User, do you have a mic?

>user, do you have a mic?

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fuck you OP, I didn't need this feel

>Yes, but fuck you guys I'm not speaking
>Hahah ok user, join in anyway

>have a mic but don't talk
>user why don't you use your mic?
>get sweaty
>leave the party and set my status to offline

>ask if anyone has a mic
>someone speaks up
>immediately call them a faggot and argue with them over the next 25 mins

I don't mean to be so rude and mean anons, it kinda just happens and I really just want to be friends

>i can't use it right now i'm in a windy air tunnel

>wait you got a mic this whole time?
>why didn't you use it instead of typing
>*gunshot*

>"No"

>Try to join a guild
>Starts RPing
>Don't know what to do
>Alt + F4

That line means insta Alt+F4

This is too real

...

I don't have any friends so I can keep using this method.

>guy i met on some forum asks me to play with him and use voice chat
>it's awkard but we still play
>was ok
>then he asks to get on skype with him
>say that it will be awkward
>he insists
>join him on skype
>4 hours of mostly silence
i'll never play with voice chat ever again desu senpai

There aren't any good multiplayer games anymore so that isn't a problem. At least not any games that involve playing pubs. I'm always on mumble with a few IRL friends but haven't made any e-friends in almost a decade.

>hey user, join my discord so we can chat and play
>join channel
>20 people in chat
>leave

i'm not chatting to all of those normies

>online friends ask if I have a mic
>get sweaty
>shortness of breath
>heart rate starts to increase
>see expensive gaming headset I only use to listen to movies and music late at night handing on top of the tower
>get a rare burst of confidence
>fuck this, I'm talking to these people
>put mic on, plug in, etc
>party members notice and get excited
>"hi guys...well...how are you?"
>everyone starts laughing
>voice is nasally, high pitched, and sounds like a perpetual teenager stuck at that awkward 13 year old stage of puberty where the voice has deepened a bit without filling out at all
>they start making fun of me
>unplug the mic
>leave the party
>delete all of them from steam and discord
>cry
I didn't ask for this. Why couldn't fate bless me with a voice for radio like so many other ugly virgin autists. I have nothing.

>user, why are you playing video games on a saturday night?

get one of those voice changer programs. Those things are good god damn!

ITT bitch bois who probably order their pizza online because they're too afraid to talk on the phone

>using the phone for talking

what are you? 70?

Get with the times gramps

i-i just don't like talking

>on console
>asking for mic when no one uses it

No one uses it save for popular 360 shit

nigga i order it online for the discounts and shopping around for which items i want

>join a discord
>don't know what to say
>post a picture of a videogame and try to start up some discussion
>everyone ignores me
>get sweaty, arms heavy, knees weak
>make a big post literally saying "lol just pretending guys!!!"
>one guy tells me to shut up
>log out of discord and never go back

I don't talk because of my accent and fear of mispelling something.

t. faggot who prefers 3D over 2D and sleeps at night instead of during the day

Literally just practice talking into a mirror.

>mispelling
>talking

I want to hear how horrible your accent is now.

what a normie, pfft

Next thing will be that he actually ENJOYS video games

is my built in mic ok?

You need to find a small comfy channel solely populated by autists. It's great.

>user, you have a mic?
>I can't speak english properly. I'd rather not talk, but I can hear you fags.
Meh

I can monologue like an autist reciting vidya villain speeches into the mirror all day long, doesn't help with casual conversation.

s-shut up

2d isn't real

>Pretend to be a girl
>"do you have a mic"
>"no sorry it's broken" :(
>"I'll send you money for one!" :)
>delete account

youtube.com/watch?v=V0EZobdiJ4M

I don't use a mic because I rarely play with irl friends and don't like small talk and banter with other shmedlaps I hardly know, and having some guy say "WATCH OUT FOR THE THING THAT ALREADY KILLED YOU" or yelling "GOD DAMMIT" when they screw up isn't helpful or enjoyable to me.

who else /nothingwrongwithvoicebutlivewithparents/ here?

Accept the money and THEN delete the account next time friend

Half a dozen different people have thought I'm a middle aged man when I talk

...

>Talking on the phone in 2017

>girl joins server
>starts singing
>it's actually pretty good
>everyone vote kicks her
EVERY TIME

Practice maintaining clear non grating speech until you're so use to doing it you can do it in casual conversation.

I would just say through the mic "no, fuck you" and keep playing. Luckily, I don't play multiplayer games anymore, I have enough social interaction.

>talk to americans
>they can't understand me
>talk to any other group of people
>they have no issue understanding me

>press push to talk button
>sneeze

Based. Fuck attentionwhores.

>be 28 years old
>playing Call of Duty Modern Warfare
>playing with the same guys on the same server for a week or two
>invited to their teamspeak
>chatting for a couple of hours
>some more guys join the chat
>start bullying me
>turns out one is a nigger
>get into a heated arguement with this particular person
>call him nigger, black and other terms deemed inappropriate by todays standards
>he calls me bad names too
>mom comes downstairs to my room
>asks me why I'm being so disrespectful
>I say that he was bullying me
>mom takes away my power lead
>doesn't turn computer off first

I hate my mom

Good, there's literally no reason for her to be singing

It would leave a trail though

>make throat clearing and coughing noises until someone notices me

>I'll send you money for one!"
Someone said that to me. I instantly fucking hated that person and in fact it was a long time internet friend that should have known my disdain for mic conversations.

What's your accent from?

french canadian

>BRO YOUR VOICE IS SOOOOO DEEP

>be british
>americans try to impersinate my accent

>got no problems talking to people irl
>online I'm a stuttering sperg
shits crazy

I will never get to hear that, fuck

lol gay af nigger
Voulez vouz avec muh cheeseburger

suck me cock, retard

>Be southern
>Europeans try to impersonate my accent

>tfw lisp
just fucking kill me, I don't even like talking in real life. people think I'm literally mentally retarded because I don't talk

le vasistas?

>Just walk down to Walmart and buy one

I feel bad for your mom.

>Tfw too anxious to mic when parents are home or when I'm at uni and roommate is here

We're just upset that most of us are retarded mongrelized numales with no culture and are going to be estados unidos soon why did you abandon us daddy.

feels good

If you're playing a game that requires communication and you don't have a mic, uninstall the game because you're shit and you always will be.

>sure, let me plug it in.

>Ok, that's coo- WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR KEYBOARD SO LOUD

>friend tells me to go to a random teamspeak server
>join
>the second I do some random comes into the channel and is like "Good day, sir, and what is the purpose of your visit?"
>Tell him that I'm here to play a game with my friend
>"Very good, have fun."
>Goes back into his own channel

Is this shit normal?

>Be Ukrainian
>people invite me to Discord to speak via mic
>after every word I say - I get sweaty and nervious for my English level and my accent

I just stick to quick callouts and what not so I don't disturb them while they sleep or so they don't hear me and start fucking with me. My mom will come in and start whispering and mouthing words like "Are you on the phone?"

Voice activation niggers need to fuck off and die
you are cancer

My mum is pretty chill.

The most I'll get is her poking her head into the room if I starting laughing or yelling too loud.

>When I was a kid joined a party with people from school
>Don't speak that often or loudly because I'm pretty shy anyway
>When I do everyone makes fun of how loud it is
>Move mic away from face and speak even quieter
>Apparently it's still really loud
Still don't know whether it was legit or they were just making it up.

don't worry everyone thinks accents are cool

Tell them you only learned English to tell them you hate their gay nulanguage and curse them out in Ukrainian.

>use mic
>get called a fag
>dont use mic for like a whole year for fear

"no"

N-NANI??

Unless you're underage you should have no problem talking online.

...

I like Russian accents, but I'm a kraut and English isn't my first language s I dunno.

Tell them you're Russian and talk about Putin a lot. No autist would dare crossing you.

what if you're socially awkward and/or autistic?

"Yes but I have anxiety and speaking to people makes me uncomfortable"

"We totally understand dude, it's all good"

Get better friends. Nowadays even normies are supportive of mental health issues. Your friends have to be 100% assholes to not be supportive

>Tfw somehow have Russian accent
>Not even russian
>not even slav
>dont even fucking speak any slav languages
>get asked if im a russian every time

b urself :^)

I would order online more if any local places let me do online tips. I don't like carrying cash on me so shit sucks

Have teamspeak server play with friends invite others in. Everyone is super chill even meet some fandoms who find server. End up making lots of friends, one of them turns gay and now loves being bullied by me on teamspeak.

Such is life.

>guy's mic icon comes on
>sounds like he was sucking a fat cock

stop that

>Tfw haven't talked to a real person in years now

>getting an autism attack because of talking to someone that can't even see you and is most likely living on the other side of the world

So you talk to fake people?

sorry was with my bf

>more coupons/discounts
>faster
>don't have to deal with a human not listening to your order
>no time wasted on hold

It's more convenient to order online in every single way