Retarded weapons thread

retarded weapons thread

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youtube.com/watch?v=TPXOOKEnvoQ
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Exhibit A

Wow, Squaresoft really has the worst design team of all time of all time.

I love that weapon

I hate that weapon

Ive never played KH

...

it may look edgy, but the second blade has an actual use if you counter with it right after blocking any other weapon, using it like a staff.

This on the other hand... tho the first keyblade is simple enough to be alright

>it may look edgy, but the second blade has an actual use if you counter with it right after blocking any other weapon, using it like a staff.
Meh, the blades could use to be shorter and the staff longer.

>Auron's keyblade (a literal sword)
>not alright
In case you don't know which I'm talking about, it's the 4th from the left in 2nd row.

>This worthless cunt does not like double Glaves
You fucking disgust me

Sup

Enjoy cutting your leg off

Don't be stupid user plenty of people used it without cutting off any of their own body parts.

Assuming supernatural high strength it should work, a arbalest has a metal "bow" for tension

>only 3 ammo for a weapon that big and clunky
I hope she can one shot her enemies, otherwise she's fucked.

>fictional japanese sword thread

Found the vid
youtube.com/watch?v=TPXOOKEnvoQ

>4 enemies show up
>dies

>using a literal chain for a bowstring
No

In the end is the arc that stores the energy
And if both halves of the arc bend equally the center ring of the chain will always be aligned with the center of the arc (ie: the arrow will not "slide" up or down as it's fired since it will most likely get notched in the chain)

Double bladed swords are quite dumb but double bladed polearms would actually work very well.

it looks like 3 colored duck heads on top of a sword.
The Fenrir looks like an actual sword tho and is rather decent

God I love this game so much. I've most have completed it like 10 times.

I like FFTA/A2 a lot but I've only beaten the first. I go and start a new file on A2, break it with stupid abusing shit like auctions, and then get bored.
I want to use flying girl race, but I hate how much extra time it takes for them to fly and land. You already can't skip anything else in the game, why add an extra animation?

>"Shit Hirayuki, what weapon should we give this kid?"
>"I don't know Masamiro, he lives in a small fishing village, have him fight with an oar or some shit I guess, that makes sense right?"

Until seeing it zoomed out like that I thought Fenrir was just a random sword. But that's a really clever design to make it also shaped like a motorbike key referencing Cloud's motorbike.

Why didn't the rest of the designs have any thought put into them?

What game

I don't know what's more retarded, the look of the things or their names. Decisive Pumpkin? Photon Debugger? Jesus Christ.

chrono cross

What fucking part of the kayblade are you supposed to hit with? The 'teeth' of the key?

If so, whoever designed that hand guard was a goddamn simpleton

is there any game which has a collection of african-made weapons in it? cause holy shit are some of the designs retarded

>silent protagonist
i love those. at least they admit it. now if only I could have a "silent cast" or "silent majority".
if I want story, i'll find it

>keeps grabbing the swords by the blade

My ass clenches every time in phantom pain.

Also what is this guy's accent?

>Africans make weapons
>Completely retarded designs
How am I not surprised?

It takes a fair bit of pressure to actually cut yourself on those blades, it's not like handling broken glass.

youtube.com/watch?v=vwuQPfvSSlo

How would you even use those?

>Africa
>inventions
>weaponry
>mud cookies
>mud huts in 2017
>lower in than animals in the same area
>big dishes in lips

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!

Supposedly African engineering is the finest in early history, as proven by the most resource efficient weapons on earth
i think you just have to... fucking give it to your enemy and hopefully find a fucking rock to bash them with whilst they try to understand what the fuck the thing you gave them was?

>half-swording
>mordhau
>the same technique
anyway no point in holding the edges to handle a stupid weapon like a double-blade, use a fucking glaive instead.

Flail them wildly, hoping for the best as the lion devours your torso.

You throw them. They bounce over shields and hit the enemy in the head or neck

or you just slash away in the hope of killing them.
in the end forged metal against skin isn't a hard outcome to understand

Thrown. High chance to stab something when thrown.

Both make very little sense; from an economic standpoint, why have two blades on one weapon when you can have two weapons with one blade? Humans don't work very well with double-weapons under stress, its much easier to have a spear/sword that stabs in one direction and work around that than go with hard to use weapons.

They'd work as parade/fantasy weapons, and I love them.

You throw them at the enemy, they are designed so what ever touches the enemy cuts them
also they look like upright cats with a cape and a giant dick

Sure this weapon would great for chopping wood, not so great in combat since you'd need to be fucking Paul Anderson to pick up the bloody thing

With all sidequest every time? Because that's more than 1000 fucking hours.

>right handed
>leads with his left hand

My sister got me this game. I have never played it because every time I pick it up to start playing that stupid fucker is on the back of the case looking too retarded for me to actually start playing.

nah, i still think my version is more logical
but in all seriousness the small circular-looking one on the bottom left looks like an alright weapon

You couldn't ACTUALLY beat anything with a keyboard or mouse. They're retarded weapons. You'd smack one goon over the head once and have to troubleshoot the thing until you replace i, even though it's $10 dollars

use an axe instead, all the power of a buster sword condensed on a big metal head

Funny thing is that there were huge swords used in actual combat but nips often just go with oversized pocket knifes instead.

WE

what game?

WUZ

There's this crazy website called google nowadays you wouldn't believe

final fantasy tactics advance

Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2.
It's trash, play FFTA or FFT.
Tactics Ogre is a good choice too.

KANGS

What's wrong with the cat with a boner? He looks like he doesn't want to be an african polearm.

Awesome game in that the hero you play is actually the villain

>itt: we like boring weapons

Yea but zwaihanders where mostly for sweaping horses to trip them. I doubt they would have been used in 1 on 1 combat.

youtube.com/watch?v=FUOIKfqkijY

>t. weeb

Nobody's complaining about DMC weapons because they really feel at home in DMC; but people are gonna complain about sparkling rainbow scythe-chucks in their medieval fantasy games.
Think this thread's about that.

It's a throwing knife though.
Also chakram are the coolest throwable weapons.
youtube.com/watch?v=B_cX1SwiC1Y

...

I thought they were used to disrupt pike formations.

I digress, they probably wouldn't be the best dueling weapons ever but they wouldn't be completely ineffective, considering it's basically a sword/polearm hybrid.

You are correct, Zweihander carrying Landsknecht often carried a Katzbalger too, a normal sized sword.

That too, but they could trip horses and was used to do that. Shield formations had flaws with pikes and horses so you had this 1 guy protecting the formation from both by swinging it at them cutting up pikes and pissing off the calvary.

TA2 is just improved FFTA
Tactics is completely different and I have no opinion on it

I can accept that the gameplay is arguably better but the story is complete shit compared to the first one.

It's so fucking dumb.

But why do I love it?

Cool sounds.

Not so, as dispite what role players think huffing arround a 130+ pound lump of steal for dueling you would get 3 or 4 swings out of it and then you would tire, alowing you to be cut up.

I like the fantasy of having a sword that could cut god in half but i doubt any real world examples exist of 2 meter long blades killing in duels.

Is this design the worst Squeenix ever had? The weapon, the outfit, the amount of chains and belts and big poofy shit, those shoes.

In historical times people were lucky to get their hands on 1 weapon, so they worked with what they had. Swords were easier to carry and more versatile than glaives

>130+ pound lump of steal

Nigga how heavy do you think swords are?

i waited years to play kingdom hearts. As a long time secret of mana fan it felt like the spiritual successor we always deserved. The anime influence makes the plot get kind of silly but the boss fights they set up are worth

god tier
if they agreed on a name between ff9 and CC it could have been a cool memorable weapon archetype instead of forgetable double swords. I appreciate them though.
It fits a Disney game

the most egregious thing about this thing is that i cant even hit something with it in the fucking game. Seriously what the fuck. Absolutely terrible.
under represented. Warframe the best game to do these since sc2

>Not getting that i was talking about JRPG weapons like clouds
Reading what is that? i even said about fantasy in the second paragraph fools.

>I was only pretending to be retarded

I was talking about fantasy swords, I was talking about real world fucking zweihanders you moron.

> le epic gnome man meme

how, FFTA2 is so unbearably slow

>I was talking about fantasy swords, I was talking about real world fucking zweihanders you moron.
I'm confused.

Post the diagram explaining everything

>Knee nickels

Still pleb status. Go play the original.

>i was only pretending to read
Never go full retard man it makes you look stupid i said very clearly in the second paragrah.
Oh well i admit i got it wrong, but i was talking about fantasy swords so we got our wires crossed.

I loved Xena

That's how you would hold a double glaive right handed though, retard.

Normal weapons go right through the heartless. The keyblade does not slice, it bludgeons using special heartless hitting magic.

Some of the monstrosities from FFX-2 could give it a run for its money.

>somebody tries to recreate the base keyblade IRL
>they swing it like an axe

Ratchet and Clank had a design your own gun contest, and most of the designs were so awful, like a gun that turns enemies into drag queens or that sort of shit.
Best design was apparently the shotgun nunchucks

>implying that wasn't the coolest fucking moveset in the entire franchise

Yes, they actually existed.

>weapon autism thread
>skallagrim

pottery

Sup