Six-year-old cousin comes over

>six-year-old cousin comes over
>I'm playing Mario kart
>"it's my turn now"
>he drives into the wall the entire time

Why are kids shit at video games now?

>try to help him
>"NO I CAN DO IT!"
>keeps fucking up by doing the same thing over and over and complaining even more

Maybe you should give him a h-h-h-h-h-hug, man.

>one person

>probably first time playing MK
>probably his first time holding a controller

Duh.

No more hugs Will

Maybe he's trying to exploit through the track.

>12 year old cousin tells me she plays lots of games
>wants to play a mario game
>boot up super mario world
> she dies to the first enemy 4 times
> spend the next hour playing some minions running game on her phone instead

Can you make me a sandwich?

...

w-wew i know this feel user ;รง;

>Friend asks to help her babysit some kid
>He's around 6 years old
>Sitting watching TV
>"Can I go play a computer game?" he asks
>Really curious what game he is going to play


Guess what game a 6 year old wants to play on PC?


League of Legends

They watch let's plays nowadays instead of actually playing games

YOU OWE ME

>16 year old brother wants to play Amnesia, might have seen Pewdiepie play it or something I don't know
>skips all the tutorial stuff and doesn't read anything
>later on can't figure out how to open a door even though he has the key
>I tell him he needs to use it from his inventory and he says that's stupid
>his friend is here too and he starts playing from there
>Doesn't know where to go because he and my brother skipped all the reading
>tell him where to go but he still can't figure out where that is even with all the signs up

>skipping tutorial
I fucking hate this fucking shit. Thanks for the daily cancer dosage.

Has anyone here ever skipped a tutorial as a kid?

mobile games

>online
>kid on mic asks how to do something basic

Why aren't forced tutorials a thing?

I usually did, but there wasn't really much need to really look at certain mechanics if the game was already simplistic enough to understand.

OHMAIGAHDOHMAIGAH

>MFW my 11 year old nephew plays LoL

NUMBERS NUMBERS NUMBERS

>14 year old cousin wants to play a Sonic game
>boot up S3&K
>he gets all of the super emeralds and beats the game with over a million points

When I was a kid, tutorials were pretty uncommon.

This. Every kid nowadays I see is walking around with their tablets watching obnoxiously loud let's players. It's aggravating.

Because then everyone says its the worst Zelda ever.

>seven year old nephew saw me playing League
>"What's that?"
>"League of Legends"
>"I have that game on my phone."

Lying piece of shit

Why are kids such dirty fucking casuals.

If you're saying all kids are shit we probably were too

Video games used to be hard. Now they are made so that even retards with no arms can beat them.

Same with technology, its so easy to use nowadays that there's absolutely no learning curve and so their level of technological know-how stagnates at babby level.

I'm convinced men born in 70s to early 90s remain the most technologically literate generation that ever existed.

Because kids know nothing, just like how everyone else starts off. It is only when they understand the deep wisdom inherit in 'git gud' do they seek something greater.

>"Losing is bad mmmkay"

I blame the gen z kids for being crybabies
I blame the parents who grew up in gen 2-3 for spoiling them
I blame the industry for being too casual

Sometimes. If I read the manual beforehand I did.

I remember being extremely shit at Mario 64 when I played it at my older cousins house. He must have been furious watching me.

This

>uncle wants to empty the banks, fill our streets with banks and run a bank-making operation out of his banks

Me too, but they were pretty awful too. All we ever did was go into levels and mess around. He sold his N64 to me years later and when I checked the save file they had less than 10 stars.

>be a six year old in current year
>likely spend more time watching pewdiecuck and cuckiplier playing games than you do playing them
>only games you have are shitty phone games

would you make me a samwich?

mfw it's actually a black thing

This.

It's also destroying their attention span because they're so shallow and disposable.

My 7 year old cousin always wants to play video games with me but wants to change games every 10 minutes.

> 7 year old cousin came over
> sees me playing nuclear throne
>ask him if he wants to play
>instantly understands the control and beats the game on his fifth retry

how

But user, aren't some of those banks?

Nothing pisses me off more.

They don't seem to understand that similar =/= same

Autism

No, and I always flip through those game instruction manuals

>Used to work at an arcade
>Every so often I get a parent with their kid who was 9 or under
>"We want a kid friendly game/something easy"
>"Ok"
>Set them up with something piss easy, usually a game that has one button and the whole point is to jump over shit
>Show them how to play
>Kid immediately runs into a wall and gets stuck
>Parent give me a look like it's somehow my fault

>12 year old cousin at the time
>his parents bought him Halo Reach (it was the Christmas of its release)
>watching him play
>points out the guy at the top of the scoreboard
>"oh I know him, he's pretty good"
>does this about 5 more times in different matches

Why do kids lie through their fucking little teeth so much? They even lie about stupid trivial shit that doesn't matter.

Kids like that always existed.

I had a friend come over and play Mario 64 and they got lost in the Boo Fountain area, before there were any Boos.

Said friend ended up loving halo.

speak for yourself my 7 year old cousin beat resident evil 2 on my old n64 because I made him

> seven + five year old cousins come over, play mario party and super smash bros
> was quite fun
> he noticed i have a steam account
> now he begs me everyday to play with him as he has holidays from school
I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing

Same thing with my 12 year old cousin. I bet most people would love to have someone always there to play Civ and HoMM with but for an AHDH fuck like me its hard to keep up

When I was a kid, games had no tutorials.

Theres always been tutorials, they just either didn't hold your hand as much or werent in the games you played.

SMB1 basically had a tutorial in the way of a demo.

It's strange. Sometimes a game can only hold my attention for about 20 minutes but I can get sunk in for hours at other times.

Its the parents' fault. I know a couple of kids (under 7) that barely tell lies, have manners, and can also play the same video game for extended periods of time. Every other kid I've met is an absolute little fuck that I want to stomp to death in front of its shitty parents.

That's a generous interpretation of the demo. There were simply manuals for you to read. I think the earliest tutorial I remember was from Banjo-Kazooie.

Parents are scum. They expect their children to be treated better than everyone else even if they're total shitheads.

>tfw you'll never again ride home excited for your newest video game reading the manual and exploring the map

My brother used to tell lies like that all the time as a kid. The worst part is that he still does it at 24 years old. Last year he tried to convince me that our cousin's eyebrows fell out once, which they didn't. Honestly what the fuck is wrong with some people?

The good parents are the one who actually get embarrassed when their kids act like retarded little faggots.

THERE GOES PHILLIP BANKS

>Sister finds her DS
>Asks if I have any games
>"Uhhh. Not really, no."
>"What about that one in your DS right now?"
>"Sure."
>Hand her Advance Wars
>Brings it back immediately and goes back to her phone
Not even a single fucking mission.

>17 year old nephew tells me to fix the air conditioning in the pool house

>niece wants to play games on my desktop
>alright
>she plays a game that teaches her colors and shapes and stuff
>that's pretty cool
>she tries to use her finger on the screen like it was tablet
>"uhh you can't do that it's a desktop"
>"oh okay"
>every once in a while she instinctively goes back to using her finger

>sister always makes fun of me for sitting on my ass playing games all day
>she also pretends to like pokemon

>playing KoF
>my 10 year old cousin comes by
>"Oh, I know how to play Street Fighter! Can I play this game?"
>proceeds to punch my stick for 2 minutes instead of actually waiting for the opponent to be near her and then attacking
>I say "There are only 4 attack buttons in this game, you don't need to hit the last two"
>She gets angry and says "I know what I'm doing!"
>loses about 5 seconds later
>she starts crying and screaming
>mom runs into room and says "user, stop bullying your cousin!"

She also plays Mario and Shantae this way. Do most kids not know that they don't have to hit the buttons at all times?

females are just dumb and everyone does everything for them, so naturally they can't do anything themselves

No, I always read the instructions or at least had someone read them to me when I was really young. Most kids in my family can't read at all.

Funny story, really. My idiot aunt bought her daughter a tablet, and I said "She's 4 years old. She can't even read yet. Why bother getting this for her?" Her response was, of course "She can play games on it, though!" Later on, the girl spent like 30 dollars in micro-transactions her brother used the tablet to look up porn, but even then, my aunt didn't learn. She just said "So, can you help me set up parental controls on this?"

Ironically enough, any legitimate attempt I've made at teaching this girl how to read is met with her family members saying stupid shit like "She's only 4, she can't figure this out yet!" and "She's too young to read a book like Yugioh!" even though it was literally written for children and only uses basic addition and subtraction when any math comes up at all.

sorry grandpa

But I taught my mom how to play Virtua Fighter. She still hates blocking and refuses to do it most of the time, though, so you may still have a point.

I'm 18 actually

I don't know, but you should go buy that kid an ice cream. Fuck Lil' Hunter, I'm a grown man and that little asshole ended most of my good runs.

>nephew plays MarioMaker
>skips each course immediately as soon as he dies

REEEEEEEE

>playing Romance of the Three Kingdoms
>10 year old cousin enters room
>"Why are they speaking Chinese? How do you even say that name? Cow Cow?"
>I respond with "Well, the game takes place in China nearly 2000 years ago. No one there knew English."
>"But Chinese people speak English in Naruto!"

Granted, that made me laugh, but this is actually part of a pattern I've noticed. Many people in my family get weirded out/confused when they see foreigners speaking their language in stuff I look at. When I watched Eyeshield 21, my sister, who was 16 at the time, would always say "Why don't they just speak English?" They're also pretty paranoid whenever they hear Mexicans speaking Spanish. So is this an American thing or do most people react this way?

>So is this an American thing or do most people react this way?
It's an uneducated retard thing, then again europeans countries are such a tiny clusterfuck of cultures and languages it probably is a mostly american thing where you never actually run into foreign languages except on TV or if you live far enough south.

That's a fucking based 6 year old man.

I played the game for 6 years.

Like holy shit do you even comprehend.

I have friends who are actually BAD at the game.

a 6 year old WILLINGLY CHOOSES TO PLAY THE GAME IN BETWEEN NAPPING, AND FUCKING ZOOMABAFOO

Man at 6 years old i barely managed to do a single thing let alone a computer game for 5 minutes.

>is this an American thing
Yes.

That's like being happy a kid can make a drug deal. Sure, it's impressive, but it's still a bad habit.

I remember being like this as a kid. It's just you don't get that English isn't some sort of "universal language" that everybody uses, with other languages are like secret codes or something.

I mean, nobody ever goes out of their way to say "no, people speak other languages the same way you do English: they use it in normal day-to-day life and they think in that language". It sounds dumb but if you're not pants-on-head retarded you eventually learn the truth and grow out of it.

I never had this problem. Even here in South Carolina, we were taught that people speak different languages in different countries. Granted, it was mostly shit like "Oh yeah, they speak a language called French in France, they also eat bread and stuff" but that's more than what kids get in some places.

>2015+1
>not owning a touch monitor

So American culture is so insular, they don't even teach kids that places that aren't America have a different culture than them? That episode of King of the Hill where Hank didn't "get" Canadians wasn't a joke?

Had some kids smear some shit on my TV with their fingers thinking they could operate it like a tablet.

A lot of it is dependent on your parents and peers too though. My mother is one of the least street-smart people I've ever met. All of Wisconsin outside of Milwaukee and Madison (I currently live in the latter) is basically the deep south with Canadian accents.

>now
people who aren't used to play video games are bad at them
I remember playing Gran Turismo 2 with my cousin when I was like 8 and she was horrible at it

King of the Hill in general is a LOT less funny if you live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere in the US because it's not hyperbole that often. That show's closer to reality than you think. I swear you get so paranoid from people's dumb shit you wonder if any hideously dumb statement is real or not.

US is a fucking huge place. Like I don't think a lot of other people understand just how much bigger it is. You drive for 3 hours in one direction and you can cross several country borders in europe. You drive for 3 hours in the US and you probably wont even leave the state.

Fucking huge expanses of empty fucking where you can see the fucking horizon in each direction are like staring into the ocean abyss. Except instead of spider submarines its just fucking corn.

I'm Canadian. We have several subgroups of people living here across our vast expanses as well. A bunch of Chinese people, a bunch of Indians, French Canadians, et cetera. Also, I thought the U.S. had a lot of Latin American immigrants.

>family visits me and they bring their little cousin with them
>my bathroom and bedroom are connected, and are upstairs
>take a shower, and step out, and for some reason my bedroom door is open
>my cousin is standing right outside my room, and sees me completely naked for a second
>immediately cover up and close the door

and then they visit again in half a year
>cousin joins them again
>he is much more clingy with me
>my visiting family wants to talk to me in private
>they said that their son told them that he had seen me naked
>they want to take LEGAL ACTION against me for indecent exposure in front of their son, in my own fucking house, and in my own fucking room that had the door closed when I stepped into the shower

what the fuck do I do

>now
Why don't you stop being a jaded asshole and realize it's been the norm for years now.

From what I've heard American """"education"""" focuses very heavily on just America. That's why their kids learn the names of every US president but nothing about the Napoleonic Wars. They learn every state capital but know nothing about eastern Europe, apart from the Soviet Union.

This is what I can piece together from American television and from Americans on Sup Forums.

>US is a fucking huge place
Yes but with far less culture and history and history than anywhere in Europe or the rest of the world.

Has your cousin never seen his own penis?

>Play Crash Bandicoot as a kid
>Do really well
>Play as an adult
>Eat shit

What happened?

Tell them that their perverted little cousin was trying to peep on your dong and that you've been ruined for marriage because of it.

If they're pressing charges for that, though, you should probably disown them and burn down their house.

Well if Europe is so good, why don't you stay on Krautchan you nazi?

kek

Yeah I don't get it.

When I was 6 I beat the first Final Fantasy. That game is no fucking joke. I feel like any kid doing that shit now would be one of those fucks whose parents try to put them into college at that age.

You're not that far off from the truth. They do glance over that stuff in high school, but anything directly America-related is shoved down your throat until you choke on it. Better be able to name every single state and its capital, also US were the good guys in every single war and the only thing we ever did wrong was slavery, oh yeah and I guess the Napoleonic Wars happened or whatever but that'll be like 1 or 2 multiple choice questions on the test, you better know the preamble of the constitution by heart.

Also the Pledge of Allegiance seriously needs to fucking die. I hated that shit as a kid and I hate it even more now.