Hey Sup Forums.
I have to write an in depth analysis of a short story for a college class.
It was supposed to be a practice in characterization and storytelling. It is actual fanfiction.
This girl sent her shitty fanfic out to an entire class.
You guys want me to show you what I have to deal with?
no
...
you sure? It'll change the way you think about college education.
>Gun
>not Bang
This always annoyed me
Only if it's an essay on video games.
Do you want to potentially incriminate yourself?
Instead of asking, just post it. If you get no replies then you know people aren't interested.
Goddamn OP, do you need a permission form filled out too?
sure
Well, good news. It is.
new.myairbridge.com
there is no way this is college level, you are bullshitting us, get the fuck out of here underageb&
download, I aint clicking that shit, if it's not a virus why is it not in pastebin
The fuck is this, pastebin it you nigger.
Pastebin that shit or post it here man. You now how jumpy people get about links that literally say download in it.
What the hell college is this and what is the course title?
Fucking rip it apart in your analysis, user.
>that pose
Jojo reference?
is this some sort of autistic college for retarded kids?
>"Just what do you think you are doing here, plumber face?”
What did he mean by this
Well ain't that something. Any class I took would've thrown that out the window, if anything for punctuation misuse alone. If that gets anything above a C then you genuinely need to consider other educational options.
well this person surely failed so...
>Ogville Maurice the Hedgehog
post this girl's face, because there is no way someone at college could type this and think it was alright
This meme fucking sucks. It's as unfunny as doge
>Though they were all scared, they summoned the courage and began checking out that hedgehog.
>It's as unfun
Nice JoJo quote.
I seriously hope that girl did not self-insert her real name into this, because her place of work listed in there is a real thing.
I like this meme
Does she smell bad and wear fingerless gloves? Holy shit this is bad
the teacher is french immigrant, bergenstock wearing vegan, so i'm sure she'll give it an A.
Intro to Creative Writing. Commuter college.
I am extremely disappointed that this run on sentence of a story was submitted with any kind of seriousness. There is no plotline, no character depth, and no stakes. The entire story reads like something found in the notebook of a bored child, and is not of the caliber I expect of a college aged adult, much less a current student.
perhaps it sucking is the point, teach is checking how much you can dig into absolute shit.
She's black, and talks in a tone somewhere between James Earl Jones having a stubborn shit and a cow mooing. She's not even fat.
Her name isn't there. The professor made us use a character SHE, the professor, made up. I even have a character sheet for Jasmine that I had to refer to.
This.
Also pokemon.
Also, just wanted to add, this is the same girl that tried to start an argument in class over whether or not David Bowie had the nickname 'Tall White Duke".
If you think this is bad, try to picture what I had to go through when she read poetry in front of the class.
This class has been a fucking joke, so it feels good to know others understand me.
autism in its purest form
>The professor made us use a character SHE, the professor, made up
That is somewhat relieving, but also quite strange. Can you post a pic of the character sheet?
You got it, champ.
Jesus christ demand a refund.
>college level paper has to define the word Yearning
I'm a highschool drop out, and this concerns me.
Thank fucking christ this is my last semester. I'm never going back to school.
Holy shit, this reads like fucking satire.
>Dress: natural fibers, recycled materials
>running and yoga
>vegetarian
>smokes pot
>green tea
>likes to paint bright colors on her lovers' skin
I don't understand this picture
>>green tea
Yes?
Keep in mind, she is being PAID MONEY to teach us. This is the work of a 53 year old professor.
I'm not too sure what I'm reading but it certainly makes me feel better about my own works.
I read the whole thing.
Jesus.
It's just so incoherent and it just rambles on
You guys like how Tails gets stabbed to death and Robitnik drowns, yet no one cares?
public """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""education"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" system.
>Her cats are named cat.
>Custom named sonic character.
>Adding stuttering for no reason.
That's all I read. Internet fanfiction tier. The kind of stuff you don't want associated with your real name.
That has to be a real person
>Story telling
>Using present tense
>Got shat on for a theoretical review paper today in class
>Worked my ass off to revise it, took an all-nighter, got a single point more than original
>See this thread
I guess it could always be worse. Thanks for that OP, made me feel a little better.
>“It’s extremely important that we all know what each other does for a living just so we can possibly visit each other’s jobs and get a fill for what it is like to live as that one person”, says Princess Zelda.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Is this a fucking joke?
Are you fucking kidding me?
That's incredible. The only 'writing' class I know about on a collegiate level is one where you have to write a short story about two people in a room with a dead body, and it has to be clear that there's a dead body by the end, but you're not allowed to ever actually talk about the dead body or describe it at all.
Pretty cool challenge.
...
You guys have to keep in mind that this is an elective class fo ra community college where remedial English classes are probably easier than the local high school's.
I'm not saying she should pass for turning in this drivel or that the professor can teach at all, but this shit should surprise no one. I'm a high school English teacher in a low income area right next to a community college. I would not be surprised if this class existed at the school nearby.
It's very important to shoehorn the required character information as bullet points and not through story telling
Make sure Jasmine dies at the end.
>“Nope, we are all ready. In fact, we were born ready, hedgehog”, says Jasmine.
>“Please stop calling me that, it’s just a costume”, says Sonic.
>“Lies”, says Mario.
>B-but it's necessary for a functional democratic society
Reminder that democracy is a scam run by shadow cabals, mobsters and agencies; education should be private only.
Kids should be allowed employment if close relatives own business
>better get brainwashed for a decade in common core than to become a worthy successor of your family bakery or whatever
Give her hell user, rip and tear if you get the chance.
Scorched earth, no Russian, objective: survive, Dante must die
Guest Starring: SKULLS parasite unit, Not Important
>education should be private only
Nope, don't agree with you there boyo. You're retarded.
>Weaknesses: attracted to narcissistic and artistic people.
So her weakness is a flaw other people have?
And why is the professor allowed to do this shit? She has a job teaching other people?
I write better shit in my spare time.
>witty
Also, why do americans think that being a sarcastic cunt all the time is a good trait?
>Dress: natural fibers, recycled materials
>Obsessions: colors
>Politics: Liberal
>Diet: Vegetarian
>Drugs: smokes pot
jesus christ can you be more stereotypi- woah hold on there, one of these is not like the others:
>Favorite alcohol: dry martini
So the professor gave her a drink that is stereotypical for businessmen and stockbrokers
Shit, write a story about how she secretly desires to work on Wall St hosing down poor people with subprime mortgages, but feels she must blend in with her peers with her ambition to become a "graphic designer".
Climax of the story is when she really comes out to her friends and admits she wants to get into banking.
>implying you don't hire additional tutors for your child
>Implying that shouldn't be the go-to method from the start
>Also, why do americans think that being a sarcastic cunt all the time is a good trait?
That would be the British and Australians, user. We thing being an uneducated dumbass is a good trait.
10 minutes for reading shit that I can't get back.
>education should be private only.
The problem is that all private schools end up owned by organizations. Then you get brainwashed anyway.
For example, about 90% of the private schools where I live are christian.
Oh No
oh no
Considering what the public education system is tasked with legally, it actually does a decent job. Reform needs to allow/account for failure and difference in natural cognitive abilities. There needs to be a greater emphasis on life skills. These things will never happen because it's political suicide to call children stupid, even in a realistic, nice way.
Yeah, I was memeing as usual.
No, it shouldn't. That's retarded.
Thanks user, I was putting off my analysis paper to shitpost on Sup Forums but seeing this trainwreck has motivated me to do a good job on my own writing.
Would you like to see?
It's free, so it's fine to waste time with learning shit at sub-par pace or learning downright useless info.
It's a problem only if even the private schools are forced to obey the curriculum, missing the point.
wew lad
They get paid off to obey the curriculum, ya dingus. Or they're retards and do it anyways. I don't think you understand private school retards breed private school retards. The biggest private school near me, Bishop England, is full of utter retards.
OP you obviously go to school in GA so which one? Can't be Perimeter, cause that doesn't exist anymore. Is it Georgia Piedmont?
>tfw every class i sat in at communi i was next to a thicc black girl
Those were the days.
I feel this way about homeschooled kids. It takes a ton of knowledge and effort to not leave huge gaps in homeschooled educations, and every homeschooled person I've ever met is lacking in basic knowledge.
But hey, not everything is bad about the educational system. America (well, Texas in particular, but I think this is a nationwide trend) has realized their foriegn language classes teach zero language skills and are going to be rehauled to require 90% of instruction to be in the desired language. Student responses, worksheets, everything.
Proving my point of tutors being the only way to go. If you want a kid to socialize sign him up to a sports club or some shit.
Alright, there's something that's been bothering me
According to the author, Isle Delfino is slightly north of the Mushroom Kingdom. The mushroom kingdom is by no means a tropical zone. If Isle Delfino is only Slightly north, how the hell is it so tropical? How is a tropical island warmer when you head north? How far south would the Mushroom Kingdom have to be for that to happen? And even if it is, it's only a slight movement north, which is not enough for a major change in flora from Deciduous to Tropical. This author is just choosing random locations with no apparent thought as to how they would work.
Clayton State
I actually touched on that in my analysis of setting.
>“Well, guys, I am a graphic designer at Black Bear Design in Atlanta”, Jasmine states.
>What is the southern hemosphere?
>What is FUCKING NEW ZEALAND AND MICRONESIA
WEW
E
W
...If you're not an expert on teaching or the subject matter, how are you going to judge your kid's knowledge level?
Did you think this through?
Yeah
There's no fucking exposition, things just happen for the sake of happening.
I'm paying an expert to teach my child subjects I'm not able to teach.
Did you assume I'm going to teach everything?
How did you do it?
God dammit.
As someone who's barely beginning the Creative Writing program, not even on the lowest levels of creative writing classes have I stumbled upon something of this shitty magnitude. Sure, I have read stuff that has ranged from I-don't-give-a-shit to just purely unpolished bad stuff, but nothing quite like this.
I wanted to read this and come up with theory and technique critique like I do with with my classmates' works as a learning experience and mockery, but holy shit I didn't expect this garbage. I thought you were fucking joking OP.
Jesus christ how much lack of self-awareness does it take for someone to submit this shit?
Is the autistic girl at least any cute though?
That is fucking cool as shit user. I love writing and I'm thinking of enrolling in a writing class next semester. You got any examples of that assignment you can share?
This is worse than the time that autistic fuck and his ugly chink girlfriend posted
No, you're going to have no method of quality control in this hypothetical society. Standardized tests are made by the government mostly for the public school system buddo.
Citizen Kane spoilers
pastebin.com
Most tutoring companies hire college kids who have no teaching experience and they are wrangled by someone with a teaching cert that most likely doesn't use their cert.
Maybe a lonely silverback mountain ape would pity fuck her. She looks like a gorilla in a wig.
Irrelevant?
Actually, standardized tests are made by a small handful of private companies that lobby/work with the government to be able to make those standardized tests to follow the vague guidelines of state legislators. They make fucking bank and sadly are the ones with the most indirect influence over curriculum, since so much of a school's worth is tied to the damn things.
OP, why isn't your class handing out copies of "Elements of Style" or something?