How do I avoid getting raped by goblins?

How do I avoid getting raped by goblins?

Try dressing not like a slut for once.

Use one entrance and put traps fucking everywhere.

What are the best kind of traps

cages and glass serrated disks

in the beginning I always try to use bronze/iron serrated discs and pressure plated spear traps.

These ones

>Literally just close the door

Rape them first in self defense

This. I never get how people get attackers in their fort. It's the easiest thing to just lock the doors / raise the gates and be done with it. How did they get in, OP?

they kinda just sorta walked in

Capture a dragon, and put it in a cage in your entrance

You have no doors or gates?
>Capture a dragon
He can't defend against some goblins, you think he'll survive a dragon?

...

Use one entrance like this

By the way, make the regular tunnel one tile or so longer than the trap tunnel. That means invading monkeys enter the trap tunnel by default and get shishkabobed.

what is this shite

Lurk moar faggot.

It's good to keep in mind that it's extremely hard to climb smooth walls, and impossible to scale the wall if there's an overhang.

i had like 150 doors, none locked

luks laike durf forbress xD

...

>moar

please learn english

Lurk moar

that doesn't apply to tomb of horrors
>those that enter it die regardless
or
>those that enter 2 out of 3 entrances die of starvation

Is the pathfinding that retarded? This is simcity (2013) levels of bad.

Why doesn't the dev fix this instead of coming up with new features?

Also can you still dump all your trash into one tile? Do huge monsters still just take one tile space?

Have a military squad or two that do nothing but spar. They'll hit legendary status in like a year or so and cut through goblins like butter as long as they're modestly equipped.

I have been playing for years and this is the one thing i just cant fucking understand, any tips/guides? Steel production is cake compared to military.

PREPARE YOUR ANUS

If there is a viable obvious entrance into a fort, the ai will go that way. At the very end, you can raise that drawbridge and then there are effectively no entrances. Now they're hemmed in an open area with crossbowdwarves with a one tile path packed with their brethren behind them. If you make both the pits below the drawbridges filled with lava, or significantly deep (10 z levels) you're pretty effectively defended. Remember that bigguns can break drawbridges.

Military used to be good and easy. Toady ruined it.

Man, forget that. I'll just play something else.

another one bites the dust

NO DON'T GO

Just fill out your squads with immigrants with shitty/useless skills (novice beekeepers and such), assign a barracks to the squad, and set their squad's alert to "active/training". They usually do drills for a bit before they start sparring.
As for equipment, all they really need is a chain shirt, a weapon, and a wooden shield. Add in the rest of the equipment when you find the time to have it crafted.

What goblins?

I just see bunch of cubes.

g

The tilesets for dorf are pretty shit. Compare it to CDDA.

A giant ass flowchart for something that takes literally 5 seconds to do in practice.

lol

How can military be so complicated to you?
Make squad, as you make them you get asked what uniforms you want, you chose metal armor.
DONE
Only thing you need to bother after that is assigning them to training at nearest weapon rack and crafting some weapons/armors for them.

Unless you wanna go full autistic like I love to and assign them each same weapon type, layered armor and fucking blue dyed cloaks with symbol of your fortress etched in pigtail fiber, it doesn't get simpler.

>tfw too stupid to design a kick ass fort like this

>please learn english
LURK
MOAR

I like it, but I'd keep small stockpiles a zlevel above for each associated area with a few dedicated haulers living in each area.

I'm considering going full out autistic mode to make one of these beauties.
Mainly to entertain myself while I wait for FPS death. If I spend 10h paused designing a fortress i'd probably feel better then to just play have it die a fps death in just a siege or two.

Is that exposed water that leads directly into your fort?

I haven't played since they introduced hospitals, so I might be mistaken

wut tileset is dis my man

>How can military be so complicated to you?
Creating, outfitting, training, on/offduty, issuing orders of any kind. Its just too much shit for me to wrap my head around all at once especially when the only times i need it is when a fucking invasion or beast shows up.

Plus i have used one variation or another of the hallway of deathtraps every fort that i never needed a military, and if i did the fort was dead anyways so there was no point.

The problem with the current military implementation is that it's all or nothing. You can't implement a military using basic features and work your way up to more in depth as you learn about it organically. You have to have everything set up properly from the word go or it doesn't work.

Since military sucks, use traps
I like pitfalls and disks

whats down that pit just south of your fort?

Sorry, not my forts, just inspirations I collected for my future megaprojects.

Do these players just make their embark zone huge? I usually do 3*3 or 4*4 but I don't think they are big enough to house these floor sizes

I normally run 5x5, higher if i find a neat biome next to the one that has everything i want. The real interesting ones are 1x1.

Depends on your fortress purpose/style. Big fortresses like these are literally unplayable after a few ingame years if not sooner, fps death from stuff cluttering around is too hard to come back up from.
I personally plan to play my next fortress on 2x2, weather off, temperature off, 1 cavern layer, 100 dwarf cap, and try to reach at least 30-50 years of fortress lifespan.
Even with such limitations, I'm certain I will have to do atom-smashing very often to purge old clothes, bones and other clutter.

I'm pretty vanilla, so I always end up going for something at the base of a mountain, preferably next to a river head for infinite water. Is 1*1 interesting because it forces players to work in such a small place?
I try to stay on the 100 limit, but I inevitably bump it up to 200 or 250 eventually.

The space isnt so much a problem considering how many Z levels there are, what gets you is resource scarcity. Chances are prety high that you can spawn into an area that is missing an important stone layer. And unless you go into a heavily forested area, trees will be your biggest bottlenecks. Even if all that does go perfectly, within a few years your fort will of used everything that your map has to offer, so if you dont have a good trade network setup your fort can easily die off.

>they kinda just sorta walked in

That's adorable user