Parents have ten guests over for lunch

>parents have ten guests over for lunch
>guests show up in the morning
>it is now 7pm and they are still here
>no breakfast
>no lunch
>and now no dinner
>cannot go downstairs to kitchen and risk being seen
>so hungry

please advise Sup Forums

Why can't you be seen?

>If you are under the age of 18, discontinue browsing immediately.

Play vidya or concentrate on shitposting. If you can get lost in reading some shit then go onto /his/ and find a nice thread to jump in or something.

Walk downstairs with your dick our and tell em all to suck it

Starve. This is survival training. You'll need it when you start living in the streets.

OP is over 18 but is an autistic manchild just like you and everyone else on Sup Forums

INTERACT WITH STRANGERS?

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Get dressed - shabbily - then climb out the window. If you haven't been made, then you can enter through the front door as if you'd been out all night

You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

Just tell em to nom on your dick, ez.

Get something to eat you degenerate.

If they "hurrdurr cave monster" you just laugh and continue on your way like a normie.

Alternatively just walk like a crab or an egyptian the entire way. They will be too shocked to ask.

See if you can make your clothes/bedsheets into some kind of a rudimentary net to catch birds with. You should be able to pull in a sparrow or two to butcher and feed yourself with. Are you able to make a fire?

go downstairs get some food and if any of them poke fun cause you haven't been seen all day you say "i'm sorry who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my house?"

Call Dominos and ask if they deliver to windows.

What does Marie's splat taste like?

Kill the guests and eat them.

shit

call in a bomb threat to your house

>Alternatively just walk like a crab or an egyptian the entire way. They will be too shocked to ask.

Sneak out and buy something from you're favorite store.

Lime sorbet

>my house

>Alternatively just walk like a crab or an egyptian the entire way. They will be too shocked to ask.

the mere thought of some neckbeard waddling through a living room full of guests like a crab while being completely stonefaced is killing me

INTERACTING WITH CASHIERS?
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Go downstairs and say "It's closing time! You don't have to go home but you can't stay here! Good night!"

suck your own dick for nutrients

Go to bed and sleep through the starvation.

That's what I do.

;_;

EMERGENCY

My mum just asked me to take someone home.

HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP

is she cute?

Holy balls, this whole thread is autistic.
Why are People afraid to see other People, do their opinions even matter to you? If you act like a normal fuck at the start there wouldnt be a "problem" at all....

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU DO NEXT

YOUR MOTHER WANTS GRANDCHILDREN

did you know the satyr in coc can impregnate men with buttbabies?

>imaging some neckbeard huffing and puffing while trying to shimmy out of a window
>at that moment the guests start to leave and see him from the outside

the adventures of a Sup Forums browsing neckbeard with shenanigans like this would make for a good tv show

salty bags of milk and coins

You're fucked.

You gotta be quick user. Run down there, open your fridge and grab as much shit as you can and then run back. Do it so fast people will wonder if you were even there at all.

>be silent coming down; all neckbeards can do this
>open the fridge
>"I was always here. You-you didn't notice?"

>lock self in room for like 6 months when i was 14
>3 months or something in dad has visitors over
>skulk into kitchen to get water, visitors see me
>"oh he's homeschooled"
>skulk back into room

f u n
u
n

>Not keeping emergency tendies in your underwear drawer

Come on user

were you really homeschooled?
because this is explains so much

Go to sleep and if your parents bother you tell them you were sick the whole time.

i was, it just pissed me off that t. "there's nothing i hate more than lying" dad was telling them how he actively homeschools me

When I was this pathetic I used to curl up in bed and sleep and get something when I woke up.

Then I fixed my shit. Feels good.

You know, that's one of my favorite scenes

>not eating as much shit as possible beforehand in case of emergencies like this

you're disgusting