Friend: wanna play together?

>friend: wanna play together?
>other friend: let's play bro

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>Disconnect from all your real friends when they grow up and stop playing video games
>Eventually all your steam freinds do it too

>playing multiplayer games
>2017, year of our lord

>friend invites me to play borderlands 2 with him and his friend
>not really interested in the series but ok, if i'm gonna give it a chance it's now
>his friend keeps rushing
>doesn't pick up a single loot
>complains i'm too slow
>i'm picking up loot
>he keeps dying and saying he does no damage
>says the game is shit and stops playing
>my friend simply didn't like the game and stopped too

I've never seen someone so bad at video games.

>doesnt having any friends

>brother says he wants to play dead island together
>sure. game is fun with beer and bros
>spend a week of playing in silence together because any response from him was a grunt
>still had fun

I'm not really sure if my only steam friend likes me

>doesn't learning english

>Online friends constantly messaging me asking me if I'm okay
>Tell them I'm fine
>Go offline longer and longer
>Every time I go back I'm messaged and asked to play multiplayer games
>Always do
>Always go offline after
>Time between log-ins increasing
>It's been a month since last time

Are you okay?

same. I was asked to play league a lot of times but i don't like it. then it came a time where they stopped asking. I join their chat lobby and hang out.

>invite friend to play a match
>invite rejected

I'm fine

Just send him pictures of your butt and he'll like you

Is that young cumberbatch?

>be into autism simulators like gsg and other time consuming strategy
>friends are casuals who can't play anything that takes more than 10 minutes to learn
I will never get to play multiplayer in my favorite games

>Mostly disconnected with real friends outside of conversations at high school because only kid in group with PS3 and a shit PC
>Usually hanged out with steam friends
>Eventually disconnected with them
>Started to reconnect again with IRL friends
>Make even more IRL friends
>Play video games together and chat regularly

>Learn how to make friends
>Now I have too many friends
>Just want to play video games on my own

HOW DO YOU MAKE FRIENDS
WHATS THE SECRET

b urself

FUCK YOU TELL ME RIGHT NOW

Don't be yourself. But open up.

>play with random person for hours
>sad song starts playing right before he leaves
>get depressed

"birds of a feather flock together"

Don't Columbine on me now

effeminate fucking retarded faggots

...

Show your feminine dick to them

Please don't post my wife without my permission again.
Thank you.

>listen to music that makes you happy
>pretend like you're a main character in an anime
>start a conversation in-game
>add them on steam
>play with them next time
>don't be yourself

Not him but I shall reveal the secret of life to you:
>start smoking
>get facebook
>add people you somewhat knew a while back so it doesn't look like a fake account
>go to a bar
>get drunk
>chat up some other drunk people either in the bar or the smoking area
>add them on facebook
>possibly also get laid by the end of the night
>you think it won't be awkward the day after, but you're wrong
>doesn't matter cause you got facebook friends now that you can go out with
>still feel dead inside

Fuck you nigger I'll post her whenever I want to because she's my wife too.

Youre missing out, user.

This. Find people who are the same as you.

Too difficult.

I'll be your friend dude

as long as you dont have shit taste in games

I bet you wouldn't even help wash her stomach faggot.
But if you would I'll accept it.

Why would anyone need help washing their stomach?

I feel a double team coming on
Just remember if you both bully her then no ones getting cucked

Bonding events

How tall are you?

>learn how to get people to like you
>it doesn't matter because I have nothing in common with them, nobody interests me and they don't even like me, they just like the personality I put on

get enough common interest knowledge to hold conversation. That is all there is to it.
Stay up to date on:
>local sports teams / how they're doing;
>local news i.e. who got robbed etc;
>top 40 pop music; and
>latest movie
You don't have to like any of these, but you must at least know about them. It's bullshit, but it's their game. You have to play by their rule. The guys who say "be yourself" are lucky majority that happen to like what they're supposed to. Being yourself is not always the right thing to do. Learn to keep your opinion down until you have good reasons to believe that the other person in convo can accept it, or get better at conversation so you can express yourself without pissing others off.

180cm

Local news and the latest movies are fine.
Don't subject yourself to sports or music if you don't like them though.
I promise you that if you don't like what you're talking about, they'll pick up on it and assume you're a tool.

How can you love your wife if you won't even wash her stomach?

Anyone wanna play Left 4 Dead with me?

>Playing old games
You're too old for friendship.

sports and music are the cheat codes to normie convos. It's actually pretty amazing how people open up when they see that you know their favorite band and concerts, or latest ball game which in this case should be march madness game. You would be right if we're talking about a normie. Chances are that other dude doesn't really have a lot to talk about besides games, he needs all the help.

You mean L4D2?

Also, sure, I haven't played that in ages. Give me your steam.

Why would I want to be friends with people who give a shit about things like that?

True.
I get overly-excited when people say they like Streetlight Manifesto

Even moreso when they tell me they're into Vocaloid
It's kinda embarrassing to be honest but I can see how fans find that camaraderie.

Because that is how you start finding gaming friends. Nerds hide hide levels, man. The ones that don't don't make it. These people you meet exclusively online are not your friends and friendship requires physical interactions, the faster you realize that, the better.

Friendship is for ever okay

>You mean L4D2?
Yes! steamcommunity.com/id/emergencyvideogamecompanion/

Is this an alt account

YEAH

be attractive and ALWAYS pretend like you're interested in what they're saying, even if it's boring as shit

This... sounds horrible

>anime avatar
>SF5
>level 1

Are you a trap at least

wokada migu was a mistake

Do you use mic?

I don't use mic

>hey want to play something?
>nah not right now
>literally every time
>from every friend but one
What am I doing wrong?

>dude it's because you have an anime avatar
so do a lot of the people I ask and the people THEY do play with. I know it's not because I'm bad because I haven't had a chance to play vidya with some of them at all yet.

>tfw I've learned how to nod and say "ah/oh/ah I see/yeah/mhm/etc" without really understanding what my irl friends are saying and just pretend to continue the discussion

I don't know why that would matter

No I don't I prefer not to use a mic!

friendly reminder to not be that guy

>dude it's because you ALWAYS and ONLY EVER have an anime avatar
fixed it for them. stop doing it.

Just be friendly. And maybe talkative sometimes.

No, it isn't. That's how you find complete normies. The people who give a shit about top 40 music, or even pretend to give a shit about it, aren't people I want to be friends with. Neither do I give a shit about people who are too insecure about playing fucking video games.

Your advice is retarded and you're also retarded.

>No I don't I prefer not to use a mic!
This is why you can't have friends.

but so do they. not an argument.

who here

>terrible at socializing/getting out but has 2~3 really good friends

kys

ERP with them

Sorry bud, don't take it personally. You are not helping your case any by calling me a retard.

It's nice finding a normie who's insecure about his love for video games and becoming pillar of support that he can share the interest with. The trick is that you have to have a good enough image, so that it's not embarrasing for him to hang with you, but also make it somewhat obvious that vidya is a hobby of yours.

Everything is an argument for you, it seems. Keep thinking why people don't like to play with you.

I'll just settle with micless friends

>It's nice finding a normie who's insecure about his love for video games
Where do you even find these people? High school?

>stoped playing LoL 1 year ago
>most of my friends in skype dont bother talking to me since then

>tfw no friend to talk to all day while I play games

You can only be acquaintances if you don't have voiced conversations. Sorry but it's the truth.

Work / Uni?
Protip: If they play rap from their phone they're not the ones you're looking for.

What's wrong with Mio

Just post your ids, faggots.

add me up losers

No one's insecure about playing videos games in uni, at least in STEM fields, because everyone does it.

that's OK too!

>that one steam friend that keeps trying to ERP with you when you're high or drunk because he knows you're really horny but you control yourself thanks to your years of conditioning