Fuck you, Jim Sterling

Fuck you, Jim Sterling.

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youtube.com/watch?v=efKxC0RgyV4
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BASED

HAHAHAHAH

LEL

Even if I hate Sterling's guts, his review was far closer to my own feelings on the game than any of the others. It's a mediocre open world game and a terrible Zelda game, filled with an obnoxious amount of busywork and anti-fun mechanics.

Thanks, Jim.

And yet he gave Horizon a near perfect score.

link to review

thejimquisition.com/the-legend-of-zelda-breath-of-the-wild-review/

Its not Jim sterling that pushed it below 98, his review would have kept it there barely. Its slant magazine that did the damage.

>from the guy who gave Fallout 4 a fucking 9.5

I'm not clicking that link. What score did he give it and how long until it's playable on cemu?

one of these

1/10, playeable tomorrow

or

10/10 and 10 years until cemu plays it

Let's be real, the only reason he gave it that score was because he can't make monetize his Nintendo Coverage.

Jim has been click bait for ages, I remember him giving mk7 like a 4/10 or something?
I don't know why his reviews are still given weight on meta critic

>slant magazine
Nope, Famitsu gave it a perfect score.

>If you’ve ever wanted to spend hours watching a little green circle get progressively less green, this is the game for you! A garish stamina wheel appears whenever Link runs, climbs, swims, or uses his paraglider, and not only is it ugly, it’s woefully inefficient to the point where even my fat ass could outrun this easily winded little sack of nothing.

>It took four stamina upgrades – and remember these come at the cost of new heart containers – to get the stamina wheel to a point I’d find acceptable as the starting amount. By basically upgrading enough to have two stamina wheels, Link was able to sprint just long enough to not be ludicrous, and I had to solve sixteen shrines to get it that way.

>Climbing and swimming, both potentially lethal activities if Link runs out of energy halfway into the endeavor, will eat up stamina fast and you’ll be wanting elixirs on hand if you plan any major vertical traversal. Link is apparently Spider-man now, able to scale even flat walls, but it takes a lot out of him and an excessive amount of time can be spent slowly plodding up mountains, watching that ugly green circle tick itself down.

>Mountains and other high places become even more annoying when it starts to rain. It rains a lot in this game, and when it rains, you can’t climb. You can try, but Link slips so many times you’ll almost inevitably run out of stamina before you find a stable ledge to stand on. It’s one of those Nintendo things, where a silly little detail was implemented simply to have more silly little details regardless of how it actually affected gameplay.

>If you were already halfway up a mountain before it started raining, you’re buggered. You’ll either need to hope you landed somewhere sheltered so you can start a fire (in another awkward bit of menu management and item holding), or abandon all your progress and paraglide to an inn or somewhere else that passes the time.

Spot on.

confirmed worse than gta4, a mediocre slav sim from ten years ago

7/10
His closing line makes me believe he gave it that due to being asshurt over Nintendo's Youtube policies
>Truly, I wish I could say I understood what all the critics were raving about in their onslaught of 10/10 reviews, but I don’t. I see too many things getting in the way of the brilliance, too much repetitive busywork and full-on dick moves for me to say this is even close to my favorite Zelda game, much less in the top five.
The term "full-on dick moves" really seals the deal

Pretty much this.
Jim has been protest reviewing Nintendo games for like 10 years now. He's the perfect example of a butthurt baby

No but honestly, who the fuck even is Jim Sterling and how is he different from he other fat fuck Boogie? How did he become a "credible" critic?

holy hell this guy
>can't manage his stamina for shit, needs four upgrades and multiple elixirs to climb up stuff

imagine being this bad at video games

THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL

>*reviews your game*

Like clockwork. You people will defend even the most blatant flaws with the game, won't you?
The stamina gauge isn't "difficulty," and how you can come to that conclusion is beyond me. It's an egregious waste of the player's time and severely limits the promised "freedom."
But nope - BotW is perfect and even its flaws are perfect because they have the Zelda name. Fucking spare me.

By being le ironic funny sarcastic fatass brit.
He was basically the first gaming fatass. He has barely held onto an audience since TB and Boogie absorbed most of his fat / british fans/

Now he just writes clickbait.

>two weeks ago made a video titled "why it's morally okay to pirate all of Nintendo's games"
He does it for the attention and probably had no plans to review BOTW until he realized he could knock down the score from 98 to 97 and get the attention of millions.

Fuck off Jim

And? Different people have different tastes. He didn't give BoTW a 7 just because he gives everything 3 less points than other people.

Fuck off Jim

HAHAHA

Actually, I do not need to defend the blatant flaws in the game. The temperature system pisses me off and the weapons break too often. Some things, like being able to increase your inventory space, are not well explained at all so you can go through the entire game carrying around five swords like an idiot (I did this)

but what he complains about in that paragraph is a nonissue and I suspect he's just bad at the game.

fuck off jim

we're back, baby.

guys lets start a petition!! This review needs to be taken down immediately

Pretty much

Jim always tries to say that he's not bothered by it but he just can't help himself every time he starts talking about them

He's gotta make a living somehow. I just hope he's happy in his personal life and if not o hope he has the courage to change it.

He's farming death threats.

>>Now he just writes clickbait.
This. Basically no game is ever going to beat OoT because everyone is going to write terribly written reviews for the sake of clickbait, every critic that matters has already given it a 10. But of course Sup Forums is going to shitpost about it and defend a cuck like the faggots they are. His review is fucking awful

based

jim continues to BTFO overrated garbage even to this day

>ITT Sup Forums learns there is an outside world of people who don't spend their lives on a Manganese Shoplifting Workshop Message Board

Yeah, I lost a huge amount of trust in him after that shit despite his views in games normally being closer to mine than other reviewers.

No, he gave BOTW a 7 because he's clickbait

Not surprising. He's a cuckold and needs to keep virtue signaling.

>BotW down to the same score as GTA V

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Who's waiting for the inevitable Jimquisition based on all the hate he's getting?

Fuck off Jim 'fucking cuck' Sterling

everyone thinks FF XIII and ass creed 2 are shit

The only good ass creed was black flag

Sonic colors was good, he's fucking stupid for that though.

>clicking on buzzfeed articles

wow, nothing in that image has anything to do with videogames

hmmmm

While I can get his point about running, the horses take care of that pretty easily and you can generally find ways up mountains that don't involve climbing straight up all the time.

That said, managing the climbing has never been an issue for me personally. I was always able to gauge how much stamina it would take to climb something, and able to jump up it and still have enough to reach the top. Only the absolute tallest climbs have ever really taxed me, and I have never needed elixirs or anything to climb up things.

Hell, even if you do wind up falling, you can still activate your glider on the way down as well to negate fall damage.

The game has issues, and some of this is how quickly the bar drains when you run.. But overall, its not a massive problem unless you have zero clue how to manage your stamina.

Yet Fallout fucking 4 gets a 9?
Fuck off, Jim.

Finally, Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 for the PSizzleUno can reign supreme as Game of the Century of the Metacritic.

TONY HAWK PRO SKATER 2 BAYBEE

>a bisexual cuckold in an "open relationship" that spouts atheism, self appointed feminist, makes horrific low quality content/video, thinks his opinion matters more than anyone else despite not working in the industry even day and is just another run of the mill reviewer and gets $11,000 per MONTH patreon gives BoTW a 7/10 and Horizon Zero Dawn a 9.5/10

This really activates my activia and stimulates my simpletons.

>everyone thinks FF XIII and ass creed 2 are shit
funny because ff13 has an 85 and asscreed2 has a 90

and he was raked over the fucking coals over these reviews for years

>Badly rate a game due to personal malice
>Enjoy the free coverage from being a dick

A actual journalist would be sued for that

>"Why won't the game just let me hold the stick forward and traverse the entire world unhindered?"
LOL fuck off Jim.

is he the armond white of vidya?

>every critic that matters
Literally no such thing.

Who gives a shit anymore, it would have been a shitposting shitstorm if the reviews came out 10 days ago

If you've been following him for any amount of time, you'll quickly realize that he gives exceptionally high scores to really generic shit while giving Nintendo games very low scores.

I mentioned off hand that Kid Icarus got an exceptionally low score from him (A five) because he was too fat to use the control scheme correctly. But that was far from the only example. Check out his Fatal Frame V review, for example.

The implication is that he's downscoring Nintendo games JUST for being Nintendo games.

at least he has a relationship. You're a fucking virigin on a cantonese woodworking board.

>He didn't find even one piece of the climber's outfit
There are few paths which outright require you to climb through them. If he was so frustrated with stamina to begin with, he could have found a horse to travel with before he got to Kakariko Village. At which point, he wouldn't have to watch Link's stamina while running around everywhere.

He's popular because for a long time he was pretty much the only reviewer employed by mainstream gaming news willing to give mediocre AAA titles bad scores while being smart enough to make sure people knew who he was so he could separate himself form the sties that employed him.

He wishes. Armond White is a lot smarter than Jim.

Paths that require you to climb are generally a minority, and you can usually get a leg up on them by either gliding in or using stasis to launch something for you to ride.

Indeed. LoZ is such normie shit that even the freaks are recognizing it's nothingness

Literally a cuck

Fucking sony shill fucking sony shill!! SONY SHILL SONY SHIIIILLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Hi Jim

>"critic"
>had to pay for his own copy of the game
Hmmmmm

Wow really?

My bad, I honestly thought ass creed 2 was dog shit (but popular) and FFXIII I was absolutely sure was hated by everyone.

I don't think I know anyone who dislikes colors though, and I enjoyed it myself.

He's setting it up perfectly, gives the game a low score prompting people to complain about it and a few other idiots rage and send him death threats giving him exposure. Next Jimquisition he talks about all the points that he thought made the game shit and talks shit about Nintendo fans sending him death threats thus giving him a shit load of views.

Hes set it up perfectly so that he gets a shit ton of clicks on his webpage and a shit ton of views on his youtube and gets people to talk about him.

Not defending Sterling, but Fatal Frame V WAS a mediocre and boring piece of shit.

He's right though, the stamina mechanic is pretty ridiculous. Once you get a full second wheel it becomes a lot less annoying, however you will still want to keep some extra cooked stamella shrooms

Armond White at least knows how to write. He repeats himself a lot but he can really turn a phrase. Jim Sterling writes like a middle school student.

It's more honorable to be alone for your entire life than it is to be in a demeaning relationship. The "my wife's son" normie will always be more pathetic than the Sup Forums wizard.

Most people here are too smart to be in a relationship.

>Sterling is a cuck, because he didn't bend over and take it from Nintendo like every other biased vidya site.

Reminder

A guide to how Jim Sterling has stayed alive
>be le ironic fat brit
>keeps things going well for a while
>suddenly Total Biscuit shows up and half my audience is gone because I'm annoying
>start writing super clickbaity scores at Destructoid to keep the audience high
>they fire me for the bad PR they're getting
>start my own show
>have a good following
>whenever the audience starts getting low, release something super controversial and clickbaity that even Sup Forums talks about it
>repeat until I die of a heart attack for being so fat

That is the life of Jim Sterling.

i fucking hate zelda games and thechanges made in botw make it by far the best

I want to impregnate Saber

strangely enough his review is really tempting me to purchase a switch even with the 7 score. It sounds challenging and rewarding. I primarily play on ps4/pc but haven't owned a Nintendo console since the n64.

Should I bros?

I've climbed up pretty much everything in the game with two upgrades and no stamina replenishing items. You just gotta make good use of the level geometry. I think climbing up a mountain with low stamina is like an open ended puzzle.

Thanks, Jim

I actually like his videos, but that was just disgusting, it's literal clickbait. You can't just use a professional review as clickbait.

I can't even get 10 seconds into his videos without that stupid fuckin intro making me wince

See: youtube.com/watch?v=efKxC0RgyV4

It's so lame it hurts, I don't know why this guy is so often seen as the "voice of the industry"

>open relationship where you fuck other people
>relationship

that's not a relationship, that's a woman having her cake and eating it too. That's what the face of retardation and being uses looks like.

his argument consists of "muh stamina" and "muh weapon durability"

he's a genuine retard that doesn't understand the mechanics of the game

Yes, he was despised for that stuff
There was this one too
destructoid.com/review-mario-kart-7-216484.phtml

Destructoid fired him because he was using their platform to make controversial clickbait and get his name out there, but it was too late, he already gathered a following of ironic contrarians.

hes a huge faggot but hes so mad at nintendos abuses that hes finally had enough and now hes treating them with accuracy unlike other people in the industry who are getting advertising checks from nintendo

really makes me think

I've done more than 60 shrines and have finished all the divine beasts. It didn't prevent me from enjoying the game but he's right about the rain and stamina limitations in general, it's extremely annoying.

>I don't know why this guy is so often seen as the "voice of the industry"

he's not. only his loud supporters spouting his name make it seem that way.

Bioshock Infinite is a game for intellectuals. Of course he would give it a 10.

This. When climbing really tall stuff, you have to figure out the best method to approach it. If possible, find areas you can rest on even briefly while climbing up. Lot of the taller walls tend to have areas that jut out which are just horizontal enough to be an extremely steep slope. You can usually let go an climb up them to restore your meter by always pushing into the wall whenever you start sliding down. The gains you make from just standing usually outweighs the little bit used to grab walls.

Using that and other stuff like using stasis, Octorok balloons and other things, you can generally scale anything.

Lol, an open relationship is not a relationship, it's essentially a prostitute you sometimes get to hang around with and do non sexual stuff based on where they can fit you into their schedule.

>reee 97? it should be at least 110! fucking sonybros ree

Probably, especially since the Switch will have MK8, Splatoon 2, and Super Mario Odyssey on it by the end of the year.

>thejimquisition.com/the-legend-of-zelda-breath-of-the-wild-review/
>2017
>Jimtrashquisition

Retards are sucking this dick's game in areas where it is objectively weak. I asked in a thread the other day why it looks so washed out and how it is a terrible art direction and I had like 15+ (you)s of retards on here screeching autistically at me.

>game all about exploring and finding different options on how to progress
>WOW WHY ISN'T MY SINGLE ONE ROUTE THE MOST VIABLE ROUTE 100% OF THE TIME