Can I play this with one hand?

Can I play this with one hand?

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Yes perfect game for a handicaped men

Is it still getting expansions or will they make a third sometime soon?

Only if you don't want to fap while your slut queen seduces her daughters husbands.

I doubt they will be making ck3 any time soon

Yes.

Yes, they're still churning out expansions. No, they won't make a third one because they're incompetent.

is this shit like Europa Universalis IV?

No. CK2 is a good game.

Or was until Conclave.

Supposedly

No, it's much slower. EU4 is about blobbing and growing stronger as a country while CK2 is about the characters.

this ones more about rp'ing like a loser

Yes, you can play it with just a mouse and while it's real time there's a pause button for when you actually want to do something, so speed is not an issue either and you don't need to use keyboard shortcuts or anything like that.

>EU4 isn't for losers

what did conclave change? I started playing last week with all dlcs, should I disable conclave?

>I started playing last week with all dlcs, should I disable conclave?
Yes
Together with Sunset Invasion

What's so bad about those?

why?

basically now your most powerful vassals expect to be in your council even if their stats are shit, and you get a whooping -40 if you don't make them spymaster with 4 intrigue or whatever.
Every law change is now a vote held between you and your council instead of a slider you just change. On the upside, as long as you don't curb the council totally, they can't associate with factions as long as they have a council seat, so it made factions a bit less annoying by taking out the biggest vassals as a consequence.
It just adds a layer of pain in the ass. I enjoy it because I'm a masochist and it focuses a lot on internal politics rather than just expanding, but I can see why it's hated.

Conclave is great, its just the free patch it came with that sucked, they are removing some of the shittier features anyway

People don't hate on Conclave specifically, the features it added were good. Its that Conclave came along with the worst free patch ever, forcing everyone into shit like shattered retreat, non aggression pacts and coalitions.

The core Conclave mechanics of the council and favours are the best additions to CKII's gameplay since release, it's a pity we had to have all the other shit.

Oh and also there's the favor mechanic. You can ask someone to vote for you in the council, but you'll owe them a favor and they can use this to initiate a vote whatever they please. Which means that if most of the council opposes you (most of the time they do, unless they're at 90-100 rating) they're gonna change the laws even if you don't want it. Of course you can just buy favors instead of owing a debt.

I usually abolish council power and crush all rebellions that come my way.

People kept complaining that it was to easy ruling a big empire. So they the made a dlc that makes it harder to hold a big realm together. Naturally people despise it.

>shattered retreat
why does everyone seem to hate this? I mean, before you just had to win one battle and then pursue their army to make them go from 100% levie to 10%. now they have a chance to fight back even if you win a couple of wars.
Even the defensive pact, it's just made so that people don't just snowball into conquering half the map in 50 years

It just makes politics a little bit harder. That's all.

Don't listen to him, all DLC other than sunset are good.

Conclave's features don't really matter unless you have a big realm and low authority, they actually make playing as a vassal more fun.

I don't hate it, but lots of people seem to. It does make playing as smaller, weaker nations more difficult because you can't get it all on one big battle that changes everything.

Because they are too lazy to get proper cavalry and want to end things easily.

>started a game as the chief of Volhynia
>tried to play the council game the way it's meant to be played
>form the Kingdom of Ruthenia
>council starts getting annoying
>have to bribe them to pass laws
>form the Empire of Russia
>tired of the council now
>start ignoring them
>fire anyone who doesn't vote with me and replaced them with characters generated by the hire decisions
>fire them if they vote against me
>all my vassals join a faction to depose me
>win the civil war and execute every single vassal who revolted against me
>their successors
>I revoke all their titled and execute every single one of them
>imprison everyone with a negative opinion of me and execute them as well
>replace them with people who like me
>the realm is now stable
Tsar Mikhail the Beheader really worked for his moniker.

Just ask to educate some of your vassals and get your competent courtiers to do it to make them not suck, or do it yourself. The new education system is pretty good.

>imprison everyone with a negative opinion of me and execute them as well
>replace them with people who like me

I don't know why that made me smile so much, but it did.

Sunset Invasion is just bullshit, ahistorical and no fun

>keep hearing about people who make every heir strong-attractive-genius
>try a zoroastrian run, sounds perfect for that
>became saoshyant after a couple hundred years
>one child turned out strong from both strong parents out of all the marriage combinations between traits
did they nerf it in the mean time or something?

Conclave is based, fuck you.

Sunset is garbage.

>start as Asturias
>automatically lose Galicia
>10 years later lose Leon
>10 years later lose the game

What happened to islamic kingdoms having civil wars all the time? Ummayad blob is impossible to end.

t. Erdogan

...

You were completely keeping it in the direct family right, maxed out sister/mother/daughter concubines and wives at all times? If not you were playing Zoro wrong.

If you pass a subgle trait you're already lucky. Also go with elective monarchy if you really want to go this route since you'll probably have many children before you get what you want.

Attractive is pretty skippable, if you have to choose it's best to go with Genius first.

I know right? I just like how he didn't execute everyone who opposed him or was a danger, just literally everyone who didn't LIKE him. Mikhail knew what was up.

yes, I masturbate to it regularly

I literally do, how can you not when ?

>tfw I had a strong-genius-attractive heir in a game where I tried to RP
>he died
>my wife gives birth a few months later
>my new son is strong and quick
>name him the same name as my dead son
>he never lives up to my expectations
>get the event about how my basileus' son can never live up to his dead brother
>the basileus kills himself a few weeks later
>the strong quick son becomes king at 13
>I end up becoming ambitious, a brilliant strategist, and a duelist
>conquer all of the Levant, Mesopotamia, and most of North Africa with him

>All the territory he could ever ask for
>But not the love of his dead father

Being the second son is suffering.

At least he never found out that his father killed himself because he was disappointed in him.

>appoint a cardinal
>depose an antipope set by East Francia
>the pope still won't excommunicate anyone or grant me a claim
>manage to get my brother elected to be the actual pope
>he still won't do shit for me aside of helping in some wars
>popes never do anything for me despite the fact I'm the only one actually murdering infidels, keeping church-friendly traits, appointing prince-bishops and trying to keep the faith powerful

How do you control the papacy? If I can't even influence the pope I might as well adopt some heresy.

is the pope your vassal?

1. Become an emperor
2. Create an Anti Pope
3. Use the CB to make your Anti Pope the new Pope
Congratulations, the Pope is now your vassal

you need to pretty much suck up to the karlings for the first century while you slowly revoke all the best counties from your vassals and try to push the muslim shits back across the iberian

I don't know. I helped a guy become a Pope and he ended up turning on me. God damn Papacy has it out for me every game.

Suck Charlemagne's cock
Wait for the Ummayads to attack you
Take a loan from the Jews and hire some mercs
Fight back the invasion
Force them to surrender
Use the money they paid to you as to hire more mercs
Holy War them

>How do you control the papacy?
Vassalise him

Unfortunately I had to get the traits from somewhere, bavandids weren't born with them.
But official wives were almost always sisters yeah.

kek

Shit, I just noticed that I fucked up a line
>their successors revolt against me as well

Well shit, I didn't think I would have to go that far. I guess I have no choice then.

Reminds me of my favourite ever character.
>playing the Khagan of Khazaria long before Horse Lords
>Have a son, strong, good stats, high martial, he will be a good Khagan
>have a second son, because of the huge amount of inbreeding (Zoroastrian run), he comes out with the "Slow" trait
>Call him St'pid, he is a laughing stock
>when St'pid hits 6, send him to be educated by the high priest, he'll never be useful for anything important, right?
>Prince St'pd graduates as a Mastermind Theologian, all his stats are 0 other than Learning which is 17. I've created an autistic idiot savant manchild
>elder brother dies
>oh shit
>Khagan Dies
>ALL HAIL KHAGAN ST'PID
>HUGE civil war across our giant empire immediately breaks out to depose the retard man child
>St'pid spend his first few years battling the rebels
>retinue army OP
>rebels finally crushed
>pic related is the result, I'd made us a Greek/Zoro combo for maximum evil
>Khagan St'pid has gained the nickname "The Dragon"
>My autistic manchild Khagan proceeds to be the scourge of the west, invading europe and laying waste to civilizations, he is the most feared man on the planet
>DO
>NOT
>FUCK
>WITH
>THIS
>AUTIST

more like until india

You are clearly not fucking your sister hard enough if she isn't producing geniuses.

>no India
>no Khazar facepack
Holy shit, that's old. I'm glad they made the Iranian facepack much lighter now.

>I didn't think I would have to go that far
What half assed game do you think you're playing?
You're supposed to be a genocidal, warmongering, child murdering, eugenics practicing, sister fucking tyrant.
Making the pope a vassal is par for the course.

It was. I installed a facemod halfway through, this is the world as St'pid left it. The european conquests were all his

>groom an heir ambition and family or seduction focus, +55% fertility
>wife and three concubines
>no pregnancies for 15+ years
>suddenly three of them are pregnant
>strong child, daughter, sickly child
>have ultimogeniture and no way to change laws for a while
I got the depressed trait irl

>58 gold

I just ended up starting in Toulouse. Almost 200 years in, despite all the dissent I'm sowing and their revolts the blob just won't fall apart into taifas. I just had to conquer their rebellions to get ground. I made a kingdom out of Toulouse, Provence and Barcelona, and later conquered Aragon and Navarre, but I'm still nowhere near strong enough to beat them in a direct war.

AI Asturias is just two counties at this point.

The Ummayads and Abbasids very rarely fall apart. And even if they lose control of the Arabian Empire or Andalusia, a new dynasty just replaces them.

Don't bother sowing dissent alone, it takes to long with far too little benefit, you need to save up as much jew gold as possible and raise as many mercenaries as you can (i'm assuming all the catholic states are a clusterfuck and pitifully weak).
how large are their forces?

...

Anyone got any tips for Charlememe Zoro start? It's fucking impossible.

Abandon all hope of not being cheap as fuck
You need to pretty much cheese the game as the Caliph, conquer as many territories as possible then convert your son or yourself via a province and revoke all those filthy infidel titles.
Trying to start as an actual Zoroastrian is pure suicide.

Suck the abbasid dick, pray he doesn't fuck with you, exploit any weakness.
I restarted a few times, then got the ball going by conquering weak neighbours. Then a big independence war happened in which egypt and a few other vassals rebelled. Abbasid could easily field 2x my armies, so whenever I felt threathened I just swore fealty to muslims, then eroded them from within by inciting independence revolts whenever the ruler was weak. Every rebellion the abbasids got fewer levies and territories, once you can repel their attacks you're set to expand normally.

>tfw long time strategybabby
>tfw Banished acted as a gateway to Cities Skylines, then Stellaris, then EUIV
>tfw lose sleep some nights wondering how I will conquer the Moors

Thanks for the advice, it's good to know the Calpih DOES get weaker because jesus fuck he starts off strong

>not playing as a true heir to the persian empire

Embarrassing. I'd rather fail gloriously many times as a Zoroastrian than be a dirty converted muzzie arab.

You still haven't played CKII? It's easily better than all those you listed, still.

It's retarded and straight out of EUIV

Fuck you for even defending it

I got it and EUIV at the same time during the summer sale. It's next once I get sick of EUIV.

CKII is just the best, man. EUIV is maybe the worst Grand Strategy they've ever made.

>tfw lose sleep some nights wondering how I will conquer the Moors
Have you been around for CKII's original release?
You haven't lived till you've struggled to unify the British Island under a fledging Ireland as your first game only to look at the mainland and see an Almoravid Caliphate that borders the Rhine.

It wasn't that bad
It's on the way there though, if they keep adding stupid nonsense like corruption rather than what the game truly needs.

It's probably a matter of chance, but in my latest games Abbasids *always* fracture into bordergore.
As opposed to Francia and Scandinavian empire that get big and never ever fucking get smaller.
Anyways, Charlemagne Zoroastrian start is kinda ass and you should be ready to restart a few times. too many things can fuck with you completely like title revoking or weak religion authority. Just accept that you have to get that rare run in which things go in your favor.

The most sucessful Old Golds Zoro run I had was all down to a PERFECTLY timed Zoroastrian revolt that crippled the big grey muzzie blob (can't remember the name) just at the right time to let me stablise.

I feel like in Charlememe start you need even more lucky breaks like that, maybe even at the same time.

>tfw started as an Irish minor
>unified Ireland, then Conquered all of Wales, then England after I inherited the Petty Kingdom of Mercia
>after years of intermarrying with the Mercians, my family was ethnically Anglo-Saxon but still culturally Irish
>ended up converting to Anglo-Saxon to appease my vassals
>Ireland slowly converted to Anglo-Saxon culture
King Niall III failed his ancestors and the Irish people.

Because how the cunting fuck does it even make sense.

>army is in full rout
>routs from paris to fucking moscow
>also this somehow makes them fucking invlunerable
>and they can reinforce while in rout
>and they reinforce faster than an army not in rout
It's just dumb, and it serves to ensure that the only thing that matters in a war is total manpower.

!

They are shit right now. Partially my fault I guess since I got independence from East Francia at some point. They're very fragmented and there are a bunch of independent counties in Vascony/Aquitaine, and the Ummayads actually advanced a little bit into Aquitaine earlier in the game, but those territories are now isolated from their Iberian realm. The catholic states are pretty unreliable overall, except maybe for Lombardy. Lombardy does occasionally fight the Ummayads too, though the last time I allied with them I got dragged into a bunch of wars and I really wanted to resupply my levies and cool down with vassals so it didn't work out.

There's also Byzantium too, they seem to be going strong so far.

kek

also kek

youtube.com/watch?v=GxAbWogPENU

The next DLC just got announced.

it simulates people fleeing in a disorganized manner with no respect for chain of command while yours has to keep logistics up
I'll grant you the fact that they seem to retreat way too far when it happens, but otherwise it's fine. You can still catch separate armies and win against a numerically superior opponent, it's just harder to do because before you just needed to win that one big initial battle and the loser was done fore

Noice!

>it simulates people fleeing in a disorganized manner with no respect for chain of command
BUT
WHY
CAN'T
I
KILL
THEM?

If they're fleeing in a disorganised manner and the argument is that I just can't find them because they're dispersed over the countryside and have ditched their equipment, HOW ARE THEY FASTER THAN MY ARMY?

If your response to that is "but you need logistics and they don't, and they're in a full-pelt rout with no organisation other than run away" then HOW DO THEY REINFORCE FASTER THAN MY ARMY and SUFFER NO ATTRITION?

It just makes no fucking sense whatsoever.

>WHY
>CAN'T
>I
>KILL
>THEM?
you probably can reach a few stragglers, but your army has to respect chain of command and can't just go after all 20+ groups of peasants all going their separate way, it's just an abstraction
>HOW ARE THEY FASTER THAN MY ARMY?
they don't care about chain of command or anything, they're just running as fuck. you army still has to report back, ensure it get supplies, wait for orders, etc
>HOW DO THEY REINFORCE FASTER THAN MY ARMY and SUFFER NO ATTRITION
if it's their territory, they're just picking up people as they go and tales about the invader spread. If it's not yeah it's a bit retarded

I'm not saying it's perfect historical system, but it's better than "one big fight and a chase later suddenly my 10k stack is now 1500"

its fairly retarded given that they also reinforce while over enemy land

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STEP 1#

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realism is not a valid argument -johan

Little remains of those settlements where the Black Death has passed through. Hasty burials make a mockery of the sacraments and set a feast for the crows. Once prosperous provinces have been laid waste, and the lord of the land hides away – secluded in his hilltop fortress, hoping the plague will pass him by. Wiser princes took precautions, and didn’t waste the revenues from more prosperous years.

But, in time, all must pay The Reaper’s Due.

The Reaper’s Due is the newest expansion for Crusader Kings II, the best-selling medieval strategy simulator from Paradox Development Studio. This expansion highlights the historic importance of epidemics and disease in the Middle Ages, especially the Black Death – an outbreak of the bubonic plague that may have killed a third of the population of Europe.


The Reaper’s Due introduces many new systems and features to what is already the richest medieval tapestry in gaming:
Epidemics Improved: As diseases spread from province to province along trade and sea lanes, they lower your manpower and sap your wealth
Hospitals and Royal Physicians: Prevent the outbreak of disease in your kingdom, and make sure your courtiers have access to the latest in Dark Ages Medical Science
Prosperity and Royal Focus: Well managed provinces in peaceful kingdoms will pay huge dividends in gold and levies
Seclusion: Shield yourself from the diseases tearing your kingdom apart, even if it means ignoring the plight of your people
New Event Chains: Is the new epidemic the End of Days? Is there someone else to blame for these horrors? Are there supernatural origins or solutions to the world’s problems?

>what is routing?

Get cavalry retinues and you can. The main purpose of light cavalry is to kill routing enemies.

There is not really an army there, it's an abstraction to show how long until the army reforms in friendly territory.

>disorganized manner
>they all end up in the same place
Shattered retreat should have the same affect as dismissing an army in an unfriendly province, half of them die and the rest go home

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And even more feminism
yay!

Not that I'm not glad at anything that triggers you thin-skinned bitches but what the fuck are you on about?

forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/index.php?threads/crusader-kings-2-dd-13-pagans-advisors-and-warrior-women.955632/
It started with laws of women which is tied to tolerance, even though that tolerance is clearly towards other cultures and religions and not tolerating useless people
Now it is going to add literal fiction
I want my CK2 to be semi-realistic, without le stronk womyn bullshit, is it that much to ask for?