forget muh beauty mark

>ruin it by adding random patterns
You mean you're butt hurt because they removed the sexist thong pattern that was present in Zero Mission?

THIS SHOCKING AND REVELATORY NEWS IS ENOUGH TO MAKE A GROWN MAN BECOME A PORN STAR

Read it as how do you erect?
That's how I react.

What if Halo was a girl?

Start asking why Link's hair isn't brown anymore.

>This is a video game?
>GRAPHICS LOOK LIKE THIS NOW?!
If I was out for 20 years I've missed some really important shit, so ignoring the fact that video games wouldn't be priority number one at that moment anything I touch will be awesome.

>removed the sexist thong pattern

You mean the same stitching pattern that is used in real life women's protective clothing?

With the exception that those clothes don't ride up a woman's ass.

Samus's zero suit does. And with the thong pattern, it makes it look just as if she was wearing a thong.

BTW, that stitching pattern is sexist, too. There's absolutely no reason to shape it like a thong.

Ass doesn't smell like shit or piss, unless she isn't clean. It also doesn't smell like farts unless she just farted

If you think leather motorcycle pants do not ride up into the ass you have never seen anyone wear them,

And that stitching has been around for longer than thong underwear has been commonly worn. It allows for the leather to be pulled tight over the top of the hips instead of across the ass, making it less likely to get dragged off in an accident.

You assuming that the pattern is just for looks is the only thing sexist here.

So much bullshit in one post. Show me a pic with motorcycle pants which rides up a woman's butt the same way the zero suit rides up Samus's fat ass.

Dude. 20 years!? Everything will be alien as fuck.

>Smart Phones are literal computers
>Internet
>Videogames
>Movies

I think that person might have a heart attack or something from the sheer curiosity and excitement.

Show me a pair of overalls that perfectly contours around a man's ass, gut, and legs like they do Mario's.

I want to bury my face in Marios ass

Samus's ass is actually fatter than Mario's.

Isn't that a little weird?

The only thing weird about Samus's ass is that a Swedish autist makes threads about it every single day for the last ten years.

metroid is a grill?

Her body is so fucking ridicolous here.

I would make porn with Samus every day if she were real.

inb4 'cuck porn'

>20 years worth of semen made a glopping noise

Would you verbally humiliate her for having a fat ass?

>implying i'd be able to speak with a mouthful of said ass

Imagine your teeth sinking into that soft booty flab.