Nice fireworks nigga

>Nice fireworks nigga

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You had to go so far out of your way to make this happen. More games need shit like this.

>You had to go so far out of your way to make this happen
...you did? I ALWAYS got this result as a kid.
Then again, I ditched the "gurls" after Midgar completely.

Until fairly recently I thought Barrett was the only one that could go on the tram ride.

Trap Cloud and this are going to be hilarious in the remake, as long they don't decide to just remove it of course.

It's gonna get cut or hugely edited down. Trap Cloud is the reason I have homosexual tendencies

>as long they don't decide to just remove it of course

Political correctness is a hell of a drug.

I thought Japan gave zero shits about that kind of stuff.

>get pink wig for cloud
>blatantly play into the lightning is female cloud joke
They have to make this happen. Shit would be 10/10 funny

GAY

Are you guys joking? I've always got Aeris. I did a play through and tried to get anyone else. I constantly shit on Aeris. Still got her.

>Trap Cloud and this are going to be hilarious in the remake,

Tonally it will come off as totally weird.

FF7 exists in some kind of anime universe. That humor fits it well. It's colorful, serious at times, but light hearted at others. FF7 remake comes when Square wants to make serious games, with seirous characters, and serious storylines. The world is grey or black, and they aim for a real world look rather than any kind of anime-world.

>this nigga

I'm 100% legit, I beat the game 3 times in the first month back in 97 and got Barret every single fucking time.

Lightning is post-op Cloud. They've got exact same face and build.

>Are you guys joking?
No. I always got Barret.

Areis is the default
Tifa second
Yuffie third
Barret last

It's very unlikely you can get barret unless you're trying

Yeah but with a game of this magnitude, they have to consider some designs acceptable for the west. Kind of like Nintendo of Japan purposely censoring Super Metroid for the west.

>You will never go on a date with Barret

>We got a job to do! I ain't here to watch #@%!&%* fireworks!

>Why this #@$%$ spiky @$$ $^!&@ takin' me on a date fo? $%^^#& foo is what he is

it's not even political correctness, for modern Squeenix it probably takes too much effort to design optional/changeable events that rely on previous conditions.
Like, it was simple enough to change sprites and some text based on dialogue or party member choices but now they would have to render more models and do more voice acting lines or some shit.

>But Barret, you asked me out.

I got Barrett on my first playthrough as a kid. I had no idea how the point system even worked. I ditched the girls because I thought Barrett and Red XIII did more damage. Also I thought girls were icky back then.

They literally couldn't do their job they were stuck in gold saucer at the time. Also he came to YOU. Remember he's a big softy and an emotional dude beneath his rough exterior. He became a dad out of his sense of duty and the power of FRIENDSHIP

Friendship he killed for

>purposely sent cowtits and slumwhore out on their own to fend for themselves

You missed out, user.

Barret and Yuffie are the best because you get long range materia early, allowing you to have a full damage back row team. They're also characters with limit breaks that hit multiple times so you can pump out as many 9999s easily

>Midgar to Kalm
>choose party
>Tifa and Aeris of course
>Barret: "Thought you'd do that"

Girls are icky. Without the curse of libido, you wouldn't touch them with a long stick. They literally ooze blood and snot from a nasty pocket.

>Aeris

I'm still mad

How much did they fix in the Steam version? I'm about a quarter way through it and I've noticed a lot of changes like this.

Censoreship.

I loved the pacing of FF7 and how they were able to sprinkle the lighthearted shit throughout. My biggest gripe in FF6 is pacing and being split up a lot

nothing significant, just minor errors in the original translation

I legitimately just read that as being grammatically wrong.

man ff7 was so good

wait, who are those two on the bottom right?

I always thought this was just a hack or something. You actually can do this legit with Barret? Never was it not Aeris for me.

weeb

mate..

Did they fix the first boss fight with the whole attack while it's tail is up thing?

what was wrong with that?

engrish translation:
Game experience is surreal mysterious journey of wonder and "what did they mean by this? what is a touph ring?"

faithful translation:
oh this was written by programmers bad at stories :/
snoorree

sjw culturalization:
moogles are gender nonbinary and prefer the pronoun xe

How should I play ff7 bueno before the remake? Pc with mods? Or the og ps1 versión?

>attack while it's tail is up
>attack while it is tail is up

Chink, and edgy cape guy.

duh

pc with patched soundtrack (not sure if you still need to do this)

That's the least of its problems, the way the dialogue is worded and cut up is telling you to do exactly the opposite of what it's supposed to do.

the first cut to shinra gq, palmer says something to reeve along the lines of:
>You should flush that along with your other crap
not sure what he says but I know it's different in the rerelease

Also, Rufus says "What a team" instead of "What a crew". And "I guess this means we won't be allies" instead of "I guess this means we won't be friends".

best girl

>wanting to travel with a big, overbearing black man who scolds and swears at you constantly and a smug lion dog who openly admits he'll ditch you
>not wanting to travel with your voluptuous childhood friend and flower qt you just saved from imprisonment

You only get that result if you are a complete ass to everyone else.

IIRC:
>Aeris is the default result, if you don't piss anyone off you get her.
>Tifa is the alternative result. If you haven't been nice to Aeris (ie don't buy her flowers, call her the slum drunk, etc.) you get her.
>Yuffie is the third most likely result. At this point you probably have to actually be trying not to get either of the first two. If you gave all the negative responses to both main girls and recruited Yuffie in time, you get her.
>Barret is the least likely result. You only get him if you failed to qualify for anyone else.

ninja and emo vampire

...

>Midgar to Kalm
>choose party
>Barret and Red of course
>Aeris: "Have fun, boys!"

I usually went with Tifa+Barret though, which doesn't get a special comment from anyone.

I dunno if I even had Yuffie at that point back then. No idea about pissing off / pleasing anybody either. I guess I was still at that "eww, girls!" age when playing it the first time.

>not wanting to travel with a big, overbearing black man who scolds and swears at you constantly
Do you even know how to fun?

The scorpion boss translation was correct, they just accidentally put a quotation mark between "Cloud" and "Barret"

It's actually the scorpion boss saying "Cloud, Barret, attack while its tail is up!" trying to trick you.

Just like in Chrono Trigger when that one boss says "Go ahead, try and attack!"

tifa's multiple hits limit is good for early game
I usually grind for limits once I've reached mythril mine

>Aeris

Nah.

It's supposed to be "If you attack while its tail is up, it'll counterattack with a laser", but due to the weird break in the lines it got translates two different sentences "Attack while its tail is up! [line break] It'll counterattack with a laser!"

I don't think that's true, why would it talk or know their names?

Also any sane developer would know not to put that kind of shit in the tutorial.

Heckran

Also, "Yes indeed!"

>tonally it will come off weird
>in a game with a talking dog, robot puppet and vampire and black guy with a gun arm
Yes. I'm sure that will be the weird part.

It's a robot built by Shinra to protect the reactor. Cloud is a former Shinra employee and it is to be assumed they discovered Barret was part of AVALANCHE, a group posing a threat to them.

Is this nigga serious?

I still don't get it: was cait sith a sentient robot or was it puppet controlled by that shinra guy (reed?)

If it was a puppet, why does it show it being proud of itself for sacrificing itself in the temple of the ancients/how did no one notice reed controlling it for such long lengths of time?

But if it was sentient, how did they realise it was reed based on reed getting his accents mixed up?

best guess it was a semi-autonomous robot being commanded by Reeve, not directly remote controlled as the translation suggests

>this guy has never been spoiled for over 20 years

I've played the game several times and I have no idea.

Caith Sith is definitely the most bizarre part of the game, and that's saying something.

I think Reed is just a sperg who got too into roleplaying Cait Sith.

And nobody noticed him going off all the time to pilot Cait because they were already used to him locking himself into his room and watching Wutainese cartoons all day long.

Supposed to be a Gold Saucer fortune telling robot hacked by Reeve. The way it acted was just part of its normal programming. I'm guessing it was Reeve's actual voice, just through a voice changer.

Reeve was so hi up in Shinra, he probably easily had the privacy he needed to execute this plan.

Worth noting Cait Sith being in Advent Children was about the most retarded thing imaginable and that fact can't possibly be canon.

>the european version showed aerith's death on the back of the box

What were they thinking?

If any of you anons could give me the names of these young women it would be greatly appreciated. My wife's son is having barmitvah and I would like him to properly become a man

I don't even remember what his goal was.

I just remember him joining the party, doing something retarded and then the game forgets about him.

Rachel James, Elsa Jean, Sydney Cole

His original goal was to stop Cloud & Co's plans, but changes his mind more and more as the game progresses. Reeves seems to become increasingly shocked/disgusted by Shinra's in those official meetings.

Reeve was a spy for Shinra. He was telling the Turks what Cloud was up to and where they were going. Cloud gets wind of this in Gongaga when the Turks surprise him there. Also the whole stealing the black materia at gold saucer bit.

he was just keeping tabs on AVALANCHE
when you get to gogonga, the turks ambush you with Reeve's intel

Thinking back, one thing that I really liked about FF7 is that it just keeps on escalating things.

You start off just some random nobody who's hired to commit some terrorism, because of some vague environmentalist stuff. Some shit goes wrong, but on the whole you're pretty successful, which makes you an enemy of Shinra, the guys who own the reactors (and most of the city, for that matter). Then Shinra turns out to be downright evil instead of just a bunch of greedy corporates (I mean, dropping the plate was pretty fucked up), so of course they have to be stopped. But then, oh shit, this guy Sephiroth is bad fucking news, and he murders the shit out of everyone in Shinra HQ to prove the point. So now we're moving up from evil businessmen to murderous superhumans, and once again it's up to you to put a stop to it all.

And it keeps going on like that until the entire planet is about to be smashed to bits by a giant meteor, while near-immortal superweapons are rampaging around trying to genocide the fuck out of everyone in order to provide the planet with enough life-energy to stop the meteor, and on top of it all the same superhuman asshole is planning to absorb all that energy to basically become a god. And you're still the chump who's expected to solve the entire fucking mess.

youtube.com/watch?v=Hm1o4DOsj5s

I like how there are so many factions hating each other, but everyone hates Sephiroth. He's like ISIS.

Doesn't he say "attack while it's tail is up" and them in the next line "and it'll use it's tail laser"?

Keystone*, not black materia.

>*bing*
>"It's-a me, Mario!"
>*1-up*
>"Wahoo!"