Work as a programmer

>work as a programmer
>doesn't even know how to run anti-virus program
What the fuck?

I believe that's the joke.

>be cook
>be able to cook over a hundred different meals
>can't cook one specific meal a friend wants
>friend can't believe it
>loses his shit and doesn't believe I'm a cook
>mfw

you would be amazed how dumb some of these guys can be while still holding their position
rockstar would know

The analogy would work if you couldn't cook something basic like fried eggs.

Its a commentary on facebook and googles retarded hiring policies.

It was something basic. I wont say what, because I'd be shamed for it. But yeah, I never had to cook this meal in my workplace.

There was some user here with the same predicament..
I remember lots of guys in the thread gave him shit for it

uh cause that's gay sysadmin shit?

>silicon valley

Yeah, but he does have a sick air guitar, so...

>tfw finally qualify to be certified electrical engineer
>got to go to New York and get an interview and most likely getting the job
>before i leave the building some guys i knew from an earlier visit to the company stops me and asks me to help them set up a FUCKING ROUTER
>they're all MIT grads

I'm convinced that people born rich are meme humans, holy shit.

>wear bigfoot t-shirt
>however, the text below the image clearly reads 'YETI'
>bigfoot is not a yeti
this is some next-level shit. i'm not smart enough for this game

THAT'S THE JO-- AH SAY THAT'S THE JOKE SON. YA MISSED IT. FLEW RIGHT BY YA.

>Be cook at a 4 star restaurant
>Cook for all kind of people
>go home
>demand wife to cook for me, like the tradition demands, even if she sucks at it

>be a programmer
>work at shitty apple-esq company
>download a shit ton of viruses on purpose
>lol call the IT guy
>go out for smoke and take extra breaks

In my school (comp science engineer), most of the guy I study wouldn't be able to change a lightbulb.
The school has to force all of us into mendatory meaningless work experience with shitty pay because some of the fuckers I see everyday never worked a day in their life.

AAAAH
AAAAAAAAH
AAAAAAAAA

>hoist pc case onto desk
>remove rear case screws and side access panel
>select random cable and cut with scissors, taping the cut ends together
>replace access panel and screws
>call IT plebe, demanding help with business-critical 'computer not work' issue
>send follow-up ticket copying in department head with !!!EXCLAMATION MARKS AND CAPS LOCK!!!
>sit back and start timer

>end up being a millionaire by assisting the guy who murdered your boss in at least 3 heists

>Be straight
>Find women really sexy
>Love dominating them and squirters
>Suck random trap dick and bang their boipucci though

user you fucking idiot that was a test and part of the interview process. How dense are you?

Programmer =/= sysadmin, although both overlap often. At my uni in the CS department, you'd see fuckers using internet explorer with Norton and shit not knowing how to do extremely basic things on their PC.

>A test
Explain how they didn't understand how to set up a VPN 3 days later.

>asks me to help them set up a FUCKING ROUTER
are they idiots? you literally plug it in and route shit. sometimes shit doens't route nice. sometimes you have to set up topologies or other shit. at a basic level, it's not hard and if it's one router they probably have everything else already setup p much

goddamn.

For what purpose?

>Get this PC from some asshole
>Really impatient, thinks his shit is more important than everyone else's
>Open it up
>Stupid asshole cut the cables and taped them together
>Send my supervisor an email about this employee destroying company property to get out of working

>using rich
>ever

Lmfao

>i come open up the case
>see the tape
>why did you cut the cable user

or

>see that ticket reads business-critical 'computer not work' issue
>is it someone important
>no
>do nothing

They wanted to use a specific company DNS because that's what they needed to set up for the office computers. They didn't know where to find that sort of information.

A programmer is not supposed to know how to run an anti-virus program. I never used an anti-virus and I've been working as a programmer for 11 years.

>because I'd be shamed for it
Nigga, you're in an anonymous image board.
Just spill the fucking bean.

>Has been using computers for 1/10th of his life
>Doesn't get the most basic shit down yet
Why.

Because it works perfectly well without antivirus.

Really, a fucking DNS server ?

It's not apart of the job so some of them don't give a shit to learn it.

A programmer should be able to know how to use fucking google and youtube though.

It's been a long time since I set up any kind of business router with IOS or something, but I'm pretty fucking certain that's ezpz and googleable without needing to get a candidate to do that shit for you.

Welp. Of course he should. But that's not his job to install antivirus for you. If telling you that he doesn't know how to and can't learn will get you to fuck off, then that's the most rational approach.

You run into it all the time from the director/upper management level all the way down.

If it's literally not part of their job even though it's something they use the majority of their lives they do not care. I have to deal with people who don't even know what or where their start button is.

If it's not an icon on their desktop it literally does not exist on that computer to them. A common call is 'my internet got delete can you come install it back' or something similar. All that it means if that the icon got removed from the desktop. Even though it will still be on the quick launch bar.

I'd like to add these were MIT kids that were just hired too.
I don't want to be that "go-to guy" that has to teach the basics.

>I'd like to add these were MIT kids that were just hired too.
>They don't even know how to use google
>Have to get somebody entirely unrelated to help them
>Meanwhile, I haven't had an IT job in a year, and the last place I submitted to told me my last experience is too old

Which company, user? If these fucks are getting hired, I don't see how I couldn't be.

Doctors doesnt know how to get blood from you either, thats simply not his job. They dont teach that , nurses do that job.

yeah he could learn that stuff .

Linus Torvalds the creator of Linux can't even install Debian because it's too complicated for him.

/thread

Exactly.

I've had both sysadmin and coding jobs during my lifetime, and you can easily be ignorant to 80% of what computers offer, unless you diligently ask questions and watch people at work.

Otherwise it doesn't surprise me one bit.

those who can, put their skills to work in real jobs
those who can't, get really really angry about their job resetting passwords for people who earn more than them

Now now, I think we can all agree that moot betrayed us, but I wouldn't call him retarded

>food analogies
Every.Time.

Calling it now, he cant cook beans on toast or maybe french toast.

food analogies are like car analogies. also i'm a 200lb manchild who has a 'regular order' at subway and doesn't have a driving licence

Fine then faggot. It was spaghetti Carbonara.

>he can't carbonate spaghetti

>food analogies
This post was written by a fat, lonely cuck who needs to be put down like an ill dog and then have his ripped off head thoroughly raped by a pack of dogs, bears and 2 niggers.

Na man, he cant make carbon into spagetti. I learned that in Pol 101.

what exactly was the joke sir

...

Did you seriously just make an analogy-analogy?

>posts mfw
>doesn't post his face when

>what exactly was the joke sir

This:
>work as a programmer
>doesn't even know how to run anti-virus program
Try to keep up with the conversation and think before you post.

>ITT people discover that meme companies like Google and Facebook hire based on nepotism and not merit/potential/value/quality

What a shocker. Funny how people tell you that your major matters when everyone with connections get to industries that isn't their forte. History majors in tech, English majors in finance, etc

Has that been doctored or is he really that retarded?

Programmers don't use windows. Our computer science courses force us to use linux. It's the first thing they tought us in programming classes.

>not aiming for gold

i wish gta v had more of this sorta stuff.

I feel like the game was cut incredibly short to shoehorn in all the mmo 'online' crap

That's silly.

>waa waa I'm still unemployed!!

That's not really a universal truth. It's true that Linux is convenient for a lot of things but when it comes to programming e.g. video games the tools are mostly for Windows. Both the Xbox One and PS4 debugger and such are for Visual Studio for example. The only real problem with Windows for programming is a lack of package management, but it's not like your school is going to let you manage their packages anyway.

Eh, It could have been something worse, really
Unless you live in Italy like me, then you are expected to know that shit man

He makes up for it by being the best hacker to use.

Are you blind? She's a woman

> but when it comes to programming e.g. video games the tools are mostly for Windows

Literally the only thing worth a shit is Visual Studio. And it depends entirely on what platforms you're targeting and what tools you need. If platform dependence wasn't an issue and it was about preference, I would put money on the vast majority of programmers preferring a Unix system.

no

How one wipe a PSU?

He's right tho. It's pretty much impossible to be unemployed if you have social connections.

It's like an alien mimicking human movement

I'm not even sure if this is a satire, because that's the reality

>meme companies like Google and Facebook
More like every company ever.

That's not Bigfoot.
That't BAPE reference.

Exactly like in real life. Maybe 5 is less of a satire than we believe.

Are 'murkan programmers really this horrible or is it just a maymay?

Programmers in general aren't as "wizard-esque" as they seem.

"Basic shit" would be knowing how to prevent viruses without the aid of an antivirus program.

>Windows

You do know most programmers and tech people in the US are imported Indians?

This is so true.
Its all
>I'm going to learn what I'm going to do and then do that exclusively
Honestly part of me hates programmers because half of the ones I know love to brag about their jobs being lazy as possible. They say this forgetting that they don't have major life skills

>major life skills

>be a cook
>can't cook

Poland here and I know quite a bit.
Maybe not wizards, but most are competent enough that they can do any simple job you would expect from someone working with computers.
Are they regular-lazy or programmer-lazy?
Being creatively lazy is often more mental effort than just not doing things. For example, setting up a script to do all day's worth of data parsing then sitting on your ass, fapping to well done job.

>Doctors doesnt know how to get blood from you either, thats simply not his job. They dont teach that , nurses do that job.
Doctors know how to take blood samples from patients you retard. They have to supervise the nurses, and its hardly a very complex medical procedure.

You literally just throw a an egg and some parmesan into the pasta after frying some pancetta. Maybe add some nutmeg. What the fuck bro.