Meanwhile At Umbrella HQ

Gentleman! I brought you all here to pitch your Ideas to make profits and to more effectively run this company. I.T. put up a good point in the last meeting about keeping our codes and passwords safe so I take pride in saying I've went ahead of all of you and placed an order for 40 attack dogs placed in verses areas of our compounds. That should keep those tech geeks happy. Idea? thoughts?

We should ban Pokemon Go from all phones with a mobile jammer or something. Kids were digging into the chemical waste to find a Gastly.

Fantastic. We also need to implement secure ways to open doors. What if we hid keys in books, behind clocks, and under fireplaces?
Who let this intern speak? If kids wish to mess around with chemical waste, they can. That's valuable data.

>Fantastic. We also need to implement secure ways to open doors. What if we hid keys in books, behind clocks, and under fireplaces?
I like it. I also have a brother in law whos a lock smith and one of the best I;m told by my sister. Ill get in contact with him but I heard he is finishing up doing the entire town of Silent Hill. With a locksmith like that and the deranged placement of keys, nobody will find anything so easily.

How the fuck do we keep getting outbreaks in our labs? Im fucking done with this company and their 4 digits secure system, for fucks sake even facebook has a better password managment implemented.

Cant complain about the weed growing everywhere thou

Invite his whole family. We'll make an event out of them visiting!
They're for medicinal purposes only.
Still can't believe they fell for letting us grow it everywhere.

Well...
>1st outbreak: Someone put the bug enlarger down the drain to make some ninja mutant turtles but all we got where tarantulas the size of cows.
>2nd outbreak: the same person sprayed an albino ape in the ass for a joke only for them to turn incredibly grumpy
>3rd outbreak: A robin came in and built its nest on one of the main gears for the lap distribution system. Half the lower levels were on fire, including some proto-type lizard people. I didn't ask questions but security told me the machine got clogged..good news the robin was complete fine and turns out robins are immune to most altered viruses.
>4th outbreak: It was just a drill then William B tripped sideways and released a Plant 42. I had to throw the thing out the window and into the fountain.
>5-9: is just carelessness
>11th time: it was some meddling kids.

Did the same guy we got to make the Spencer mansion design the police station or something?
Or does the Chief just have a boner for art?

Art boner. Some of use had to go to the RCPD ball and all he could talk about where busts of dead people from rome. I shit you not he said "All paintings to me are sensual" then he just ranted about money bribes are for jews. Highly inappropriate.

3 words.

Giant.

Frogs.

Thats just 2

Ok so hear me out guys. So you know how Anthony down in the test labs figured out how to perfectly make human clones quickly and inexpensively and they pop out as actual adults with the exact same memories as the real thing?

Well we should use that to put a clone of a famous person in a big recreation of, like, Times Square or Moscow or some shit, and then set off a fuckton of zombies at them, then film what would happen if someone was caught in a zombie outbreak. Imagine seeing a video of your daughter getting caught up in a zombie outbreak, you'd be like "Oh fuck, here take my money!" haha, man we're gonna be rich!

Giant Hungry Frogs?

Be honest. You're just saying that cause you played Hungry Hungry Hippos?

Hmm..but will it have...umbrellas?..

I don't know sir..isn't it a tad evil of us to..I don't know. Sell aid sprays while manufacturing..ahh..cannibals?

I dont know why arent we selling this shit 24/7, we release an outbreak and then we rise the price, easy cash and valuable data

This is fucking stupid this key shit and so are those locks. And attack dogs to guard fucking computers??? gee it's as retarded as someone using their gfs name as a password. How the FUCK are we still in business and WHY the FUCK would ANYONE want to work for US.

Guys! guys! I know how to get us all promoted! Lets give those B.O.W. equip with ballistic!

Sir...eeeemm.. I had a suggestion, what if we stick to make actual pharmaceuticals to help people instead of expensive bio weapons that get out of our control pretty easily and make us lose money everytime?
It's just a little... thought of mine..y'know.

NO WE USE NUCLEAR SON

You can both pack your things and leave.
Definitely will look into it.

I can see it now...A B.O.W with a bazooka. We'll make 100s of dollars!

Congratulations to employee number 4104631, you've won the weekly lab lottery! Please come down to the research labs to claim your prize.

Also to the owner of the White Ford pickup truck, you left your lights on.

How the fuck are we keeping we the recruitment costs?

Just the fucking qualifications to being able to gain an admission are high as shit and then you have an extensive 2 years training, and only then you may be selected to become cannon fodder to our bioweapons.... why the fuck bother then?!?

I guess the dental plan is why no one quits...

Sir... those B.O.W. is doing those 'funny' things again to our female scientist... Is this safe?

sir, you dont get what 'ballistic' is?

Sir i heard we gonna trap those Bravo Team at Marcus facility! Can i keep that cute police sir!

Which one of you twats broke the coffee machine?

I believe the correct term is "enhanced" the coffee machine.

Wh..who the fuck do you think you are you crazy little shit??
All prisoners are sent to the test labs, you know that

;_; dont hurt her sir, please...

Nah my inspiration is furry vore porn, imagine what they could do to our enemies

*puts arm around your shoulder in a steady grip*. I hear your concerns but let me worry about them, but I am sensing a lack of confidence with you *says you in a death sentence way before smiling* But..envision with me. You want to make the world a better and healthier place my boi? Yes

weaponized autism

I don't have to, just make it happen or ask me again in 6 minutes when I completely forget what you asked me.

welp, you're the boss, OFF TO WORK

err guys... i have this weird sensation at my crotch looking at Birkin's daughter...

Sir, excuse me but as a human resources representant in this reunion, I didn't liked what you did to that employee just for asking a question, with all due respect of course.

>5 minutes
>6 minute memory

So there is going to be a member of the board with a foreskin like a wizards sleeve in the bathroom..who also got fingered by you. I have a feeling you're going to be looking for heads to roll about this and not recall he dick thing being completely your idea.

How about we genetically engineer some monstergirls?

What are you, a faggot?

I assure you my hands were washed.

But we only have seven minutes left in this meeting though