Crusader Kings II

>Crusader Kings II

Do I actually need to have autism to be able to play this?

yes

Only if you want to do big boy shit. Best game is to fuck around as a vassal that's safe and don't do shit but see the events and give your kids retarded names.

Ck2 is entry level autism though

>It's autism if it takes more then five minutes to learn a game

>all the autist asspain ITT

i became king of ireland once.

No, because if you play as a duke or some low level shitter you literally can't lose most of the time - even when you're a complete bellend.

it's easy af once you learn the rules

takes 100+ hours to learn how to play tho

How is CK2 autistic?
it's fun

CK2 ain't shit. If you want real autism go try to play Aurora.

>ywn try to kill yourself to prevent yourself from discovering your plot to kill yourself

why even live lads?

It's simple as hell. Fuck, you just need the patience to get through the tutorials. Probably not even that. Your average Total War game requires more brain cells to play.

If you play it like it was intended then yes
And that is you launch the game, get mad at all the historically inaccurate meme shit, quit and go on a historical research/reading binge on the internet while occasionally shitposting on /gsg/

I believe /tg/ had a roleplay thread kinda like that once.

who's hyped for the norman portraits? fuck they look good

people play tutorials?

>tfw bought CK2 so long ago that if I were to buy all the DLC now it would cost me triple the amount of the original game
Shit like this is what makes pirates out of honest folk.

>four posts in
>only one of them is asspained
>>all the autist asspain ITT
I think you're the autism, user

this literally never happens in game though.

I once had a courtier trying to fug me event trigger on the exact same day she died

No, but you can't be retarded.

CK2 is the easiest entry to get into. The only real nuance and difficulty is working out which marriage will yield you the best future land-gains. Other than that it's very streamlined for ease of use.

Compared to EU or HoI it's a cakewalk of simplicity. Maybe a little over something baseline like Stellaris.

It certainly helps.

The men looks good, the women's face is weird

>implying anything is easier than EU4

>do I need autism to play The Sims:Medieval Times
Maybe you do.

pretty much

>do i need autism to enjoy the first good game ive ever played in my life

why didnt you just stay on your console?

i think the women are hot af

german portraits aren't bad either

CK2 is easier. I still love it the most though, it just has so many great avenues for ways to be a cruel asshole. I wish they'd hurry up already and release a DLC for slaves/slave markets.

>Blessings my wife is pregnant! But I thought I was away...?

Until your Liege revokes your Titles

Nah nigga just use cheats

That's why I only marry old hags and legitimize all my bastards

Why do newfags keep thinking their wife is a slut when their character has the paranoid trait?

Name one better game

>she's pregnant while your character's in prison

I agree, they look artistically fine and hot, but something feels graphically weird for me

man THICC is attractive

dem child bearing hips

Why do the Greeks have the most bangin' chicks?

Its essentially the best RPG, not really a grand strategy.

Watch people play, the tutorials are hot garbage.

It's not actually a game since you can't win or lose.

It's pointless self-masturbation

I love this game. This Henry invaded me, now then he died in my prison and his daughter is my bitch.

>Check wife.
>Game now gives her a bonus for refusing to cheat on you and disallows anyone from trying to years.

About fucking time.

what is highlevel autism?

What's all the shitposting on Sup Forums today? Every single thread's getting blasted by faggots and the subhumans who give them (You)s.

i just want to read about vidya

someone told me dominions 4 or w/e is pretty high in autism

No you just can't be a complete retard. Take the time to read wikis, you can do everything at a snails pace if you need to.

>Arrange marriage when girl is 14.
>She has lots of great stats and genius perk.
>She turns into the ugliest fucking adult portrait.

I fucking wish I was a normie retard who wasn't able to get good at simple fucking games so I could just play this easy shitty game and have fun instead of min-maxing constantly and winning after 40 years

Comfiest game ever

>started has haesteinn of nantes
>prepared invasion of Africa, carved myself a nice duchy in Tunis
>converted to kebab for best CBs
>still norse for best raiding
>right next to the pope and venice

fuck i love ck2

Make way for the king of perpetual betas
>version 0.41

Hearts of Iron II and III with mods

>agot mod
>defiance of duskerdale
>get imprisoned after the reach, the vale and the riverlands join me
>Blessings my wife is pregnant! But I thought I was away...?
>she never cheated on me and i die in prison thinking i got cucked

Happens so often.

I ain't bringing in no fat genes into my dynasty. Fuck that shit.

Speaking off, anyone else sometimes purposefully marry someone with a different facepack just to get some variety for your characters? Like I'll play a few generations as Greeks, then maybe some generic European generations, then some Norse and so on.

I always quit before I blob even half as much as that. I enjoy the uphill struggle better. It's not as fun when you get so big you can just steamroll the combined armies of the rest of the Christian world.

2 isn't autism even with mods. 3 on the other hand is. That's pretty much the definition of autism because you're just doing things for the sake of doing those things, you basically get nothing out of it.

Its why you should start roleplaying as your ruler, and watch your empire fall apart.

Or switch characters.

>play as a pious, strong, and loyal duke to the king of lombardy
>be a knight on the same level as Galahad according to an event
>be the most popular fucker in the realm, everyone loves me more than the king
>have a lovely family, wife never cucks me while every other whore in the realm has lover's pox
>fast forward and my waifu decides to have an exciting night with me
>fucking die of a heart attack

That's not how the best character in that entire run was supposed to die.

Life is cruel, senpai.

This

I think II/Arsenal of Democracy with C.O.R.E. are both somewhere on the autism spectrum, but III is weapon's grade potato gurgling. And I fucking love all it.

What the fuck was that?

Not to mention the game just because tedious since it becomes an endless circle of
>give all your gold to vassals so they won't revolt
>they revolt anyways
>spend the next years getting it under control
>finally realm is back at strength, time to conquer something
>character dies
>repeat

I mean, I guess it's pretty realistic and it makes the game harder. But sometimes I just want to conquer all of Europe as Rome but it's just not fun.

I left my phone open on Sup Forums and retards who don't like me think I'm browsing it so they shit up the board.

True story, the tale of realautists agents.

>Not picking your vassals based on their traits
Like content does great things for you.

Ever hear of Aurora?

This game is easy as fuck
I am interested
tell me more

As I said. It's not exactly fun to spend most of the game just managing your vassals endlessly.

Can't really fault it to much. It's dynasty simulator rather than a blobbing sim, but eh.

It's weird. but the fact that it has no unique graphics what so ever makes it more appealing.

To be fair once you have a decent retinue you'll never get revolts again

The most annoying thing right now is having to pick the education focus of every fucking kid in my court

I can't even get a decent retinue up because they are constantly getting slaughtered by the constant revolts.

do you marry your close family to vassals? it's the best way to keep them out of factions

Died happy at least.

I generally do. Maybe I'll send off one of them for an alliance.

But it's more the sheer number of them that gets frustrating when you play a blobbed nation.

>Been trying all game to get an inbred heir for laughs and the achievement.
>Can't manage to do it at all. Relatives all admonish me for even trying to bang them.

How do I pull this shit off?

It's a grand strategy game that is incredibly complex, has minimal graphics (Basically none) and requires the use of many, many spreadsheets just to get even the most basic things done.

Think of it like the dwarf fortress of grand strategy games.

be attractive
I find it quite easy to bang my own sister.

Someone help me

I still have no idea what the fuck I'm doing in this game. I get the whole marrying into better families thing but I can never conquer anything and when I do eventually get big my kingdom explodes into a million different nations when my main dude goes belly up.

How do I stop my sons from immediately going for each other's throats and ruining all of my carefully obtained clay?

Seduction focus and try being more diplomatic and handsome than an inbred peasant.

>declare any war against any muslim at any time
>they pull a 20+k doomstack out of their ass

it's so annoying, I know Swedes have a hard on for everything arabic but they went way far.

Change the succession laws. I'm guessing gavelkind is what you're using. You want to implement either tanistry, electoral monarchy, or primogeniture.

I suggest you to consult the CK2 wiki.

Just cheat. That's what I do.

This desu

Implement primogeniture asap ( or just get out of gavelkind )

Learn how to push a claimant's claim to gain territory

Really though this game is all about getting used to the UI

One son until you can get primo succession.
The best way to do this is to seduce a wench and legitimize the bastard.
If you want a wife for stats then marry an old hag and pray she doesn't get pregnant

idk why Paradox made the CK2 UI uglier and disjointed and uncomfortable over time

>but I can never conquer anything
When you start out it takes time, but as you grow it becomes easier.

Also, marriages is the easiest way to get a lot of land quick.

As for your land splitting and your sons fighting, change the inheritance laws, most countries start with gavelkind which is shit. I usually goes for Ultimoginiture(youngest inherits all) until I can get Premoginitre(Oldest Inherits all). I hear Elective is pretty good as well but for me it usually doesn't go to well.

I can never build up succession laws fast enough, he always croaks before I can get out of it.

I'll try that, but my sons have a tendency of dying for stupid reasons. Do you think it'd be easier to start out with a son and then just never marry using the ruler maker?

Change succession to primogeniture.

Warning: this will upset young children.

My suggestion is getting a high diplomacy child so that he'll most likely be able to implement primogeniture with the vassals.

quality heir

just fuck my shit up in a single generation

That could work.
For added insurance have one son and one daughter (if your country is agnatic cognatic). The diseases in this game are fucked up now.

What DLCs do you have?
I always, ALWAYS start with a learning focus to get culture points.
You will have enough points within two lifetimes to get primo succession with two learning focused leaders.

>I can never build up succession laws fast enough, he always croaks before I can get out of it.

That's just part of the course. You have to remember that the game is about roleplaying and player made stories more than just blobbing. You are supposed to lose land and adapt and stuff like that.

Instead of seeing it as you losing the game, see it as your dynasty's story taking an interesting new turn.

With the current DLCs they made it so you can have tons of good traits if you try.

That or get yourself killed

>I can never build up succession laws fast enough
How? I mean, how long do you even have to wait to change it after the start of the game? 5-10 years? That's nothing. You can fast forward through most of that.

They need to fire whoever makes portraits now becaue he gives everyone painted on fish eyes and they all look like pixelated jpgs. The finno-urgic portraits are fucking attrocious.

At least this isn't your heir.

Fucking Varangians man.

I know it's pretty fedora but can you play a pagan or something and kill christianity?

he was leading a 200 troop against a 20k arab doomstack in jerusalem and I didn't manage to get him killed, meanwhile the council is dismantling my well earned realm.

Yeah you can kill Christianity with several religions not just pagan ones.

Norse, west african, aztec etc.

You just reminded me that I need to do a Jewish take over europe run,.