Girl i'm seeing comes to sleep over

>girl i'm seeing comes to sleep over
>we wake up today
>i ask her to suck my dick while playing overwatch
>she does so
>leave my mic open all match
>people start asking what the fuck is that sound
>i start grabbing her head and fucking it real fast
>they notice
>2 12-year olds are disgusted and one german dude is laughing his ass off
ITT: Voicechat stories.

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i.imgur.com/4Grb84C.jpg
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>things that happened

Wow ur so alpha XD

Sounds like the world's loudest blowjob

ITT: Fanciful Tales of Whimsy

>mfw this just happened to me

>gf starts crying
>her face turning purple
>feel her vomit colliding with my dick head
>her eyes start to roll back into her head
>there a foamy mixture of my semen and her vomit bubbling from her mouth
>finally SPLOOGE and release her from my death grip

>girl i like comes over
>briefly rests her head on my should while pretending to be scared of what's on tv
>her arm touches mine and she doesn't move it away
>nothing happens, we go out to eat and then she goes home
Good finally I can play video games

>girl comes over
>we are sitting on my bed watching tv
>she tells me that an actor is hot
>the actor is a girl
>niggawhat.jpg
>ask if she's gay
>she's not sure
>slip my alpha 4.5 inch penis into her hand
>she starts giving me a blow job
>halfway through she says "yeh sorry user I think I'm gay"
>she goes home
>1 week later
>shes playing overwatch with me
>she says she has to go for a second
>faintly here her getting pounded by a 7 inch Chad
>mfw

Why would you doubt that happened?
Is sex so infrequent in your life that you do not belive that such things happen in other people's sex lives?
Why the fuck would i brag about getting a blowjob on an anonymous forum. Stop being stupid.

How did you know his dick size?

...

>not knowing the sound a pussy makes with a 7 inch penis

You must be small user :^)

>invite friend over
>he accidentally starts sucking my dick

What do?

Enjoy while it lasts, might be the only one you're getting, friend

Do females even enjoy giving blowjobs?

>used to hear this kind of stuff from awkward kids when I worked at a rec center
>they always bragged about having gfs and doing things with them
>the other kids were always so impressed
>I see now that I share a board with these kids.

yes

...

You're just saying that because you forced your dick down their throat

I think it just depends on the girl. When I'm with someone I like I enjoy eating her out, but mostly because I can make her cum >inb4
I think it's probably the same way with most girls.

Assuming it's Tyrone ramming his horsecock down their throat, yes.

This story could've easily been a post in the general, like that other stupid Ana thread.

Fuck off to

>tfw no gf to go down on

...

I ended up cybering with my online girlfriend in ventrilo during a raid. This was several years ago when you could literally afk as a hunter.

I thought we were in a private chat session and turns out I was voicing out my cyber-sessions to the rest of the raid members. Pretty embarrassing, but whatever.

>finally get a blow job
>but the girl is a virgin
>blowjob isn't that great because she isn't that great at it
>haven't had sex still

Is it weird to say I want to be with a whore once? No wonder girls want experienced guys as well.

It's called SUCKING a dick, not put it in and out your mouth.
Suck like it's a fucking straw.

Nice.
>playing pokemon go
>walking by the park
>see some milf with huge tits
>pretend theres a jigglypuff and point my phone towards her
>she notices and asks what im doing
>oh sorry just looking at this jigglypuff
>she says "what?" while her huge DDs swing in my face
>haha its juts a game
>she says ohh im sorry i thought you meant these
>pulls her tits out
>Holy shit
>Tell her damn i'd love to bullet seed those DDs
>grabs my 12 inch boner and takes me to her car
>we fuck hard
Gives me her adress to come over later today
Holyyy shiiitt i cant believe Playing Pokemon Go got me laid. Cant wait to fuck her again. why arent you playing PoGo Sup Forums?

>tfw last gf's pussy tasted good (as far as pussies go) and she came quickly and often so it wasn't even a chore
>tfw she was also clinically depressed and bipolar and I didn't want to deal with that shit

>Why the fuck would i brag about getting a blowjob on an anonymous forum.

I don't know. Why are you doing it?

Sucking a dick is way more fun than going down on a girl
I've done both faggots

Do they still tease you both?

I think I gave my FWB multiple orgasms, or at least an orgasm when doing it to her.
Always doing new things with her, and think I've found something to forever please women.

>>Tell her damn i'd love to bullet seed those DDs
>>grabs my 12 inch boner and takes me to her car
I slightly believed it until this

2012 Sup Forums was wild

>Join a server
>Hear micspam as soon as you hit the MOTD

Yes

>go down on girl
>my own saliva+her pussy juices all over my face

I don't mind it but l hate having my face covered in slobber, even if it's mine.

Who gives a shit. They better pretend to if they want to get a ring on that lockdown finger.

Good post.

>playing some smash bros on my 3ds in the park
>see some girls screaming at each other
>"oh my god shut up and suck my dick"
>they're like "what you're disgusting"
>show them my 45cm dick
>they immediatly come to suck it

wtf i love OP now

Holy shit, you're not banned anymore?

It's worse when you have facial hair.

Bro, I've ban evaded for 6 years.

Coming from a bi guy it depends on the girl but it is pretty enjoyable a lot of the time. Just something wired that enjoys the feeling of it in the mouth.

Happened to me today except i was playing my Vita they almost left when they saw it

deploy.loveisover.me/_/search/username/ruggarell/

i.imgur.com/4Grb84C.jpg

Yup. I do. Mustache and goatee combo.

I hate niggers

It sucks when it dries and burns
I love eating ass though.

You forgot the ##

DICK-SLAP DICK-SLAP DICK-SLAP

Shit gets all in your beard and mustache and then it dries if you don't immediately try to clean it off, I hate it.
And I look like i'm 15 when I shave so I can never escape it

I can't shave either. My friends tell me l look like a douche without my facial hair.

Is she measuring your dick in that pic?

I'm right on the edge of looking like a manlet, my beard is the only thing that sets me over the line

Looking like a douche isn't a bad thing, user. I'm almost certain that your friends are the jealous type and would be devastated if you started pulling girls.

Where did you buy the onahole?