I want to ask you question Sup Forums

I want to ask you question Sup Forums.

Why do you play video games? Honest answer.

Im asking because I cannot answer on my own. I cant recall when was the last time I felt joy, even when playing video games. Everyday I wake up to do my duties, return home, eat and play video games for hour or two before going sleep. Backlog stopped growing too much when I realized that its pointless to buy new games when old ones are still there to play, but its still about duty - I play games I feel that I have to, clear them, place on shelf - virtual or real one - and play another. Its not about fun, its about another duty I need to fulfill. Same as every other duty that awaits there - finishing PhD, curing lack of social skills and forming family, forever locking myself to share home with some foreign person. Doing same things everyday, in same place, same never-changing country.

Why Im doing this?

Why you play video games, Sup Forums?

Sorry for philosophical drama or other bullshit but I just want to know. Honestly.

Anyone?

I think they're fun

last time I felt when playing vidya I was anout 11 and just beat darth maul in the episode 1 movie game for ps1

It's called having a hobby.

to escape my thoughts

You're burned out nigga, go read books or watch a show. Maybe put together model airplanes or something. Take a break from vidya for a couple weeks. Hit the gym a few times a week and get /fit/, or start walking around the park.

It's important to have a wide range of hobbies, if you focus too much on just one you get burned out.

I play them because I like them.
Why I like them is a whole other question.

Because i have nothing else to do.
I have like 5 close friends i hang with, we go out and hang out on the weekends (because no work/school those days), but when I'm not with them, I have absolutely nothing to do.
Got no hobbies, Anime sucks and nothing else to do on the net except memes.
So i just play games instead, which is boring too, just slightly less.

Because it's fun dipshit. If you don't like it then go do something else instead of polluting Sup Forums with your shitty blog threads.

Habit. Been playing since around 6+ years old boi and it sticked so I dont make waves about it and just continue doing so. It fills the void and brings enjoyment at barely any costs and sometimes I learn something about the world around me or myself.

But I do like it. I play video games since I was like 8 eyars old. I dont have other ways of spending free time.

play whats fun. games are shittier now than they were before. any claims otherwise is based solely on the industrialization of games. they're not better games they're just better products

I tried making mod for XCUM 2 but gave up at some point due to lack of info about how to code everything in Unreal editor.

But it felt nice to actually do custom animation for example.

maybe you're depressed?

Everyone around me says that depression is "fake excuse" and "failture generation" explanation for not wanting to get to work. Or something.

I play games for fun when I want too. Stop having a schedule you fucking retard. Don't have a locked away time to do something, or else it will feel like a duty. Seriously you can have a locked away time to jack off and after a while jacking off will feel boring and like a duty.

Don't ruin yourself with timetables. Just play things only when you feel like doing it.

For the challenge, and to have fun.

I kind of know what you mean, though. When I was younger and played a lot more often, it was more of a routine than a way to unwind.

I'm not an expert but I've always thought that there's a difference between being truly depressed and just being bored. I think the generation in question is just used to constant entertainment. Everywhere they look they have a screen to show them funny pictures or talk with their friends. When you have to sit down and commit to something like a video game, you get bored because you already know how the game works. There's nothing new or interesting about it.
again, that's all gut feelings. Feel free to call me retarded

That might worked in the past but when I have limited free time, I constantly feel like I NEED to avoid wasting a single minute because I have so little of it.

When I had longer break during last summer, I could sit and read something, take some really old game and recall it, nowdays I feel like I MUST play when I have a chance.

I play games because they're challenging, fun, and I can socialize with people while playing them. I love playing new games and doing things I haven't done before. I sometimes get involved in fandoms.

Maybe you're just playing the wrong vidya? Try out a new genre? Play with people online? Or maybe you really just need a hobby.

You said you're finishing a PhD. That shit's hard work. Maybe it's not that you don't enjoy vidya, but that you're not enjoying ANYTHING. Even if you think you are. It's called depression and maybe stress overload. You'll probably feel better once you complete it.

If a game can't keep your interest, drop it instead of thinking you'll come back later. When you find something you really enjoy you'll want to keep going.

>You'll probably feel better once you complete it.

Once I complete it, it will probably look the same as it was with engineer and master degree - congratulations and next day back to work.

But yeah, I kinda cant recall when I felt happy for the last time. I cant stop now, however, especially since everyone reminds me that there is no time.

Well then you are just overbusy, maybe you should avoid playing games for a while and do something else in that time. Are you in uni? Maybe wait till you are done uni, or just wait until your urge to play games is so high you can't help yourself but play.

...

>I realized that its pointless to buy new games when old ones are still there to play

Took me like 5 years after I started getting paychecks to realize that buying videogames when you haven't finished your backlog is a terrible mistake.
Nowadays I try to leave videogames as the last thing to do during my free time, I have a lot of titles and I know if I start trying to play them all I'll be old and miserable because I didn't gave a chance to other activities such as outdoor stuff.

Well your problem right there is just that—you have no time. Unless your work makes you happy, you have no time to be happy. No time to be human. We're not designed evolutionarily speaking to work all day every day and remain happy—it makes no sense. An hour or two a day of spare time? I'd hate that.

I think the average spare time spent on leisure activities of Americans is about 4-5 hours a day. If you only get 2 max, there's a problem. You're only getting half the average amount.

I read an interesting article about why Denmark is rated as the happiest country in the world. They get over six hours of free time a day, which sounds insane for us Americans, who have some of the lowest rates of free time in the world (about 2-3 hours less than Denmark). Americans who move to Denmark put in so many hours that they get reprimanded for it since it makes them see like they're making up for being less productive.

Perhaps time is the issue? I'd look into it if I were you. Hope you don't have kids.

There's nothing else to do.

Well, traveling to and from work takes around hour or around one way, to be honest. But I guess you are right. Now the question is, what should I do about it. I mean, how to fix it.

>Hope you don't have kids.

I will have to. Everyone expects me to. It will be hard, with 3 years until wizardhood and no social skills/experience.

I think my reasons and thoughts boil down to "real world a shit, A SHIT". Not that it can't be fun in short bursts.

That's complete bullshit and only parroted by people who's only had normie depression because they missed a concert or didn't get a job. Real depression is playing video games everyday to escape the reality of wanting to neck yourself, never having any sort of fun because of some level of anhedonia, staying in bed for days at a time because you feel so empty inside that there's nothing to drive you out.

Having real depression means you're born with a brain that's wired to make you feel like shit, not because something you perceived as bad happened to you that you'll get over in a few weeks.

ITT: Retards who don't actually like video games anymore who keep playing them and retards who don't know how to occupy themselves with other hobbies so they keep doing what they've always done

If you say any answer other than "to have fun" you need to re-evaluate some shit. If you're depressed, playing video games will only make it worse. If you don't know what to do with yourself, there is literally thousands of hobbies. If you're not having fun playing video games but continue to play them, just stop playing them it's that simple.

And one last thing because this really got to me. Just because some kids are starving in africa, or if someone has it worse of then me, doesn't mean my problems don't exist. Knowing someone else is suffering just as much, if not more, does nothing to help me with my issues.

I've always had fun playing them since I was a kid. Never grew out of it. As for my psyche, My lack of social skills came from me being a awkward spaz in school and getting alienated by my peers because of it. Even if I didn't have video games, I'm pretty damn sure I still would've ended up like this.

>since it makes them see like they're making up for being less productive.
That's not too far from the truth. It's takes people at my store 3 hours to stock 1 uboat worth of merchandise, while it only takes me 30min.

>if you're depressed, having fun will only make it worse

Spoken like a true psychologist. I wonder how many people you've "cured" online with such advice.

Because they're fun and I love vidya.

>staying in bed for days at a time because you feel so empty inside that there's nothing to drive you out.

Damn it, thats how I feel some days (lately once again) and how I felt almost constantly for months last year. When I feel hungry when waking up, feeling that I need to make some breakfast but I just want to keep sleeping.

>Just because some kids are starving in africa, or if someone has it worse of then me

Thats what people usually tells me too. That I should feel thankful because others are working 12 hours per day for minimal price.

Yeah this, I was a complete spaz in school and and the textbook example of being a faggot. Made fun of a lot of people, but I couldn't take any banter myself, alienated a lot of people because of how blunt I was, pushed people away because of how mean I was too. Now that I'm older I can look back and see why I was the most hated kid in school, and now that I am holding a job my social skills have improved immensely. I still drop spaghetti, but I have the confidence to not let it bother me or wake up cringing at it at night.

Not entirely true, you can gain depression at any point in life from many different sources. You might be born with a sort of natural tendency to be sad, but the term 'depression' is a clinical state of being, not a genetic disorder.

>should feel thankful that other people are suffering worse than you

That's some FUCKED up shit.

because death takes a long time to arrive

Because its entertaining and fun. Thats also the reason why i downhill ski, fish, read, watch movies and series and hike in nature. You're depressed.

>what is reading comprehension

Playing games for escapism WILL make your depression worse when you are done playing games and have to come back to the real world. Staying in bed all day makes it worse, waking up at 5pm and going to bed when the sun comes up makes it worse.

I know from experience and obviously, these things are different from person to person but personally I just felt like shit when I was depressed and playing games.

I swear to god some of you faggots on here actually LIKE being depressed because you wouldn't know what to do with yourself if you were happy.

Where do you live, OP? If you say Seattle I'm going to feel sorry for you.

Playing multiple genres serve multiple purposes for me.
Playing competitive games like Rocket League or any FPS makes me compete in skill and and makes me strive in order to control the outcome of a match. I'll get mad if I lose, the proof that I still didn't lose the thrill and will to win.
Sometimes I play games to cool down from work or my social life, mainly Civilization or Atelier games for being so goddamn comfy.
There are also tons of other games out there that just makes you nod your head like a stupid kid at how awesome it is. The new Zelda game just does that to you.
I'll be counting on VR to get out of its niche use for video game experience and can stand on its own two feet, further increasing its usefulness (whether for simulating certain traumas or just to make us get closer to 2D)

I know, but a lot of the time when people talk about depression they're just talking about feeling sad because something bad happened, so then you get a situation like in with people calling it an excuse. That shit makes me furious because everyday I feel like wanting to neck myself. I have a fucking noose in my closet, tied and ready, I'm just waiting for my breaking point to come, but people want to tell me my depression isn't real. Fuck you, man, walk a day in my shoes and feel how I feel everyday and come back with that shit.

That last sentence isn't direct at you, if it wasn't clear btw

>I swear to god some of you faggots on here actually LIKE being depressed because you wouldn't know what to do with yourself if you were happy.

Kinda reminds me how I realized that even if I would get courage to talk to girls, to invite one to date or anything, I still would screw things over for her and myself ebcause I have NO IDEA what to do after. I completely dont understand how people should act as couples and anything.

No, not in US, its Poland

My nigga, that fight was hard as shit

>I swear to god some of you faggots on here actually LIKE being depressed
It's hard to describe, but being depressed feels good in a very weird way. I feel more comfortable being depressed than when I'm happy, that should go a long way in telling you how often I feel like shit when happiness feels so alien to me.

>normie depression

of all the shit I read on Sup Forums this really takes the cake

To get my mind off crippling depression. It rarely works. I have 300+ games in backlog and I play something off of it every few days, but god damned indie bundles make me rack up new games faster.
I rarely start on a new game if it isn't on a friday evening/after work. I need to ability to play from start to finish in one sitting for some reason, otherwise it doesn't seem worth it to even start playing.
I've contemplated suicide for a decade, but lately I've -really- started to consider it. I have nothing and nobody to live for, I'm an objective failure with no future, I'm just fucking everything I do up for everyone around me, and I'm sick and tired of being a burden.

Yeah I know it sounds retarded, but I have no other way to describe it. Call me a shitter, I deserve it.

None taken. I always feel bad reading these kinds of posts on Sup Forums. It seems a lot of people on here are either depressed and say "what's the point in playing video games" or they just make fun of you for being depressed because they're not.

I once read that IQ was the primary prerequisite for the capacity to feel empathy, meaning that people who are generally shitty with each other are actually dumber than people who are nicer.

You have a right to feel sad, it's okay to feel that way. It's human. Nobody can take that from you. I'd advise getting off of Sup Forums for a while, it's really turned into a shitpot of neo-politics, shaming, and the influx of inhumane narcissists. It's kind of always been that way, but not THIS bad.

You don't need to have kids if you don't want to.

I used to think like you, I used to have a girlfriend. We broke up a few years ago (after 5 years together), I moved out, got a great job, and suddenly realized I honestly couldn't give a shit about romantic relationships or having kids/a family. I go to work, enjoy my job, chat with coworkers and friends, and then I go home and play videogames, do my hobbies (music, anime, reading). I really can't have the time to have a romantic relationship and/or kids, and that's alright! I can hit up girls whenever I am bored, go out for pubs with friends, but at the end of the day I go home and enjoy my life free of obligations.

You should live your life for what you want, not what other people want. Make the best of the little time we have on this Earth, user. Do you really want to throw away your life because of social/moral obligations? Who the fuck are the other people telling you how to live *your* life? It's the only life you got, in the end we all go down the endless void, so why worry about all that cruft that just ends up ruining your enjoyment?

I play games because I enjoy them, I dont want to do normie things in life. I think of lot of people are lucky to have this niche to cling onto because it makes us happy or sheer escapism. if not for games i'd end up being one of those depressed faggots that dont know what else to do in life.

You have some right but every girl at my age I see around is either married or close to. If I would try after few years, it would be too late, since Im already close to point of no return.

To be honest, I constantly feel like if my whole purpose in life is to serve. My parents, my family, etc.

>but not THIS bad
That's what someone says in almost every thread for over a decade.

>I swear to god some of you faggots on here actually LIKE being depressed because you wouldn't know what to do with yourself if you were happy.

If you actually had depression you would understand that feeling. I suffered through depression and still have the occasional episode (that I learned to control) and the #1 thing that makes you depressed is actually knowing that you should not be doing what you are doing, but you simply can't avoid it.

>I need to get out of bed and go outside... but maybe later
>I should really call that friend... nah, what's the point
>Oh my god my house is a mess and I should clean it.. but I just want to sleep.
>I'm such a terrible person for not cleaning my house as I said I would do today

etc etc

These are all self-reinforcing thoughts that simply make depression worse and that's why it's so hard to escape depression alone and without external help. You need to learn how to push yourself past your comfort zone and start doing stuff even if you don't want to and, most of all, even if you think it won't matter. Depression makes you think it won't help, but in reality it *will* help, even if you don't think it will.

Now go out and take that walk, user. You have to. I know you don't enjoy walking outside in the sun through the park, but just do it. Stop asking questions.

I feel this way. While I recognize that I'm technically mentally "ill" because of it, I just can't accept that reality is, for the most part, boring. What really drives me insane is that it seems like there could be a lot more novelty in the world, but people deliberately seek out routine and monotony. After a lot of pondering/soul-searching, I realized that that's just the way nature works. I think the 1900s were just a massive fluke in human history/development and gave us totally warped ideas of what we are and where we're going. But it's not limited to human society, everything trends toward "lowest energy, highest entropy" as they say. And I dunno, I just can't/refuse to accept that. I guess you could say I'm a victim of irrational exuberance.

Honestly at this point the only reason I haven't offed myself is because I'm terrified of pain/gore and also the thought of botching it and ending up as a vegetable or something. But even that fear is steadily eroding. I'm frankly thankful because these last few years have been hell and I really can't see myself continuing in this fashion any more.

What is his only enjoyment in life turns out to be murder-rape?

>I once read that IQ was the primary prerequisite for the capacity to feel empathy, meaning that people who are generally shitty with each other are actually dumber than people who are nicer.

Then I guess I'm a fucking retard
I was absolutely awful to people. One time I stole this kids book bag before class started and ran around campus thinking this was how you make friends.

>To be honest, I constantly feel like if my whole purpose in life is to serve. My parents, my family, etc.

I think we're getting to the foundation of what's actually wrong in your life, user. That's great, at least we identified a possible problem that we can work towards. I'm no psychologist so don't take everything I say for a fact, but you should try to work on that and rethink if you really want to keep living your life like this or not. Maybe actually go to a real psychologist, memes aside they can help.

You deserve to be happy, it's your life. If you don't work on your own issues with your own life, you won't be able to enjoy videogames as much as you could, you owe it to yourself. Try to make that change user, I believe in you.

>What is his only enjoyment in life turns out to be murder-rape?

Then so be it. From a single person's selfish point of view that's fine. I'd consider them twisted and sick in the head, but I'm not the one to judge and dictate how others should live their lives. They just need to understand that for every action taken, there are consequences, and those might not be pleasant (see: jail, getting killed, etc). Not my problem anyway.

If people have been saying it's getting worse for ten years, it's definitely getting worse. Actually I think people in generally are just getting shittier. So bad you can't even post about a game you like without a bunch of edgelords posting about how you should hang yourself for liking said game.

eh if I didn't have videogames I would have turned to any other niche hobby. It's something to do on the off time and it brings enough joy for the amount of effort I put in. Also there is escapism

A friend used to insist that being genuinely intelligent is also why people like me overthink excessively (and overthinking causes me depression, rage, anxiety, fear, stress etc).

>>Why do you play video games? Honest answer.
to pass time

>Honestly at this point the only reason I haven't offed myself is because I'm terrified of pain/gore and also the thought of botching it and ending up as a vegetable or something. But even that fear is steadily eroding. I'm frankly thankful because these last few years have been hell and I really can't see myself continuing in this fashion any more.

The thing I always think about when I even remotely consider killing myself (I'm not suicidal, I don't feel that tendency, so it might be different for you) is that it honestly does not fucking matter. You want to kill yourself because you think life is boring? Because you cannot get any enjoyment?

Then fuck it, man, go out and live your life. Start walking towards one direction, go in the woods, explore. The worst outcome is death, but you're already prepared for that, so who cares? Go live that life of yours, it's the only chance you have and you are the one that decides what to do. It's *your* story. Nobody else's. You can make the conscious choice of make life more entertaining. You want to kill yourself because of the boring and mundane routine that is slowly killing you inside? Withdraw all the money you have from an ATM, get a plane to somewhere else like the whole opposite side of the world, and start fucking exploring. Chances are you will die in a desert or in a forest, or mugged in russia or raped in bangkok or whatever. Who gives a shit, at least you can say you tried to make the best of the life you had instead of just killing yourself in your dark room because you felt bored by everything else.

Just. Go. Outside.

>Withdraw all the money you have from an ATM, get a plane to somewhere else like the whole opposite side of the world, and start fucking exploring.
Not him but I've actually considered doing this so many times, but I'll just fuck everything up somehow as usual and die with the purest regret instead.

I have a lot of moments like that, where someone will tell me to do something really obvious that I was already planning to do, so then I think it's something deeper because why would someone state the obvious? So then I do completely the opposite of what I'm supposed to be doing thinking that's what they really meant.
The same thing happens when I try to tell jokes, I go for very obscure references or puns, then most people don't get them, so then I go for the most obvious joke that just states the obvious, and that's what makes people laugh, low-hanging fruit humor. I'm always thinking that I need to really dig into something because a lot of shit just seems so obvious that whatever someone tells me must have 300 hidden layers of meaning.

>Try to make that change user, I believe in you.

Thank you. Maybe I needed somebody to say that.

Thanks. Truly. And I will check, if uni psychologist will let me in, then.

The worst regret you can have is dying with the realization that you're too old to take the chance that you missed when you were younger because you were afraid of fucking it up and regretting it.

In my case it's more like spending hours trying to fall asleep before I need to get up for work, thinking about every single step of how to get away with setting my place on fire and escaping/dying with it as efficiently as possible, or every single moment that has lead me to why I'm friendless/why I should quit all contact with my best friend who has insisted for years to keep me around as a friend while I've threatened to remove them many many times for their own safety yet lately they've actually seemingly started to finally lose interest and barely respond to anything so it's a self-fulfilled fuck-up yet again and...

Entertainment, sometimes a fix for my desire to play against others, get to feel like I'm good at shit sometimes. Easier than doing much else, it's just an extra hobby alongside my others. I get sick of it sometimes, but I go to another hobby for a while. The perk of vidya is that it's varied, so eventually I find something different enough to enjoy again.

You actually made me cry, fuck you user

Yeah, that's also the other half of my moments. I get so preoccupied with my thoughts that I end up lost in them, like my body is on auto-pilot. When someone tries to talk to me when I'm lost in thought like that, I end up having to ask them what they just said, or end up having a conversation I have to figure out as it's going down. Most of the time I just look like a complete retard, like I have nothing but air in my head.
I mean, sometimes I'll even walk past 5 aisles past the one I need to go into at my job, just thinking about shit, and when I realize my mistake it's like waking up from a daydream.

>waking up from a daydream with the teacher yelling at you, and the entire class giving you stares.

It even fucking happens while I type, because I'm like 4 paragraphs ahead in my head, and I forget what I was going to write by the time my hands catch up.

So you're me. It feels ever so slightly better that I'm not alone, thanks.

Are you me OP

>In my case it's more like spending hours trying to fall asleep before I need to get up for work

I had that same problem too. It's a very common "modern man" problem that a lot of people seem to have that they don't realize. It comes from computers and screens overstimulating our brains. We get to a point where it's late as fuck and your body is tired, but your brain is wide awake processing a shitload of sensory inputs, thoughts, and a lot of stuff. Imagine like your brain is convinced it's the middle of the day while it's actually 4am and your arms and legs feel heavy and you just want to go to fucking sleep.

My sleep cycle used to be totally messed up because of this and it was seriously impacting my social life at work and with friends. I was tired and washed out during work and when I got home I'd just start play videogames until late night and then my brain would wake up because overstimulated and I wouldn't be able to fall asleep etc etc rinse and repeat.

Here's how I made it better and honestly my life became *so* *so* much fucking better. More energy, better at socializing, waking up with the feeling of actually wanting to get out of bed, etc.

Step 1: Turn off your PC at midnight (before midnight is better, but I chose midnight as my starting point). It doesn't matter what you are doing, imagine your mom is behind you and will pull the plug even if you weren't able to find a save point in that JRPG. You need to plan around that, don't start a CSGO game at 11:30pm knowing that at 12:00am you will have to go to bed. Even if you are a grown ass adult.

Step 2: Don't stare at any screen in bed, don't use a tablet or phone to "fall asleep" while browsing Sup Forums/reddit/whatever. That's the biggest catalyst that will fuck your sleep cycle up.

[continued]

There are a couple of factors at play here. One is that I feel abnormal amounts of shame and tend to view my life in a sort of metatextual way, so to speak. Which is to say, if I decide to go wild as you say, and then end up dying for some stupid reason a week outside of leaving, then that to me seems "worse"/more shameful than just quietly dying in my room. If I were to assign a "narrative" to both scenarios, the first would be the story of some idiot loser who gets in over his head and dies out of stupidity, whereas the second would be the story of someone who decided to stop playing an unfair game with dignity. I know it doesn't matter materially, since I'd be dead either way, but that's just how I think.

But regardless of how weird/stupid that logic is, the other major factor is this
>The worst outcome is death
statement. Given what you've said you probably haven't thought much about it, but there are SEVERAL things worse than death. I honestly live a fairly comfortable life right now and I still want to off myself. I might have a warped perception of reality but even I realize that my situation has the potential to be orders of magnitude worse than it is. And there are scenarios where I end up in places like jails or asylums, where I'd not only have much less stimulus(and most of it negative to boot), but I would no longer even have the option of escape, i.e. death.

The feeling is mutual.

escapism
I don't like them, but they're better than real life

fuck videogames
fuck life

for me its like my brain is running so fast that i end up glossing over a lot of details and end up looking like a complete fucking retard. i failed math all through school because i tried to work too fast in my head, which is weird because i always kicked ass on the classwork, but always bombed the fucking tests

I need to leave this thread or i will wanna kill myself again, and i'd rather drown myself in shitty vidya games than that

[cont'd]

Step 3: Get yourself one of those smart alarm apps in your phone that you place on your bed and listens to your circadian rhythm and detects what's the optimal timeframe for you to wake up. This makes it more natural for you to wake up on your own, it feels like you decided when to wake up, and the app makes sure the alarm doesn't sound while you are in your deepest sleep stage, which is what makes you wake up in the shittiest mood cause you were *just* having a great dream.

Step 4: If you want to read, read a real paper book. A kindle/e-ink screen is fine too. I found out that reading a book actually made me really sleepy instead of making me tired but awake (compared to a screen). When I go straight to bed it still takes me 5-10 minutes to fall asleep, if I am reading a book however, I get tired after ~10ish minutes of reading and end up closing the book, turning off the light and I am instantly sleeping. It's so satisfying. That's because your brain slowly shuts down as you are reading and gets ready to sleep so it's much easier for you to transition into sleep after reading a (paper!!) book.

Step 5: Start waking up early. At the moment I manage to wake up every day at 6am but that's a bit extreme for a lot of people. Just try to wake up early enough and still have a solid 7-8 hours sleep. Go to bed at midnight and wake up at 7:30 for example (depending on your job and obligations). Even during weekends. I noticed that since I started waking up early, I am more tired in the evening and I am more likely to go to bed before midnight on my own (ties back to Step #1).

[continued]

[cont'd]


Step 6, last step: Don't break the routine! You need to get your body used to this new routine. Try not to fall for the "I'll just go to bed later today" or "I'll just read a bit on the phone just today" because once you do, it will be twice as hard to break again. If you can keep this up for 2-3 weeks, chances are your body adapts to the new rhythm and you will be over all in a much much better and healthier point in your life.

This all worked out for me, you should really try. It's awesome on the other side. You can do it user.

I wake up at 2am for my job, it's become a part of me now.

I'm saving these tips. Thanks chum.
>6AM
Heh, I already have to get up by then just to barely make it in time for work.

Speaking of which, I'm going to bed now, it's almost midnight where I live. Sleep tight etc.

>I feel abnormal amounts of shame and tend to view my life in a sort of metatextual way

This sounds like a very deep and ingrained issue. I can't relate, because I am the total opposite, however I can understand what's happening. I really recommend talking about this to somebody qualified like a psychologist. This is probably the #1 internal wall that you have that is blocking you and it would be a shame to get your life ruined for a "simple" issue like this. Imagine what you would be doing if you get help and you manage to overcome this obstacle. You'll be free. Break out of your cocoon and improve on that, user. It's entirely doable, all it takes is that first step out of the door. It's the little things that carry you far in life.

>Given what you've said you probably haven't thought much about it, but there are SEVERAL things worse than death.

I don't believe so. Death is the ultimate punishment. Death is the ultimate step. You don't come back from death, once it's there, it's done. I believe that death is the ultimate "goal" and that everything else in life will eventually lead you to that anyway. There are different ways to die, but I prefer to think about it as there are different ways to live. You have no control over your death, but you have control over your life. Your life is now, and you can do whatever the fuck you want. We often have these sad guard rails in our mind that make us think that we are actually forced to do the things we do by somebody else but that's all bullshit. You can decide for yourself what to do, and in that instant you are free.

There's no point in being afraid of anything else than death. You can control everything else, just not death. So why worry? As I said before, if you feel like you should skip some steps and go straight to death, why not take the scenic route and just fuck it go outside and eventually death will come knocking anyway to all of us.

All this talk is reminding me of this problem I used to have(well I guess maybe still have?) about "guilt," for lack of a better term. When I was a kid, I'd always get nervous when things were going too well for me, if I was winning at a game, etc. so I'd suddenly blurt out stuff like "I'm not cheating" or shit like that. In my mind, people were cutthroat suspicious monsters all the time so I was always preemptively trying to cover my bases like that. The thing is, trying to cover for shit is a sign of guilt in most people, so there were a lot of times when I'd get blamed for things I didn't do because I was afraid of getting blamed for things I didn't do.

Was anyone else like that?

I have fun and I value them as an artform and want see how people explore the medium

You are hanging out with antiintellectual retards

>You can control everything else
Wow seriously check your privilege, I'm only half joking.

>This sounds like a very deep and ingrained issue.
I mean, the facts speak for themselves, but I personally can't/refuse to see it as an issue. I've always been a very philosophy/ethics obsessed person and I can't stand the idea of living a purely pragmatic life. Maybe(probably) that idealism will get me killed someday. But I think I'd be okay with that if the alternative was to give it up.

For fun, story and competitiveness

I think its fun to take in the gameplay, graphics of the fantasy world youre in and enjoy yourself
Played Sonic 2 HD earlier and some pubg games. Just recently beat ganon in botw. Life is good :)

I don't.
Occasionally I start up one of the hundreds of unplayed games in my library.
I play for a couple of minutes before shutting it down again.
Video games shit.