>And because it's so cool, it pains me to say that Geralt might be the lamest protagonist I've ever controlled. I know. He's got those scars and that white hair, and all of the characters around him are idiots in comparison to him. But every interaction that Geralt has with a woman who isn't screaming "THAT SWAMP BEASTIE STOLE ME HUSBAND AND ME CHEESES" is painful. Geralt eyefucks everything in a dress, and can't go a minute without uttering a sultry "Hmmm" grunt. And for someone who makes a big deal about wanting to get his wife back, all of Geralt's dialogue options fall into the category of "Fuck Now" or "Fuck Later."
>A cool thing in Red Dead Redemption was the fact that badass John Marston, when he wasn't shooting every misdemeanor factory in New Mexico and standing up against those who would eat babies, wanted nothing to do with the requisite prostitutes that Rockstar Games shoves into every project. Grand Theft Auto added countless ways to sleep with and then murder sex workers, because haha, I am 12 and sex is never. But John Marston had a moral code. Other main characters in the game would hit on John, and he'd tell them that while he was flattered, his dick should stay desolate for the time being. That's a cool character trait. Way better than Geralt "I love my wife but I'll send you a dick pic three sentences into the conversation" of Rivia.
>Sure, all the sleeping around kind of bites you in the ass in the end, but Geralt is such a wish-fulfillment character that Witcher III may as well be renamed That Girl In Your Accounting Class Is Secretly Super Into You As Well. When he doesn't bone, he gets just on the cusp of it, and all of the cleavage zoos in Novigrad pout about it. "Well, Geralt, you're missing out." And your only option is to continue with the assumption "God, I'm so cool. Married and all the ladies still want me."
They nailed it. Witcher fans are such virgin nerds
Jayden Green
Why dont you just post the original link you autistic piece of subhuman trash?
Sebastian Taylor
Okay
Juan Hernandez
Aren't witchers meant to have a really high sex drive or something like that
Angel Smith
Because they don't deserve the views
Brandon Phillips
I wish double reports existed.
Juan Wilson
>linking to cracked
Caleb Cooper
oh look, it's this thread again
Jaxson Phillips
They're sterile, so that should mean they want to have sex less
But you know, Mary Sue Geralt
Ryder Garcia
This person needs to stop obsessing over breasts and start slaying some beasts.
>Pick all the options that make Geralt a slut >Look everyone, Geralt can't keep it in his pants!!!!
Jordan Flores
What he doesn't realise is that it's okay when a male character is a mary sue
Ethan Rivera
I didn't play w3 all the way through cause it's shit but does any girl ever shoot geralt down?
Chase Powell
...
Kayden Jenkins
>gets called a freak by every other person >Mary Sue
What did he mean by this?
Cooper Parker
No, I'm genuinely curious. AFAIK, they all go like this >hey geralt, wanna bone? >yea, lets bone
Jaxson Reyes
>>gets called a mutant by every other person >>Not a Mary Sue
What did YOU mean by this?
Levi Rogers
I'm sure those mean names really hurt him while he's fucking their wives in the ass.
David Ward
The great thing about being a Mary Sue like Geralt and Wolverine, is that you can be called names but act like a pious badass with no repercussions for your actions
Cameron Collins
Polish women are massive sluts, it's understandable that CDPR doesn't know any better.
Matthew Kelly
Sterile doesnt mean you lose sex drive, it means you cant reproduce, Geralt is not the only witcher who fucks a lot, Eskel fucks lots of succubi and Lambent is a deviant too.
Charles Johnson
>but act like a pious badass with no repercussions for your actions
But there are plenty of repercussions for Geralt's actions, often shit he did not intend.
That's the entire point of the games.
Daniel Phillips
>Says that while he has two love interests that want his dick no matter what he does
Mmmmhmmm.
Dylan King
>Being so butthurt about a 2 year old game that you have to post about it 10+ times a day
Aaron Russell
You can't have both though.
Multiple women wanting your dick is not uncommon among attractive males.
Nicholas Hughes
You missed that point perfectly.
Carter Peterson
Deal with it.
Brandon Wright
ONE OFF
Oliver Gomez
That girl who wants you to train her in swordfighting
Carter Reed
Does anything actually happen to geralt? I know people around him die and get fucked up but does any of that shit happen to him? I remember in W2 he gets "tortured" by some guards using him as a punching bag. Meanwhile in W3, Triss can have some of her fingernails ripped out.
Joseph Butler
>>Multiple women wanting your dick is not uncommon among attractive males.
But Witcherfags said he was an UGLY MUTANT FREAK that only sleeps with the dregs of society like hags and witches and shit!
Witcherfans: Can't keep their story straight on their Mary Sue
What point did I miss fag? That nothing actually effects him in the long run because he's a "badass mercenary who plays by his own rules"
Joshua Sanchez
...
Nathaniel Young
Guess I better just kill myself now.
Ethan Reed
Do you get the option to proposition her? I thought geralt thought of her like a daughter.
Henry Hughes
No I don't mean Ciri. There's a noble girl who wants to learn swordfighting in the city. Iirc Geralt doesn't proposition her, she shoots him down before he can. She was teasing before he accepts to teach her, too.
Sebastian Nguyen
The game is 2 years old now. That's fucking old in game years.
People have had plenty of time to decide if it's good or shit.
Why do you feel like you're going to change their opinions?
Joseph Price
dubs were disabled ages ago
and technically are the gets
Jacob Rogers
>That nothing actually effects him in the long run >nothing effects him because he still gets laid
Liam Kelly
Yeah that totally absolves Geralt of being a shitty Mary Sue
Charles Sullivan
He can get sent to prison in blood and wine dlc. He gets kidnapped and sold as a slave in heart of stone too.
Josiah Clark
>Yen >wife wow, some fucking twat jumped on a bandwagon to complain that a game he barely played is problematic I sure am glad this has been brought to our attention
Also, apart from generic prostitutes, I can think of maybe five characters you can sex? In a 70+ hour game.