Wooden sword

>wooden sword
>looks and clangs like steel

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>Rat drops armors and gold.

They ate adventurers

>narrator decides to skip mentioning loot in enemies

>Eat roast chicken to regain health

>starting weapon is a sharp realistic weapon
>ultimate weapon is blunt cartoonish weapon
>the blunt weapon can still slice

name literally one game that does this

>high level armor shows more skin than not wearing any armor at all

Legend of Zelda series. In most of them, you start with a wooden sword and move your way towards the master sword.

>Wants boring realistic shit as endgame stuff

Fuck off.

>roast chicken is found in a wall, or in the fucking garbage

>attack with melee weapon
>makes bullet impact noises

>game starts with using a wooden sword and struggling to fight giant rats
>game ends with you using weapons affiliated with divine beings and you slaying the mete-physical god of that universe.

Its is literally the best feeling ever.

>getting this mad over video games

Autism

>the starting weapon is a crafting material in the strongest weapon of the game

Screw you mate, games like Mount & Blade and Demon's Souls are the tits.

>in ancient crypt
>all the milk are still candles

>Game starts with using iron weapons against bandits
>Game ends with using demonic weapons against bandits

Thanks level scaling.

>game ends with using demonic weapons against bandits with demonic weapons

?

Fuck, this is why I never get rid of starting weapons or armor. I hate it.

>find a hamburger in the garbage
>eat it

>hit opponent with sword
>they stumble back like they got him with a blunt object

>Collect 5 wolf paws
>500 wolves later only 9 found so far
>Somehow my character managed to grind and destroy 991 paws to the point they cant be used

>hit wall with sword
>leaves bullet hole

LOZ wooden swords always had wooden properties though. TP's come to mind and it sounded and looked like a wooden sword. It even had a "THWACKING" sound as opposed to slicing

>female characters with unrealistically body proportions without the use of special clothing

STOP IT

It makes me self-conscious of my trans girlfriend because she doesn't have 36DD tits and a 15 inch waist

Probably because boys aren't supposed to have those proportions

It's not real, user.

>the shop of a late game famer town has better gear than the empire capitol city just because you get there later.

>Narrator in a video game

>hit wall with melee weapon
>bullet hole texture appears

>monsters don't drop money
>just meat
>meat is currency

>buy magical weapons that are among the strongest in universe at the time from the hub town vendor

>Hit wall with fists
>bullet hole

>all the milk are still candles
what the fuck am I reading

Well obviously the vendor can't wield them. Either because they don't have the required stats or because the Vendor class has a very limited pool of weapons.

>narrator notes you're just swinging around wildly for no reason

>final room in a dungeon
>you open it with 4 special stones found in the dungeon and somehow the main villain got there first

But I'm referring to the hub town being a basically normal city in terms of citizens. You being the only person to be any market for them.

>going through the story
>NPC asks if you will do mission to advance story
>say no
>still forced to do it anyway

CHOICES!

Fucking starbound

>narrator is just foolin'

>Game has crafting classes.
>On defeat, Boss falls to the floor and coughs up a pristine and perfectly fitted set of armor that auto-scales to whatever race the beneficiary is.

Why even have crafting classes?

>wolves have 2 legs

They're only useful in MMOs where you can craft consumables or moderately useful gear to sell to other players.

Alternatively
>get offered mission that is protrayed as extremely urgent and crucial
>decline it
>go off exploring and doing side quests for multiple in game days or weeks
>play for several actual hours or days
>basically play the entirety of the game besides the story
>go back and do that one mission finally
>absolutely no consequences

>wolves hunt in packs!

>bomb explodes on ground
>ground stays clean

Well clearly the Vendor picked the right trade, because you'll piss more gold onto him for a sword than other shopkeepers will see in their lives.

What are some good games with narrators?
I can only think of Bastion and kind of Transistor I guess.

Well, yeah that's true I guess.
So I figure this vendor probably went on some amazing fucking quests finding these weapons to sell to you.
He or perhaps his brother is some badass treasure hunter.

Battleblock theater.
Though that person only narrates inbetween levels or something.

Guys, get this. What if video games... weren't like real life!

>throw grenade into room with lots of objects
>nothing moves

The Bards Tale has one of my favorite Narrators ever

>bomb explodes on ground
>ground just has black residue and is otherwise completely undamaged
>dirt is not scattered
>wood not splintered
>grass not fucking gone
>just black residue

>re4
>birds drop ammo

Madworld.

youtube.com/watch?v=lck__GLpPS4

Aught, Arisen!
>AUGHT

underrated

Werewolves user.

>MC starts game with legendary weapon that becomes outclassed by later generic stuff
>near the end of the game, legendary weapon gets powered up to become endgame worthy

>Narrator has dialogue for when you spin around in circles

>Advanced laser sword
>Sounds like a baseball bat hitting on a wooden plank

>mountain sized monster crushes armored tanks like ants
>MC can block a swipe with his sword and come out unscathed

I know video games are realistic but sometimes this shit can be nuts.

It is the best feeling. Pretty much running around with Thunder punches 1 shotting everything that looks at me funny.

Darkest Dungeon

This

>you can optionally unlock the weapon's potential via ritual
>the ritual is a psychological thing where you face the last worthy wielder of the weapon in a duel to the death
>if you die you really die, game over
>if you win the weapon acknowledges you and it's arguably the best weapon in the game, save very specific exceptions (and even then, it's still at least good)

Good bait

>narrator constantly berates the main character

>playing MMO
>Enchanted Godslaying sword of Darkness and Misery +5 drops in endgame raid
>next expansion
>vendor trash in new hub city has better stats

>real stuff
>boring
Real medieval war gear was fucking rad

>boss is five times the MC's size
>wack its shins for five minutes until it dies

Either I hate this because Shadow of the Colossus is my favorite game or Shadow of the Colossus is my favorite game because I hate this.

>wooden sword made with iron bark
>looks and clangs like steel

Portrait of Ruin was the tits.

HOW QUICKLY THE TIDE TURNS

Dragon's Crown

>Punch wall
>Take damage

>Punch wall
>Opens to secret passage/area

>chased by enemy
>die because you can't hurdle over an ankle high obstacle

Silent Hill

Stanley Parable

>george didn't narrate it himself in jap version
WHAT A FUCKING MISSED OPPORTUNITY

name one game that does this

Stanley Parable

>Giantics boss larger than a skyscraper
>Fight it on a platform at chest level and only its head and arms are animated

This shit pisses me off in any instance.
>MC-chansankun you need the super secret mcdingles to get into this super sealed place. IT'S THE ONLY WAY!
>"HAHAHA TOO LATE! I, THE VILLAIN, MCBADGUY, GOT HERE FIRST!"
>didn't run in front of you
>didn't teleport in
>just fucking standing there, for who knows how long, waiting to give his speech before he does "the thing he shouldn't do"
Fuck this goddamn shit.
At least have the fucker shoot me in the back or something THEN walk in to the super sealed place. Then it makes some sort of sense.

Deus Ex.

...

Man i haven't thought about kol in years

>>if you die you really die, game over
This didn't happen.
Well, at least it didn't in PoR.
You just get knocked back to reality and can try again.

waw never saw that line anywhere else

Found super heal potion in dungeon no one is suppose to go
The innkeeper now has the potion in stock

Name one game that does this.

You don't know how weapon works, do you.

Name one game.

Name one game.

Half Life 2