Your last vidya related purchase was accidentally shipped to your parents who opened it

>your last vidya related purchase was accidentally shipped to your parents who opened it

How fucked are you?

it's not so bad, they already think im gay because i've never brought a girl home

>battleborn collector's edition

They can keep it

>Zero Time Dilema
I hope they've played the first two games!

I fell for last night's mouse scam.
So they'll probably get blown up by Pajeet.

Shame.

A ps4

it's ok

>bought Overwatch collector's edition
>mom opened the package
>knocks on my room door
>hands it to me
>son, why is that boy wearing spandex leggings
>no, mom, tracer is a woman
>do you even know what a woman is supposed to look like user?

Fuck you, mom.

>Oh, did you buy this for your nephew?
>That's so sweet, he loves Minecraft!

Awww yea

I don't buy video games. The closest thing I can think about is a power supply I ordered for my printer and that's only because said printer is connected to my computer which I use to play games, so it actually has nothing to do with video games.

>purchase
kekkle

>mom regularly cleans my room for me
>have a fleshlight
>hide it under my bed
>one day I find it in my drawer
>still don't know if she opened it or not

I'm 23 and finally moving out of my parents' house next week. I expect to end up on a watch list for how much weird shit I'm finally going to have mailed to me now that they won't go through it before I get it

>hide it under my bed
what kind of shitty hiding spot is this

>under the bed
Shit tier dude. I hide stuff in my guitar cases, false bottom boxes and locksboxes stuffed far in the back of my closet where they won't even be noticed.

>be me
>be 18
>order a huge black dildo to prank a friend
>get back home
>it's unpacked and sitting on my bed
>parents never mentioned it

I hope they don't think I'm gay

How is that a prank?
You're clearly gay for every considering that.

...

well you missed your opportunity to be a man and explain straight away, so yeah, they think you're gay.

at least they accept you

If one day they say something along the lines of "we'll always love you no matter what", you can probably start thinking about ways to end yourself because they definitely know.

You should have acted surprised, and gotten your family to think you got pranked

>family tells him that they accept him
>he better kill himself!
???

Funny. I'm gay and been holding back getting atelier since the whole whole kawai uguu ditzy girl shit does nothing for me, although an alchemy based RPG does sound cool..

Last thing I bought was the physical version of the Overwatch Origins Edition

It actually was. Got Armored Core For Answer for my PS3 and 360 accidentally, meant to get it for the PS3 only. He liked the cover design. Played some split screen till he realized that it wasn't for him because it was much more different than the earlier titles.

>i'm gay
why did you feel the need to announce that?
I bet you do it in every post.

Did you read the post he replied to?

>CPU cooler
And nothing happened

Just got a new monitor today. She asked what the big box was so I told her. No worries if she opened it.

he said it because the post he replied to made an assumption about gay people, its not like he just randomly out of the blue did it

>expecting package
>delivery guy cums
>open it
>it's a strap on
>what, must be for the neighbors
>nope, it's addressed to my dad
>freak out and throw it away pretending I never saw it
>dad calls up and complains the package never arrived
>no sir, we have user's signature on file
>user
>where's the package? Did you open it?
>deny everything
>awkwardness that my parents think I know about their fetish and that they might think I stole it for my own personal use

Fuck my life

>they got a receipt for me getting a free game, because PSN sends receipts for that
Pretty sure they won't be THAT worried.

>>open it
>>it's addressed to my dad
I would have kicked you out.

Opening other people's mail not addressed to you is a felony in the US.

Why do people think they're entitled to open your mail?

loosen up, there was no need to throw his package away or spoiler that.

>user DID YOU TAKE MY STRAP ON?

Why did you open mail that wasn't for you?

Saw Ratchet and Clank in theaters with family. Probably gonna ask how I got it on blu ray already

>having parents that open your mail
>not laying a ground rule that anything you get through mail can only be opened by you

How beta can you be?

>EDF 4.1

Probably won't give a shit

>go away for college
>surprise my parents by coming home for Christmas
>house seems empty
>look around
>check parents room
>mom is tied spread eagle to the bed covered in semen
>dad is asleep next to her
>she looks at me
>quickly close door
>user
>y..yes mom?
>please untie me
>o..okay
>go to untie her
>dad wakes up
>gets startled and screams
>I freak out and scream
>lose my balance and fall on my mom
>dad's juice all over my shirt
>run away to my room and close the door
>leave in the middle of the night and never talk about it again

Fuck

On the topic of PSN, is it just me or has it been unusually shit for PS3 users lately?

>loosen up
a-user, that's lewd...

...

Because most people aren't going to report their parents to the police for opening their mail.

just jump on that weeb bandwagon even if the fan service doesnt phase you.

i had a blast with senran kagura and because i dont give a fuck about girls i had no worries about playing it in public :^)

gust make pretty nice games tho.

>find out what didn't happen on the next exciting episode of "Things That Never Happened!"

My parents are playing Doom and The Witcher 3, I guess.

My parents let me do my own thing but my ex had shit ass Mexican parents and they basically pulled the if you live in my house I can do whatever I want on her. Plus her and her mom shared the same name so she'd constantly open her mail

>didn't fall on your mom with your dick out

What are you doing user?

This.
Fucking scum.

I honestly don't know what they would think.

>be 8
>snoop through sister's (13 years old) room
>find condoms
>don't know what a condom is at the time
>fill them up with water and play with them
>mom comes home
>user WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?
>in sis' room
>sister comes home
>parents yelling at her
>they pull her from school and home school her
>cops and court case involved since she was apparently fucking a high school senior

>order dragon dildo
>im like 17 years old or some shit
>living with my grandparents at the time
>say to grandfather i ordered a computer part but it is VERY fragile please do not even handle it
>he tells me its fine and wants to know more about it
>tell him its just a GPU and please dont handle it
>he says its fine he's got it
>mfw

the day it arrived they happen to be out, but i STILL missed the delivery guy because i had my headphones on and had to go to the apartment complex's main office and ask them for the package myself... i wonder of they knew what it was.

>disgaea 3 vita
no pls

>Overwatch
Meh.

Mana Khemia is better

>visit cousins age 14-17
>they offer me liquor
>wait, how?
>apparently some uber drivers will buy alcohol and drop it off for you no questions asked

Wish I had it that easy during high school

are a grill or a faggot?
did at least you have fun with dragon dildo?if you did, please elobrate.

>13 years old
>About to go on a car ride with my 19 year-old sister
>"Oh, user, I forgot my CD on my bed can you go get it for me?"
>"Just don't move any of my pillows"
>Run up to her room
>Flip all the pillows for shits and gigs
>There's a two-prong claw shaped vibrator taped to her wall

I never told my family but I told all my friends

I'm sorry, but did it say on the package anywhere "Dragon Dildo"? I feel like the company would make their packages discreet for their clientele.

"Hey user. I think your Japanese Saturn games arrived our place by accident. Would you like to pick them up from our place, or should we take them to you?"

>"Just don't move any of my pillows"
>said to a 13 year old boy
Okay, then.

>be 28
>too busy with work to have a relationship
>job has season tickets to the local NBA team
>boss invites me out
>bring your significant other user
>o..okay
>find a hot and expensive escort
>introduce her to boss and his wife
>boss freezes up
>hmmmm
>she whispers to me my boss was one of her best clients
>4 hours of awkwardness ensues

Kill me

Why do women even need sex toys when they can get laid on demand

Who the fuck opens packages that are not addressed to them? Assholes.

i have a cock and im proud of it.
it was pretty nice, never had a sissygasm from it but still feels great. my only problem is i was never able to take it down to the base because of the knot. its seeing more use than ever before now 4 years later and i STILL cant take the knot.
cant remember what was on the package and i never got the invoice but the woman who handed it to me was being koy with me.

Her boyfriend was a low-test psychopath piece of shit who was sleeping with his side piece more than her

A $0.06 hat I bought in dota 2 last year with some leftover steam wallet cash

I think the last game I bought was Skyrim on release, not sure though. Definitely the newest game I own but I don't know if I bought older games since then.

Some women are very very ugly.
Some women are very shy.
Also sex toys can't get you pregnant.

>Sleeping Dogs definitive edition
>A bunch of John Woo bds
>Sealed God Hand for the collection
>EVA-01 figure

Nah man, it's all good. My dad loves action films. Now if they got the one before this order, hoo boy.

You could go on the road with that story. That's fucking hilarious. Become a stand up comic, or better yet sell it to Louie or something

You had me going up until
>lose my balance and fall on my mom
then I knew you were full of shit. Cool story anyway.

>graphics card

All right, I guess they can hold onto it for a bit.

I'm not really a buyfag. I don't "get" people who buy figures and shit. I only buy stuff if it'll be useful, ornaments are just useless tat.

>I don't "get" people who buy figures and shit

>browsing the internet
>see something I like the look of
>buy it
Really it's that simple. I'm pretty awful with money, though.

I'd get a weird look for sure.

Why bother commenting in the thread then?

Some women have low sex drives because of mental or physical illnesses and don't even masturbate.

I don't know how the fuck you can name your kid after yourself
You'd have to be a fucking retard.

980ti

Not very fucked

nigga it's against the law to open anything that's not addressed to you

>tfw you're named after your father who is named after your grandfather
o-okay

GPU
Meh
They'd only be angry and probably say i'am mental if they saw the price
bought 1070 for like €550, its expensive as fuck in the EU

I was named after my dad and my dad was named after his dad and his dad was named by his dad and so on.

You know what's worse?
5+ generations of naming your kids with both parent's surnames.

Pretty bad I told them I needed more money because I got a speeding ticket when I didn't and just wanted to buy a PS4.

Only if it was delivered by USPS.

But why?
It's just unnecessary confusion.

must be a carry over from when royalty used to do it centuries ago, I didn't pick my name i dont know

...

I don't order online like a disgusting neet, I enjoy social interaction.

an xbone controller and a pendulum music cd

Sweet home on the NES. Parents already know about my hobbies. Nothing will be questioned.

>leaving the house to make purchases
I'm sorry is this the middle ages?

Support your local brick and mortar merchants right?

Don't forget to pay in cash!