Retarded vidya childhood stories general

Retarded vidya childhood stories general.

>be 7/8
>christmas day
>firing up the mega drive, sonic the hedgehog 2
>happily sperging along green hill zone
>get to the end, robotnik theme starts playing
>realise i have a completely irrational fear of video game bosses
>start absolutely fucking screaming the house down for my dad to come beat robotnik for me
>he's in the shower
>still screaming
>he comes bounding out in a towel, soaking wet swearing like a pirate
>literally stands there and beats robotnik for me
>throws controller down, stomps back to the shower
>order is restored
>water fucking all over the living room
>little brother sat there in complete shock
>mfw

Autismo

>be 7/8
>christmas day
>firing up the mega drive, sonic the hedgehog 2
>happily sperging along green hill zone
>get to the end, robotnik theme starts playing
>realise i have a completely irrational fear of video game bosses
>start absolutely fucking screaming the house down for my dad to come beat robotnik for me
>he's in the shower
>still screaming
>he comes bounding out in a towel, soaking wet swearing like a pirate
"Are ya winnin son?"

>sonic 2
>green hill zone

That atually is autismo. I think we all have moments like that though, in some form or another as kids.

>too afraid to defeat video game bullies

>too afraid to defeat real life bullies

>your dad probably wishes you should never have been born

speak for yourself autist

Sort of similar, I used to be scared shitless of the boss in Toy Story 2 on top of the tree house. I have no idea why.

Fortunately it was optional.

I was going to say I've never had one, but this reminds me of one.

>be me
>you child. don't remember exact age, probably kindergarten
>in some peewee bowling league
>bowling alley has pretty ok arcade
>always get some vidya in any time I'm there
>they have the simpsons: the arcade game
>one of my all time favs
>mom gives me quarters, leaves me to play
>doing better than usual, having a blast
>gotta piss. urgent little kid piss. had to piss from the start
>won't stop, can't stop, doing so well
>I'll piss when I die
>just keep going
>suddenly, I'm just pissing
>stand there like a deer in headlights, just fucking soaking the machine, all over the front, all over the coin slots
>no one saw me, only mom finds out
>she takes me to get new pants and underwear
>still wants me to bowl
>we come back
>game on a hand truck thing, ready to be wheeled out
>never comes back
>feelsbadman

>be 10 or 11
>in bed room, playing Sonic Battle on GBA SP
>I had volume on
>sister begins sperging because I had volume on, despite it being my room
>tell her to fuck off (not literally, just told her to go away)
>she starts crying and tells mom
>mom takes away my GBA because I was playing a game in my own room by myself, just because my sperg sister who walked past my room didn't like it

Don't get me wrong, Sonic Battle's OST sounded awful on the GBA's sound card. I just didn't expect my sister to go full autism on me.

I thought of another, although this one wasn't me.

>middle school
>go with dad to one of his friend's house
>meet the guy's family
>kinda white trashy
>kids seem like ADD riddled, half-retarded sperglords
>oh well, I'm here. I generally just try and make the best of things
>get along ok with the son about my age
>they have an N64 on a big screen TV
>play some games
>eventually play some wrasslin game he likes
>kick his ass at it every match
>eventually he explodes in a frenzy of autistic rage, going apeshit, tries and fails to push me down, culminating in him chucking the N64 controller at the screen
>his parents don't really even do anything, typical modern shit parenting of a retard
>my dad and I just look at each other like "literally what the fuck was that?"
>we both find it pathetic but hilarious when we leave
>dad said I should have just dropped the retard
>pretty cool dad

I have countless autismo stories from my childhood.

>go to friends house across the street
>playing mario 64 with him
>both chillin on the floor 5 feet from the screen
>really have to use the bathroom but also really into this god damn game
>im sitting with my belly down first like a seal
>really really need to go bad so I start rubbing my body foward and backward on the carpet and for some reason this helps my bladder keep it in
>friend just watching me do this I give no fucks though im playing mario baby
>friends mom calls him in her room
>i keep rubbing but it gets harder and harder to hold it
>i can feel my wiener getting red from rubbing against the carpet so much
>finally cant hold it in any longer
>start peeing as I rub myself against the carpet
>friend comes back
>we keep playing for like 15 minutes im unable to move because i will reveal the wet spot and the mess ive made
>friend sniffs the air for a moment and says "Did you wet your pants?"
>before I can say anything his mom calls him again
>this time hes pissed
>his mom starts to get mad too
>they start having a big argument
>i walk over to his moms room and peek my head in the door
>"hey uh im just gonna go home"
>friend already emotionally distraught from whatever shit with his mom bursts into tears and starts yelling about me staying
>just grab my shit and start walking out of the house as I can hear his voice echoing down the hall crying for me to stay "Dont go user Nooooooo dont gooooo!!! Mooooooom!"
>walk home soaked in piss thinking about how nice and warm and sunny it is and how fresh the orange trees are

I dont know why I can remember this all so well but yeah

holy crap autism is real

Your devotion is commendable. Salute, pisspants.

Why couldn't you retards just go and take a piss? Is it like some kinda phobia of not taking piss anywhere besides home? Jesus.

Imagine playing your very first 3 dimensional game for the first time.

>being so young you never played a game without a pause button
You know you have to be 18 to post here, right?

Nowhere near as bad but this thread reminds
>Have a friend who has always had some anger issues
>since we were young has been autistically obsessed with melee (we all were we just grew out of it)
>has us all over to play and keeps losing
>Clearly gets more and more mad
>Everytime we do this it usually ends with him throwing his controller and yelling at the top of his lungs while we all pretend it doesn't exist
>tfw we were 18 and he still did that shit

I was 5 or 6. Of course it was retarded. All kids that age are retarded. Even the genius ones (which definitely wasn't me, anyway).

I also thought I could hold it, and was playing an arcade game. No pause, quarter on the line, got way further than usual on my favorite game.

>there is people on Sup Forums that willing literally piss yourself for a videogame
Guess I'm not even close to be that hardcore. At least now I understand why piss bottles is a thing.

>Drew Zero on the back of the exam paper in elementary school
>Teacher thought I was drawing a girl with a swimsuit
>Get sent to the principal's office
>She called my parents and showed them my drawing
>They apologize and asked me to apologize too and to not do that again

I just like Zero

Why would you get in trouble for drawing a girl in a swimsuit? Would they have rather you to be a faggot?

haha shit
>drawing a chao from sonic adventure
>art teacher comes over
>"user what are you drawing?"
>sees i wrote "chao" above my drawing
>she asks me if I was trying to spell cow
>get embarrassed because everyone is looking at my drawing
>just quietly sit there and managed to say a yes
>she spends the next 5 minutes teaching me how to draw a cow
>fucking 8 years old and the teacher thinks i cant fucking spell cow

>Zerofags

Dying, edge and deus ex machina: the character.

I had a real difficult time fighting Kaa in the old Genesis Jungle Book as a kid and my mother always managed to do it for me. My mother who hardly ever touched video games and can't even Google shit or text properly.

I got so upset with my father not understanding that one level of Toy Story had a countdown that I puked.

You would have no problem in /currentyear/ but back then schools wouldn't accept that.

...

>playing Oot on the n64
>begin to wonder how the fuck video games work
>ask my dad
>he asks me what I think
>I tell him it probably has a little flipbook inside where they drew every possible scene in the game and whenever anything happens it flips to the corresponding page
>He tells me its actually numbers but actually it isn't actually numbers its just zeroes and ones but actually the zeroes and ones are just electricity
>tell him I like my idea better

>3 year old me
>loved playing his Sega Genesis
>to the point of whenever I had to take a shit, I would just take the little dry turds out of my ass and throw it behind the furniture it was placed on instead of pausing the game
>did this for 2 years
>one day mom wanted clean my room
>moves THAT furniture I abused for the past years
>shitstorm issued
To this date after reminiscing she still says "no wonder that room stank".~
And I laugh whenever my shitty antics get mentioned, god damn was I a retarded kid.

Huh? Schools are more overreactionary now than ever.

He'd probably have to go to sensitivity counseling for objectifying women.

are you autistic

>dreamcast is released here in America
>dad picked one up with Sonic Adventure and Soul Calibur at launch with a handful of $20 shop vouchers he was given from work
>having a chilled weekend with my dad, he was sitting down with me as we played through Soul Calibur
>during loading screen I hear a weird breathing noise
>confused as fuck, I decide to see what it is
>it came from the window near the front of our house
>it was the ADD riddled kid from accross the street, the same one who chased our cat because the cat found a donut on the side of the road before him
>sees me and runs to the door
>starts banging the door whilst making a weird screeching noise
>my dad runs down stairs and slams open the door
>grabs the ADD riddled child and drags him home
>kid's bursting into tears
>"SSOOOOWWWNNIIIICCCCC I WANNA PWEY SOOOOOOWWWNIIIC"
>i just stand there, so are other people next door, across the street and other passing by
>dad gets back home
>"if you ever see that kid approach you at school, don't feel afraid to drop him"
>go back to playing Soul Calibur with dad, but can't stop thinking about what happened

Doesn't stop there

>school next week
>me and some other guy in my class both had a Dreamcast, with people asking us about it
>at the back of my eye, ADD kid is watching me from outside the classroom
>he had the deepest stare i'd ever seen, and he was breathing heavily with chocolate around his mouth
>teacher goes to him to ask why he's staring at me
>he runs off, like Sonic of course
>everyone in class and hallway just barely holding in their laughs
>"Who the hell was that user?"
>"The kid who chased my cat for a donut"

Pisspants here.

Holy fuck dude, you just next leveled all of us.

I was 3 years old during a time where smartphones and internet wasn't a thing, your question is pretty retarded.

I take pride on these words.

>be a kid
>brother teaches me how to play QuakeWorld
>have to pick a username
>decide to use bad words so everyone knows how hardcore I am
>Boogerpenis

That sounds more like just a cute little kid story than an autistic story.

This reminds me of something
>Be 3
>Watching some DVR about firetrucks
>Uncontrollable urge to shit
>Don't want to quit watching firetrucks
>Climb into the corner of the room between the couches
>Commence shitting
>Mom instantly walks in
>Immediately locks on to me
>Realizes I'm shitting
>Shitstorm ensues
>Told to go outside because she doesn't want to see me
>Shit in the yard because I wasn't allowed inside for the next hour

Also
>Little brother is like 3
>Parents attempt to potty train
>Absolutely REFUSES to shit in the toilet
>Runs and hides somewhere and shit's his pants when he has to shit
>Mom always finds him shitting himself
>This goes on until he is 7

Your bowel movement was impressive user.

>mega drive
its called the genesis fags

>Be 4 years old
>Playing Yoshi's Island the first game I ever played.
>I enjoy how nice and cute it looks.
>I watch my sister get to bosses.
>I take it well despite some scary music.
>She get's to the final boss and I'm terrified
>I run out of the room screaming
>My brother and sister bring me back into the room saying the beat him
>They unpause and he's running right next to the screen.
>I run back into the bedroom crying.

>10 years old
>Israeli, barely understand English
>playing golden eye on the n64
>one of the missions has an objective that says minimize scientist casualties
>my dumb child brain thinks it means minimize scientist calculations
>think that it means that I need to destroy all the computers
>end up killing all the scientists along the way and failing the mission over and over again
>couldn't figure it out until my dad forced me to look in a dictionary
Fuck I was a dumb kid

Fucking kek.

He is Euro, give him a break.

Reminds me of a similar story with me aged 4 I think

>be in bathtub
>suddenly have the urge to take a shit
>there is now a shit in the bath tub (no, not me)
>think the shit is an evil submarine
>start trying to escape the shit floating towards me
>start screaming and crying
>mom carries me out of the bath as soon as she notices the shit floating around
>she then took me to McDonalds to learn how to potty train

>mario 64
>no pause button

pretty sure there are enough specifics here for a psychologist to have a field day

>2AM
>Staying up and playing Melee
>Collected all trophies
>Just rotating the trphies of hot video game characters in a perfect ass shot angle
>Get behind the door to rub my penis
>Old brother comes in
>I'm there naked, with anime ass on the TV, sotting behind the door

That was the first year I learned how to masturbate. I have to admit, masturbating back then was the best, now it's getting boring. I need to inovate.

t r u m p e d

This sounds like something I would have done, but fortunately I didn't.

>11
>playing Soul Calibur 2
>doing Weapon Master mode
>fighting Ivy
>she's in her skimpy outfit
>mom walks in
>instantly run out of the room afraid she's going to yell at me
>she didn't actually give a fuck

Try sex.
If not just jack off with another guy and pretend he's female.

what's it like with no foreskin?

Furniture Shitter here, the amount of stories I have about myself are endless, but here is a normal one, not so extreme related to yours.

>6 years old
>vacation at my cousins place
>both my cousins and my brother playing a new game they bought for the PSX
>they call me saying they bought a cool new fighting game (loved Tekken back then)
>some people in a mansion walking around talking
>they open some door
>pic related happened
Screamed like a bitch and couldn't sleep decently for days.

When I was little and played Pokemon, I picked my team based on Base stats and Nature instead of IVs, Nature, and Base stats.

>unknown young age, probably something like 3-4
>still can't wipe my ass
>taking a shit
>dad wipes, but I wasn't done, so I squeezed another turd in his hand holding toilet paper as he was wiping me

>fucking 8 years old and the teacher thinks i cant fucking spell cow
and Chaos look nothing like cows, she probably thought you were retarded

The fuck? My version of RE1 never had the half eaten head rolling on the floor.

Both are not possible for me.
I recently tried jacking off by not using my hands, but by milking my prostate by fingering myself or shoving my toothbrush up my ass. Felt good and I might advance and get a dildo.

at least pretend you were playing a video game whilst it happened

when I was a kid I played through entire pokemon games with just the starter. I still don't know how I beat brock with just pikachu

autism

>12 yr old me
>plays vice city stories on psp
>I tried to do boomshine mission countless times
>finally I am close to do it
>WASTED
>dropped psp on ground and stepped on it with me heel
>1/3 of screen was working
>insta regret
>dad found out month later,he ordered new screen from internet,he was mad but didn't rage at me.

>be 10 getting bj from brother while playing harvest moon 64
>he's better than me and is more knowledgeable on the game
>keeps stopping to give me advice just as i'm about to cum
>the fifth time i lose it and shove him away and finish the job myself
>he runs crying to my mom
>get told to go to my room and let my brother play
>ruins my farm and plants crops in the shape of a dick in random spots
>tell mom and get grounded for trying to frame my brother

>7 years old
>playing OoT
>just warped to the forest to do something in the Lost Woods
>jump over maze past moblins
>fuck up jump and land right in front of one
>the second i hear them I instantly pause, save, and shut off the n64

where do you think you are? are you that dense?

my first video game was the age of 6, I remember that very well, it was Sega Megadrive at a local VHS store. They asked me what type of game I wanted to play, so I said something like "I want a game about fighting" and they popped Shaq Fu in. I remember it was Shaq Fu because how many fighting games are out there where you play as a black baskeball player?

Australian here, called a mega drive here.

Don't try to say "hurr Durr the 'Murican name is the only right way". Fuck off it's not even an American gadget. It's Japanese.

>6 years old
>go to some youth center after school
>they have an n64 and someone brought SSB
>three other kids are playing it
>try to play it despite only ever playing once before
>pick Yoshi and spam B because i dont know how to smash attack or do much of anything
>leave after one game