What the FUCK is this shit?

What the FUCK is this shit?

I spent the whole game doing redundant shit so I could beat SAURON in a 5 second QTE?!?!?!?!?

This game is garbage.

I really don't get the praise this game was given.
The combat is your standard bamham "we don't know how to make good enemies, so just fight 20 damage sponges at once"-combat, the nemesis system doesn't work at all if you are not an idiot and die all the time, also the story sucked ass

I went in blind on a friend's recommendation. I agree with the story being bland and by the books.

Plus the 20 damage sponges every stronghold gets tiring.

Let's also not forget the FUCKING INTROS EVERY FIVE SECONDS!!! I stopped caring who these fucks were by the first 10 minutes. It also breaks the flow of the combat when every captain introduces himself one after another.

Why the fuck did this fucker keep coming back? Was he also a wraith?

I killed the fucker like 5 times.

Aren't uruks basically immortal? Their bodies can be thrown back into the spawning vats to be reborn right?

I've no clue, but some of the captains kept coming back after getting executed.

I'm also pissed that you can't skip Captain intros.

As per books lore, Uruks are genetic mutants and event if dismembered can come back to life if thery throw their body parts back into the vats.

>im so mad about computer games, reeeee!
This "angry gamer" schtick stopped being cool years ago

>the culmination of the game ends with an underwhelming QTE and nothing else
>i't's a schtick to be angry

You're a fucking moron if you think getting robbed of an ending because they couldn't be bothered adding an actual final fight with mechanics was ok

Consider your bait taken

At the end Is calebrimbor evil or not?

Dlc seems to imply it.

I promise not to hurt ya!

They didn't remove it.
They made it DLC.
You actually do fight Sauron in the fucking Celebrimbor flashback DLC.

That fight was a reskin of the hammer guy in the main game.

With maxed out ring of power it was also extremely easy.

Yes, pretending to get angry when you didn't like something in a videogame makes you look stupid now. Unless you're actually angry, in which case you are autistic.

It was but still it was at least a fight.
Main game didn't even get that.

Press X to KILL SAURON

wew, i cant believe i wasted my time playing this game

Isn't that Morgoth, Sauron's master?

Defending poor videogame decisions or in general makes you a dunce.

>IF YOU DON'T REE HARD AF WHEN YOU DON'T LIKE COMPUTER GAME, YOU'RE AN APOLOGIST. I WON'T FUCKING STAND FOR THIS SHIT ANYMOREEEE
Lol

No.
The game is a fanfic prequel to LotR.

They don't have the rights to use any content from Silmarilion so they're stuck with using only appendices in LotR and having to deliberately fanfic the shit out of them so as to not get sued by Tolkien estate.

>Bend over and accept mediocrity as commonplace just like i have, and if you DON'T, then you're just wrong and autistic

Lemayo my anonymous friend, just lemayo

>surely my angry Sup Forums post will change the industry for the better

Why is this game full of RNG runes? It's single player.

>having a discussion about a game is trying to change the industry

lmao

>acting like le angry gamer is a good way to start a "discussion"
It's even worse than I thought

>Went back to "le angry gamer argument"

I win

>you pointed out that I get way too upset when I dislike something in a computer game, I win

Bought this game, played it for less than 15 minutes and returned it. Shittiest combat ever conceived.

why do you continue to post pictures of yourself no one gives a shit

...

For real? Tolkien was a sick fuck.

I got it for under $10. Is it going to give me my money's worth for at least that? I love Tolkien Settings normally even though they've never really nailed it in video games. I kind of enjoyed war in the north (another $5 on sale steam buy because I heard it wasn't that good) and play LotRO off and on.. I have this game I just have never gotten around to it.

It is hands down the best Assassin's Creed ever.

what? No.

All orcs are basically elves that get tortured and mutilated beyond recognition. They breed just like normal elves though (even though we're never shown female orcs in the books or movies, they exist) Uruk Hai are just a particularly hardy breed of them from Mordor (no, the movies got it wrong, the half-orcs that Saruman bred were NOT Uruk-Hai.. they were... half-orcs. People referred to them as "swarthy looking Southrons" that almost appeared orcish.)

Orcs are immortal like Elves though, they can be slain but they can live for thousands of years if nobody kills them.

If they can be slain then they are not immortal.

no. Immortal means they do not die of old age or disease. Not being able to be slain means they're indestructible.

Many Deities in mythology are "Immortal" but can be slain, the Norse Gods for instance.

Books even had Gandalf speculating Saruman crossbred Orcs with men so they could march in daylight what are you talking about

No, immortal means incapable of dying.

HIGH IMPACT SEXUAL VIOLENCE

>man-orcs are different from orc-men

I'm still waiting for the sequel so the cliffhanger makes sense.

Orc man and human female = orcman

Human male and orc female = manorc?

One has a human female as the mother one has an orc as the mother.

Yes that means they had rape pits for orcs to fuck slaves and they had male slaves that had to sit there and fuck orks all day.

Are orc vaginas wide and loose to accompany naturally large barbed orc cocks?

He did. But those were not Uruk Hai. Uruk-Hai first came around 500 years before the War of the Ring (Uruk Hai led the assault that took over Osgiliath in 2475 TA, the War of the Ring was in 3018-3019 TA)

Half Orcs were a different thing altogether. Peter Jackson made Uruk-Hai be half orcs.

Uruk-Hai were large black skinned orcs from Mordor, they were shorter than men though.

Half Orcs could pass as really ugly looking humans, in fact they did in Bree. They were used as spies. Frodo remembered seeing one talking to Bill Ferny and Harry Goatleaf as they left Bree, noting his really squinty looking eyes and that he looked half a goblin (because he was)

>combat involves mashing left click until my sword glows blue
>press f for execution

Honestly, this shit is just boring. Not to mention the very underwhelming "bosses".

Hitting enemies with a butter knife makes for shitty combat

... I did say that Saruman bred half orcs. I just said that Half orcs were NOT Uruk Hai, .... half orcs are half orcs.

Different things.

>noting his really squinty looking eyes and that he looked half a goblin (because he was)

Man that's racist as shit.

>implying orc physiology allows for such virtuous aspects as pleasurable intercourse for females of any race

Original uruks were bred by Sauron, Saruman did the same thing. There's really no difference.

>bought the game on sale
>still feel ripped off

What the fuck is wrong with this game?

Wait, so Orc penises really are as described in ?

Not having played batman i somewhat enjoyed Mordor, but yeah the final boss being a qte really was pathetic.

I was like: "thats it? THATS SAURON?"

fucking lame

I honestly wouldn't complain about being a slave who just fucks female orcs all day, granted they're at least a bit attractive

so you're saying that orc females are just as pleasurable as human females, if not more so due to their savage nature

So you would fuck feminists all day?

...

>decapitate one orc around a dozen of times
>he still comes back to try and fuck me up time and time again

I mean, the nemesis system was cool as shit and I enjoyed taking them over once you could and doing orc vs orc battles, but it still was a bit underwhelming. Great idea though, I hope I'll see it implemented in a different game in a better way too.

>I was like: "thats it? THATS SAURON?"

buy the dlc for an additional crappy fight against him that'll make you say those words again

>at least a bit attractive
I don't think they count.

I said a bit attractive.

That's a fan drawing though. It could just be flavor for all I know.

Arwen, you always wuz a silly ho

you can actually fight against sauron when you do Celebrimbors campaign.
Which is really fucking short but hey, powers of the one ring.

>friend recommends me this game
>doesn't tell me about the Sauron fight

I'm going to start recommending horrible games now.

>blind bought this for like 6 bucks
>fun killing orcs
>didn't know the orange/red missions were infinite and kept doing them
>by the time i actually went to the second map i had every non-story locked skill
>utterly destroyed the rest of the game

it was fun though, i like the screenshot system they have that they also put in mad max and bamham tank simulator

no that's invincible.
>inb4 invisible

This game was only interesting if you fed yourself to the orcs over and over so they'd actually get abilities

>Recommend shitty games out of spite to someone
>Watchdogs, Platinum's TMNT, Far cry Primal, Thi4f,Drakengard
>He likes them all

except that Tolkien referred to Uruks having black skin and bowed legs, and half orcs could pass for ugly humans in bree. That said Saruman DID have Uruk-Hai in his armies, they just weren't Half Orcs, those were a different thing.

You cockmongrel. At least get your facts straight before being an obtuse dick.

>my wife just died like a couple of day ago
>here's a love interest

Who the fuck wrote this?

It's one of the games you don't play for the story, but just to fuck around.

It was a better evil overlord simulator than an action game

didn't they dot he same thing in mad max?

How was I supposed to know that going in blind? Even then, that shouldn't be the case.
I wouldn't know, and i dont plan on playing anymore games with this type of combat.

Wasn't it Sauron's Right Hand?
Still, anticlimatic as FUCK

As in the games or movies? In the case of movies: no.

Whoever's hand it was, it got a 5 second "boss" fight right into the credits.

>game based on one of the best stories ever written, the #1 best selling fiction novel of all time, that has inspired an uncountable number of authors and established high fantasy as a genre
>story can just be ignored because it's unimportant

I mean, I get what you're saying but they should have some more love for the source material than to make a bad story out of something connected to it. Story and language should be paramount in a game based in Tolkien.

It's a damn shame that Middle Earth/Lord of the Rings has yet to be the setting of a truly great Video game... there's all kinds of great high fantasy video games that are inspired by Tolkien... but they aren't middle earth settings themselves.

It's a red herring

He's not at all interested when it's choice time

I thought he was a bit conflicted, considering that Celebrimbor can read his emotions/thoughts.

Why would he go through all that trouble if he wasnt interested. Other than maybe a debt to the Queen of the Shore.

>Watch dogs trailer looked great
>game actually sucked balls
>Shadow of Mirror looked good
>sucked balls

Why do this games still fucking happen? They promise the world, and then when the game comes out it looks like trash, plays like trash but somehow they still sell like crazy.

I am pretty hopeful about wild, but then I found out it's being headed by an ex Ubisoft employee. I fucking hate Ubisoft and EA. Utter trash tier garbage games.

Because while they bullshit and downgrade, they still meet their quota.

So, unless the bubble pops, the masses will buy their downgrades, mostly because a lot of people don't even remember what the bullshots looked like.

thing about ubi games is that they're not really BAD it's just that they're overhyped and never live up to the promise of their premise. Mostly it's mediocre games, but you get too excited for them.

AC2 was the last Ubi game that I think surpassed expectations, but that's because people set the bar low after how painfully mediocre and disappointing AC was compared to its hype. But then of course it became an annual series and went back to mediocre.

EA though is mostly shovelware you're right.

>that pic
>i-it was just a prank bro

>game devs: You won't fight Sauron or anything like that. We respect the lore.
>the games has you do exactly that

I think you're right. The worst one is far cry though, they really pissed me off when that became an annual pump out. Watch dogs too really. It could have been grand theft auto on crack, but instead it was just another piece of shit wanna be "anywhur anythang ud like tu du" game that was no where near that in the end. And that's not even talking about the graphics in the e3 trailer vs the actual game.