HORIZON ZERO FUN

Continue laughing at this game

azubu.tv/HorizonBroPS4

HELLO WHERE ARE DE WHITE MEN :DDDDD

NO STOP THIS STREAM

THE UNLIMITED POWER OF THE QUAD

Is Helis voiced by Crispin Freeman or am I baka?

How utterly shit

>that pop-in though

anyone else really hate white people after watching this game?

This is some Austin Powers tier shit Mr. Helis.

HOLY SHIT GAMEPLAY
FINALLY

>all halves of nature my dudes

during that cutscene was the audience both floating and popping in

reminder that aloy is supposed to become playstations iconic mascot

Literally the Egg Cerberus from Sonic 06

IT'S CHAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BREAK ALL THE PILLARS BOSS FIGHT

Are they seriously doing this?

HELIS DID NOTHING WRONG
Also this boss fights is fucking GoW tier

...

CRASHING YOUR LEATHER CLUB
WITH NO SURVIVORS

Oh my god she literally doesn't shut the fuck up

TALKING TO MYSELF HURR DURR

>that fucking title drop
i cant breathe

Previously on Horizon Dawn Z(ero)
>The main villain has captured our protagonist
>He intends to burn her to death
>JK he threw her into an arena to fight the machines she's been killing all game after a big speech about fate dooming her to die
WILL OUR EMPOWERED HEROINE SURVIVE, OR WILL STREAMBRO BLUNDER AGAIN!? TUNE IN TO FIND OUT.

This protagonist makes me appreciate Link a lot more. I mean yeah Link goes HYAAAAAAA a lot but at least he isn't making a smart-ass comment about literally every little thing he stumbles across.

WHY PUT HER BOW IN A BOX NEXT TO HER CAGE? WHY NOT JUST GIVE IT TO YOUR SOLDIERS?

How do you fuck up a game with such a good premise and aesthetic? Everything is so fucking janky.

HOLY FUCK WHY IS GETTING THE BOW BACK A CUTSCENE LMAO

She's explaining how to do a pillars boss fight? Does she really think we're that stupid?

It is.

REEEEEEEEEE USE THE LOWER HOLE YOU STUPID COW

WHAT

NOW YOU'RE JUST A BIG

DUMB

TARGET

>better get out of the way
>get down
>that canister on his belly
>looks important
why doesnt she just shut up?

Her forward dive roll is absurd.
It reminds me of the sprinting dodge roll you can do in Spiderman 2 which can also be chained for comical effect

>smirks
>cut to her with all her shit

god this was rushed to be out before zelda, wasnt it?

Judging how the streamer had difficulty doing a "WAIT A MINUTE, THAT CARD" puzzle WITH audio help, yes.

this is a modern game

>GUESS WHO GOT HER WEAPONS BACK?
>dies immediately

Figures.

THE SUN WON

NIGGA DID YOU JUST DIE AGAIN

Okay in all seriousness, has this game received positive feedback from these "early copies"?

That shit is infuriating.

>oh so you managed to reduce boss HP ?
>great, here weapon for you

STFU, fucking ugly bitch

A group of grown adults made this.

the sound mixing is atrocious

GET ON THE HYDRA'S BACK

>don't even have to figure out weak spots
>she narrates it for you

GOOD GAMe

>Lance Reddick
>Cripsin Freeman
Fuck this gay earth for putting good voices in shit games

This shindig is most certainly not the bomb diggity.

>Those fucking constant VRRREEPEPEPEPEPPEPIT noises

Does she ever shut the fuck up?

Jesus Christ, Aloy just constantly tells the player how to win.
Someone made it like this on purpose, but then again how else can you get people that don't play games to play through it?

AHAHAHAHA HE DIED

SHE IS JUST SAYING HOW TO KILL THE BOSS
WHY EVEN BOTHER JUST HAVE GLOWING RED SPOTS FOR ALL THE EFFORT THAT IT'S WORTH

sjw kys

SHE'S STUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK STUCKKKKKKKKK

STUPID ARGHAGRHAGRAHAGHRAGRRL

She's quite the chatterbox.

THINKING IS TOO HARD
I NEED TO KNOW WHERE TO GO
WHERE TO HIT
WHAT TO DO AT ALL TIMES
VIDEO GAMES

...

How would plot progression occur if people behaved rationally?

They're probably hoping Zelda is going to dominate the internet and drown out all threads like these.

reviewers are a fucking joke

It's fucking Ashley Burch, of course she doesn't.

She's a woman you silly man, she should always speak her mind at all times without even pausing to breathe.

...

M O N S T E R

H
U
N
T
E
R

...

So this is why it's a PS4 exclusive, because it would be over in seconds with kb+m

Somebody tell Michael Bay he needs to sue for this overuse of his Transformers noise

Yeah it's just fucking astounding. They are trying to get money from people that don't play video games. How can they possibly be so stupid?

Honest thoughts on Ashly Burch's performance?

i know its a bow & arrow and all but it sounds really unsatisfying to fire

this guy can't aim worth shit

>pls buy we progressive

i'm a reviewer and i'd give this game a 1/10 if i gave enough of a shit to get a review copy

Its pretty good. Couldn't care less for the character though.

I want less of it.

>slides in
>cutscene starts and shes standing up

It's fine, it's the script/writing that's retarded

>rapid fire animation where the arrow is never even set before being fired

the fuck is this. Pathetic

>Zoom in
>Somehow Aloy is the same size

Sasuga western devs

Holy shit all the fucking popin in the cutscenes, What a load of garbage

rapid fire arrows

I fucking hate stupid boss that only have a lot of HP and do nothing.

The only praise I see going towards this game are from the overly optimistic, paid shills and new game so gud faggots

this nigga and his photo mode

Whats with the streamer taking all these retarded photos?

SONNA BAKANA

why can white men ever recover?

SHE WASN'T EVEN DRAWING HER BOW ALL THE WAY WHAT THE FUCK

>that crafting on the spot tomb raider tier
>she's just do ani-canceling attack
HOLY MOLLY FUCK

Exceedingly meh, sounds like she's bored the whole time.

>I bet I could smash that rock with a bomb!
>That giant glowing eye looks important...
>Hmm... I bet I could hookshot up to that ledge.
>All right! Just one more hit and this boss is finished!

Why make interesting combat and movement options if you can just roll and spam arrows instead?

Fuck this game homie.

>Tune in
>Been thinking of getting this game
>Watch

I don't see any gameplay though.
And whats with these fucking Log things every 2 minutes?

>COME GET ME YOURSELF
Oh shit, it's not like I'm at an advantage or anything tehee

One girl reviewer was praising it because once she learned how to hack, she could let robots do all the gameplay and go back to texting on her phone.

PERSON OF COLOR COMES TO SAVE THE DAY

>Sony cuts advertising funds

It's garbage, zero emotional delivery, it's like they took her first effort that didn't have any fuckups.

My guess the director didn't want to mansplain and get fired.