How do I get git gud?

How do I get git gud?

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what parts are you having problems with, user?

maximum production and everything will go smoothly
also do not trust the AI, they will fuck you the first chance they get

Not him, but I have trouble playing on king difficulty.

Haha disregard that, I suck cocks

Make the AI your friend. You don't want them as your enemy, especially not on Deity.

you're not me, fuck you
the AI are assholes and will stab you in the back as soon as it is profitable to them

I am a better version of you with better advice.

The AI doesn't stab you in the back unless you fuck with them. Granted, "existing" is considered Fucking Them for some but usually you can manage unless you expand like a retard.

Proper management of tiles in your cities, maximizing science via growth, building the right wonders/stealing them from AIs that built them, take the correct tech path. You only get good at war by going to war and practicing

If you're talking about single player, abuse the AIs as much as possible.

If you specify what exactly you're having problems with then we can start somewhere and perhaps you'll have an easier time with the game and maybe even ____have__fun_____

>mind my own business, building wonders and shit
>my neighbours saw fit to march an army at my doorstep, we were even on good terms
>too busy minding my economy to make a better army
>DECLARE WAR
>drop everything to defend my borders
>entire world hates me now for reclaiming my cities I founded
fuck the AI

It's literally impossible to be bad at Civ 5 because the game is braindead easy.

Don't put your city where they want yours. No AI is marching halfway across the world unless you pissed them off bad.

t. Multiple Deity victories with low tier civs.

1. Dont do any diplomacy with anyone
2. Rush science structures
3. Get the Forbidden palace
4. Win by vote

GG, works on all difficulties

like you wouldn't march your army to their doorstep and pretend to be friends right before declaring war

What I never understand is ever having more than three cities. It just never works out, that or I can't figure out how to make that many effective.

>Get no money form trading
>Can't buy science buildings
>Won't make it to the FB in time
>Wiped off the map by the Renaissance because you only focused on the upper tech tree

GG

Patronage = luxary resources = happiness. You will struggle to lose. There is no other Civ game with such a broken mechanic.

Go for currency first.

War everyone you encounter on every first encounter until they understand you're not to be pushed around.

>It just never works out
It can, you just really good land to pull it off

Make a good religion and you can have all the cities in the world. Happiness stops being an issue altogether by the time you hit ideologies, which suits it for conquest and imperialism.

And let them steal all the local resources? I might as well forfeit my empire and spread my buttcheeks

Finished on Deity with that method. You dont need trade to make money because you wont have any upkeep for soldiers, AI wont declare war on your if you dont give them any diplomatic options at all.

Sorry you're bad at the game :^)

Get as many luxuries as you can. Happiness is the greatest resource.

Download the community mod and/or NQ mod.

Do not trust anyone.
Except the Russian bimbo, she's hot.

Three is too few. Start with 4-5 (more if you're wide, which, on any difficulty above 6-7, you are not) and then puppet/conquer.

>ALWAYS micromanage tiles
>Population = science; therefore food > everything, unless you need a production city
>Never neglect your army, not at any point in the game
>ALWAYS micromanage tiles
>Rationalism is busted
>If you're playing at 7-8, forget about wonders unless you beeline for specific ones and really know what you're doing
>Ranged units > melee units

They'll be your resources eventually. You're just letting them build infrastructure and wonders in your future cities.

You cheated. What was it, islands only? In any normal Deity game, if you don't have soldiers you're gone by turn 90, and literally everyone ITT can attest to that.

I legitimately don't understand how people find this game so hard. You literally just build cities and kill other civilizations. If you play peacefully it's even easier. Can't even remember the last time I lost a game...

Focus on science, build up an army since there's literal autists who will declare you war for no reason.

It was continental with 12 factions, just because you dont know how to play Civ doesnt mean everyone else is as retarded as you.

Has anyone ever played as a cuck in this game

>first nation I come across with a female leader (Dido)
>join forces with her
>give her free shit whenever I can spare it
>declare war on all her enemies
>give her the cities I take
>she wins a diplomatic victory
>YOU LOSE

It was fun

Boy I sure do love random crashes and filthy filthy overpowered civs like the Songhai and China

I'd rather have the resources first before they do anything useful with them

Stop embarrassing yourself, kid. I assume you have proof to back up this absolutely ludicrous statement?

>play multiplayer
>get the shittiest start ever, Alaska on the earth replica map with the mountains closing the way to the rest of America
it was hilariously terrible

>Its IMPOSSIBLE that anyone can beat deity because I suck!
Grow up. You're the one throwing a bitchfit because someone else can play better than you. Here is your last (you) kiddo.

>All these Prince-tier shitters ITT

>playing nice game of civ 5
>playing as a modded North Korea
>world accepts Freedom
>not me
>other civilizations start getting salty
>out of nowhere 7 on 1 war.

I can top that for sillies.

>Turn off Start Bias
>Venice in the middle of the fucking desert
>mfw

>absolutely ludicrous statement?
That people can beat Deity? Its really not that hard.

>I don't see what's so hard about the game, all you do is build every wonder and win?

Dido is a bitch, really. I used to like her too.

>Shitting on Desert starts
>Shitting on Venice with Petra

oh shit nigga what are you doing

That's what you get for being a filthy commie.

The AI gets some Mario Kart level speed boosts in Science I swear.

>Big pop cities
>8 Academies
>No research agreements because I murdered most everyone else and all that remain hate each other.
>All the free Tech wonders
>AI magically keeping pace on Science

King and above is horseshit. But everything below is too easy to lose.

>Not paying attention to ideology choices
>Not realising that early adopter tenets are not worth relationship drop and happiness tank
>Alternatively, not being sufficiently ahead for it not to matter
You brought it on yourself. These wars were in no way "out of nowhere"

>I will just build cities fast to cover all the resources! If I take all the resources, it means the AI won't use them ;^)

>Desert Folklore
>Petra
Boo hoo you didn't get to use your shitty galley unique and instead got to use the best pantheon and the best wonder.

>He doesn't have enough tourism to force your ideologies down the throats of others

>Have one city by the North Pole
>They covet your lands!
>"It is time I told the world of your sins"

Actually user I was Byzantium in the middle of plains that game. It's just how I reacted seeing how fucking silly the game is without bias.

I was just telling a story there buddy. Did you have to take off your fedora to wipe the sweat after that one?

>Get a start with all flat land
>instantly re-roll

>Not realising that early adopter tenets are not worth relationship drop and happiness tank

Come on, grabbing the right policies can net you like +26 happiness. Fuck 'em, slow-ass motherfuckers shouldn't built 3 factories instead of gunning for muh Radio.

just play as wonderspam city state of korea. you cant lose as you will be 3 eras ahead technologically and your one city can be easily defended by 3 to 4 units.

Naa I just war solely. What else do you do as North Korea?

>Find a natural wonder right near my capital
>Restart

>3 salt
>Restart

>Isolated position
>Restart

>Tier-2 luxuries
Restart

Wish you could just turn all this shit off

Complete patronage as soon as you can, become the ally of every city state out there so they can give you culture, food, units and become buffer states so you don't get BTFO during a war.

...

>My epic funny story is in fact just me being shit at the game :(
>Oh I know, I will shout "fedora" and it will restore my internet cred
Sure, whatever

>tourism
>North Korea

If you can complete Patronage before reaching Rationalism then something is really fucking wrong with your science output.

>epic
>funny

Now you're just putting words in my mouth.

youtube.com/watch?v=PhmRMaIBaMk

Just watch that and you're all set.

Sure they can. Hence my other line, that you can totally go for it if your tourism and culture support it. If they do, you just got yourself free happiness and whoever picks a different one gets fucked. If you don't - you're fucked unless you're 3-4+ techs ahead.

Depends what civ you're playing, what city states are around and what victory you're going for.

You start by not asking here. Nobody can agree on a play style for Civ 5.

>That one game where you make Friends Forever with a CS right next to your capitol between you and all other Civs, bravely fighting several wars in their tiny plot of territory with a mix of your units and theirs, continually saving their city while it takes the brunt of all the other Civ's rage.

Literally every game.

I decide my ideology by turn 10 and everyone who doesn't like it can just fuck right off.

SCIENCE
SCIENCE
SCIENCE
BECOME UNSTOPPABLE

>play Civ V
>never finish any game because I just get bored by the late game
This always happens and I don't know why. Same thing happens on grand strats like Vicky 2 and CK 2

>There are people ITT who don't play with Random Map Type and Random Map Size

I'm new to the game. I helped that spanish slut who asked me for 300 gold and 3 turns later she denounced me
What is wrong with the AI

It's because the late game in Civ 5 is garbage and the early game is lacking in content.

they pretty much designed them to act like the saltiest human player ever
if you're winning at all they'll hate you
they don't act or pretend like an actual world leader would, they want to win the game
but that amounts to a shit load of "fuck the human player, denounce denounce denounce"

Try nominating someone convenient to your purposes, or just someone you don't want to go to war with, for World Congress. I've had that be the only green diplo note in a sea of red and still get no DoW

>J-just let them settle wherever they want so they don't get mad at you

You sound like a fucking cuck who lifts up his skirt for the most braindead AI in videogames

Is there anything more satisfying than rolling these guys out and destroying your enemy right before they start shitting out airplanes?

...

You sound like you have no idea what you're talking about. The AI is very complex, they can detect which victory condition you are going for depending on your build order and will try to stop you if they think you'll be a problem in the future.

>work with one civ for the entire game
>Get to modern stuff
>That civ starts throwing units by my settlements
>Declares war
>Nuke all his cities to dust

I always try to get the Great Library as soon as possible, if not try getting the National College and Oxford University ASAP. Patronage gets me covered with a lot of science output from my city state allies. I only try to get to the Free Thought policy of Rationalism, spamming trading posts across my empire.

I usually go for Science Victory but given all the benefits Patronage has I usually get to a cultural victory or a diplomatic victory before I get a chance to do science. I befriend the first militaristic city state I get to meet so I can get all the free and rare units in my empire so other civs can stay the fuck back and let me focus on building other shit instead of using production to build military units. I usually try to befriend cultural city states the most because they usually get me a boost on culture related quests other city states give me

>get a shitload of units from different city states
>can't keep them all because "supply penalty"
fuck you too, Firaxis

>tfw Ashurbanipal spams Siege Towers near your ally CS

science is the most overpowered yield in the unmodded game, it's directly linked to food (per 2 population->+1 science for library for example)

But food is generally easy to come by if you don't leave your city in production focus or something for too long.
Science gives you access to wonders, better buildings, but also yield bonuses earlier than other players. in some maps it's really usefull to be the first player that's able to travel oceans to settle new cities etc.

Faith can be totally ignored, but having a pantheon early on can give a nice boost to some early culture/production/... so building a shrine always pays for itself. Even in faith the best beliefs are the ones to do with production (building universties with faith for example) or +1% to 15% production for followers. Don't be upset if you're being overwhelmed by someone else's religion, unless you know they are going for a culture victory. (you can check their tourism growth over you by clicking on the tourism icon.)

World wonders are overrated, an early library into a national college is more valuable than a great library or statue of zeus. I can't stress enough how workshops are more powerful than most wonders if you build them fast enough.

the game is a lot of analysing the other players and looking over your options. So try to scout the map and look what the other players' civs are, their playstyle and where you think they'll settle. example: If you see someone is also playing a culture game like you, it might be a good idea to let your tourism/culture rest for a while and try conquering him. (you also win their great works if i'm not mistaken, but this could be a modded thing)

You don't need to conquer all of their cities to eliminate someone from the game, most of the time taking their capitol is enough to cripple them. especially for tourist civs.

The game isn't balanced at all, so you can use the overpowered ideologies and policies in your favor. rationalism is the best one.

Yes.
>Build army of Tanks, and one AA gun.
>Attack move and plunder every turn like a cheap asshole
>AI will never ever send air units because of a single AA gun.
Lotta good those 5 station aircraft did lmao

just do everything the game recommends you to do and build some soldiers to protect yourself and build all the cultural things you can and you will win

Now turn that difficulty up and watch your shit burn.

who /emperor/ here

>you did anything besides die

...

I love it when this kind of shit happens.

I've focused entire games on feeding cities to CS. It gets pretty out of hand.

>meet Yerevan for the first time, couple of turns later I find Byblos next to it
>don't get any gold
>wonder why
>Byblos is a puppet of Yerevan

I had one once where I had a CS up to four cities. Not only did every other CS want them bullied, but other civilizations came in to join the fray as well. I think at some point during their growth other civilizations start taking them as a major threat?

It gets even better when you don't allow cities to be destroyed, Always funny to see a CS with 10+ cities

I have just finished my first campaign,
should I use the community patch?

Also, what about this collection of mods?
forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=528034

Shit I had a game once where 2 CS were on the same island with a civilization. I allied both CS and went to war with the dude on the island. During the fight while I was taking his mainland the CS on the island managed to take all his cities. After that I had 2 CS on a small island with 3 cities each. They asked for a while if I would bully the other which I just kinda ignored. Eventually the CS went to war with each other. Mind you this was a late game battle with high city defense and strong units. The war went on for some 100+ turns until one of the CS remained on the island with a single city to their name. They then supplied me with the entirety of the island's gold.

>watching Attila AI stumble around betraying people and clocking -50 happiness before the renaissance comes around

Truly the greatest memer of our time

How do micromanage?

No idea how many times I've revived Attila from the dead and had his eternal gratitude.