Continuation of the weird/bad ports thread

Continuation of the weird/bad ports thread.

Quake 2 was actually ported to the Xbox 360 and packed in with Quake 4's bonus disk.
Had functioning network multiplayer and everything.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=isQnA3kHCP4
youtube.com/watch?v=757lFSxzPxo
youtube.com/watch?v=RBh-vBFeegs
youtube.com/watch?v=pBXVA6Jtu94
itrunsdoom.tumblr.com/
youtube.com/watch?v=vI7tWd7B3iI
youtube.com/watch?v=z5XzEMq_6Co
youtube.com/watch?v=-ut54eYCJds
youtube.com/watch?v=MZ8JQa2A4t0
youtube.com/watch?v=2cg8dc8ZVE8
youtu.be/LkiTbrloZXM
youtube.com/watch?v=V72P9-6S7qM
youtube.com/watch?v=e_BsVfrKWiE
youtu.be/V72P9-6S7qM
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Halo was going to be on the Nintendo DS.
Unfortunately the project got canned early on.

i know its not official, but i still cant believe someone got doom to run on a god dam printer.

Prey on an Iphone

This awful shit also got a lazy DS port.

Quake 2 also has a full set of achievements for a total of:

Zero points. It's the only game in the 360's library like that. This was supposedly done because it was a bonus game and as such, didn't deserve achievement points. Regardless, it and the Orange Box (with 99 achievements) were apparently the games that made Microsoft enact certain achievement policies.

Someone got quake to run on a heart monitor i think.

Bionicle Heroes was a strange game.
Even stranger making the jump to DS.

youtube.com/watch?v=isQnA3kHCP4

>dual wield
>score

looks odd

I believe it was based off of the DS port of Goldeneye: Rogue Agent
Which was an oddity in its own right.

I played all of the fps games on the ds. They were mediocre but fascinating at the same time. It's a shame that Killzone Mercenary was the first and last true Fps experience on the go. Not unless you count those shitty Doom/quake ports on mobile.

Suikoden I and II are on Windows

Is there a link to the first thread?

youtube.com/watch?v=757lFSxzPxo

>unfortunately

Halo would not be what it is today had it been on a handheld.

Okay maybe not Halo today, but Halo 10 years ago.

Donkey Kong country series had very short and very simple ports to GBC under Donkey Kong land titles

They weren't that good but graphically impressive

Woah, now you said that I take it back. Goldeneye DS was fucking fantastic.

It was an oscilloscope and all they was doing is using it as a display. Assuming we're talking about the same thing, it's really embarrassing you don't know what an oscilloscope is or what that clip was showing.

Anyone have tried to play this on non tegra device?

That's was a phone game. I loved that shit.

Ew, just imagining M&B with touch controls makes me feel ill.

That was my first gba game.i just thought it was really cool that there was a fully 3d game on a handheld.

Even though it was very plain.

Well we're getting... Splatoon

There's a phone version of stalker, at least a demo video is on YouTube. Looks bizarre

People make doom run on all kinds of stupid shit. The mac book pro touch bar, the mini nes, those leapfrog educational toys, plane in-flight entertainment systems, particle size analysers...

Resident Evil 4...
On the Zeebo.

youtube.com/watch?v=RBh-vBFeegs

What are you some kinda nerd

You need a gamepad to play the game. There is no touch control.

Here you go.

...

The last thread got archived right after I posted this.
Tony Hawk's Downhill Jam for the GBA.
I love seeing 3D games on the GBA. Low poly shit gets me hard.
youtube.com/watch?v=pBXVA6Jtu94
Pic is the DS version for reference.

>Rated T

I have the Xbone version with about 80 hours logged, it works good and keeps a stable frame rate with 100 units on the map. Never encountered a crash

itrunsdoom.tumblr.com/

>inb4 tumblr
Worth a watch.

The Xboner version of FFXV and KH3. Neither of them have any reason to exist and are just solid proof that making deals before you know how console sales turn out is fucking stupid

I've people run doom on all sorts of shit. The most popular one is a calculator but I've seen a guy get it running on his fridge that had a screen in it.
Someone else got Doom to run on his computer, while playing the game with literal toasters.

youtube.com/watch?v=vI7tWd7B3iI

I still really want to see it ported to a microwave, smart fridge, or pic related

It's not 'weird' weird, but it's worth noting for the single fact that they even managed to pull it off.
It's certainly an experience.

>Tony Hawk's Downhill Jam
Never played it
Never saw gameplay of it
Yet for some reason seing the title of that game fills me with some weird sense of familiarity, like I used to see that title a lot. Weird feeling. Maybe it was heavily featured in some old Nintendo Power magazine that I reread a lot or something

Good framerate for gba 3d. Actually looks playable.

What were they thinking?

>TFW just bought that a second ago

Thanks for the reminder OP. I know Digital Foundry did a analyst of it and gave the port high regards. It even had free shipping.

youtube.com/watch?v=z5XzEMq_6Co
Speaking of weird phone games.

>GPU-powered oven
AMD will blow these fucks out of the water.

also doom 3 somehow

To comment on this, what's interesting about the Sonic Advance port is that it actually runs in Java, and is based off of the actual GBA source. So, it's easier to hack compared to the GBA version.

Unfortunately, it's not the best port.

There's also a SASASR Android port which isn't that great.
youtube.com/watch?v=-ut54eYCJds
And the DS port, which has different music compared to it's console counterparts.
youtube.com/watch?v=MZ8JQa2A4t0

...

I remember seeing that at the rental store as a kid, never did rent it though. I imagine it has to play like shit on the 64

Gamecom game was worse

These all are really fascinating, really makes you wonder who would give a green light to most of ports mentioned here.

Heard about it running on an atm machine.

this port was weird if you had a stealth unit and other cps where fighting they couldn't kill each other while your unit was in range

...

Duke for GBA is pretty good. One of the 2 decent FPS on the console, the other one is Ice Nine made by the same developers.
If you've ever played N-Gage, the guys also made the best original game in it's library. It was called ashen, if I remember correctly.

Well, if we're talking about weird ports, check this fucker out:
youtube.com/watch?v=2cg8dc8ZVE8

Actualy it's not a port but a different game.

AND Doom 3 collector's edition (original Xbox) came with Classic Doom, which supported 4-player split screen. Pretty cooool

>implying Metroid Prime Hunters multiplayer wasn't the shit

>tfw one of the goriest games of all time has an E rated GBC port

I have that.

Seemed like a good idea at the time when I was young.

Fuck fuck fuck the gamecom, and fuck me as a kid who blindly spent his money on that absolute garbage

I'm any game with screen scroll, the screen just becomes a blurred mess that is impossible to understand. I think this was the first sonic game I owned, and it was basically unplayable because you are blind as long as the screen is scrolling.

Another fun fact: the console came with high score tables for the games, and an address book feature. All data is deleted from the system when the batteries are changed.

They've crammed Halo 2 on that shitty hardware after all.

Not a port. I had the first two; very tricky platformers. Should give them a replay sometime, I remember them being fun.

First one has some funky tracks

youtu.be/LkiTbrloZXM

didn't it have online multiplayer as well? There's a modem jack on it.

HE'S FAST

They ported XCOM EU to the Vita. It's PSN-only, dirt-cheap and virtually unplayable.

How do you make turn base tactics unplayable? you've got a d-pad on that fucker, should play just fine

Xcom was ported to IOS as well. no idea if it's playable though.
>tfw bioshock vita was cancelled and we got a shitty bioshock ios port in return.
fuck you 2K

youtube.com/watch?v=V72P9-6S7qM
Obligatory

The menus barely even react, graphics glitch out of existence, whenever you move a unit the cursor 'fidgets' at the cover and sometimes jumps to an adjacent space the moment the game decides to accept your button press. Not to mention that it constantly crashes later on as soon as there are too many units on the battlefield.

Diablo 1 for Playstation comes to mind first

Quake 2 was on Playstation.
Quake 3 was on Playstation 2.

The early years of EA on Genesis was full of bad PC ports of point and click games. And infamously Dark Castle.

I had all of the turok gameboy games; pretty mediocre, but yeah the music always got me pumped. Same composer for all of them I think.

Dead Space on ios

not a port but a unique entry in the series, apparently it's one of the best mobile games

It's Japan-only but they even ported Ultima Underwold 1 to the PS1. It's actually pretty good and offer graphical improvements.

quake was also on the saturn

Both the PS4 and Pro version microstutters in every second while the Xbone version runs smoothly.

...

Doom on pocketstation. It's almost playable.

Xbox got HL2 and Doom, PS2 got Half Life 1. The power difference there is nuts.

How did they fuck this up so badly?

Yeah,
You can download the app from an alternative repositories.

It just plays sound, nothing (not even manual render.

I heard you can get it running by doing a workaround that is essentially forcing the game to render and it runs at 5 fps but goes to well over 100 fps in menus.

This actually damages people's phones/tablets. But I did that like a year ago, so it may be different now.

God damn it, seeing this again makes me so mad. I could have had a gameboy advance.

Nope. You had to buy an exclusive modem, an online cart, and sign up to their monthly service to upload your high scores and check your fucking email using the Internet you already fucking have.

Paid online for consoles has been a retarded idea since it's inception.

Correction ; I got my years a little mixed. I could have had a GBC instead of this, more like.

Drakengard for cell phones

youtube.com/watch?v=e_BsVfrKWiE

The trick is to be a rich kid that had both. I think I still have mine laying around somewhere. I remember the Mortal Kombat not being terrible.

Hey, I've played that with a friend in co-op. You could use the same character save for both players and dupe stat-enchansing bottles to max out your stats early on.
Shit was pretty fun actually. But those load times were the longest I've ever experienced in my life.

>bought Sansa clip around 8 years ago
>use it frequently
>fell out of car during storm, found it next day in the mud
>still works fine
>can play doom

Fuck Apple

The first time I ever played half life was on a ps2 demo disc.

>Jews designing ovens

youtu.be/V72P9-6S7qM

The cutscenes were am improvement. DX on PC ends way too abruptly without them.

>Improvement
>First cutscene isn't even in Versalife

And i thought genesis version was bad...

PS2 Half-Life was improved over PC version though.

I remember I thought I was hot shit running linux and playing Doom on my iPod photo in high school.

The fact that this was ported out of the office...

Downhill Jam was a level in THPS1.