ITT: We create the most shittiest, most annoying game

ITT: We create the most shittiest, most annoying game

QTE Bosses

RNG based cosmetics

Random stat gain on level up

I create an RPG with artificial difficulty like Dark Souls

"Please rate us five stars or share a post on Facebook to continue!"

It's not a freemium game, it's a full $60 game.

Allies can only be gained from using randomly dropped resources on another randomly dropped, and rare, resource. Whether or not the resources used actually work is also RNG, and using them has a chance of deleting the rare resource. You can also buy the rare resources by using another semi-rare resource, or in-game money, but those still require the first resource and may or may not still be capable of deleting themselves. Oh, and you have to roll 1 or 2 extra times to get an ally worth using.

All PvE resources are stored at base, other players can attack your base to steal those resources (and you can attack them), so half the game is building defenses and base management. Also, upgrades take real time.

See: MGSV, Let it Die, Clash of Clans

a loading screen to prepare the loading screen

"""dialogue choices""" that are just variations of the same thing like in Skyrim and Fallout 4

Mandatory crafting.

Sonic game where you can create your own character.

A randomly selected character from a random online player is your partner for the entire game.

uNSKIPPABLE CUTSCENES

Like Sonic '06

Complex combat system but massing a single button is the most effective

RE6 already took that title.

No healing or health regeneration

3d graphics

Redundant HUD thats always in your face

Level-ups aren't gained through experience points, rather than by strict story progression.

DLC true ending

open world

Make the game an shooter and make the enemies bullet sponges that can use the shittiest weapons efficiently while you die in two to three shots

...

Truly villainous

Several functions should be mapped to the same button (eg. running, jumping, and rolling all on the same button)

All I feel reading this is pure anxiety. Like I'm sitting on a mine.

A 2D platformer where your jump is only two squares high but takes three seconds to reach its apex and another three seconds to return to the original height. The jump itself is not parabolic, but is instead linear.

When you pause the game the menu appears as an overlay. The game world atill continues moving you just can't see it. And it's fully single player.

Unavoidable tutorial messages that pause the game to disrupt the flow.

Or a 3D platformer where you can't move while mid-air, and jump distance is vaguely related to movement speed pre-jump.

FUCK YOU SMT STRANGE JOURNEY

all the QTE are procedurally generated so timing and what buttons and how u press them willnever be the same

Developed by CDPR

10% of the achievements are linked to multiplayer.

Multiplayer is lackluster and dies within two months of release.

Your preferred stat was determined at the start of the game. Git gud.

>10% of the achievements are linked to multiplayer.
>There is no multiplayer

Mandatory crafting but the crafting system has to be "leveled up" so you need to keep making basic fucking tools to level up and make more advanced shit.

The mandatory item you have to craft is a cold fusion reactor.

At low health, ammo, or straying from the objective it should beep.

Game saves automatically in 10 minute intervals.
You can only load back once and wait again.

Now THAT's bad

You have an annoying invincible companion with a high pitch voice which does not contribute at all to the combat situations you are in and complains all the time and points out your imperfections

The soundtrack files get lost halfway through development and are replaced by MIDI versions

Boss starts attempting instant kill moves at 75% increasing in severity and difficulty as the fight goes on.

A unique, badass theme song for a highly anticipated battle in the game.

The battle takes about 55 seconds and you never, ever hear that song again. The song takes 2 minutes to fully loop.

Tutorials out the ass like the mario and luigi games
60$ ps4 pro exclusive game
no health bars on enemies
crazy bus tier soundtrack
all sound effects and music are recorded from a cheap disposable phone
it is a platformer fighting game
no story mode online only
random crits
something similar to final smashes from smash
overpriced micro transactions that make the game unbalanced
content locked until you play a certain amount of hours
all characters sound like alvin and the chimpmunks

>Answer some stupid fucking quiz
>Game randomly decides what stats to go with
I don't know how you can git gud at that.

Even then, no matter what you "prefer" you can get jack shit for leveling up.

part of why i stopped playing Let it Die to be honest

Zombies are the main enemies

You forgot how the player meta vans certain weapons for being too powerful, preventing you getting those weapon achievements legitimately.

The true secret to making an obnoxious game isn't adding a bunch of giant awful shit, that just makes people turn away. You have to add a bunch of small shit that's slightly out of the way so people will convince themselves to keep playing so they can get past the shit (little do they know the shit is everywhere).

Some tedious shit includes

>Game has a giant barren map, but you can only run indoors
>Loading screens take 27 seconds no matter what, and they have weird obnoxious sounds that just grind on your ears (think of the sound that Overwatch makes while finding a match, and make it even shittier)
>The game will have cool armor, but in cutscenes it'll show you wearing your original shitty armor (this will make even less sense when everyone else in the cutscene who got new armor is wearing theirs instead of their original trash)
>Starting the game will start 30 seconds of obnoxious logos for companies, and every time a new logo appears on the screen it'll make a wooshing sound

Any chest has a 2% chance of being a mimic. Mimics have high HP and are very fast at running away, and will take the treasure with them.

They will always run for the nearest bottomless pit, enemy ambush, or inaccessible area, then permanently despawn.

Protagonist doesn't get with the girl, despite the girl clearly wanting them. Girl is also insanely hot and nice.

Starring the voices of Andy Dick, Kanye West, Justin Biber, Miley Cyrus, and Adam Sandler

>best boss fight ever is in the game
>ends after the 1st 3 hits after the rival "saves" you from it.
>game treats this as th moment you and your rival become friends
>fight boss again near the end of the game, but it's been simplified and you kill it in 2 hits

Introduce an interesting faction that you can play as. Introduce unique faction items that require high amounts of faction items to obtain. Then lock a major game achievement behind those faction items.

Then make sure that the faction items required for level up have an extraordinarily low drop rate and make sure the PvP elements are as broken as possible, making obtaining this item horrific.

Finally, make it so that other players cannot drop this item to help you out, even a little.

Requires W10 to play but it doesn't leverage DX12 features

If an RTS, all AI opponents will ignore each other to gun for you even if you set it to free for all and lock teams so they can't ally.

>All your followers have a chance to die except one, and that one will be a girl who's important to the plot who is a massive cunt
>During cutscenes details will be purposefully off (someone's hair is a slightly different tone, someone is wearing different shoes than before, someone has a different voice actor that sounds almost exactly the same as their old one)
>Your weapons and armor deteriorate, and there's nothing you can do to fix them when they break except pay someone an insane amount of cash to fix them
>They'll only repair them to 60%
>If you try saving weapons/armor in your inventory for later, they'll rust from "disuse"
>Even if it's impossible for the material it's made out of to rust
>The game will address this with a sassy character breaking the fourth wall with a shitty joke that everyone will laugh at in the game
>The game's opening song is a shitty pop song by an indie band

Mary Sue companion voiced by Felicia Day

If you die, you have to wait an hour until you can be revived, or pay real-life shekels to comeback

MC/One of the MCs is a "strong" female character who acts like an whiny insufferable cunt but is called by journalists as a female icon in gaming.

>game requires you to have fun to enjoy it.

>game has sex scenes, but they're only implied except with the gay (male) option

>motion controls

>hugely variable volume

>worst end is canon

>fetish pandering constantly

>Game calls you a casul

>And she doesn't make any attempt to hide it
>And the character is literally just fucking Felicia Day

>Boss fight has a 10 minute unskipable cutscene before it
>Boss has Gorrillian HP
>Boss spawns creatures and makes it invunerable
>1 sec QTE SEQUENCE to finish it off. If you stuff up even one, it regains all it's HP
>When under 10% health, all attacks are insta kill
>Don't kill him the first time you fight him and you get the bad end.

>Gamer Girl Country Boy blasts at full volume every time she's on screen or mentioned
I'd play it.

There are lots of side quests in the game but you can only accept one at a time.
The quest givers are placed throughout the world and you need at least 30 seconds to navigate the menus and accept the quest.

That sounds fucking awful.

>single player content is locked and can only be unlocked through multiplayer
>so if the multiplayer is dead or shut down, tough shit

The movies are a different resolution than the game screen, and it makes your screen flicker and blackscreen several seconds before continuing onwards.

Achievements that can only be unlocked in a certain order. If you perform a later one early it doesn't count.

The campaign has multiple false-endings but is still incredibly short.

It experiments with interesting mechanics that are never fleshed out.

Hard mode just doubles enemy hp and attack damage.

The hero is a insufferable moralfag who at one point allows the main villain to escape alive to kill more people because he thinks if he kills the villain he'll be just like him.

>game has sex scenes, but they're only implied except with the gay (male) option
Game?

Forced stealth missions/escort missions.

>multiplayer is DLC

Every step you take a dialogue box pops up making footstep noises

>Can't pause cutscenes
>pressing start skips the cutscene with no verification
>you can skip the credits but it skips the very important post-credits cutscene

No.

You can create your character

But at the end of the tutorial your character dies and you get replaced with the most annoying protag

The items you got during tutorial does not carry over and is not found anywhere else on the game

plot and characters written by bioware/gearbox tag team

>enemy has a debuff that permanently alters your talent selection

You have to actually press the start button on the menu instead of any button.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>make hardest boss appear 4 hours into the gane.

The final boss requires a super long chain of tedious QTE, if you fail even 1 QTE you have to start again.

Then your rival comes out of nowhere and shoots the boss in the head.

>game is saved automatically on level up

It's a sequel that shits all over the original lore and removes all subtlety and intricacies with rule of cool bullshit (I.e Dishonored 2)

>qte bosses
>unskippable cutscenes
>voice audio completely unbalanced, no option to make it louder
>unreal engine 3 texture loadings
>the whole final chapter is paid dlc

Asura's Wrath?

Limited or collectable saves.

>Your party gets split up like six times
>Not everybody comes back each time so you may lose very important items depending on who leaves
>In every cutscene your party gets rekt by low-level enemies that you've previously destroyed before
>battle music is annoying as fuck (so are the hitsounds)
>all bosses are resistant to status effects
>at least 5 instances where you have to LOSE to the boss without the game telling you

>Enemies level up with you
>They're easier at L1 than L100
>You cannot run from fights

Paying real money only gives you a chance of cosmetics, and it can give duplicates.

Button prompts appear a second before you can do the thing and are mapped to a common button with a time consuming function.

This is massively better though. Fuck exp grinding, the most cancerous mechanic in all vidya.

>QTE bosses are bad
then explain Vanquish to me

FLYING FUCKING ENEMEIS
GO FUCKING KILL 12 OF THEM
YOU HAVE 1 MINUTE

>it is a platformer fighting game

Get the fuck out of here.

>You can't save the game
>You have to type in a 3 digit code to warp to a checkpoint / level
Only 80's kids will remember

Due to the color design, the cursor is almost invisible.
FUCK YOU HYPER LIGHT DRIFTER
FUCK YOU FURI