They have 330 employees

They have 330 employees

What do they even do?

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The hold the office corridor against Persians. The remaining 30 work.

Get free food and massage.

sfm porn

That was so funny.

Not! Jesus Christ what year do you think it is? 2007? That is the most 9fag comment ive seen on this site ever, and I've been here long enough to remembers the original Sparta edits and macros. Yeah, that's right, a picture with text were called macros back in the day, not memes, you fucking faggot. Go back to Facebook where you think you're funny.

>Not!

>Comfy job where you do nothing but buy knives all day

he is living the life and all his goals and ambitions have died. He doesn't give a fuck anymore.

Gabe would have been cooler if he bought guns instead.

>Not!

They are desperately trying to develop and implement algorithm which will finally sums all the money they are getting every milliseconds from all the games, hats, mods, subscriptions, money under table and skins.

The rest 2 guys are releasing bug fixes. Little they know the bugs can never be fixed.

>Not!

Jesus Christ... I needed a time machine to go back in time to laugh at that.

wipe their asses with 60 million dollars

>Not!
Is this the famous American humour I have heard about?

Tf2 team: 2 people
CSGO team: 5 people
Dota 2 team: 25 people

Source 2 team: 5 people

Comics team: 3 people

Steam client team: 10 people
Steam Machine/Controller/OS team: 20 people
Steam VR team: 20 people
Steam support team: 0 people

The other 210 people are caterers for Gabe.

They're obviously working on Left4Dead 3.

Painfully accurate

>Comics team: 3 people
Do they call in sick every day?

>25 people on Dota

What is that, 23 to import hats into the game and two to read reddit and import every decently-formatted post as an actual balance change no matter how retarded it is?

Live the good life.
Most are likely working on VR. In between million dollar blowjobs and intern gladiators fuckbois.

No fucking way the Dota team has 25 people in it. Probably 5 at most to do regular updates, balancing and shit, and then they occasionally get an artist and an animator once a year to create TI items and maybe a hero.

>Not!

>Not!

Dota 2 team: 25 people
Mate, Dota 2 is also ran on a skeleton crew if you exclude whatever employees they wheeled over for asset creation during TI6.

Probably Steam stuff, since it makes 95% of their profits.

They BTFO the zuckulus rift.
They're trying to offer an alternative gaming OS to the botnet.
They have the largest games distribution platform in the world.

>how to btfo yourself 5 words into your own post

fucking pottery

The comics are all outsourced as far as I know, as least the recent ones, specially on Dota. Also, the Steam client updates are always really minor, so 10 people on it seems a bit much. A whole bunch of people are into the VR team though, considering there were lots of reports of devs moving on to hardware. The rest of them are just doing whatever they want, maybe trying to create new games and scrapping them because they don't have anyone else interested on developing anything.

Make updates for steam every five minutes that do nothing

>Not!

Well just steam needs some folks in each country they have some presence, people to update it, translate some shit, update it and talk with all the developers and publisher

Masterpost.

>Not!

Not!

restock the money printers with Ink & Papers

Translation is crowdsourced through translation.steampowered.com/

Also Valve doesn't have offices anywhere else besides their main one in Seattle. They had one somewhere in Europe I believe, but they closed it a while ago. Also developer/publisher stuff hardly requires any actual contact with Valve. They can just publish and update anything whenever they want, just needing an 'approved' dev account.

>Not!

>Not!

/thread
Why do fags always think that companies like Valve only do video games and that support and updating and maintaining software comes cheap and can be done by 2 people for the whole globe?

Steam is like a perfect moneymaker. They've created a system where they can have minimal input and let the clients and publishers do the hard work. Other than updates that fix nothing, there's not much they need to do.

masturbate to sfm porn

They have 900 employees

What do they even do?

ugh ohhh guys I think WE have a post for /r4chan look at all the replies! hahaha we are SO original

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Rockstar makes videogames, they obviously just take lot of time to make

The TF2 team is on point though. They barely play the game while shitting out one of the most stupid balance patches. Weapons have their own gimmick? Let's gut its uniqueness! Axtinguisher is balanced with the backstab crit? Let's make it takes ages to pull that shit out on top of the reduced damage. You missed your attack due to broken melee hitbox? The swing speed penalty will make sure that your enemies can get the fuck out or blow you up. The Claidhem Mor has extra charge time? Let's make it a crappy Zatoichi clone. Bison's fine the way it is? Let's fix the bug where it can pierce a single enemy multiple time despite the fucking tooltip recommend you to abuse the mechanic on fleeing enemies? I don't know what kind of crack they're on, but they're fucking insane to pull out these shit balances

>800 artists
>95 directors
>5 programmers
Just like every other modern game company

They sit around and try on hats.

>Not!

include me in the screencap! xD

underrated

You guys ever notice how Valvedrones always try to deflect critcism by asking the same questions about other companies?

>tfw TF2 will never be the same after it became meme fortress 2.

>Not!

Website content management, legal, brand management, hardware development, software development, graphic design, marketing, research, etc.

330 employees is kind of small to be honest.

He's completely right though, was a Reddit as fuck comment.

>Not!

>500 marketing people
>300 artists
>95 directors
>5 programmers
FTFY

>Not!

Don't see what's the point. Other companies actually release games.

>899 artists and pr people
>1 director
>no one knows how to programm
kojima productions

>how to accidentally implicate yourself in a screen cap as an idiot.

You brought this on yourself.

>tfw Valve using stolen assets

That seems completely different. There's a lot more whirlwind effect on the overlaid image. What's the context?

No, they just work on it bi-monthly.

>Not!

And that's the end of that.

well

Not!

Wew lad. I can feel the karma increasing. I'm becoming more powerful

>Not! is this a programmer joke?

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so they basically block this guy from entering the snack vault?

>TF2 will get bimonthly comics
>Almost 8 months between each comic
>Oopsie, we thought bimonthly meant two months a year

reddit piggu go home

Copypasta posts should be a instant perma ban.

Well baited my friend

>They have 330 friends and family that got in through nepotism.
FTFY

>What do they even do?
Reap the spoils of PC master race being massive tools and buying games they don't play.

That's not pasta though.

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Post games to sell on their shitty program. Receive money.

Half-Life 3?

make 'free' updates on gta v

jesus christ i can smell the mix of virginity and sweaty bodypillows from here

They make HL3.
Then Gabe tells them to scrap everything and do it again.

>Not!

I can tell you what they're not doing.

Making video games.

>Not!

I think you're overestimating how many people run support.

Facebook for gamers, importing community made cosmetics into their games, be on the lookout for what mod to steal and the thinktank on how to jew your customers even harder.

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>all these (You)s farmed from retards

i suppose Sup Forums falls for any bait nowadays

You better screencap this

not!

If you think that's bad, check out Sup Forums. Any "if you dont reply your mom will die" post gets at least 10 replies regardless of what thread its in.

That's the same on literally every fucking board though. Just report those fucktards and move on.

Maintenance, that's it, the games that still run are years old games that only require maintaining the servers and occasional patches.
They don't even need to make games, because the type of fan they marketed to are incredibly obsessive that don't get tired of the same shit for years on end.
They just sit back and collect a third of every game sold on their client Steam.
They're never going to make another single player game ever again, the only games they'll ever make is followups to their online multiplayer games and only once the players drop below a certain number so they can hook them again for another 5-10 years.
Given Valve's current state, they have to be the company that does the least in gaming but has one of the biggest fanbases.
Gamers are suckers and fanboys, which is practically the same thing.

apparently half of them work on VR.
Most of the rest will be working on Steam and Dota.
There's probably a skeleton crew working on other games.

Making world class AAA vidyagames takes a lot of man hours from experienced professionals

they have literally 3 guys for the whole TF2 team
i think the others are too busy jacking off to VR or signing promotional deals with cosmetic items

Protect steam from rusky attacks 24/7
Dev support
Maintaining a virtual economy (the steam market)
Shilling DOTA to e-sport

>Not!

Not making a new midnight club thats for damn sure.

But on second thought i dont even think i want it because they will ruin it like gtav