I'm glad they didn't. That way I never have to own a copy of this garbage

I'm glad they didn't. That way I never have to own a copy of this garbage.

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youtube.com/watch?v=SOgf1boxmi4
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That's a pretty good line. Anyway, it's clear more money and effort was spent on branding the thing to superficially bolster the launch lineup than polishing it into a worthy game.

The fact that Nintendo reps recommend playing the game as a drinking game should be very telling of how fun the base game is sober.

>donations are tax deductible
And they say religious people only do good because they're afraid of going to Hell.

what is going on here?

Really, Nintendio is even out of touch for minigames. The creator of the Wii.

it'll sell like hotcakes.

you'll see.

Funny enough Polygon put up a piece yesterday titled 'Even alcohol couldn’t save 1-2-Switch, Despite our best attempts'

>There will never again be a launch title as demonstrative of the console's tech as Wii Sports

>I'm glad they didn't. That way I never have to own a copy of this garbage.
dude, if they had bundeld that game with the console, I would have bought a Switch day-one

I think 1-2 shit is very demonstrative, but Wii sports was demonstrative while also being fun.

>The worst example of this is Table Tennis. Its inclusion should be no surprise given the immense popularity of Wii Sports' tennis mini-game, but 1-2-Switch's insistence on not using the screen for its games (even though they still kind of do) downgrades it to a simple timing exercise. The strength or angle of your stroke doesn't matter because it's all a cheap charade. Who thought it would be a good idea to try and sell the Switch with a mini-game that is inferior in every way to its 11-year-old progenitor?

Goddamn even the similar games are worse than the Wii Sports versions

That's the question fucking everyone is asking. $300 is a decent price for a console, but it's fucking horseshit to not give us a shitty shovelware game like the Wii and Wii U.

What's the correlation between the greentext and your post? Are you implying only religious people donate? Are you implying it's impossible to be religious if you don't donate?

You had to mentally handicapped to not see this game was going to be a tremendous pile of garbage, seriously Nintendo needs to stop trying to replicate the success of Wii Sports

>Insistence on not using the screen
Nintendo continues to make contrived hardware choices and then double down by trying to force them over conventional game playing. If this was Switch Sports and played like a modern Wii sports but utilizing the new hardware, it would have been fine. Maybe even worth buying at retail price

So they basically invested a significant amount of money into these haptic feedback joy-cons, and woefully underutilized them in showing off how they can be used in game form outside of boring as fuck gimmicks.

What a surprise. /s

Today, on Predictable Game Review Scores...
Has GameInformer ever liked a mini-game collection?

I don't get why the fuck they even felt the need to make them in the first place. Hell, why the fuck do we even need rumble anymore? Shit was a goddamn gimmick even when it came out.

>Hell, why the fuck do we even need rumble anymore?

Because Nintendo needs something to try and chase that Wii money which is never coming back

Because Nintendo does NOT want to compete in the same space as Microsoft and Sony, which is high performance hardware. They instead want to "innovate" new methods of playing games--but when paired with woefully underpowered hardware, it makes the game developer choose: a graphically rich title with traditional controls or a graphically poor title with innovative play styles.

Both would have the same amount of budget involved, but the former would sell far better than the latter--because it's more visually consistent and appealing. So the latter will never be properly utilized anyway.

>Hell, why the fuck do we even need rumble anymore?
lol, the same thought Sony with the Sixaxis controller on the PS3...

>insistence on not using the screen

Huh

1. One less game at launch to sell.

2. It probably really does suck and they know it, so they don't want to piss people off. Just let them buy their Zelda

They say it's because 'it's a party game and would encourage more social interaction,' but at a party it's going to be loud and the game relies on audio cues. It's fucking confusing logic

Why wouldn't Nintendo release one casual game in the hopes of enticing the unwashed masses to buy their system? Remember, Wii sold largely on Wii Sports, and sales of more worthwhile titles flowed from that... somewhat.

At least this time it seems they're not going to go whole hog and releasing twenty barely-games this time, and thank goodness. It might lead Ubisoft to follow suit and we all know how wretched that was before.

>Seriously why didn't Nintendo just make this a pack-in title like Wii Sports?

THISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHIS

NINTENDO YOU STUPID COCKY GREEDY FUCKS YOU NEED MORE REASONS FOR PEOPLE TO BUY A SWITCH NOT LESS, YOUR COMPANY IS SINKING.

GET. YOUR SHIT. TOGETHER.

Because Nintendrones will literally buy anything, and if they sell it separately they'll guarantee to sell at least 100k copies on day one simply because the system has nothing to play except Zelda.

>the reviewer on the Game Informer podcast said it would actually be a detriment to the system if it was a pack-in title, because instead of showcasing the possibilities of the console, like Wii Sports, it showcases the problems and shortcomings of the Switch, with the exception of 1 or 2 mini-games

Ouch, this is one of the worst rated launch exclusive titles ever, along Knack and Lair.

>not using the dock to hook it up to a TV
I don't know if the parties you go to are filled with howler monkeys or not, but TV speakers should suffice

bought 1-2 thinking that "heeey, i might bring this to party and actually have fun" but then i realize that the mini games looks cringy on a normal persons perspective..
fuuuckkkkk

>Seriously why didn't Nintendo just make this a pack-in title like Wii Sports?

Yeah that was a big fluke on their part. It's basically a tech demo so for it to not be included makes no sense whatsoever.

Probably because it was so embarrassingly bad that it was better to hide it from the general public.

>but then i realize that the mini games looks cringy on a normal persons perspective..

What are you talking about user?

youtube.com/watch?v=SOgf1boxmi4

>they have music on
>THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP of modern bass
>AYYO YO DAT GIRL YO CROWD PLEAZA UNH HENNESY YEAYUHH BOOTYBOOTYBOOTYBOOTY of ape mating shrieks
>the blingbling wahoo on the piddly TV speakers are completely drowned out

...

I'mdeaf.jpg

Have a great time at the parties man!

I'm sorry to "hear" that user.

Because they think not selling Wii Sports was a mistake and are starting to believe their own hype about it being 'the best selling game of all time'.
They assumed this game would be popular like Wii Sports not realizing most people thought Wii Sports and the Wii were inseperable

>sneaky dice
>it's just indian poker
>except with IYS CYOOBZ :DDD
explain to me what the actual fucking point of this is
a pack of cards costs one dollar

>Deck of cards is a dollar
>individual 1-2 Switch game is $1.78
Eh.

>Take Zen, which has you place a controller on the palm of your hand and then hold still for as long as possible. I actually liked Zen, because if I closed my eyes, I could forget I was playing 1-2-Switch for a few glorious minutes.

Jesus Christ hahah. I'm happy I'm getting a Switch, but this is embarrassing. I honestly can't imagine how Nintendo decided this was a good idea at all, let alone for $50

youtube.com/watch?v=kq24DnMCJZU

Because Nintendo is run by old fucking people; and this is what old people think is cool when it comes to haptive feedback technology in game form.

You HAVE to remember that Nintendo makes it's consoles for Japan FIRST, and then just sells it overseas. It does not take into consideration western markets and their needs at all. On top of that, Japan's population is ever increasingly steering towards old age with birth rates going down. This is the same fucking country where they still use fax machines over email to send documents.

1-2 Switch is literally an old person not familiar with the progress of technology would find mind blowing if they tried it for the first time. But to the average gamer, who has reasonably kept up with the progress of technology, nevermind the hardcore audience, this is made of pure cringe, cancer, and autism all mixed into one package.

It's like one of the first Oculus Rift videos where some dude had his 93 year old grand mother try out a virtual creation of Tuscan. Of course it wasn't photorealistic, but the immersion that VR brings you and to a person who was born 93 years ago. To someone like that VR is like mother fucking Matrix and Star Trek holodeck on your face. It takes away all measures of sense from reality versus virtuality. Same principle here, except there's no VR and to any outside observer looking in, you're left with a sense of amazement--an amazement and disbelief of "who the fuck thought THIS was a good idea?"

And then you realize, "oh right, Nintendo and all the old motherfuckers holding a stranglehold of power at the top."

They didn't need to try hard with that game because they know their fag ass audience will buy whatever they shit out. Same fag ass audience that will gloat about BotW even though they do have a Wii U and didn't need to buy Nintendo's latest hardware for a year or two.

But then again it's not like the PS4 or the Xbone had a stellar launch lineup either. I guess as the years pass it becomes more and more clear that early console adopters are the biggest idiots in the face of the planet.

This actually makes a lot of sense. I'd like to think that the old people in charge would consider listening to advice of younger people, but yeah that really doesn't sound like Nintendo.