Joy-Con™

Joy-Con™

it looks like a joy to hold

>Nintendo once again making uncomfortable controllers for anyone who isn't a fucking asian.

Maybe I'm just an idiot, but I haven't understood Nintendo for over a decade.

why is that girl cursing so much I don't get it

Popuko has anger problems

>that useless shoulder button

and it could be potentially for decades more, because of all the jewgold they have in their vaults.

I'm so glad Nintendo has finally made a controller that fits in my ass, the Wiimote was much bigger (and painful) than it looks like on first glance.

Stupid and most games won't even support that control scheme except for first party games which will just cripple them.
The joycons are only there for the handheld mode anyways but they wanted to add another feature


It's like they're so proud of the Wiimote that they can't get their head out of their ass.


Everyone is going to use the normal controllers anyways

>console for kids has kids sized controllers
Shocking

>Literally a potential choking hazard for children.

I can see someone's dumbass kid dying from that already.

>that d-pad

This console is for babies?

it's intended for kids, though the actual nintendo audience is more like this

>that thumb

You see, the problem is you don't go designing a small controller for children, because of

>That poor child won't live to be old enough to legally post on this website

>that thumb

Are you an obese midget?

...

wouldn't it be irritaing to have a diffeerent button layout everytime you hold the controller that way?

>that microscopic d-pad

more mad at the smudges and then the chiclet keyboard and finally on the bad eating habits.

there isn't a real d-pad on the whole system

thats a button

its called the joy con because they tricked you into thinking you would have fun

Honestly i cant remember the last time i used the D-Pad on my Wii U or PS4

Why ?
Which games benefit a D-Pad?

They are children, not literal babies. They aren't going to choke on a fucking controller.

pretty much all games
except super simple kiddy games like mario that only need analog stick and 2 buttons

Literally any game with menus or shortcuts

>They aren't going to choke on a fucking controller.

You can't possibly be this fucking stupid; even fucking adults were accidentally throwing their wii-motes into their TVs back then, children stuffing a tiny controller like that into their mouths and choking to death on it is very well withing the realm of possibility.

Even the way it's held in this carefully arranged shot is hilarious. The index fingers are meant to give the impression that the controller is being held nearly perpendicular to the camera. But the right hand is twisted out slightly, top make the overlapping thumb look smaller (and the controller larger)

Nintendo died after gamecube

>manchildren throwing wiimotes into TVs is somehow related to children ingesting controllers and choking to death
No.
> it is very well withing the realm of possibility.
Yeah, like one in ten million.

now next time my dad comes home piss drunk and shoves controllers up my ass i won't bleed as hard
thank you nintendo

>advertise the entire thing for 20+ years olds in big teaser

Nintendo once again selling out it's fanbase. When I first saw that controller I was honestly offended, Nintendo is once again trying to pander to the casual crowd.

I mean, say what you want about the wiimote, but it was actually decent enough size controller to shove up your ass. The length and girth of it was still above your average dildo, although it pales in comparison to the gamecube controller. This little "joy-con" thing could literally be dropped into my butthole, I can't even make my shit that tiny.

>Menus and shortcuts
Why do you need a precise d-pad for those things? Works just as fine as using a keyboard

The question wasn't a precise one, it was what games use a d-pad period

underrated post

Did that thumb start out in life as a big toe?

still more user friendly than a touchscreen

It will have joycons with regular d-pad

you fucking retard the patents contain stuff that might or might not be there

thats not a d-pad, its a +button

Every laptop now has those shitty chiclet keyboards, it's not like you can swap them.

On the other hand, we wont have to buy a whole new console when the inevitable XL joy-cons come out.

>and painful
That's what the condom was for, dumbass.

Reminder that the majority of Sup Forums are morons who don't know anything about video games and just parrot their favorite ecelebs.

GEE WHIZ IF ONLY THERE WAS A REGULAR CONTROLLER WE COULD USE

...

>pay additional money for a functional controller
yeah okay

Why the fuck does it look like a cassette tape?

then don't fucking use the joycon by itself?

Is this good for fighting games?

But it doesn't have a d-pad.

Oh boy a compromised controller design to pander to casuals and force a gimmick, never seen that before.

Honestly, probably not. Who knows what fighting games will come out for it (if any at all) and the online would probably be dead compared to the games probably available PS4 or PC versions, plus, with only four buttons and a stick, you probably couldn't play a six button fighter like Street Fighter on it.

RIP going over to a friends house and playing portable street fighter.

The Switch will sell more than the PS4

screencap this

tru

the joy is a con

It has a d-pad.
It doesn't have a cross d-pad, and they are not necessary anymore. Literally no games use d-pads for movement anymore

What gimmick, you fucking asshat? Is playing on the go a gimmick now?

>but sony
Like fucking clockwork. Glad you agree the switch controller is garbage though.

Only if you consider Smash Bros a fighting game.

Anything else will need to be played with two joycons.

>controller detaching into two separate controllers isn't a gimmick
okay

+1

>features are gimmicks now

Such a fucking buzzword "gimmick" has become.

Not really a forced gimmick, since nobody uses the trackpad, and honestly a pretty nice controller

What's the matter? Can't handle some banter?

Oh no! The console lets me play most first party nintendo games without needing to buy a new controller! I HATE having options!

>Thumb
You wouldn't happen to have a caged onion lying around, would you?

This, consoles are for children.

No

Yes, having the main controller, the one packaged with the console, detach into two smaller controllers is a fucking gimmick. The "pro" controller or whatever is should be the default one.

typical nintendrone

Finally a D-Pad worse than the Gamecube.

Come hold my joywand

How does the control detaching affect gameplay? What games require you to detach the controller? The purpose of detaching is to carry the Switch as handheld and for local multiplayer if you don't have a spare controller. That's it.

Nah. The pro controller does not lead itself well to the console's main feature of being a portable and console "switch" device. You can't use the pro controller in handheld mode without it looking absurdly ugly and weird, but you CAN use the joycons for handheld and console with less compromise of form factor and design.

The fact you can ALSO use it for two player Mario Kart and whatever is just a nice bonus. As a kid I recall it being lame, having to wait to buy another controller to play multiplayer with my sister. This may solve that.

>that fucking finger

>The pro controller does not lead itself well to the console's main feature

You don't look so bad. Tell me about the NSF.

holy shit it's a retarded controller get over it, why even defend it? it's not like you can't use the pro controller or w/e

people arguing about it are dumb af, although i will say if it really is that small that's the most retarded thing i've seen in awhile

Yeah we'll just pay scalper prices when there's not enough of them made

The controller isn't forcing a gimmick, the controller is made for the device's main feature.

You're doing the equivalent of complaining laptops have trackpads instead of a mouse. It's a compromise perhaps, but one that is very much needed to keep it's function intact.

>Literally no games use d-pads for movement anymore
The average Sup Forums sonigger everyone.

TALK SHIT ABOUT THIS BEAUTIFUL THING, I DARE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS

That actually looks really comfortable, assuming you have a tablet holder that long.

You know how tired your arms get when you try to play a handheld or a read a book in bed?

So, from what I see here, when detached

>B becomes A
>Y becomes B
>X becomes Y
>A becomes X

how the fuck am I supposed to get used to this crap? It's like switching from a XOne controller to a DC or Nintendo controller right in the middle of a game. You have to learn TWO FUCKING BUTTON PATTERNS for the same machine. Who thought this was going to be a good idea? Holy crap.

>the average switch shitposters house

are you telling me you look down on the controller when playing?

you're not holding anything in the air, your arms are on the bed
it's literally laying in bed, how can you call that uncomfortable?

Part 2

Shouldnt it be
B>Y
Y>X
X>A
A>B

To preserve the orientation if the buttons?

with a battery life as bad as the fucking gamepad.

So this is the power of the switch?
Woah

Read it again.

reread mother fucker

oh fuck, time to sleep

I bet you can't touch type, either. how long did it take you to type up that post?

good night, user! sorry for being mean

You mean like every company ever but Microsoft?

>Joy-Con