*blocks your path*

*blocks your path*

*evade to the left*

*summons help*
*dies anyway*

*snips umbilical cord* aww what a cute baby you are! please don't cry, little baby! mommy's here, mommy's here... *cradles in arms* it's ok baby it's ok no need to cry.... hush hush now.... *pull shirt down* you like that? make baby orphan tummy feel good? good boy, good boy... *orphan suckles on nipple* yow! you're really hungry, aren't you baby! easy with those teeth! *craesses head* it's ok litte baby... mother Kos wanted this for you, hush now... wow, you're a big stinker, aren't you! *small nibblet of feces ejects from the orphan's behind* *plop!* haha, such a cute baby..... *flips orphan over* SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK.SPANK. SPANK. SPANK. SPANK.

TEN
DAYS
PLATINUM

...

Hmm......

*throw a pebble*
*hit*
*throw a pebble*
*hit*

It took me 10 days to get platinum in one of the easiest games in the history of gaming franchises. Seriously each area following the "chosen hunter" and his excessively buffed weapons from assorted game locations as he fights brainless enemies has been less engaging than the last. Aside from the handholding, the game's only consistency is providing you with absolutely retarded, unchallenging mobs and allowing you to run through all of them without any combative motivation thoughout the entire game. All to make the difficult feel easy, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when From Software voted to make the game a PS4 exclusive; they made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody. just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for the souls series. Bloodborne might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the normalfag game in its refusal of challenge, skill and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the Dark Souls games were good though
"No!"
The enemies were easy; the bosses were unfairly hard. As I played, I noticed that every time a enemy went for an attack, he spent an unrealistic amount of time telegraphing an attack.

I began marking on the back of an envelope every second the enemy stretched his arm back. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope a several dozen times. I was incredulous. Miyazaki's mind is so governed by outdated game design philosophies that he has no other style of challenge. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Dark Souls by the same Kevin-V from Gamespot. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are playing Bloodborne at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to play the Star Wars Jedi Knight." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you play "Bloodborne" you are, in fact, trained to play Jedi Academy.

...

Hiromoot needs to just delete Sup Forums
I'm sick of these meta crossposting memes

What. The. Fuck.

I wish this pasta bullshit was a bannable offence

...

...

...

When you expose Soulscucks to the flaws in their church and thus invite the fanatics to immediately call this a shitpost and not just truth.

Was it worth the 1 day ban?

not even a subtle pasta phamalam

...

...

There's several shit that needs to be removed.
Pointless waste of boards like fucking /mlp/, Sup Forums, /lgbt/, /s4s/, /vr/, etc.
Go full authoritarian and fucking mass ban shitposters and meme spewers, and not just for fucking 1-3 days, go way back to like 2 weeks-month+. Prohibit mobileposters from posting, they can view threads, just not post at all.

I honestly prefer him over The First Victor.

...

*stances your path*

>Beat Ludwig seventh try
>Beat Living Failures second try
>Beat Maria fourth
>Orphan thirty-second
>Laurence forty+

Am I shit? I think I'm shit.

...

>Orphan

YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOWWWWWWW!

>brother??

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
*Sniff* *Sniff*

No worries man, I have around 200 deaths on SL4 Maria.
What matters is beating it, not how many tries it takes you to. There are too many factors involved to make deaths on first playthrough an accurate measurement of skill.

...

you're probably too greedy and you dodge too much

What weapon and build were you using?
Most people who say they beat orphan and Laurence first try cheesed them.

Its literally a repurposed Sup Forums and /lit/ pasta ya fucking moron

*kites you to the water*
*easily evades your attacks*

Psshht..........easy....