Good. You opened this message.
This isn't actually asari military command. They're busy tending to what's left of their planet.
So you survived our fight on Thessia. You're not as weak as I thought. But never forget that your best wasn't good enough to stop me.
Now an entire planet is dying because you lacked the strength to win. The legend of Shepard needs to be re-written.
I hope I'm there for the last chapter. It ends with your death.
-KL
*stabs u with my omni blade*
SOMEBODY
>runs away in defeat and then brags about it
mass effect 3 is a wound time will never heal
This reads like it was typed up by a child
This never gets old.
Fuck, what was Bioware thinking?
WHAT
ARE YEW DOIN'
IN MY
SWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP
ONCE
It comes off as a very wordy. "Lol took 5 of u to kill me. gg ez"
I bet that faggot plays DotA 3 in his spare time
He's even asian
UPON
A
>Incorporating a bunch of characters from the super shitty books
NIPPLE
Heh, nothing personnel kiddo.
AND THEN I SAW HER FACE
SOME
BODY
WITH AN L SHAPED HAND ON HER FOREHEAD
BOUT MY BAD REPUTATION
SO WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS
YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE WALKING ON THE SUN
Someone got paid to write that drivel. Boggles the fucking mind.
Kai Leng is like a fan fiction character. I mean, in a game so terrible he stands out the most. Someone got paid to write that character.
Pssshhhh Nothing personal
IT STARTS WITH...
This fucking face baffles me. It's almost incomprehensibly ugly. It's like some kind of fucking ugliness singularity. Nothing about it is really strange, and that's what's most amazing about it. It's not freakish, just profoundly ugly. It's too ugly to be attractive and yet not ugly enough to be humorous or interesting. This face could walk past me hand in hand with a guy who has buck teeth, a hook nose, bug-eyes, no chin, alopecia, and albinism and yet it's this face I'd be grimacing at in disgust. This is the kind of weapons-grade black-market-plutonium ugliness you can only get with a room full of fucking scientists set to the task of making the most disgusting female face ever to stain the Earth with its sheer repulsiveness. The fact that Bioware managed to create such a monstrosity, presumably without the aid of a mad genius aesthetician branded with the unholy mark of Satan and cursed to do his work in the mortal plane, is nothing short of astounding. It's hard to put my finger on any one feature as being the worst offender. Is it the raccoon eyes? The pug nose? The gormless dopey smile? The mound of fat at the base of her jaw? The weird skin texture that makes it look like she washes her face every morning with a hand-towel made of undercooked bacon? I've seen punchable faces before, and this is no punchable face. This is a face that I could not be persuaded to touch for any amount of time, for any amount of money. I am a worse person for having seen it. Jesus Christ.
Someone post the book excerpt of him breaking into someone's house and eating their cereal
CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES
I liked Kai Leng at first, because I was under the assumption he was intended to be a tryhard wannabe badass that they deliberately wrote to be as infuriating as possible so it was all the more enjoyable when you stabbed him in the gut
then I saw the cereal killer excerpt from the book and I realized, no, you were actually supposed to think this guy was cool.
It amazes me that characters like Kai Leng and Fenris were written and put in their respective games without a hint of irony or self-awareness. Bioware really went off the deep end.
ONE
>Cereal killer
What happened in the books?
STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
TWO
MY FATHER TOOK ME INTO THE CITY
>It ends with your death.
It could've ended one sentence earlier and would've been much better.
...
You ask too much of Bioware's audience.
HE
Has there ever been a clunkier piece of writing in a video game? This is actively painful to read.
HEY NOW
MOM'S GONNA FREAK
>that fucking prose
how the FUCK do these people get jobs writing novelizations? I can fucking write better than that and I'm a fat NEET with no real education.
Seriously, Bioware, if you're reading this, hire me for your next book. I'm a better writer than Dietz, trust me.
I WALK A LONELY ROAD
I was gonna joke about them writing sit-coms instead of games,then I remembered DA:I in general.
If someone said to you that there was a musical part in one of the sequels while you were playing DA:O,would you believe him?
Kylo ren?
...
NANI?
>how the FUCK do these people get jobs writing novelizations
Go to a Star Wars wiki sometime and look up all the shit they add in the EU novels. The standard for quality is shockingly low.
why does that blue thing have cum on its lips
Good. You opened this message.
This isn't actually asari military command. They're busy tending to what's left of their planet.
So you survived our fight on Thessia. You're not as weak as I thought. But never forget that your best wasn't good enough to stop me.
Now an entire planet is dying because you lacked the strength to win. The legend of Shepard can continue to be build through further gameplay and downloadable content.
I hope I'm there for the last chapter. It ends with your death.
>Good. You opened this message
Who fucking wrote this and thought it was alright
>musical part
fuck you for reminding me of that. most i've ever cringed at a video game
Signed, Toby - age 7
...
EH REH EH REH DODODO
TOLD ME
Cringed from the sheer awesomeness of that powerful and emotional scene I hope!
Good. You opened this message.
It was a virus. Good job, Shepard. Now I'm gonna steal all your credit card information
did you actually type all this out
dumb autist
It really was a fitting end to the series
I will singlehandedly destroy the bioware fanbase one day.
THE GRASS IS MUCH GREENER
This had to be intentional
I've been through the desert on a horse with no _____
Dick. The horse had no DICK.
Jesus Christ, I remember the book where they introduced Kai Leng. Throughout the entire thing there was just something off about him, the way he was being characterized. Didn't think much of it at first, but then the fucking ending happened. Both his legs are fucking broken yet he manages to be a complete ninja badass and escape using ridiculous acrobatics.
>what are copypastas
>spend one week doing every quest in Mass Effect 1
>import save to ME2
>spend another week doing EVERY SHIT EVERY FUCKING ANOMALY
>import save to ME3
>last words I read is "downloadable content"
Good, thanks for a reminder. I wanted to buy Andromeda but I guess I'll be playing something different.
Bioware have never had good writers. Even going back to the days of Baldur's Gate. All instances of good writing in their games came from the folks at Black Isle.
Anything which is repetitively posted, usually on imageboards like Sup Forums, to the point of annoyance or amusement, depending on one's point of view.
The thing is, people don't realize the work that goes into properly doing copypasta. They think copypasta is something that slackers can do, or faggots, or assholes. It's not true. Copypasta is a dying artform and if you don't see that, I don't know what's wrong with you.
First of all, you sacrifice spending real time on Sup Forums. You can't participate as much as you'd like to because you're so busy doing copypasta that you can't. As a result, you miss a lot of really great threads. Still, it's a sacrifice, so you do it.
There's also the problem of "Flood detected". This message can really hurt your progress. You should try to get your copypasta into every active thread and if you have to sit there waiting before the flood period is over, you lose valuable time. This is also very difficult.
Also, picking which threads should get a copypasta first are sort of difficult. There are threads that don't stay on the first page for very long, so you may be missing some of the more prominent threads. Of course, you should try to hit them all, but for the desire effect, you need to get into bigger threads quickly.
Finally, there's the moral problem. One thing about copypasta is that sometimes it feels good, but sometimes it feels bad.
BTW, this wasn't a copy pasta, I just typed it out.
SWAMP
psshh... nothing personnel, kid
SOMEBODY
ON THE OTHER S I D E
THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME
YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND
WHO LOOKED LIKE A GIRLFRIEND
>he put effort into his post, what a cringey person
Is what you were thinking, right?
thats a copypasta you fucking retard
Did you know the gun is backwards?
#DidYouKnowGaming
Most of the books are good though.
H-HE'S FAST!
...
I AINT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED
Ahhhhhhh...............................
diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick
I guess that Bioware isn't the sharpest tool in the shed
doesn't he piss in someone's vase as well?
they are the sharpest piece of constipated shit
You are Sup Forums silly willy :)
No one here can read.