What would you do in this situation?

What would you do in this situation?

take a picture and post it on reddit for karma

Throw three things at him and watch him have a meltdown.

i'd tell him csgo is shit

If I was a billionaire, I'd have a personal chef. Then again, I wouldn't want him to "slip and fall" then file a lawsuit.

kill him

then take a picture and post it on reddit for karma

kill him there, that's clearly early steam gabe, let him die a hero instead of living long enough to become the villan

Remember when Sup Forums thought Gaben was cool? He's totally irrelevant now.

nothing. i don't take pictures of strangers.

hi neogaf

call him a faggot for letting dota devolve to a faggot game because of his love for reddit.

Tell him eating subway won't make him thin.

>internet neckbeards helping the most cancerous moneymaker in the industry rise because they were tricked into thinking the director was "le our guy".
Their empire of microtransactions and DRM was built on your memes.

>tfw you can never be famous because Sup Forums will make fun of your disgusting fat body.

Hug the gay Ben

Hmm, let's see
>I'm gaben
>I'm clearly on a diet as I'm in subway, so I'm starving
>Only had 3 burritos this morning
>Sub right in front of me
>Dripping with mayo, vinegar, ranch dressing, and some margarine I brought from home
I dig in and enjoy my lunch.

They told me I couldn't be famous or a political figure because of the social media pictures of me in blackface.
Jon Hamm, you glorious bastard. There's hope for me yet.

ask him if that chair is made out of depleted uranium

Grab his food and demand he tell me everything about Half Life 3 before giving it back.

>le reddit fat man

I'd let the guy eat.
He just wants his lunch, doesn't need the 30th neckbeard that day to ask him when HL3 is coming out.

>Do I put down the sandwich and have a cookie?
>Or should I use my other hand to take a drink and finish my sandwich before I eat my cookies?

I don't know OP, it's such a tough call to make

casually say whats up gaben

>HEY
The yelp fills the air in the subway "restaurant"
Several human wildebeests gaze up from their food as they continue to graze
>YOU. YEAH YOU YOU FAT FUCK.
Gaben realizes the shouts are directed at him. He turns around.
As soon as he lays eyes upon me a palm slaps him HARD across the face, snapping his glasses in two as they go flying across the room.
>WHERE'S MY GAME, GABE? WHERE. IS. MY. GAME.
He cowers in fear, knowing now that his life is about to end. He quietly urinates and prepares to soil himself.
>WHAT GAME YOU ASK? IT COULD BE HL3. IT COULD BE L4D3. HELL, IT COULD BE DOTA3.
>THAT'S THE POINT. FINISH. WHAT. YOU. START.
I unzip my pants.
(1/7)

take a photo and leave

>slams fist on table

WHERES HALF LIFE 3

remember when Gabe had a Sup Forums meetup at valve? do you think he'd still do that?

toomany Sup Forumstards here.

Sup Forums/Sup Forums was allot different back then.

>gently tap the side of his head with the end of a baseball bat
>yo, whats up?

What is it with fat famous people and subway?

When gabe had a meetup? lol
Honestly I cringe when I remember it but I really wanted to go. I couldn't, but after seeing the photos I'm really glad I didn't.
Instead of a bunch of funny guys pallin around with a weird shared sense of humor, it was just like fedoras and neckbeards everywhere

pregnant with triplets?

tell him too purge half life 2 and half life 1's existance from the internet to upset redditors

How do you think they got so fat in the first place? When you eat rubber meat wrapped in bread that is basically part insulation, you won't be digesting anything anytime soon. Don't let that hack fuck Jared fool you, he only got skinny because his overwhelming desire to outrun fleeing children beat out the desire to stuff his fat fucking chins with shit sandwiches.

>slowly creep up on him
>almost glance lips across his ear lobe
>WHERES HALF LIFE 3

Whisper softly to myself "I wonder if that's really him... Meh, probably not" then continue about my day normally.

Tell him to buy Nintendo and save videogames

end it there

they convince themselves they're eating healthily as they eat a foot of bread that is technically classed as confectionary because of its sugar content and then fill it with cheese, meat and sauce
subway is actually less healthy than a lot of fast food stores

The 1/7 was a joke

why the fuck would a millionaire who lives in Seattle (or wherever he is) eat Subway? poor taste!

loli is a hell of a weight loss plan

>mfw I have a 400+ pound friend who used to get Subway sandwiches to "lose weight" until I first told him the sandwiches Jared ate had practically nothing on them when it came to condiments and then made him put his usual sandwich into their online website and it was over 1600 calories

Fucking hilarious how many people walk in and make foot long sandwiches with everything they have that's NOT green and then drown it with 5 different condiments and think they're eating healthy.

Portion control, dude... You can eat nothing but peanut butter and CUM and lose weight... People who eat Subway probably go overboard on SODA which is all sugar and corn syrup. Supersize Me was debunked a long time ago.

I would take a pic with him, then go full cringe pcuck masterrace on him just to see his reaction. And I mean CRINGE.

Maybe hunger got a sneak attack on him and it was the closest food place.

but if the end result is jail, was it worth it?

>You can eat nothing but peanut butter and cum and lose weight
Okay guys come over I got a jar of peanut butter and an empty jar

>People who eat Subway probably go overboard on SODA which is all sugar and corn syrup.
Soda is a big part of the calories in a fast food meal, but you'd have to be retarded to think that's the main offender. Shit, most retards who think Subway is healthy typically get diet sodas.

You can eat a full chunk of hamburger a day as long as you're doing heavy cardio like jogging or long distance cycling.

I bloated up more from a single oreo pack than a chinese all you can eat.

a guy lost weight by eating only
mcdonalds

to to prove that its healthy for you but to basically prove that its all about calories in and calories.

the dude excercised to burn more calories than what he puts in

carbs on top of carbs on top of salty salty meat slivers is how people bullshit themselves into eating healthy

This. I'm sick of all these faggot /fit/ memesters going on about Supersize Me being debunked. No, it's not just the soda, it's the red meat, the incredibly salty/greasy bread and fries. At least pretend you know about your shitposts.

Say hi and say it's an honor to meet him and I appreciate his work, then go about my buisness.
Of course I might accidentally ask him for an autograph, but I hope I can contain my autism.

>Tfw gave up sofa a month ago
>Tfw the first week I was literally shaking and my body was in pain from no sofa
>Now I can't even think about drinking soda without getting sick

Will the same thing happen once I start cutting out fast food? Will it be harder than cutting out all soda?

jesus nigger just sit the fuck down, sofas aren't THAT bad for you

Compliment his ipad

You're literally worse off than most alcoholics.

wait a minute ...

...that claw...

Gaben's eyes grow hungry as I unbutton my pants
>why are you reading this? Are you moved by the unzipped pants?
Come on user.
It's 2016 you know.
Faggot.
2/7

This

That 12 year old weighs more than me and I'm 6'. Am I a hungry skellington?

Keep going, bitch. Finish what you fucking started.

More like CSGO to the polls

would yell at him calling he a fat jew

and then I would cry

Do NOT bully Gaben!