>And because it's so cool, it pains me to say that Geralt might be the lamest protagonist I've ever controlled. I know. He's got those scars and that white hair, and all of the characters around him are idiots in comparison to him. But every interaction that Geralt has with a woman who isn't screaming "THAT SWAMP BEASTIE STOLE ME HUSBAND AND ME CHEESES" is painful. Geralt eyefucks everything in a dress, and can't go a minute without uttering a sultry "Hmmm" grunt. And for someone who makes a big deal about wanting to get his wife back, all of Geralt's dialogue options fall into the category of "Fuck Now" or "Fuck Later."
>A cool thing in Red Dead Redemption was the fact that badass John Marston, when he wasn't shooting every misdemeanor factory in New Mexico and standing up against those who would eat babies, wanted nothing to do with the requisite prostitutes that Rockstar Games shoves into every project. Grand Theft Auto added countless ways to sleep with and then murder sex workers, because haha, I am 12 and sex is never. But John Marston had a moral code. Other main characters in the game would hit on John, and he'd tell them that while he was flattered, his dick should stay desolate for the time being. That's a cool character trait. Way better than Geralt "I love my wife but I'll send you a dick pic three sentences into the conversation" of Rivia.
>Sure, all the sleeping around kind of bites you in the ass in the end, but Geralt is such a wish-fulfillment character that Witcher III may as well be renamed That Girl In Your Accounting Class Is Secretly Super Into You As Well. When he doesn't bone, he gets just on the cusp of it, and all of the cleavage zoos in Novigrad pout about it. "Well, Geralt, you're missing out." And your only option is to continue with the assumption "God, I'm so cool. Married and all the ladies still want me."
Defend this, wish fulfillment nerds
Jonathan Murphy
What a salty virgin nu-male. I hope he dies
Justin Thompson
What wife?
Dylan Phillips
>geralt is married
Really?
Also...
John Marston is carrying on the tradition of "no way fag" from Leon, which I find funny.
Carson Myers
>Geralt eyefucks everything in a dress, and can't go a minute without uttering a sultry "Hmmm" grunt. And for someone who makes a big deal about wanting to get his wife back, all of Geralt's dialogue options fall into the category of "Fuck Now" or "Fuck Later." Wtf, i love Geralt now
Jason Russell
>wife >married
What?
You can't even get that much pussy in Witcher 3 compared to the first one, and Geralt is a turbo-autist who mainly gets by because he's good looking and can't breed
Hunter Ortiz
>cracked >some numale faggot
checks out
Jaxon Johnson
>geralt and yennefer are married >they are confirmed very in love and never have doubts at all in their love is this guy projecting or does he not pay attention to the story?
Asher Brown
>cracked.com
No defense neccesary. The offense shit itself out the gate.
Ethan Mitchell
Can't you fuck prostitutes in RDR? And everybody is fucking everything in The Witcher. You play a guy that people call ugly, and while I do wish that his character design in 3 reflected that, he's not really tied down to anybody given the nature of the setting. You don't have to fuck anybody, and Geralt can come across as disinterested just as often as he can come across as eager to fuck. 'Fuck me eyes' can be 'I'm fed up with this shit' eyes, and the difference can be decided by any comment he makes before, during, or after the camera spends seconds on him.
Xavier Barnes
People will grasp at every straw to try and prove TW3 isn't a great game.
James Rodriguez
>choose every "fuck people" option >wow wtf geralt fucks people???????? jesus christ
Sebastian Harris
I think this has been pretty obvious since the beginning.
The Witcher fans behave exactly like the guy who creates Reize from Shovel Knight. Autistically defending their game from any criticism to create this facade of TW3 being one of the best games ever made.
Sebastian Allen
Isn't cracked a feminist numale site?
Does he not know sexual freedom is a discourse of feminism? Or is this one of those things of cognitive dissonance.
Jayden Robinson
>And for someone who makes a big deal about wanting to get his wife back, all of Geralt's dialogue options fall into the category of "Fuck Now" or "Fuck Later."
que?
Cooper Nguyen
Sexual freedom has never been a discourse of feminism. It only just contributes of objectification of women.
Brayden Jenkins
He is talking about Ciri.
Colton Scott
This bait gets posted here literally every week
Oliver Flores
>But John Marston had a moral code >morals only apply to dude sex lmao
geralt is shit but come on
Juan Martinez
>And for someone who makes a big deal about wanting to get his wife back
Lucas Thompson
Yeah. He is talking about Ciri.
He admitted to only watching a friend play the game for 5 minutes and didn't fully understand the story.
Dylan Rivera
>Can't you fuck prostitutes in RDR? No. The harlots at the saloon proposition John/Jack and they decline automatically.
Benjamin Thompson
lmao
Angel Fisher
How do shitposters never get tired of spamming the same shit every day
Ayden Morales
I could have sworn I filtered this pasta.
Austin Rivera
>Sexual freedom has never been a discourse of feminism.
Am I missing something?
Wasn't having sex without people complaining about it a core tenet of feminism for the whole of the 60's or something?
Logan Green
Reminder.
These are the most vocal fags which developers never fail to listen to.
Nolan Rodriguez
Maybe to one of those whores in the 60's, just like in the 60's a black woman couldn't sit in front of the bus. Things change and for the better.
Charles Gray
He's wrong, I was too lazy to argue with him.
Yes it is, the freedom to go out and be a sex worker or be a prude. The objectification that follows is admitted by feminists as being one of the draw backs but they blame it on the commodification of the sexual body.
Boy, those two arts subjects I did sure did teach me things.
Oliver Cox
To be fair, the Witcher 3 is a great game, and I played the shit out of it. It was one of the best games of the year and don't get me started on gwent. That being said, I fucking hate Geralt. He is the toughest most skillful killing douchebag I've seen in all the games I've played. His dialog is repetitive, boring and I can't stand him. Nothing against the voice actor, but his voice makes it so much worse. But still a great game.
Hunter Thomas
>JM married the Dutch gang #1 whore Really made ya think
Dominic Powell
How is Geralt a douchebag?
At most, he is a big fluffy bear who pretends not to care but cares anyway, and always does the right thing in the end.
