AVGN just reviewed the last game you completed

AVGN just reviewed the last game you completed.

How does it do?

>Euphoria

The nerd will most likely the most confused boner ever

>New Vegas

He likes it. Appreciates the writing and acknowledges its problems.

I don't think he'd take a shit on it

Spore. He should review it my friends were dying at my reaction to how bad the game gets in the tribal stage so I imagine the nerd would do it justice. I might would rather see him do a j&m Monday on it though just to see his genuine reaction.

Does this happen before or after I fuck his wife?

>Neptunia rebirth 1
Oh man.

>Danganronpa 2

Would probably just act like he has no fucking clue what's going on, and with his attention span he wouldn't make it past chapter 2

>Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones

He'll like it and say it's good.

Dark souls 3.
He'd probably like single player, but shit all over multiplayer

>Touhou 6
Maybe Silver Surfer 2.0, rewieving the whole franchise would be a big mess

He hasn't played a game after 2000 legit, and has nothing to offer in terms of critisism for games after 2010. He is an old man, living is his 'Golden Age' past, and can't get over the fact that he is a failed director, despite that being his only dream in life.

Any input he DOES give, will be invalid and completely biased, because it's not on 8-32 bit consoles.

I'm sure if he bought and reviewed Skyrim Remastered he wouldn't think it's complete shit, Todd.

Just imagine getting the ability to make a movie. Hundreds of thousands in funding and it's barely distinguishable from the shit you made in your basement. That even your hardcore fans felt let down.

Amazing.

>AM2R
He'd complain about getting stuck on Arachnus or complain about the Metroid AI, but otherwise would leave the game unscathed.

He is in a coma in a hospital.
Pro tip the game is about making cheap alcohol.

>Path of Exile

"What's the point of all of these passives when you're forced to pick life nodes? Also why the fuck does my character keep teleporting back, WHAT IS THIS SHIT LOAD OF FUCK!?"

SSBM

He reviewed the core game, of course, without mentioning anything about the competitive scene. It was a favorable review. Too bad Jon ruined it.

I feel like a Bloodborne review would be similar to the River City Ransom one. Like, he would nitpick and find things to bitch about just to be a dingus. Prob be a Halloween trick vidya.

>Resident Evil HD
oh god, these tank controls are a bunch of DOOKY! and why is every fucking door locked, it's like, you have this giant mansion to explore BUT NOOOO YOU GOTTA FIND A FUCKTON OF FUCKING KEYS TO OPEN THEM.

also, these zombies are WAY too hard! you get this shit fucking PUSSY ASS pistol which does no damage, and worse of all, HALF THE GAME THERE'S NO AMMO. IT'S LIKE, GEE, LETS HAVE ALL THESE WEAPONS BUT LEAVE NO ACTUAL AMMO TO USE THEM. What were they THINKING??

Oh and these camera angles are the shits; can't you just let me SEE the FUCKING ZOMBIES instead of making me take a cheap shot. AND IT TAKES 3 OR 4 HITS TO DIE? WHAT A BUNCH OF FESTERING DOGSHIT FROM A ZOMBIES ROTTING ASSHOLE! THIS GAME SUCKS!!!

cuck

>Favorite AVGN episode
>Least favorite AVGN episode

Go.

>The montage of deaths to Patchouli
>The montage of deaths to Sakuya, if he could even reach her

He did? Link to video?

>The ROB episode
>The AVGN Games episode

>World of Warcraft

Mines iron while his wife's ass gets painted in saharan standard from the inside

Fuck, I read it in his voice.

You forgot the part where he drinks his beer then goes "Well, to be fair, this game is meant to be hard so you would be scared. And overall, it's still a pretty decent game."

>Favorite AVGN episode
Bible games 1
>Least favorite AVGN episode
Everything after street fighter 2010

Castlevania part 1-4

Toxic Crusaders

He wouldn't get 10 feet

>Favorite
32x or the Castlevania videos.

>Least favorite
It's a tie between the ROB episode and Crazy Castle. or Lester the Unlikely.

>God Hand

He'd probably do a James and Mike on it instead. Regardless of whether you like that game or not, there aren't really any major game-wide bad design issues to dig into. He'd probably love it.

>favorite
Toxic Crusaders, i don't know why, but I always watch it once per day
>least favorite
Nintendo Championship

Sega Cd
Independence Day, video was boring, not his fault tho, it was the game. Even James said "It's so bland and mediocre that it's hard to even come up with legitimate complaints."

>god hand
>...Does that say Ball Buster?
>mfw the ball buster montage
>mfw it ends when he tries it on silver and it doesn't work

>EDF 4.1
Since it's basically Japanese B-movie about giant insects I think he'd like it.

>Tiger Games
>Day Dreamin' Davey
I haven't watched Toxic Avenger because of how bad it apparently is.

OK lets finally settle this

What is the best AVGN episode?

So of his recent stuff might not be funny, but I literally cannot watch Toxic Crusader. I've tried like 5 times and I just can't finish it or even continue for more than a minute or two.

>least favorite
>Nintendo Championship

Why, dude

Texas chainsaw/Haloween
Ones were he gets the character as a guest tend to be shit. Spiderman/Bugs bunny/dog from wizard of oz.

"They give you the ability to arrest up to three people, but your partner won't be anywhere near you to help arrest them, and you just get ambushed! And you can't just knock them the fuck out quick once you've got them Halted. What the fuck were they thinking!?"

I'm actually having fun with Battlefield: Hardline. I got it on a flash sale on PSN for about five bucks, and the story campaign has actually been pretty fun. It's like Far Cry 3/4-lite with some neat gadgets. Worth it for under a tenner.

Picking one is too hard

So i'm picking one from each of the golden AVGN years

>2006

Power Glove

>2007 (The GOAT AVGN year btw)

Festers Quest

>2008

Double vision part 1&2

>2009

>favorite
The one with the sports games on Atari.
>least
Any of them where half the video is cinematics. So like the one where Super Mario Bros. 3 comes alive by the power of Satan or whatever.

To be fair, it's not his fault.
It's that old fucker

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

>Too bad Jon ruined it.
huh?

So, Sup Forums, what's the best episode, and why is it Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blowout?

He does play modern games, he had a wii and the other new consoles and the current gen too

Boring , and the good part began when they started playing until AVGN broke the cartridges.

All of them together back-to-back-to-back watched while you're playing some vidya.

Why does japan likes AVGN?

*Toxic Crusaders

We can all agree that AVGN between 2006 and 2009 was GOAT right?

>Dragon Quest 1

Bitches about dark caves and grinding

The same reason the west likes Arino.

>What hole did they dig you out of?
HOLE IN YOUR ASS

Back to the Future, Rerevisited wasn't as funny.

>Bible Games 1 or 2
>Toxic Crusaders or Lester the Unlikely

He ruined it by being there. It isn't fair but I don't like him. When Mike yelled "TUUUUMMMBBBLLLRRR" I wanted to givem a smack too but yeah just don't like him. I love SSBM so I wanted it to be perfect so his presence was additionally annoying.

...

I don't get it.

How to review like the AVGN

>Find a game.
>Toss out the manual it's just in the way.
>get as far as you can without stopping to think.
>complain about it being too obtuse. >Remember you got rid of the manual so it's not your fault you don't know what to do.
>Break the normal rhythm of speaking/conversation
>Look directly at the camera.
>Swear like a grade school who just learned the words and question what the devs where thinking.
>Again you don't have the manual anymore so you don't have to find out what they intended as that would be effort.
>Die.
>Repeat aforementioned swears. Make sure everyone KNOWS you're swearing.
>get up and posture with less subtlety than a mime.

> Earth Defense Force 4.1

I'm pretty sure he'd spend half of the episode bringing up Godzilla and classic monster movie references.

Fuck Mike. He never adds anything to the videos but cancer.

Honestly if a stage 5 boss deserved that punch, that boss would easily be Orin or Clownpiece.

>Rocket League
I don't think AVGN would find anything wrong with it.

Everyone has tried to follow that formula and the copycats failed miserably

>Monster Hunter Generations
What a shitshow that would be.

>too complex
>monsters take too long to kill
>no monster health bar
>why am I stuck in a stupid animation after using a potion
>why do I have to craft so many items instead of buying them
>why do I have to kill the same monster for parts instead of just unlocking new armor and weapons like the good ole days
>what do you mean I have to use a different armor set for ranged weapons and blade weapons
>why do I have to put TEN points into a skill to use it

>Terraria
You have to *build* houses for the NPCs? Were the people who made this game too lazy to do it themselves or have they never played another game before and thought this shit is normal? Well, let me tell you something: It's not normal. It's poo. But not just any poo. It's the rancid poo scooped out of the rotten anus of a dead hippopotamus. It's the juicy anal goop dripping out of a donkey's dingleberry-ridden diarrhea dispenser. It's the... you get the point. It's not good and I don't like it.

>he has a 10 inch dick

Too bad he only talked about the SNES port and it's probably too late for another Castlevania retrospective.

Just beat Bioshock 2 literally ten minutes ago. Pretty good. Ending kinda sucked but at least I got the goodest one.

I just want him to start doing console review again

They were always amazing

It took awhile for me to adjust to him and Bootsy. They are both okay. Bootsy is a little better but at least Mike is always there. He kept the AVGN going and had a few solid performances in the videos.

>wanting to punch Orin

I'll fuckin fight you mate

>Favourite
Ninja Gaiden, Crazy Castle.

>Least Favourite
Glitch Gremlin, that one with NES Pat.

>Plebs didn't like the Toxic Avenger episode with Lloyd Kaufman.

It was James meeting with one of his heroes.

He may have changed his name but he's still and probably always will be a hardcore Nintendo fag.

Has he even done any 32 bit games?

He at least gave it a try on J&M Mondays.

WHAT WERE THEY FUCKING THINKING?!?!

>that castlevania 64 review

That's because James' formula requires an understanding of the trifecta which makes NES games playable:

>Understanding the nostalgia for the games
>Understanding the ways game design has advanced since they were made
>Understanding how to play the games despite innovations while highlighting the game design flaws

Every AVGN imitation has just jumped to shitting on old games without being able to look back on them fondly. They're just imitating the anger without understanding the underlying fondness.

When AVGN shits on an old game, there's an underlying embarrassment being conveyed to everyone who grew up with the games at remembering how excited and hyped for these games we were, how much time we spent reading Nintendo Power or EGM and talking about these games in school.

Someone who first encountered Sonic 2 or Super Mario World on an emulator doesn't understand the underlying fondness for the entire era, which is why they fail.

>Favorite
Tiger Games
>Least favorite
Moonwalker.

>Blast Corps
Enjoys it because you can destroy the fuck out of buildings, but gets frustrated with Backlash (pic related), then there's a short montage of the carrier blowing the fuck up several times. Gets frustrated with Diamond Sands and Oyster Harbor.

Wonders why nobody just goes on the Carrier to stop it only to realize it would still blow up.

Thinks he beat the game after getting every scientist and beating every main level only to suddenly have to destroy a tiny town to clear space for a space shuttle's emergency landing, and then goes to the moon. Probably mentions the Platinum challenges, and maybe even attempts them.

There'd likely be more to it than this but those are things that I'm sure would be in the review.

>Not liking Moonwalker

Whats wrong with you?

>Favorite AVGN episode
I couldn't name it, there are so many great ones
>Least favorite AVGN episode
I couldn't name it, there are so many bad ones

>The earliest AVGN episodes are now older than some of the people who post here

> Favorite
All episodes excluding skits

> Least Favorite
All episodes including skits

Fuck those skits get worse the older I get. Maybe it's the fact that the worst part of the show inspired so many imitators, but I can't enjoy them anymore.

>Favorite
Either Silver Surfer (because I, too, hold a deep and burning hate-grudge against this game) or the one he did on Tiger Electronics.

>Least favorite
I really disliked the Texas Chainsaw Massacre one because it was more "skit" than review, and the skit was fucking lame.

>Glitch Gremlin
That one sucked too, yeah.

I love Michael Jackson, and I couldn't stand that James the whole episode was
"MICHAEL WAS A PEDO XDDDD"

>"MICHAEL WAS A PEDO XDDDD"

It literally wasnt though

Well, he's right though

I like the ones with the theme song guy. Ikari Warriors was hilarious.

How many 11 year olds post on Sup Forums?

>Ikari Warriors was hilarious.

Leave

I liked double vision the most

It was a nice and more review like without any forced humor

Nah, it was legitimately funny.

Sup Forums and Sup Forums are the fastest moving boards, so if I had to guess, all of them

Its the worst episode by a mile

What the fuck are you talking about, who's jon?

WHERE DID THE HAIR GO

WHERE DID THE HAIR GO?

OOH~

He implies it the whole episode
>When Michael rescues a kid he says "Now I know what we're all thinking!"