Tutorial says "Press C to Crouch"

>tutorial says "Press C to Crouch"
>rebind crouch to ctrl
HONKA HONKA

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I want to lay this Jared Leto doll flat on it's back and hotglue his mouth, and just leave a little pool of my cum sitting in his open maw, as if he were begging for more.

Whoa! Looking cool, Joker!

>game tells me to use the triangle button
>I'm playing on PC with a 360 controller
YOU CAN'T STOP ME

>rebind the controls so i have to move my hands for every button press
LOCK ME UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY

I hate ctrl for crouch though, makes my pinky finger feel like a contortionist

How small are your hands, my dude?

>"Press any key to continue"
>Press enter instead

I DID IT AGAIIIIIIIIIIIIIN

>first time playing the game
>skip the tutorial

MOM'S GONNA FREAK

>Game marketed as a multiplayer game
>Play the single player campaign
I'M A FREAK OF NATURE

>accept a side quest
>make no effort to complete it
I'M A FUCKING WALKING PARADOX

Iiiiiii'm not someone who is...LOUV'd
-CLAP-
I'min iDEAUH
A state of miiiiind

>game tells me to put on clothes to protect me from extreme heat
>put on cold prevention clothes
THEY'RE GONNA LAUGH AT ME, AND IT'LL BE THEIR LAST!

>adjust the brightness until you barely see the icon
>turn it all the way down until I cant see it

This is Katana. She's got my back. I would advise not getting killed by her. Her sword traps the souls of its victims.

>"adjust slider until..."
>adjust monitor settings instead

>not binding it to alt for superior crouching ability

pleb

The madman

...

I never thought of that, it's so much more comfortable, thanks user

Woah, slow down with the exposition man. Some of us can't follow such complex characters.

ctrl : crouch
shift : walk
caps lock : run
tab : jump
the natural way of doing it

What do you use space bar for then?

>tab : jump
You sicken me

DC demands a little more from its viewers, sweetie ;^)

>caps lock to run
>every time I run the caps lock light of my keyboard turns on

...

You're right.
I'm gonna stick to marvel, at least they're progressive and publish comics that challenge societal norms like the male gaze ;^)

>alt: sprint
>spacebar: jump
there. fixed it for you

>Tutorial still says "Press C to Crouch"
Somebody stop me!

>game tell me to take a break every hour
>take a break every 30 mlinutes instead

NOBODY CAN STOP ME

>not binding crouch to LEFT ALT

You are a seriously damaged individual

>crouch jumping with that setup
shiggydiggy

>pause the game every time i use caps lock to turn off the light

>someone says "glhf"
>reply "fuck off"
OH SHIT IM FEELING IT

But how do you Alt-Tab, my dude?

>finish a match
>type in gg and leave
>really thought it was bg

>press any key to continue
>don't press anything
SOMEBODY STOP ME

Why does that guy look like me?

>game gives me option to shoot green barrel
>green barrel releases green sleepy gas
>shoot red barrel instead
>releases red explosion
D A M A G E D

>win game after a long hard struggle
>"gg ez"

>accidentally leave caps lock on
>type in all caps in chat

>press SHIFT to run

>spend thousands of dollars on video games
>make no effort to play any of them

CANT HANDLE THE HEAT

>PS4 """exclusive"""

Name one, faggot.

>game tells me i need 70 stars to face bowser
>backwards long jump past the endless stairs

BREAKIN THE SPEED LIMIT

One.

Dumb as you look.

>Set sprint to toggle
GONNA BREAK THIS RUSTY CAGE

One, faggot.

everything
rime

>toggle sprint
>can't toggle off
>have to completely let go of movement keys to stop sprinting

>1 out of 30 rounds left in a magazine
>know a fight is coming up
>won't reload my weapon
NO BREAKS ON THE CRAZY TRAIN

>reloading discards the entire clip and ammo
>Fire a single shot
>reload

>given the gift of life
>Waste it on shitty games for children and french faggotry fourums
DAMAGED GOODS

>The way he trails off at "Souls of its victims"

This movie is gold.

>reach end of a long rpg
>npc tells me to hurry before the final boss finalizes his plan to destroy the world
>pause the game and go eat lunch anyway

>combo requires you to press Ctrl, Alt or Shift several times
>turn on stickykeys

b-but enter IS a key

>use sticky keys as a key in the combo

yes but the devs want me to press just ANY key but i'm pressing enter which is normally the prompt to continue
hehe

>game lets you create a party and offers a wide variety of unique and interesting races
>make an all-human party
DAMAGED

>fov 65
>mouse acceleration enabled
LOOSING MY SIGHT! LOOSING MY MIND!

Jesus Christ, man. That's hardcore.

>mouse acceleration setting is different from the windows one

>high dpi mouse
>cursor is fine in desktop
>goes fucking ballistic in game
>98% of sensitivity slider is useless

>the russian disk-jockey Bazuka takes porn videos and remixes music and the video themselves to create her music clips
>there's one where that character and Harley have happy les sex
>could never find the original source
I'm sad. In fact all of her videos but one are impossible to source.

>play modern fps
>set mouse controls to numpad and go keyboard only

WISH SOMEBODY WOULD TELL ME I'M FINE

>WASD game
>set buttons to arrowkeys
i actually used to do this

You use the mouse on your left hand or something?

>play retro fps
>strafe on , .
>forward on rmouse

>WASD game
>set buttons to ESDF
WOULD IT BE WRONG? WOULD IT BE RIGHT?

>play retro fps
>mouse only controls so that i have to keep pushing and lifting the mouse

AINT NO REST FOR THE WICKED

>dat rack

impressive

>press any button to continue
>press the power button
SOMEONE STOP ME

no I was just autistic

Epic

>x toggles sprinting
Ктo-тo oднaжды cкaзaл мнe

>Thinking anything wrong with the god tier movement setup

>press any key to continue
>presses a button instead
tard

>Open first person shooter game
>Sound options
>Turn off voices, music, and any optional background noise
>Crank my speakers to absolute maximum volume
>Only use the loudest possible handgun in the game
>Sounds like a gang shootout is taking place in my home

I'LL FILL THIS WHOLE BLOCK WITH HOT BRASS

gross as fuck

>"PRESS ANY KEY TO START"
>"REBIND ANY KEY TO CTRL"
FUCK THE SYSTEM

It's from the Alex Braun SS parody, that's Kleio Valentine and Asa Akira I think

It actually is. You're a god.

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and

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Thanks anyway.

>play battlefield 3 with home cinema preset and volume all the way up