Morning Breath of the Wild

Boy, does this game smell.

Realizing that I hadn't used my highly-neglected WiiU in about 2 years, I figured I would buy BotW see how it was. I mean, with everyone giving it a 10/10, it has to be great... right? Well, guess what? It's a fucking piece of shit.

- The graphics look like ass. They clearly chose a cel-shaded look just to hide the imperfections of the aging WiiU and Switch hardware.

- The framerate is shit and somehow even worse on Switch. What a joke.

- The world is big, empty and boring. Trivial attractions abound, no substance.

- Stupid, unnecessary mechanics like stamina and climbing. Climbing is especially retarded, as you literally just hold up on the joystick until you get somewhere.

- Combat isn't shallow enough to retain the mindless fun of older games, yet isn't deep enough to compete with games like Dark Souls.

- The shrines are a joke. Traditional dungeons that were at least aesthetically interesting and integral to the lore are replaced by cheap side attractions that can be skipped over and rarely reward you with anything worth giving a shit about. You can literally jump over most of the puzzles anyway. Fucking ridiculous.

Then of course there's the weapon breaking, the abysmal voice acting, Link's transsexual character design, the four pathetic "real" dungeons, the truly pathetic final boss fight, the lack of music, and lack of just about everything else that this series is known for.

I'm not surprised that so many dumb fucks enjoy playing this game, it's exactly what people want right now: mindless, directionless sandbox gameplay where you can dress up in pretty clothes, run around a grass field and find dozens of meaningless items. The game is no longer Zelda, it's a just another boring sandbox RPG in a sea of boring sandbox RPGs, and you can bet Nintendo will keep churning them out exactly like this for the next 5 years. Game is shit, sorry.

Other urls found in this thread:

behindthevoiceactors.com/Sean-Chiplock/
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

your mother sucks your dog's cock

> autistic anger

okay

> it's okay, you have plenty to look forward to, right?

Bolson, remember that time we saged shit threads?

"Blue name to post without shame," boss!

I mean, hey, you're always welcome to tell me what I've said that isn't dead accurate.

thanks for this

Still waiting on constructive reasoning for why I'm not correct on every point. Probably because I'm right?

I don't really feel like it right now. Maybe in a little bit if you manage to keep this thread up by shamelessly self-bumping by replying to every person in the desperate attempts to keep the thread from fading into obscurity

You know, like you've been doing

Oi, respect my joke and sage if you post

That's right, put on the fedora and walk away. Bigger manbabies than you have tried to find a flaw in this reasoning and failed miserably.

it's not a 10/10 but I'm still having fun, OP

clocked 36 hours so far, after not being that hyped when I bought it.

You're entitled to like the game, but it doesn't mean the flaws mentioned in the OP aren't completely correct.

Huh, weird. Usually threads like this are obvious bait by people who haven't played but you seem legit.

I mean I can see why you'd think all this and mostly, I don't but it's because I'm valuing the stuff you're bothered by differently, so sorry that it wasn't good enough for you I guess.

I know - I actually agree with pretty much all of them.

Exploring the world is pretty cool though. Once I've seen everything, beaten the 4 main dungeons and beat Ganon I think I'll be done though

pathetic

Only Nintenbros think BoTW is 10/10 with no good dungeons. I give it an 9/10 as far a Zelda game goes, but a strong 7 or weak 8 overall.

> Pathetic
> Offers no actual reasons for why I'm incorrect

I just recently started playing it and I feel the same about some of the stuff you mentioned. It feels like a Skyrim mod with Zelda stuff thrown in and not like an actual Zelda game. The only Zelda-like thing I'd say it really nails down is the big sprawling open world, because that reminds me of the original nes Zelda. But the gameplay is just the generic crap I already see in a ton of open-world games. They could have easily fit in the basic Zelda formula into this massive world, but it looks like they didn't even try.

That's just it, most people who are raving about this game didn't actually like the old Zelda format. To me, I'd like to have my cake and eat it too. What's the need for yet another sandbox RPG? We already have a million, yet almost no games that are like traditional Zelda.

>Climbing is especially retarded, as you literally just hold up on the joystick until you get somewhere
Wrapping my brain around the complete stupidity of this comment stopped me from reading any further. I'm trying to comprehend how you thought criticizing freedom of movement here, or apparently movement in fucking general, made any sense. What the fuck is even being said here? Holy fucking shit. Hold the joystick until you get somewhere? Welcome to moving in video games.

After beating a good chunk of the game the charm just faded and I realized how boring and stale the game was. I had more fun playing Wind Waker or Twilight Princess than this.
I seriously hope the DLC helps the game considerably, otherwise this is where I'm dropping Zelda for good.

> Wrapping my brain around the complete stupidity of this comment
Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

Let me see if I can help you understand this. Does your autistic mind have trouble differentiating between the concepts of moving around while interacting with things in the environment, versus literally just holding up on a stick for 2 minutes while doing nothing? Come on dude, you aren't this autistic.

Pretty much. Twilight Princess was short on content and sidequests, but it at least had a decent story, good art style, etc. Wind Waker could get tedious and was too easy, but was otherwise fun and filled with content. This just feels sparse and boring all around.

...

Climbing is apart of the interactivity in getting to point A to B. I don't know how fucking long you're climbing but it's pretty much impossible to climb for two straight minutes without some assistance from either food or upgraded climbing gear. Climbing often involves proper navigation of the environment in order to find an ideal path forward, with plenty of walking in between. It's a big game, you walk a lot.

Valid points here
>Framerate issues
>Shrines not being visually distinct
>Bad voice acting
There you go.

Combat provides you with more opportunities to experiment that any game before, with added parrying and flurry mechanics. The weapon system wants you to plan around what you think is expendable and what's worth saving, but you are never at a loss for good weapons to grab.

Shrines.

Shit wait you're on page nine let me give your faggot ass a bump

> Combat provides you with more opportunities to experiment that any game before, with added parrying and flurry mechanics.
And yet these combat opportunities still pale in comparison to the industry big boys like Dark Souls which are vastly more deep in every conceivable way. A deep combat system is no better than a simplistic, mindless one, they are both fun in their own way. This game doesn't do either one better than others.

Not the guy you're responding to but I guess you prefer climbing with QTEs. Consider this post you made to be the most retarded post you've ever created in Sup Forums.

> as you literally just hold up on the joystick until you get somewhere.

Funniest part of the entire post. Why don't you go shitpost irl, do some stand up comedy or something.

meme grass

> I guess you prefer climbing with QTEs
I prefer not climbing at all, this isn't fucking Uncharted, it's Zelda and this queer shit has no place in the game.

>Dark Souls combat
>attack
>dodge
>parry

>BotW combat
>attack
>dodge
>parry

I guess you also hate swimming too.

I don't particularly like it actually. Why the fuck would I want to swim instead of exploring? But hey, at least an aquatic environment allows for depth and dimension, unlike climbing which is a mostly flat 2D plane of nothing but moving in a linear direction.

1. Kinda yeah
2. Post patch?
3. True
4. Stamina isn't bad with upgrades and elixirs
5. Combat was a challenge when you start off but once you learn it becomes far too easy.
6. Not enough shrines are memorable imo.
7. Weapon breaking sucks. I stocked up just a bunch of the same best weapons. It's not much variety. Link is a trans? Thunderblight was the only good boss fight imo.

Anyone got a link to the latest CEMU?

Climbing is great. Nothing more fun than using Link's movement options to help in combat.
>Leaping from destroyed building to get a chance to fire some free arrow hits
>The only Link that can play like Legolas
Feels good.

Shrines. The dungeon content of the game is significantly different from what we've had before, but I don't particularly miss that formula. What's disappointing here is that each each Divine Beast uses the same formula of activating each terminal, and the open ended structure of shrines means that the more clever puzzles don't get expanded upon. That being said, I was provided with a wealth of dungeon content, and the rewards will always be health or stamina, the two most valuable commodities in the game. All four Divine Beast are short but provide you with a dungeon-spanning theme to solve the puzzles with. Fuck combat shrines though.

Nigga Dark Souls combat is simple as hell, and I love that series to death. The emergent gameplay in Zelda is the star of your encounters, try experimenting. It's deeper than anything we've been provided with before and a huge step forward from the waiting game of Skyward Sword.

This game has HUGE room for improvement but it lays out stellar groundwork for stuff to come. Nintendo proved here that it listens to fans more than critics who fellated Skyward Sword, so I have no doubt the complaints about BotW's shortcoming will also be addressed.

Yeah, that hill or rock sure adds a lot of depth to walking. Climbing, walking, and swimming is made purely for navigation purposes and not to introduce some deep gameplay. Fuck off retard.

Okay, sure. Let's make all mountains unclimbable and set a linear path up said mountains. That would surely make it more fun, am I right?

Or better yet, let's remove mountains all together! After all, that queer shit has no place in a game like Zelda, right?

This reminds me of some shitposts I wrote back in the day. Thanks user, made me smile.

RIP Death Mountain

Not OP but personally, I loved climbing and hated swimming. I have fun checking out the sides of a height and surveying it for places I could regain stamina or routes to take to collect shit. It's also great looking out from each spot and seeing the spread in front of me, and knowing that if I get higher I might be able to glide somewhere.

BUT FUUUUUCK SWIMMING. Success and failure is all binary there, I can make a distance or I can't and your options in the water aren't really compelling enough that I'm about to feel anything but frustration over aquatic enemies. I do my best to skip swimming with any other movement I can, but even those are boring.

Doesn't matter if you like it or not. By this guy logic, he'd rather have it removed from the game completely.

Who the fuck is talking about hills and rocks dipshit? I'm talking about actually enjoying the game, fighting monsters, finding shit, and not wasting time climbing up mountains. Don't be an idiot.

> Okay, sure. Let's make all mountains unclimbable and set a linear path up said mountains.

Yes, actually it would, because then the paths would have enemies and obstacles on them instead of forcing me to just climb pointlessly.

>Uncharted
Where you climb designated crack and bumps conveniently placed in the wall for you? Almost everything can be climbed in BotW, that's hugely impressive.

>because then the paths would have enemies and obstacles on them instead of forcing me to just climb pointlessly.
Doesn't the game already have this?

Says the man who never played the game.

> uses name
Reddit immigrant identified.

Actually you can do kind of the same thing with swimming by strategically placing cryonis blocks for resting points

Who here /hardcore/?
>no champion ghost powers
>pro hud
>no armor upgrades
>no healing in combat
>no walkthroughs or looking up anything online
I've been playing since release and I'm only 90 shrines in, have not yet entered Hyrule castle.

It's ok user, we don't all have ADHD like yourself.

Did you know?

A cock sucking furfag voices Revali. He has a gallery of fav'd dog cock pictures on his Furaffinity account.

And in good furfag fashion he's thinks it's A-ok to parade that lifestyle loud and proud, surely Nintendo wouldn't mind...?

behindthevoiceactors.com/Sean-Chiplock/

>morning breath of the wild
>boy, does this game smell

pretty good desu

I disagree, therefore your post is objectively wrong.

So I criticize the game for not being focused and linear enough, and this, somehow, was processed by your autistic little brain into me being ADHD?

Hmm...

Nothing about this game surprises me, I think Nintendo purposely made this game as gay as possible to appeal to the LGBTQ-autism generation.

>I criticize the game for not being focused and linear enough
And that's exactly why we're not taking you seriously at all. Why would you want a game to have less options?

>game is linear snorefest a-la Naughty Dog garbage
>LOL PEOPLE PAY 60 BURGERS TO WATCH A MOVIE

>game is completely open ended and lets you move pretty much anywhere in the map
>dipshits like (You) bitch anyway

There is literally no winning. Are you really this stupid?

Because not every game needs to be a fucking sandbox you retarded nigger, and don't say "we" like you represent a posse of homosexual basement dwellers. Let's just make shooters, strategy games, and every other genre a sandbox too, right? Because more options is always better! Jesus Christ, you autists are the cancer killing gaming. Why the fuck wouldn't you want to have games like Skyrim AND games like traditional Zelda?

See, the problem with your utterly autistic logic boils down to:
> sandbox = better
Sorry retarded, that just isn't the case. I know that you have trouble processing this concept, but not every game and every genre needs to be a sandbox to be fun. Linearity provides focus, clear goals, a sense of achievement and progression. There's nothing wrong with open world games that let you explore, just like there's nothing wrong with games that funnel you through an experience. Zelda use to offer both, now it offers only one. Are YOU really too stupid to understand this, or are you going to continue arguing from the viewpoint that every game needs to be a mindless grass sandbox to be good?

A lot of butthurt in this thread. I've not seen one person criticize anything OP said except in regards to climbing. Lol pathetic. Nintentoddlers are out in full force today.

...

I just asked a question, Jesus Christ user.

Non-linearity doesn't work in most genres, but it most certainly does for Zelda.

If you don't see how exploration is fun in this game, then you're probably autistic

> if you don't like repetitive tasks and running around an empty grass field
> then you're probably autistic
Sure dude.

> I just asked a question, Jesus Christ user.
Lol don't be a passive aggressive faggot.

> Non-linearity doesn't work in most genres, but it most certainly does for Zelda.
Except Zelda has always allowed for non-linear exploration, but most of the games also have a relatively linear story structure which introduces, for example, actual dungeons and item rewards that don't feel meaningless and trivial. Therein lies the problem.

>let me speak in extremes!
>that should work!
I'm sure you would've loved Skyward Sword 2, wouldn't you?
It sure was fun being shoved throughout the entire fucking game to go where the game wanted me to go and nowhere else.

But nah, games that hold your hand from start to finish are the way of the future surely.
If you want linearity, there are fucking quest markers. Go talk to Impa. Go kill Ganon and be done with the game because you think it's shit. Or don't, it doesn't matter.
You're crying because the memories and cutscenes aren't laid directly in front of your path and can be triggered on almost any order you want because "that's not fun >:(((".
Any argument is shit when you oversimplify it. And if you can play that game, I guess so can I:
> linear cinematic experience = better
Go and buy another system more suited to your hyper-ridden ass, will you?

meme grass

>Except Zelda has always allowed for non-linear exploration,

Not TP and Skyward Sword

>Not deep enough to compare with Dark Souls
It's parry-2-win, that's about as much depth as Dark Souls has too.

Come on dude, you aren't this autistic. I fully believe that you have the brain power capable of understanding this concept. If a game has a linear story progression, it can still have freedom of exploration. You know, like the older Zelda games? You don't have any cool dungeons in this game, no meaningful item rewards, no memorable character interactions, because the fucking game is GTA with swords and pony tails. What is so difficult for you to grasp about this?

Also, you're arguing from the bizarrely retarded point of view that any type of linearity or focus is bad, but uh, that's kind of the point of Zelda retard. If you want an open world to explore, go play Elder Scrolls. Zelda has always been about story, puzzles, progression. That's what people use to like about the game, and now autists like yourself are calling it the worst part. You don't seem to understand that you can play both sandbox and linear games, not every game needs to be one or the other.

I played it on CEMU recently for a couple of hours and agree with everything you said. You are pretty much me.

Reminder to sage retarded threads like this one. Fuck, op even trying to self bump here it's hilarious

It didn't have as much side content as the other games, but I'm pretty sure being able to go into Hyrule Field and other areas to look for caves, bugs, heartpieces and other shit that isn't integrally linked to the main story is part of non-linear exploration, bud.

> because anytime someone agrees with someone else, it must be samefag.

swimming is generally garbage in video games, so uh, yeah

I'm only stopping by this thread to say that botw is not a 10/10 and people are dick riding hard.

Game is more like an 8. A 9 if you don't care about performance issues

Yet another disgruntled Nintendefender who's upset because someone pointed objective criticism towards a game that he worships. Shit gets so sad, unbelievable. Yet ironically, your manbaby posts only help to bump it.

> muh open world
So basically, you got stuck on Water Temple for 6 hours, had an Asperger's breakdown, gave up, then this game came along and answered your Zelda prayers.

Nice job putting words in my mouth.

Do I have to remind you this shit was their literal first attempt at making an open-world game? Like no shit it isn't perfect, but it sure ain't fucking disgusting like the garbage Ubi pushes out like every 12 hours.
I can guaran-fucking-tee you we didn't get actual "traditional" dungeons because they were constrained to shit on time even after delaying the goddamn game like 5 times.
You can easily tell the items we got are basically engine physics tools and nothing else. Dissapointing? Sure. Boring? Not particularly. This game is an exercise in testing what sticks with players, normies and NEETs alike, and what doesn't. It ended up being delayed so much in the first place because the WiiU was a sinking ship that pretty much demanded a port.
Besides, you can bet your white hairy ass they're going to milk this engine for a good while, so now that they don't have to start from scratch developing it they'll probably invest more time in making more unique and memorable locations.

The game is one big experiment to test the waters in the genre now that they apparently fell for the open world meme as told by Aonuma. Whether this is a good or a bad thing remains to be seen, and to an extent your bitching is true because we got virtually nothing in the way of caves, exciting geography with a purpose to exist or meaningful progression for that matter, but disregarding it as an irredeemable piece of shit in interactive software just screams of attention seeking to fit in among your fellow contrarian Sup Forums denizens.

So basically you just said the game is shit and was only created as an experiment to see how low fans' expectations could get.

Fuck lmao dude.

I'd never seen such a retarded twisting and ignoring of someone else's words to fit your own narrative.

Go return your game then. Go throw it in a campfire. Go microwave it.
If you think it's so shit, then I don't know what you're hoping to achieve by flaunting your oh so patrician taste in videogames. Do you want approval from other cynical, bitter, contrarian assholes? Would that make your e-peen swell with pride?

> If you think it's so shit, then I don't know what you're hoping to achieve by flaunting your oh so patrician taste in videogames
Welcome to Sup Forums, dude. I hope you like it here.

All of OP's criticisms are essentially the same thing: "I don't like the game because it doesn't spoonfeed objectives to me".
As for the dungeons, they know you're going to cheat around the shrines one way or another. It's your fault for ruining it for yourself.

You're an unfortunate victim of the hype and FAKE NEWS reviews. That's why I made it a point to avoid all review sites and only stick to Sup Forums, thus saving myself from false expectations. BotW isn't a bad game, it's a solid 7/10 from all I've seen of it that's worth getting maybe this holiday when either the price of the Switch drops and/or there's more games to choose from, which I myself plan on doing.

I don't think it's a bad game, but it's anything but a 10/10.

I sage all threads. Even on slow boards with threads days old.

Let's see:

> shit graphics
Nothing to do with spoonfed objectives

> shit framerate
Nothing to do with spoonfed objectives

> empty world
Nothing to do with spoonfed objectives

> unnecessary mechanics
Nothing to do with spoonfed objectives

> substance-less shrines
Nothing to do with spoonfed objectives

Lol are you just trying to be autistic, user?

> It's your fault for ruining it for yourself.
LOL this is the most retarded thing I've ever read in my life. So if there was a portal that you could step into, and it would automatically beat the game and roll the credits for you, that's good game design just because I don't "have" to use it? What are you smoking you baboon? The whole fucking point of a puzzle is to solve it, if you can just bypass every puzzle there's no point to having them.