Inb4 6/10 on Polygon because muh damsel in distress

inb4 6/10 on Polygon because muh damsel in distress

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>Pros: Zelda finally wears pants!

>Cons: Link has a penis!

inb4 there's some big twist like you get to play as Zelda and literally every non professional reviewer runs to twitter to spoil the entire game because of it.

DUDE GAMERGATE LMAO

They would be the exact kind of losers to give the game a lower score because Zelda's portrayal ended up being "sexist" through their socjus-tinted lens or whatever.

People give Kotaku a lot of shit but honestly Polygon is the worst of the crowd.

Polygon is absolute dog-shit. They don't even hire people who know how to play games.

Epic post. I really like it.

People really are acting like there's some huge breakthrough with the series because she's wearing pants in this one though.

Wearing pants isn't a social justice statement, I don't know why people act like it is. Growing up, I never seen my mom wear a dress in her life. Jeans and boots every day. Most conservative lady I've ever known.

Zelda wearing pants is nothing new

inb4 6/10 on metacritic because muh gameplay

She's a fucking princess for fuck's sake, what do these morons expect?

>link has triforce of courage
does this not help cushion the blow to people that are offended by it being sexist

If Skyward Sword was getting 10/10s everywhere, Breath of the Wild surely will too.

what is there to be in distress for? She's travelling with Link not chained up to a wall waiting for him to rescue her

Is Link's stance a Spongebob reference?

Liar. I see Zelda's pants but not Link's penis.

Is Link's stance a Spongebob reference?

That was before GG

You think that has stopped Polygon, Kotaku and Anita from bitching regardless?

>implying Link isn't huge homo bait and SJWs won't eat it up

WHy does she have 4 eyebrows and a mustache?

Trust me, all the SJWs: Polygon, Kotaku, IGN, EZA, GB etc are all on the warpath after "no female Link"

cannot unsee fuck you user

Does it ever actually end up affecting reviews? I remember how mad they were when FFXV was confirmed to have only male party members and the reason given was something like "boys can't be boys around girls". After the game came out I never heard about that again.

I remember the Polygon review for bayo 2
6/10 too sexy

Were they the ones that watched someone else play re7 for the review?

they complain and when nobody listens to then they just fade away.

I can't see this game getting more than a 8.5 or 9 from most mainstream reviewers honestly, even without damsel in distress complaints. I'm not saying the game won't be fucking great but I expect reviewers to feel underwhelmed with it because they're too used to classical zelda. They're going to complain about the shit like small number of dungeons,weapon durability, no traditional items etc. And while these very well could be legitimate gripes with BotW but I don't see reviewers getting over it even if they work well.

I'm getting the game anyway so it shouldn't bother me, but the extreme amount of shitposting that'll come with an 8.8 or at most 9 will be pretty funny at first but also annoying as hell if I'd want to talk about it on here.

reminder that this is actual Polygon gameplay

i.imgur.com/vo2KHX1.gifv

This is even worse than the DOOM gameplay video they made.

>bomb is detonatable
>meaning that player walked towards the bomb knowingly and then pressed detonate
why

Shitposting about 8.5-9 is admitting Zelda is a quality series desu.

They will accept bucks over their agenda so if Nintendo gives them dosh, don't expect hard feminism

Seriously? Bitch was a ninja in OOT and a pirate in WW.

these designs are shockingly decent for a western made cartoon. Like, they don't completely shit all over the source material. It's like they struck a nice balance of realistic but maintaining the charm of the game.

Love how the chuchus at the end are also dumbfounded at the entire scene.

Nintendo Directs are a response to journalism blackballing precisely because they don't pay for reviews and coverage

It's inevitable user

SHEIK AND TETRA ARE NOT ZELDA, NOT THE SAME PERSON!!!!!! THEY ARE THREE DIFFERENT PEOPLE!!!!!!

Do they really say this?

Pretty sure only nintendo employees could play off the plateau. Polygon is still absolute trash at games though.

True but the derailment is more what I'm talking about. But now that I think about it, shitposting about review scores is gonna be huge no matter what score it gets lel.

Reminder that Donkey Kong Tropical Freeze got bad reviews for being hard.
Reminder IGN uploaded an entire "walktrough" of DKC Returns with all the videos played by the white kong.

Wtf is this even real

>Polygon Zelda Review
>3/10
>Game is filled with unchecked male privilege
>Game is filled with misogyny
>Game has a female character that's occasionally in need of help from a male character. This is literally rape.
>Game is racist because main character is white and has blond hair

And the sad thing is, all of these things will be in their review. I'm not even joking.

inb4 the Switch ends up bombing like the WiiU

Very real
youtu.be/tAE9bJMWsu0

>link is master race
that only just crossed my mind right now

There are people who use these reviews to judge their next purchases.

>whining about scores before they even happen

Why are you all such insecure cunts?

Nioh got copped by Polygon too and got a 5.5 for it's difficulty.
Polygon is terrible, I don't even think they beat the game.

That's some tender butt hurt you've got there my friend.

Have you thought about sitting on a pillow? Perhaps that would ease your pain.

Never played return what's the meaning of white kong?

>unable to get through the first area
>THE GAME WORLD IS TOO SAMEY

fuck you made me check
they gave it an 8

If you lose too many times you can activate the white kong, a cpu to play the lebel for you.

BUT MUH REVIEWER BOOGYMAN

Why does it matter? She's shown getting shit done regardless.

If you die too many times the game offers the "super guide" which plays the level for you. It doesn't get any collectibles and the level is still marked as uncompleted but you get to go forward

JUST

They couldn't have even done a proper walkthrough that's just insulting.

Liberals truly are lunatics.

You mean more like inb4 the review isn't ready at launch because it's too hard. It's not like Polygon can actually play games.

only white people(and their minions) care about this shit

I'm not even sure you could call them regular old Liberals. It seems like the equivalent of the alt-right on the left, just full retardation.

Heh dude just be a true neutral lke me

>its a real article

I can't stop laughing

Why are you a blue bear?

The funny thing is that there will be multiple people at that site that will say they like it but the review will be given to the one person who dislikes it for its social values.

Considering the amount of retardation though, the liberal party in general just seems to push itself to further along. The alt-right is a response to them after all
I took a political college class at one point, and believed at the time that it was the right becoming extremists. But slowly after getting out of it I realized the left is far crazier

Well they are main voice of the left, which is why it's in utter shambles.

They're not liberals in the traditional sense though, you're right.

>if you're not one of the most ridiculous retarded extremes then you're neutral
What deeply simplified world do live in

... It's a game about the middle ages...

...

IT BROKE NEW GROUND

Well the main voice of either side is the crazies who make themselves announced, and the far right has more people in it than the left. Most people revolving around the middle don't give enough of a shit to do anything pronounced, at least that's my take on things. Political leaders and their followers are even realizing this and trying to attack the people who support the opposition rather than push why they're a better candidate, which is part of the reason why things have been such a shit show lately.

>the far right has more people in it than the left
What did he mean by this?

Far left, not just left. Like i said there's a lot of people closer to the middle, but the left has less on the far side than the right so they are out voiced by the people who give enough of a shit to push their agenda hard.
At least that's what I've been seeing where I live and work, I might be wrong.

But the far left are the ones pushing their agenda hard
t. riots and protests all over

Polygon gave Bayo 2 a 7.5. You're right about why it dropped 2.5 points, mind you.

>people dont fall into categories based on overly simplified left vs right dichotomy

The boy is learning. There's retarded idiotic people that dogmatically adhere to ideology and there's reasonable people

I guess that's true, but there's a lot of people in those riots who also are just like "well shit does kinda suck, and I'm in the area". That's pretty much what happened with my sister in New York and all her friends. They are far from political extremists, but just think the state of things are a little messed up so they joined in for like a couple of days then went back to normal life.

...

The far left are the rioters. The people more close to the middle are just peacefully protesting because Trump is that shitty of a president.

>term is bad
>not because thousands upon thousands of europeans used to yell it whilst cutting down vast swathes of brown people in the middle east
>but because some mean people said it on the internet

>Protesting the quality of a president
>before he's in power

Professing to be part of a nebulous group where more than half the other members probably disagree with you on a fundamental level on a lot of issues is the definition of retarded, yes. "Left" and "right" are not unified clusters of ideas, they're football teams in a terrible game no one smart gives a fuck about

Thats not what a centrist is.

Wow...so sensible. So reasonable.

Thank you for reminding me of that Bayonetta 2 review that docked 25% of the overall score not because of any objective flaws with the game design/performance, but because of a subjective issue over something that was basically cosmetic.

You could have a game that's basically the Second Coming of Christ in video game form and have it get crucified because the reviewer didn't like the shade of blue used for the main character's pants or other trivial bullshit that has nothing to do with actual game design. Fuck, I'm not even into Bayonetta's brand of sexy and it even kinda turns me off, but that doesn't change the fact that it's an incredibly good game.

on that topic

P R O B L E M A T I C

An exquisite response, I dare say it might even be considered epic

polygonorrhea

I don't think it's epic at all.

How about "slightly epic"? That sounds very sensible I must say.

Looks mediocre as fuck desu

Why do you care? Polygon, their opinions, and any journalist associated to them aren't relevant regardless of the game.

Don't give them attention, they feed off of it.

>meanwhile PS4 exclusives with objectively worse gameplay and even more sexist design choices get off scot free

How much of a smug piece of shit do you need to be to draw this?

Well is there a reason why the kittens were being put in a blender? I mean over population of stray cats have actually been the cause of multiple species of birds going extinct. Not to mention the parasites and disease stray animals carry into suburban areas. Maybe ecologists could find a way to curve the population into lower numbers, or a more humane to kill the cats until we can.
>sensible people around the middle.