One of these characters is going to move into your house to live with you for the duration of 2017. Who do you pick?

One of these characters is going to move into your house to live with you for the duration of 2017. Who do you pick?

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Lara, Samus or The Boss because I'm not a fucking fag.

Kirby

>You die of hunger in the first week

Kirby.
He would give the best blowjobs once he learns how to control himself.

>Not wanting to be bro with Dante
Fucking Pizza Fridays that are hosted aroundy place would be awesome with him
If not him then Samus is a close second

JC Denton. We can be a standup duo.

I want JC Denton to view my browser history.

>Watch TV with JC
>He gets up to take a shit
>HUP HUP HUP HUP

i think dk would be the chillest to hang out with a long term basis probably

I feel like the right choice is Lara but I'm tempted to pick Samus cause that's a potential year of being in contact with cool magic tech.

Wario would be a terrible roommate. Kirby, DK and Duke pretty much ensure you won't survive the year. Uncle Dante's probably the best character on the list but that's a clear case of 2 extreeme 4 me. I'd probably just be constantly scared the boss and her old time period best soldier ever ass would disapprove of a lot of shit and force change upon me via beating.

Don't know the others.

>Nobody in this thread enjoys soup

>DK pretty much ensures you won't survive the year.
DK is a bro as long as you don't steal his bananas or his gf.

Classic Lara's a cold blooded bitch though

Croft.
She'll rarely be home and when she is she won't be there for long.
But when she is there she'd probably be in a celebrating mood.
We'll celebrate for days on end and I'll deep dick her rotten to help her relax.
Then she'll leave the next morning without so much as a thanks for the good time or a morning bj.

Samus seems like she'll just quietly stay out of your way unless you talk to her first. Seems like a good roommate.

He's still an fuck strong Gorilla with limited communication with people and a "poke or shove first" way of investigating things. I'd say he's still decently dangerous to live with.

She never changes those black socks.

What now, faggot?

Dante because I'd fuck him

Dante or Gary the Hot Soup for sure

Soup's on, baby.
youtube.com/watch?v=aZuI3ZkCHfs

>live with Wario
>become like Wario

DK.
Apes seem to be easily killable lately

This is on purpose. Her feet are washed with saliva, not water and soap.

Samus, just so I can give her back massages.

Dante would be the best at first, but his work has an annoying tendency of following him home. Same with Duke, the Boss and Lara. DK won't clean up his piles of banana peels, Kirby would clean out the fridge, and Wario is right out. The actual best choice is probably Samus.

Denton

cause everytime I wanted him to clean the dishes he will say

"What a shame" and walks in his room and closes the door.

worth it

>Honey, I'm home! I'm wooped after such a long day at work. But I'm happy to be back with my family. Say, you aren't making me food already?
>Soup's on, baby.

Redpill me on the skeleton, he seems cool. Hope it's not some WRPG.

Denton would probably cause your home to be bugged everywhere by the Illuminati and MJ12

It`s Rinmah nigger, from E.Y.E.. He`s not a skellybones, but is a living dead soul in a mostly machine body. He`d probably be really confused and lost most of the time, and would weigh a thousand pounds and smash stuff with with super heavy armor and superweapons, but money wouldn`t be an issue, as he gains brouzouf from killing dudes. It`d be weird, and you`d probably get killed by some weird reality bending monster at some point.

nu-Lara

The Boss and JC are the smartest ones on there, so Lara

Samus, but only if she lets me take pics of her in the Zero suit so I can sell them online and make millions.
Otherwise, Dante or Wario.

She and nu-Samus live next door. It's actually kind of a deterrent to picking Lara or Samus since they get pretty upset if they see them.

You've got a pretty decent shot off sleeping with one of the nus if you roll Dante though, he doesn't hate sharing.

Just give her a task that can be completed fast but not too fast. You want Zero suit not bikini or birthday.

Lara or Samus and DK.
Everyone else attracts too much trouble, especially Kirby and Dante.

ANYTHING BUT KIRBY, THAT FUCKER WILL EAT ME OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME

The Boss so I can become a badass mercenary.

SOUPS

Samus and Kirby are the only sane answers. Would have to go with Samus though, for obvious reasons.

>not already being like Wario

>Kirby
>sane answer

Do you have infinite food, user?

I feel like the Boss would force me to get my life on track.

Like the mom I never had.

Realistically, Boss.
If I wasn't such a beta bitch, Samus.

he can handle himself. Besides, he can do pest control by eating the bugs.

All seem like a huge hassle or annoyance but Samus since she will be on missions most of the time anyways


So Samus

Duke of course.

Probally have parties every night and bring bitches over, maybe even let me have his seconds.

The boss

Maybe she can help me lose weight and encourage me to be the best at my future job

and then we can both sit on the TV every Saturday Night in our shorts watching Toonami and Boss reveals her Weaboo side

I'm sure Samus would love to watch you blush and squirm from her teasing.

Not him but the point is that he'll eat all of your food. Also decent chance for a deadly freak accident.

ain't she from like the fifties or something?

I need a picture of user forcing Kirby to eat bugs now.

I know, that's why he'll have to prioritize eating bugs over what's in the fridge. Maybe he can even start a business.

>Boss reveals her Weaboo side

>Will constantly bitch and complain about English Dubs while your watching them

Kirby is easily the most dangerous one on that list.

Everyone is a weeaboo in MGS.

The first wave of Anime aired around 1910

your point?

Anyone but Kirby and DK
Kirby will eat me if i don't bring him food, also could go in a rampage and nobody would stop him.
DK because having monkeys on house is illegal

Duke is the only real answer here, all you have to do is make sure you don't run out of bubblegum

The only one with no negatives is Duke

The worst that can happen is that you find the room filled with Babes

couldn't stuff on Toonami weird her out though? War (anime) has changed and what not.

Kirby would make a good wingman.

I'd like to hear an explanation for that, and it better be good.

It's fucking Anime

It's meant to be unrealistic

DK would probably be a total bro but he'd smell. Kirby would be cool but I'd go broke trying to feed him. Wario would constantly steal my money. I'm not cool enough to live with Duke, likewise for Dante. Don't think any of the others would be quality roommates.

I'd take Mr. Brouzouf and try to get cool cyber implants and magic.

Kirby
>Pros:
>Polite
>Cute
>Doesn't take up much space
>Cons:
>Will eat you out of house and home
>Will straight up murder you if you touch his food

Samus:
>Pros:
>Quiet
>Will show you all her cool alien tech
>Good with pets
>Cons:
>Will Shinespark through the front door because she forgot her keys
>Won't stop sending you pics of cute baby animals
>Won't use the vacuum cleaner unless you give her the authorization to do so

Dante:
>Pros:
>Likes all the same games you do
>Always treats you to dinner
>Never a dull moment when he's around
>Cons:
>Will trash the house
>Never does any chores, leaves pizza boxes everywhere
>Demons keep breaking into the house to kill him

D O U K
O
U
K

Samus would be cool. Dante, DK, and Dick Kickem are too crazy for me. The Boss and Lara are tough and cold. I don't know enough about the EYE guy or the sprite dude. Kirby would eat everything and Wario would make you house stink. JC Denton would result in your house being bugged.

The Boss, I need someone to scold and beat the fuck out of me until I get my shit together.

You'll get none with that attitude.

>>Won't use the vacuum cleaner unless you give her the authorization to do so

>le wario is le ebin fartman xd

If anything you would become rich thanks to him, getting to use some of that money yourself may be a bit of a problem though.

>Lara
there is a slight chance to fug her, she is also very cool.
>Dante
A bro, but I don't want demons and the apocalypse in my house, so no.
>Wario
WA-! NO!.
>Samus
She will be too busy hunting space pyrats and shit, amazonian sex maybe?
>Kirby
cute, soft, pink, cool and nice, but I will run out of food.
>The boss
Same as Samus less the amazonian sex, CQC training would be nice tho.
>Duke
hookers, smoke and alcohol all over the place, no.
>DK
No, it is just a dirty monkey.

Even ignoring that it's pretty well established at this point that Wario is lazy, rude, and kind of nasty, and he's much too selfish to ever consider helping someone else get rich. He's possibly the worst choice among all the ones in the OP.

Mm abuelita's hot chocolate is good stuff.

They're also the most obvious choice because they're the most likely to clean up after themselves.

>Not wanting to gain brouzouf, have your legs be ok, and purge Jians.

Donkey Kong. I'd ride on his back everywhere like Cranky.

Kirby, he's cute, even if he'll eat all my food.

absolutely

Boss

maybe she could teach me CQC

As long as she pays rent, Samus Aran, maybe she'd show me a thing or two about Chozo martial arts and work out with me. Maybe I clould try on her power armor, too.

>mfw no one recognizes my nigga Gary

SOUPS ON!

Most of them would be really awkward to live with. I'll play it safe and choose Wario, he's "working" for his company or treasaure hunting most of the time and is rich as fuck.