What kind of crazy shit have your dwarves been up to?

What kind of crazy shit have your dwarves been up to?

Well as giant cave spider tried to bully a sleeping kid and the kids beat it up until it ran away

And then a troll came and smashed all my doors then left

2cat lmao

How do you enjoy this game if you're not autistic?

Had a forgotten beast grab and lightly punch a miner for a while all while my hammer squad was working on smashing the fuck out of his thick shell.

Miner didn't even die, it was just weird seeing it totally ignore the squad fucking him up to beat up this one miner.

Where do you think you are?

autism required

>not autistic
huh???

Its been ages since I've played, but my last fort had such moments as
>Attacked by a Stone Unicorn Titan that radiated Hope. I just left it outside, it was pretty chill.
>Attacked by a Humanoid made of Fire Forgoten Beast in Cavern Layer, it stood around in the underground lake for 2 years generating steam. When it finally attacked it died to one punch from a malitia man to the head
>Attacked by a Flying Salt Blob that exploded on 5 of my malitia men after one hit, which then made them all melt

I should play Dorf Fort again.

I stopped playing three days ago. I keep wanting to reset the levels of my fort because their layout is a mess. It sucks, so I'm taking a small break. I've never been good at design though

I fucking hate migrants. I finally finish bedrooms for all my civilians, and then a migrant wave of worthless soap makers arrives, doubling my pop.

Unrelated, who else likes making mostly single level fortresses? I tend to make all of my stuff on one level and then make the design"organic" rather than totally optimized and planned.

Nothing, because I don't play this game because I feel like I'm too stupid for it.

...

You can make very simple condensed bedrooms to save time. The style I like holds 6 per floor, takes no time to mine out, and is small enough that they have no trouble getting to their beds. Basically I mine a 1x3 staircase, then diagonally out of the four corners mine a 2x2 square. Out of the middle stair, mine up 4. When it's done you'll have 6 rooms with 3 spaces for bed, storage, etc, and 1 for the door.
I know that feel, but it's really not that bad. You can definitely learn it if you put your mind to it

Mine up 4 on either side of the middle stair, my bad

Dying of hunger because the elves left me hanging, because my appraiser died and I don't know how to pick fruits from trees. Also a fucking wereelk fucked up all my godtier miners and left one with lycanthropy.

your own fault for dealing with knife ears, user

You can designate a zone (i) as a gathering spot. If you have a stepladder laying around your dwarves will periodically gather from trees in that area that have fruit. They'll also gather plants from it, I believe

>the carp stands up

Has anyone played Rimworld? How does it compare to DF?

This was my best fort, it's economy was kickstarted by shellcrafts, by fishing thousands of mussels to endangerment.

Its like a shitty 1 level dorf fort with stolen graphics and guns.
It compares by saying "Rimworld is like babies first dorf fort"

...

it has graphics and a UI though

And? That doesn't automatically make it good

>How do you eat without food
>how do you drive without a car
>How do you watch PS4 games without a PS4
????

Like I said, Babies First Dorf Fort
Its for people who think that Dorf Fort is somehow bad because it doesn't have "Real Graphics" and or complicated to use.

>watch

There is a difference between a game having "real graphics" and a game having any graphics whatsoever

I fucking hate this board. Can't have a single thread about this game without devolving into graphics shit posting.

autism is a necessity

Solving a mystery. I started with a bunch of cats because cats are the backbone of a good economy. By summer, all but three of my cats were missing. I puzzled over it for while, loosing kittens and started loosing other animals.
Turns out, there was a small waterfall that all of the animals decided they would path over, and they would fall about 6 levels and die on the landing. I walled it off, which stopped most of the animals, but not the cats for some reason. I spent the rest of the year trying to figure out how to get the cats to stay out, then winter came, and I had been so engrossed in the cats that everyone died of dehydration when the river froze.

There is no graphics shitposting.

Dwarf Fortress doesn't have any graphics you could shitpost about.

You do realize that it takes about five minutes to give DF "real graphics", right? You can give it whatever graphics you want.

I decided to build a circular keep above ground, then some walls to have a protected courtyard to farm and trade. The keep made one corner of my walled courtyard.

Of course what good are walls without a moat, so that came next. By this point my keep was 5 stories high and my walls 4, but it was completely empty. I decided to move my barracks onto the first few floors of the keep so that they were in the perfect location to repel invasions. Little did I know of the glitch that occurs during sparring if one Dwarf lunges at another, they can 'teleport' through a single layer thick wall.
I didn't realise until 6 of my best fighters in full steel armor swam like bricks.

I'm on a map with very little iron ore too so losing 6 sets of steel armor is a huge deal. Currently draining the moat to retrieve it.

The lazy newb packs 'graphics' tab would like to have a word with you.

That doesn't count :^)

>Currently draining the moat to retrieve it.
Thanks for the laugh user.

You dont

I know right?
>Game doesn't have graphics
>But you're wrong, here's graphics
It's like that user didn't even bother looking into the game and just shitposts because he can

You did it, user. You won.

It's because normies hear the amazing tales that come from df think they want in on that then see the ascii and nope out. To be fair df would be way more popular if it looked like a modern rts.

DELETE THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Even the vanilla ASCII graphics count as graphics

Guys, the smiley face indicates a joke. That's not the user that's complaining about graphics

>creativity and dedication to creating a story for yourself and for others to read and enjoy is considered autism

I actually enjoy Rimworld

and DF

What am I?

>read about all the cool stuff happening in these threads
>download it for the second time
>quit after a few minutes because wtf I press ta shoot nigga?

Should i try this game if i never played a game like this before?

I played Banished for a very short time is that enough so i can get into this game?

Dying of dehydration :(

DEY ALL CHINESE NIGGA

Someone who can enjoy a game even if it's similar to another game
Read the wiki, watch a tutorial, stop by dfg for help
Follow a tutorial anyways

VAI (Very Autistic Individual)

I think everyone should at least try this game, but It does have quite a big learning curve, I'd say.

>Forgotten Beast destroy my entire almost legendary militia
>Random miner accidentally puncture an artery of the FB while trying to run away
>FB die
>Miner get killed by undead militia
How is this allowed?

>adventure time
>learn the location of some titans and other beasts
>recruit a swordman and crossbowman and set off
>first faggot: a giant serpent
>xbow fires a shot while we close the distance
>hits the head, killing it instantly
>whatever on to the next
>crab made of fire
>xbow fires a shot while we close in
>dies instantly because it's made of fire
>whatever that was expected
>next target: a dragon
>xbow doesn't kill it instantly for once
>wound the shit out of him
>basically dead, we're just pounding on him
>xbow runs out of bolts and charges in
>hits the dragon in the head with his crossbow, shattering his skull and killing it

are you triggered?

>chain up some guard dogs near my entrance over the drawbridge
>under the drawbridge is a fall down a few levels into a pit of spikes
>goblins arrive and get onto the drawbridge, so I pull the lever and they fall down
>all goblins die on impact but I notice something's off
>one of the dogs is missing
>the dog fell down too
>it's heavily injured, most of its bones are broken and it's lapsing in and out of consciousness
>immediately have my dorfs dig into the pit to rescue the dog
>a dorf nonchalantly pulls the dog off of the spikes and drags it back upstairs to chain it up again
>the dog gives birth

Why would I be triggered?
Which one is your self insert?

Can animals breed in cages now?
I'm sure I read on the wiki that they can't.

I've had all my female dogs locked up in cages for a few years now and occasionally one still gives birth

If I remember right they shouldn't breed if they can't access eachother. They don't do it by spores anymore, they have to be in the same room so they can get it on.

What's weird is I'm pretty sure they still don't breed in cages. Maybe try locking them in a room?

I was told that before too. Where do I find the stepladder

Usually you get one at the beginning of a fort (unless you remove it or a kea steal it)

Else you can make them in the carpenter workshop.

50PB7-RHVQI-PR3I3

thanks brosef

I hate those damn birds. Seriously. At least with the monkeys they don't fly away. Those kea stole all of my bolts so I couldn't even shoot them anymore

The worst part is that the only thing affected by the weight of what they steal are their movement speed
>Kea steal lead statue
>Manage to fly 2 unit on the Z-axis
>Militia - Can't reach target

Really annoying, specially since they hunt the most expensive stuff and a flock managed to raid my adamantine vault.

...

Will the newer version run on a toaster?

2MX2J-XPY43-4N5W2

Are they affected by traps and such? The fact that they get inside into a vault has me thinking they're kolbolds in bird form, and they should be killed on sight

What was it?

I don't like blindly adding keys to my steam library, if it's a game I don't really want it makes me feel like I stole something away from someone who might have really enjoyed it

Day of the tentacle remastered.

They are affected by anything on the square they stand on, including traps, even if they are in flying stat.

It's better to have a roof over all their exit roads as they will try to gain altitude as soon as they can and once they are in the air, your dwarves will be too dumb to find a path.

The other game was Titan Souls.

Thanks for satisfying my curiosity

This one is still up if you want it, it's a classic.

Thank you user, but my backlog is too large already

I'll play it one day but I would like to get everything else off my plate first

Man it's been like six years since the last time I played DF. I should fuck around with it after the next big update.

Good time to hop on this one, really. If you wait for the next big update, you'll have to wait the month or two while the release bugs are ironed out and you may lose interest by then.

Yeah maybe. Gonna have to basically relearn everything at this point either way.

>giant tiger dies of old age before it could even attack you

Does anyone know what Dorf Fort uses as its libraries? Is it just strictly in OpenGL? Does it use libtcod?