Meanwhile in Sup Forums during the 41st millennium

Meanwhile in Sup Forums during the 41st millennium...

WE WUZ EMPRAH

404

>still worshipping a pathetic corpse emperor whose commissars shoot you in the head just for playing video games

>nut praisn' gork and mork

'UMIEZ GET OFF DA ZOGGIN' ORK BOARD

WAAAAAAGGHHH!!!!

Sup Forums wouldn't exist in 40K

it would be considered a waste of time, when we could be contributing to the glory of the Imperium instead

>implying a Turkroach corpse is Emperor

>Sup Forums wouldn't exist in 40K
Cults of Tzeentch are not all that rare.

You all would be lowest of the lowest serving as cogs in the imperium machine or imperial guardians at best and the only game you would play is who is going to die faster in the name of the emperor.

You're god damn right I'd be fighting to die faster in the name of the Emperor

>not letting God Emperor die so he could be reborn

Hahaha, keep being useful idiots for us you Fungus brain mong

I kind of doubt Tzeentch is spending his time debugging an image board throughout the warp

unless of course the image board has a greater purpose in one of his plans
>one guy gets trolled so hard that he decides to suicide bomb the imperium
>"good....goooood...."

As opposed to becoming a corpse slave for not having enough tentacle pubes?

I used to play rugby and am decently strong and stocky
I think I would have had a shot as being picked to be a space marine

Excuse me fellow imperial citizens do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior of Hope? Through his knowledge we can seek change for the Imperium for the better. Why don't you take one of our "books"?

Nurgle>Tzeentch>Khorne>Slaanesh
You can't dispute this

Hey guys, I was reading a history book about the Great Crusade, and it talks a lot about the Emperor's "Imperial Truth", and he says there are no gods and he's not a god
but my local ecclesiarch says he his and top deny it is heresy

how can the Empeor be a heretic and a god? this is confusing

>vidigo gays
Sounds heretical.

Report to your Comissar.

GUYS THEY FOUND A GENESTEALER CULT IN ONE OF THE BUILDINGS DOWNTOWN. AM I FUCKED??? EMPEROOGLE SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT A SPACE LOCUST BUT I DON'T KNOW THE TECHNO TERMS THEY USE.

Slaanesh>Khorne>Nurgle>Tzeentch

Slaanesh is about living to live. I would rather worship a dirge blasting, amplified futanari bdsm super warrior than anyother god.

Khorne is a smart choice based on the stupid amount of power he can give you if you just keep killing.

Nurgle is a friendly enough chaos god but I am not too fond of smelling lile the avarage Sup Forums user.

Tzee is a manipulative cunt and will most likely screw you over.

bruh, I hope you live on a forgeworld, otherwise expect exterminatus within the week

Really citizen?
Just tell me the name of your planet and the nasty monsters will soon go away... ALRIGHT FIRE

>third post and heresy is already creeping in
Where is the commissar when you need him?

Burn, exposed wretch.

beep boop I am a computer

>Meanwhile in Sup Forums during the 41st millennium...

Die you degenerate Halofag

Not if you are on non Space Marine's Chapter planet.

Reminder that heresy will not be tolerated on any Imperial ships. This also a reminder that video games are considered heresy and a tool of slaanesh.

>he prefers dakka souls 3
Lmao at your mon-keigh life.

Yes that's right. I'm an ELDAR gamer, who plays GAMES. Don't frak on me, you silly apes.

>not picking the guardsman

source?

How's it feel being part of an endangered species?

where's my tzeentch option?

Pandorum

this is too fucking meta

Ears or gtfo

>posting on this website in the first place
WHY WASTE TIME ON THIS WEBSITE KNOWN TO NEGATIVELY INFLUENCE US WITH DEGENERACY YOU HERETIC? YOU'D RATHER CONFORM WITH XENOS THEN SERVE MANKIND?

+Always has a nice plan
+(?)Invites you along to his plan
-His plans are always fucking complicated
-They always fail because actually he has another plan
-That plan also fails
-There's always another plan
-He won't stop fucking scheming

Oh its there. If you can't see it, you don't get it.

They need to be fucking exterminated

- Keeps rambling on about his eventual master plan
- You never ever get to the master plan
- "Bro it will totally work this time, I promise"

...

>Being a biological
>In the year 2010+3790

what did they mean by this

*37090

It's too late for that, friend. The Astartes only take children, on the basis that their bodies - still growing as they are - tend to be more accepting of the gene-seed albeit only just. They're still more than likely going to die in the process, but such is life.

Remember, too, that you're competing with upward to 10 quadrillion other humans for that honor. It's less a matter of conditioning than luck if being kidnapped by a bunch of roid heads and taken to their fortress monastery to be indoctrinated into their cult and having your body broken six ways from Sunday -
most likely horribly in the process - to be "lucky."

>Being white in 2017

get with the times cuck

Fuck these savages from Feral Worlds stealing our jobs and our women. I keep fighting with xenoniggers in some fucking shithole and what I get in exchange? Some barbarian fucking my wife?

Anyone tried out the new Servitor Chess game?

In the entertainment quarter, there are new servitors who you can play Imperial chess with. Kinda like playing against a fellow human opponent, except that the opponent is actually a servitor.

By the Emperor, truly a technologial wonder of the 41st millennium. I just spent 2 months of wages in the entertainment quarter yesterday. So much fun.

I really don't understand why there is a fandom surrounding this. People take the lore so autistically seriously when it is basically just satire and an amalgamation of various other sci-fi works with no regard if it works within the same universe or not.
And also that people talk about different civilizations, cults, and so on forth, when no matter where you would live in this universe you would die before you even reach puberty.

I don't understand bronies yet they exist

Nothing complex, I just like the ponies, user.

>Meanwhile in Sup Forums during the 41st millennium...
>Eternal Crusade still on beta

I just bought a copy of the eldar scrolls XVII and regret my purchase

>I just bought a copy of the eldar scrolls XVII and regret my purchase
>meanwhile new Dawn of Warcraft breaks 1billion sales record

Wait this isn't the waro overtaking me

>Still no Imperial Guard MMO / large scale ARMA style FPS

Get the fucking message GW.

it's not in beta, it's out
it's just not very good and doesn't have much content

Think it'd be hard to capture the whole no life expectancy thing, without it being really frustrating.

...

>tfw no commissar game where you lead a blob of brave AI guardsmen to glorious death (while surviving by yourself)

In all seriousness, anyonr else want 40k game that plays similar to Republic Commando?

>Hardest difficulty is Krieg.

the girls is obvious the tyranid player, but what is she rolling for?

They could make it so when you die you transfer to another grunt. Should hammer home the futility of their life.

>no life expectancy
It would be like planetside 2 or maybe Red Orchestra

Reminder: The only reason the imperium still exists is because the orks believe they do

>Your mission is to stop them running to their deaths instead so they can continue to be useful in their next battle

The imperium consists of a fuckton of planets, there could be plenty of worlds with some sort of equivalent to the internet and imageboards. Not every world follows the imperial doctrine to the letter.

Actually many planets of the imperium aren't that different from our current civilisation standards, just with Emperor worship atop of it.

>Slaneesh's face when you corrupt a imperial by telling him he can do whatever depraved shit he wants as long as he worships him/her/it and all his does is shitpost all day and fap to anime

>hey guys I hate halo I'm such an oldfag am I cool yet?
Why don't you just fucking neck yourself already?

Or perhaps he's wondering why a commissar shoot would a guardsman, before beheading him?

me in the leman russ

This can't be happening! I'm in charge here!

I want to fuck a Sister of Battle

>Tzeentch's attention is grabbed by a mortal man who desires forbidden knowledge.
>He is gifted the power to know the fates of all that he gazes upon.
>Spends every moment of every day spoiling every anime he sees anyone talking about online.

>No one will ever love you as much as she loves The Emperor.

>Implying I won't get her into some slaneeshi shit

...

>Someone forgot to set the Necrons clocks.
The necrons recieve vital information about an impending enemy attack. Check the date.
30'000+ years from now.
Forgets about it and powers down.

Do they take kids from Catachan?

Who chadmarines here?

Boy I can't wait for Kingdom Hearts 3.78 Penultimate Remix Compendium. They say only this and KH 3.97 still need completion before 4 cna be released!

Sure
>necrons are the SUPERS
>trandos are the kroot
>geonosians are the vespids

Something about the Tau inspires some sort of burning anger and hatred within me. A knee-jerk response that the cattle must be slaughtered, and the offense of its existence ceased.

I'm just gonna question your wording. We need cattle , people raise them and I'd say less than 5% of those people do it for the sadistic glee of later slaughtering the cattle.

...

They're a commie expy with hints of weeb, so it's only natural.

Make it happen.

Imagine space vietnam planet where Catachans fights against commie tau and their kroot jungle buddies

ALL IT WOULD FUCKING TAKE TO WIPE OUT YOUR PATHETIC "EMPIRE" IS ONE OF THAT GOD'S CHILDREN ON A FUCKING MOTORCYCLE YOU FUCKING SPACE COW