Nintendo BTFO by Wired

Nintendo BTFO by Wired

He is just crying about muh left joycon
Disregard until its confirmed consumer units after patch also have the problem

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I've never had my fingers on this console, and it already appears to me that it isn't finished.

Why is that?

fake news site begging for clicks with clickbait

how the fuck do you do you patch hardware 1-2 weeks before consumer launch.

they'll just patch in the fixes

Controllers come with firmware these days and the issue is just weak signal, this is a very easy fix and we know nintendo is aware of it already.

>fake news site

signal strength of the joycons are handled in firmware

IM SORRY PLEASE TELL ME HOW A WEAK IR SIGNAL FROM A CONTROLLER IS FIXED VIA SOFTWARE. DOES THE JOY CON HAVE INTERNAL STORAGE ITSELF TO STORE SAID FIRMWARE?

>Wired
Is this some time travelling shit? I literally haven't heard anything from Wired in a full decade. What's next, a review on MySpace?

Holy shit this damage control.

they're one of the last tech sites to have a physical publication.

>Some random fuckhead on a dying website that thrives on clickbait has an issue with the joycon
>All of a sudden everyone and their fucking brother is having issues with the joycons
>Turns out this "issue" only happens if you play a significant distance away from the console with it shoved up your ass
>All of a sudden we're in this arms race of bullshit "BTW GUISE DA SWEECH IS SECRETLY AWFUL" articles
>HOLY SHIT DID YOU KNOW IF YOU JUST SMACK AT IT LIKE A DRUNKEN APE IT'LL FALL OVER
>FUCK ME SIDEWAYS DID YOU KNOW IF YOU JUST YANK THE FUCKING JOYCONS OUT BY FORCE YOU CAN BREAK THEM

Could you just imagine that kind of shit with anything else?

>Oh my god guys this is crazy, did you know if you slam your laptop closed you can crack the screen, fucking wow nobody told me I should treat my electronics delicately

Even if this thing DOES launch a complete turd, I guess we're just going to ignore that every console launch has always had some kind of shaky bullshit like ALWAYS ON, FIVE HUNDRED AND NINETY NINE DOLLARS, RRoD, people hurling Wiimotes like retards, etc. and shitpost extra hard because it's Nintendo.

"random fuckhead"
kohler has been Wired's tech editor for 10+ years.

He gave the Wii and Wii U glowing reviews in spite of Ninty's bullshit.

He's the only person you fags should take advice from.

>IR signal
Bluetooth you moron. Ps3 at launch had similar issues. You just need to up the ampage to the chip to broadcast a stronger signal. Power is controlled through firmware. That's how electronic devices can have variable brightness levels. Software can effect hardware.

Take a fucking comp sci class sometime you retard.

yes, a very small amount. your XBOne controller has it too

OUCH!

I was originally talking about "lolicon means huge titties right" on Kotaku because this all goes back to him

>power is controlled through firmware

DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU ARE FUCKING SAYING YOU IGNORANT RETARD

You are too invested in MUH NINTENDO.
You are sucking their cock so slurpy and deep that you wrote an entire fandrone dicksucker shitfit rant.
You need help.

You may actually be retarded or know nothing about wireless components, stay with your shillstation 4 and shitpost about all the exclusives you definitely own

I could not give any kind of a fucking shit less about any specific company. I play all video games. I just think it's fucking stupid that Nintendo seems to be the only one who ever gets singled out for this stupid shit.

Nah it seems pretty obvious some people are having problems with it.

What puzzles me is why hasn't Nintendo said ANYTHING about this? Are they trying not to bring attention to it or something? It's unnerving.

I have serious trouble spending $400~ on the Switch knowing this might be an issue and not knowing it can/will be fixed via a firmware update.

How many memes words are in this post

How the flying fuck do you think overclocking is done on PC?
Do you think we open it up and solder on some capacitors?

No. It's all done through software. We increase the voltage and clock speed through the UEFI.

Now fuck off retard

>he literally thinks the controller runs on magic

Only seems to be happening in America. I have not seen a single article come out of any other country.

How many goddamn tours has Nintendo taken this thing on and all of a sudden it's now a problem?

you don't. Nintendodrones are this retarded and desperate.

>why would they want us to do that
Because nobody check wired even the verge is more mainstream

...yes

I'm not sure what's the worst thing about this post. The belligerency, the ignorance, or the CAPS LOCK abuse?

>physical publication
Yep, definitely some time travelling wizardry. Do you still use AskJeeves or Lycos instead of Google? If not, why would I pay attention to a forgotten relic of a bygone era like Wired?

B-but Sup Forums is nintendogaf, no one EVER shittalks Nintendo here!

I thought it was funny that giant bomb found it surprising that dropping the Switch caused the joycon locks to break.

If you drop any electronic something is guaranteed to become damaged. Carpeted floor or not.

>when the bugs are ironed out
>when the software runs properly

Literally the only thing I've heard about is the joycon desync due to a minor issue that's easily fixed. What the fuck is this clickbait? Why won't he name any of these supposed issues?

>i have no idea what todays firmware cant do
It will only be an issue if the joycons are using max power wich is unlikely given their battery life

It's happened before. Prior to a Day One firmware patch, the Wii U at launch had a major flaw with its online connectivity. You had to mess around with the DNS settings manually for it to connect. Not entirely sure it was a hardware issue though.

The only thing I'll give them is that Nintendo products used to be fucking indestructible.

But I'm also not retarded and know that all the new-age components that get crammed into these machines are a hell of a lot more delicate than shit in the past so SURPRISE, your much more technologically advanced device has less durability than a hunk of plastic with just a board and some transistors.

Kek

>Only seems to be happening in America.

Yeah, and? I don't mean to go all burger on you but America is a pretty big market. Whether it was true or not you'd think they'd say something. We haven't even gotten a "we're looking into it" or anything.

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>that's easily fixed

No one actually knows this, though. Whether it can be fixed via firmware update is unknown and Nintendo hasn't said anything about the subject.

I'd like to think it's an easy fix but what if it isn't?

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Chris Kohler Is not the same person as Jason Schrier.
Are you literally retarded

Yeah, even the 3ds is indestructable