And this is user's room! He really loves video games!

>And this is user's room! He really loves video games!

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>hey, why go you have a bunch of tissues on the floor, are you sick?

y..yes

MOM CLOSE THE DOOR I'M MASTURBATING

MOM CLOSE THE DOOR IM NUDE

>Get that crap outta here!

>they don't knock first

>not catching your mom masterbating instead

i don't even like videogames mom

N-nyaah! claws the door, I'm nyot decent!

>room

sure is underage in here.

...

MOOOM GET OUT REEEEEE!!!!

>jerking off
>door is locked of course
>hear something
>look at the door
>the handle is jiggling
>it stops
>wew
>*BANG*BANG*BANG*
>what are you doing in there? why is the door locked? you better not be masturabating

>Sup Forums has his own house
ok buddy

i did this once, she was naked and i turned 360 very fast and just walked away.

she caught me masturbating too so we cool

i've masturbated with my door wide open

just gotta keep one eye on the doorway and one on the porn

Screw you mom, I'm going to go to the internet cafe.

I own my house? What's the issue?

> on the computer when I'm not allowed to
> mfw hearing my mum's car pull up in the drive way

YOU JUST MADE ME LOSE MY FUCKING KILLSTREAK MOM. I FUCKING HATE YOU, I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN!!!

What the fuck is that

i caught my sister once

I've masturbated in my living room recliner while my dad was cooking food like 12 feet away in the kitchen.

Go on

Don't stop masturbating if they do this, make the moment more embarassing for them
They'll remember to knock next time

thanks mr skeltal

My little brother. Got a problem? Cause I'd dunk on your tiny ass.

YOU'RE HUGE! THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUGE GUTS!

...

>"those fucking whores, i swear to god those bitches i will fuck them and kill them all"
>"oh hey mom"

> doing your big boy poo and mummy comes in to wipe your botbot and your willy gets a little hard and she gives it a kiss and tells you how proud she is of her boy

...

source

>when you spent all your lunch money at the internet cafe

Fuck off

>looking at porn on the computer
>hear the door behind me open even though I live on my own
>muscle memory kicks in

>tfw sister caught me once and stared for a bit

She never knocks and just barges in. I don't mind

Holy fuck

>all those Ramune bottles
There's being a weeb and then there's being a slob

That run is terrifying

...

Never skip entire fucking body day.

Run?

He's shuffling. Shuffling this mortal coil

>you're tall!
>you should play basketball

every time. shame he'll most likely be dead before he turns 30.

OP could be referencing past experiences. But that's fine, I'm sure you were foaming from the mouth waiting to belittle these "children" for being on our sacred message board. Thanks for keeping Sup Forums kid-free, my man!

Imagine that guy running towards you in a dark alley

>at sisters friends house
>she falls asleep
>her friend has a bulldog
>bulldog goes for my cock
>I let it
>sister quietly wakes up and walks into room
>caught me with her friends bulldog

we haven't talked since

...

>caught masturbating by granparents

There is no greater shame

That's hot

I'd like to see them tell that to Tanya Angus.

Don't look her up. It's not even gross it's just depressing.

>having your door behind you

It's like you want to raped by the spooky things in the dark

why would he be dead?

I really don't give a shit but fuck that faggot who thought it would be funny to take a picture of that game. There's a pretty good chance he has some kind of physical health issue and he's just trying to spend some time there with his friends and play a game he enjoys. Let the guy be.

>could be

it's never a good thing to assume things user, it'll get you nowhere in life.

...

Seriously, what other sport could he play?

American football or rugby? He'd literally be broken in half.
Soccer? He's too slow. Might be a good goalie but I don't know if he could make many diving saves before breaking something.
Baseball? Too slow again and probably not enough strength to hit well.

GET OUT
GET THE FUCK OUT
CANT YOU SEE IM JERKING OFF IN HERE DIPSHIT

PUT THE COFFEE ON THE FUCKING DESK

I've masturbated while my mom was asleep next to me

volleyball

Lanklets, when will they learn?

>mom walks in before I can get my boner back into my pants
>Not even sure if she saw it or not

I wanted to fucking die.

heeeh. you're funny.

i always just wonder why they think tall people need to play sports in general.

because people that tall usually have a high mortality rate for being abnormal. organs don't last as long.

That's retarded

I'm just listening to music!
youtube.com/watch?v=t1SRFsoCiig

> Playing Amnesia
> mum comes up from behind and scares me

There's no time frame given for this hypothetical situation. It's assumptions all around, here.

youtube.com/watch?v=ml9-nJmOw4s

3:20 in the morning wtf are you doing & who are you

does that mean manlets live longer?

>jerking off
>door is locked
>hear nothing
>door swings open

My hot aunt used to take sleeping pills and id grope her ass and sniff it in her sleep and masturbate. To this day she doesnt know.. I was a fucking horny weirdo when i was 11

...

>The window is now behind you

DONT LET THE FAIRY IN

my sister did this to me once and I ended up jumping up really fast and literally headbutting her

Nigger, no one cares about volleyball.

>those door knocks
Holy shit

>only her ass

> Masturbating at home alone
> Suddenly hear grandma 'anyone homeing' in our hall
> Never heard her open the front door
> God damn ninja granny

i don't know if it works like that, but it's safe to say that they would live longer than someone over 6'5

Good point.

At the middle school and high school level, just being taller or heavier than the average kid is a huge positive factor. It isn't until you get into college and pro sports where just being physically gifted alone isn't enough.

>To this day she doesnt know
that's what she wants you to think

>mom and dad walk in with guests
>"And this is user's room, he really like video games."
>they catch me singing Der Freischütz with a swastika on the computer screen, also with two flags hanging from the wall, while I'm dressed in an SS uniform

>hot aunt

Hot aunts are the best. Why the fuck couldn't I get one

Literally the worst sport ever

By the way, he's 7 foot 6 inches in that video. He's also only 15 years old.

> at home
> hear mum calling me downstairs
> go down to see her
> half way down the stairs remember that she's away on holiday since last week

is this WIT gaming in aurora

>To this day she doesnt know
Oh user....

Underrated.

>tfw all your relatives are ugly as sin or male

I used to share a flat with two girls and occasionally would game in the nude with door closed. One time one of them barged in and started watching me game while I sat there with just a blanket. It was weird because I don't think she realised I was naked when she sat down and once she realised it was too awkward to say anything.

That's not ultimate frisbee

This must feel like shit. Knowing the only reason you were good was because you were a freak when you were younger. But your genetic messed up body had no ability to add muscle so as soon as everyone else grew up enough your height means nothing and you just get out fucking skilled.
Niggers in their prime can jump higher than any oversized person out there.

>Had a hot aunt with a HOT AS FUCK cousin.
>When we were children my cousin had a crush on me, even into her teenage years.
>Only get to see her like once every 6-7 years since my Mother and Aunt loathed each other.

Not saying I would of pounded that hot cousin bait if I had the chance, but I would have pounded that hot cousin bait if I had the chance.

>went to university near home so just stayed at home with my mom
>home was big enough and designed so that we were on opposite sides of the house
>take girl (she was mixed Jamaican - Canadian) home to fuck
>doing the business with the door closed
>see the light in the hallway outside my room turn on
>uh-oh
>*bang*bang*
>who's in there? it better not be that black girl

My mom, the supreme cock blocker. I had to resort to fucking on campus or in my car. You know how hard it is to fuck inside a Mustang?

Dumb animeposters

>it better not be that black girl
based mom saving her son from a life of degeneracy

she doesn't want shitskin grandkids