Hand cramp simulation device

>hand cramp simulation device
>with built in frustration function

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it's so tiny, it makes small/medium hands look like giants

This, what the fuck were they thinking?

they were thinking: our fanboys gobble up any and everything we shit out.

They were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.

>They were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.

Probably this. Nintendo is so in love with their "we sell gimmicks" business model that they don't even question it anymore.

You can solve that problem at a low price of $69.99

>bringing a controller with you with a """"""portable"""""""" """""""handheld"""""""" device
the thing is already a meme-held device.
>2.5 hour battery life
lmao

they should have just made a real handhel device to succeed 3DS

>by the time most people realize it will be too late!

Honestly they should just buy out Vita from Sony and release some games to it

I wonder how much the thing would cost if you removed all the gimmicks no one asked for. Probably $200.

Battery life would almost certainly be better too.

the vita hardware is too good. nintendo only makes games for shit tier hardware.

Do you feel good on the outside looking in?

They can't, Vita only has one stupid gimmick (touchpad on the backside). Nintendo needs at least three.

not really. I wish the new mario wasn't exclusive to a shit tier overpriced, gimmick-filled scam

That definitely sounds like them, given the Wii U's games.

The Switch is objectively more powerful than a Vita, at least.

it's called the nintendo switch cause they are switching their target audience to gnomes

That thing looks like it could snap like a twig

well it's shit tier enough if you compare it to modern high end smartphones

They can add a strap thermometer and pregnancy tester

Nintendo will probably justify this by saying anyone over 12 who still plays games is a loser with no life.

>a device coming out in 2017 with 2.5h battery lfie is a tiny bit faster than a real handheld released ages ago
wow WHAT? MIND = BLOWN

just buy a new pair for 80$ or a single one for 50$

>well it's shit tier enough if you compare it to modern high end smartphones
meh, vita games look good enough for a handheld that old

so their entire fanbase?

(You) tried

>meh, vita games look good enough for a handheld that old
Because they use every technical hack possibly like using dynamic res and have an API which can actually be used with predictable results.

have you never been to a nintendo booth at any event ever?

>technical hack
you mean competent optimization? top kek. need I reminder you Zelda fps is only 22-30?

I really hope Hori's alternative is good

But at least is better than touchscreen only.
I mean, I have an good pc (fuck PS and Xbox) but I can play nothing if I'm not at home.
The only game what I liked was this one !!!

And no, don't tell me to buy laptop.
This crap is overpriced.

>but I can play nothing if I'm not at home.
buy a vita, hack it, and play all vita games and all retro games. with actual battery life instead of the meme 2.5h battery life of the switch, and the huge fucking size of the thing (not really portable)

>controller for ants

or, buy a 3DS XL and hack it. I have both a vita and 3DS

Playing BotW is confirmed for 3hrs on one solid charge.

If you're playing something like Bomberman that would be even more time, Octopath and you'd have even more battery life.

Why do people meme about it having 2.5 hours when that's the minimum you'll get when playing intensive games?

who the fuck moves their left stick like that? your finger will be on the left

>buying an overpriced huge """"handheld""""" console for mobile game tier shit
if you wanna play that kind of stuff, then just get a 3DS retard.

>why do people want to play the handheld device portably on battery charge with the only good game it has for at least 4 months

What is it with Nintendo and releasing terribly designed, unergonomic devices?

I've still got boneitis from the 3DS. And now they release the worlds smallest controller?

>What is it with Nintendo and releasing terribly designed, unergonomic devices?
They stay faithful to their traditions

They're doing it on purpose so you buy their "Pro" controller for the price of a video game

Batteries will be not a problem for me.
I use the outlet of my college to recharge my tablet and I turn the switch off while I study.

Obviously I will wait the price get lower to buy the switch because soon it will be dead in Japan too.

they only think of what jap kids might like

I am praying to Jesus Christ every night that Nintendo goes out of business.

I can only hope and pray that the switch suffers the same fate of the wii u so I can get one for cheap when SMT comes out for it.

As a Wii U owner, after watching the switch presentation, I pay for the same thing.

they were thinking "these idiots won't really believe that they should be playing games for hours straight with a single joycon controller, right? they know they can use both of them together, don't they?"

Where the fuck did people buy the Wii U cheap? Where I live it never went cheap, was always expensive as fuck and right now it's more expensive than a PS4 or Xbone (has been for a long time).

Major countries that aren't third world?

Wii U has been on incredible deals for years. There's been deals where you buy a Wii U with a bundled game and then they also include another major game too.

Like you could get a deluxe wii u with splatoon AND mario 3D world for like $350.

That's what she said

>Like you could get a deluxe wii u with splatoon AND mario 3D world for like $350.
that's not cheap at all
you can get a PS4 with a game for $250

My prediction: This will be the most bought accessory for the switch. Every other customer's child will ever lose these or pets will chew them up. (maybe even accidentally wash them too)
And the majority of those that need a replacement will be white trash. Those fuckers are breaking/losing everything.

I live in the UK. Wii U still costs over £200. A new Xbone/PS4 can cost you as little as £180.

Ian, pls

>$350 isnt cheap
i make almost twice that amount every week for free from my NEETbux

am i supposed to believe you are a wagecuck making less money than me? O I M LAFFIN

Bullshit.

Are you comparing a standard price to a sale price? Sure sounds like it.

Anyone have the picture of the two people playing the Switch on the wood table and it's ridiculously small? It looks sorta like this:

As someone who makes six figures, I'm going to buy it just to piss you guys off :)

it's not cheap compared to the other consoles, or the wii u launch price
the deluxe wii u was 350 at launch
it's still 300 minimum and it's already been discontinued

tiny japanese hands

Also;

How the fuck are westerners supposed to use the d-pad? I get that Nintendo is a Japanese company and they tend to make their products for the Japanese but there is no way in hell that I'm going to be able to use this d-pad with my normal sized hands.

I have the meme version.

>Bullshit.
go look on amazon for example

Where's a good deal for a 3DS XL though? Should I wait on a sale?

Am I being baited? I thought that thing was just decorative

I need the original for a crispy meme of my own.

Fuck this shit why would anyone use tabletop mode

Use your pinky nail you retard. God, some people just don't understand Nintendo's genius

They did this on purpose so they can come out with the Switch XL

>amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=PS4

Not even $250 when you consider some of the sale deals.

Wii U was the best deal for an 8th gen console. From the moment PS4/X1 came out, Wii U was always cheaper and with a better library.

>Dick is bigger than the Switch screen

Feels average man.

It's as big as an NES controller. Even bigger when you put on the wrist straps on.

>Porn designed for switch tabletop mode
>Do a sandwich with your dick and the joy cons
>HD vibration

Looks like cheap plastic garbage.

Can't believe even Sony has the best controller of the gen on top of the best console.

...

>tiny japanese hands

Im not shocked, every controller that has come out of japan since the 7th gen have been small as fuck

>praying to Jesus Christ

Why bother with him? We all know Satan is the one who does stuff for people. It won't be free, but nothing good in life is.

gets me every time

Hori usually makes some good stuff. But if their controller doesn't have a gyroscope, that console is doomed.

>Xbox controller designed for american fat fucks.

...

Are they comfortable when assembled to the grip/the tablet? Because if so, who cares? This is just an option for casual multiplayer.

If your hand isn't at least 8 inches you are a literal child

No, because it doesn't fix the stick orientation.

t. 5'9" manlet subhuman

Sony controllers do the same shit if you have normal sized hands. I even got a Cronus so I could use a different controller on my ps4 because of it. Putting those sticks so close together is retarded.

When will they ever learn?

>extremely quiet wahoo 1up

We'll see where that goes when this thing dies in about a year or so.

Retards, it's to force you to buy the Pro controller.

Nintentoddlers never well

If you have normal sized hands and a PS4 controller gives you cramps, you're holding it like a fucking retard.

it's probably ideal for japanese children, which is the target demographic of Nintendo.

It's ideal for no one, not even babies.

I'm fucking dying over here.

I seem to do fine on an Xbox controller. There is actually something to hold onto and enough distance between everything that my thumbs aren't constantly smashing into each other using the sticks. Guess it's a preference thing.

Fuck, the neon Switch looks so fucking beautiful.

lol, sick 'frence bah

Still more comfortable than pre-PS4 Dualshock lmao.

Batteries become worse and worse over time. 3 hours is already poor, and 2.5 hours even worse, and that's off a fresh battery.

There's no denying that the Switch is absolutely awful as a handheld.

...

There is literally nothing wrong with that layout.

Which wont have a good battery life like its predecessor because it has to run the stupid gimmicks at all times. Thanks, Nintendo.

So Nintendo is like the Apple of gaming?