>Favorite Game
>deepest darkest secrets
I'll start
>Rising Storm 2
I'm diagnosed with autism and I've been to the hospital 2 times because of my autism when I was really young during school. My mom says that I wasn't being handled properly but I think it's because I was mentally unstable which hurts every time I think about it.
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>Favorite game
hard to say. Maybe STALKER COP? But honestly never really had a favorite.
>Darkest secret
I am terrified that I am autistic, and a lot of signs point to the fact that I am, though I've never had an official diagnosis. I see autism as being a broken person who literally cannot be fixed, and I don't believe I should be alive. I'm currently at university doing my masters of secondary teaching, and I am completely and utterly fucking lost. I picked the wrong choice of career, everything is a fucking mess, and I have literally learned fucking NOTHING since I started here. I have an entire year, and I believe that this is the semester where everything will fall apart, I'll fail my subjects, and people all realize that I'm a useless piece of shit, who despite having several qualifications and finishing way more than the average amount of courses for someone my age, hasn't actually remembered any of what I've been taught, have no skills, or talents, and has no hope to be good at anything in life. I consider suicide every single day, but I know I'm most likely not going to go through it because of fear and because I love my dad.
my class had presentations today where we had to do certain activities that each person came up with and I literally fucked up on every single one of them. We had to make a paper airplane, and I couldn't do it. We had to change the nappy on a baby doll, and I couldn't do it. We had to identify certain objects from a pile, and I couldn't do it. Literally every single other person in the class could do it in SECONDS and I fucking struggled and ultimately failed where everyone else succeeded. This was supposed to be an EASY task, and I'm so fucking bad at everything that I couldn't even do that.
How the fuck can that be your favourite game?
don't bully user he's autistic
Demon's Souls
I haven't had any strong urges in a while but I greatly wish to cleanse the world of evil people through any means necessary, although this is certainly a pipe dream.
It's OK user. I can't make paper airplanes either.
>deepest darkest secrets
fuck off
You deserve it
The Last of Us/Half-Life 2/Ocarina of Time
I write shipping fanfiction
I don't drink or smoke because my dad became an addict right around the time I was born
I have a three inch erection and I’m circumcised. My parents weren't jewish
I didn’t masturbate until I was 18 and can’t get off to naked women or porn as I find something deeply uncomfortable about both. I last for about thirty seconds to a minute on average.
When I was younger, my dad used to shave me, cut my nails, trim my pubes, pop pimples on my face and back, would smell my penis to make sure it smelled nice, would do the same for my armpits, and would sometimes shower with me. This went on until I was around 16 and he would also beat me if I ever denied him.
Every weekend for the past four years, I’ve gone to the movies or taken a nap in my car and told my mom I was out with friends. I’ve also told her I’m dating a Korean girl who was in one of my uni classes.
When I was younger, girls at school used to hug me and random and would also tell me they loved me. Eventually I found out they would dare each other to hug guys they found especially creepy/ugly and I was a prime target. One of them also started a rumour I was stalking her because we lived on adjacent streets, after which most of my friends stopped associating with me.
My mom desperately wants grandkids but I'm pathologically terrified of women and fat/below average girls treat me like shit.
When I was a teenager, I used to do weird/disgusting shit to make my friends laugh. More than once I dropped my pants and danced around because I had a small dick and it made them laugh to see me humiliate myself. I would do anything to make someone like me.
I like the band Echosmith.
The only time I use reddit is going on r/pillowtalkaudio to download audios where girls pretend to be your girlfriend and pretend to talk to you to help me fall asleep.
Day of the Debacle Tentacle
I'll talk behind your back. I used to shoplift. I repeated kinder and I still don't know how to pro Riley properly tie my shoes I walk with them untied usually and just tuck the shoelaces into the shoes
jesus christ user
im so sorry
>Rainbow Six Siege.
>[Spoiler]I believe I somehow grew out of my Aspergers for the most part, if not completely.[/spoiler]
Bayonetta
I have no idea the size, relative or otherwise of my dick. I've always been too scared of what it will read. I don't know why, it's not like anyone else will ever see it anyways
Lurk more, newfriend
Nothing I could post could compare to this. I'm really sorry for everything user.
Trails in the Sky the 3rd
I honestly genuinely wish I could kill my severely autistic brother. If there were nothing stopping me, I think I would. It gives me a headache even being in the same house as him. He's loud, acts like a child, he's selfish, he's stupid, he's fat, he's smelly, everything about him makes my life more miserable to live when I'm at home. It's not even that fair, I'm half convinced at this point that I'm autistic, even if not nearly to the degree he is. I hate everything about him though. The only things holding me back are inhibitions. It's ingrained into my mind that the jailtime wouldn't ever be worth it, and I do care about my parents and I couldn't stand to see my mom's heart broken at losing a son when I've seen her completely devastated at losing her parents.
Fucking spoiler bullshit.
Hi there newfags. You responded to very stale Reddit copypasta
If it makes you feel better it would honestly be a mercy to him.
Yes, do it.
We need less people like him in the world.
Huh. Been here for years, never seen it. I think this is a sign that I don't spend as much time here as I used to. Thank goodness for that, I guess.
If this is a copypasta fuck you
If this isn't, I'm sorry this happened to you, but despite your past, you have a future. If you can, seek out a counselor that will listen to you. They are expensive, but in your particular situation, will help you make sense of your reality and the world you live in. I sincerely hope you find happiness, and I know for a fact that you can. Please try your best
oh wow a not vidya thread with a shitty disguise. sage
Silent Hill 2
I want to have sex with Bowser
MediEvil
I used to post underage pics of myself crossdressing in lacy underwear and thigh highs.
There's a few russian websites I found not too long ago by reverse image searching those pics.
They were taken down not too long ago.
>Game
Pokemon Gold and Silver
>Secret
When I was 12 years old I jizzed in the pool on vacation at my parents' timeshare in Aruba. Deep end. Saw the semen float to the top. Somehow I never got caught and we vacationed there again a few years later
OP here, I don't my autism bother me since I'm actually pretty doing fine. The only thing that gets to me is when I think back of the stuff that I did when I was young.
Aspergers is a fake "disease" anyways
>When I was younger, my dad used to shave me, cut my nails, trim my pubes, pop pimples on my face and back, would smell my penis to make sure it smelled nice, would do the same for my armpits, and would sometimes shower with me. This went on until I was around 16 and he would also beat me if I ever denied him.
>Every weekend for the past four years, I’ve gone to the movies or taken a nap in my car and told my mom I was out with friends. I’ve also told her I’m dating a Korean girl who was in one of my uni classes.
>When I was younger, girls at school used to hug me and random and would also tell me they loved me. Eventually I found out they would dare each other to hug guys they found especially creepy/ugly and I was a prime target. One of them also started a rumour I was stalking her because we lived on adjacent streets, after which most of my friends stopped associating with me.
Good fucking lord user.
If this is legit, get some help. This isn't some kill urself thing, get your ass a therapist or someone ASAP.
ctrl + s will help you.
Waiter, this pasta is stale
I'm fairly certain that "aspergers" is known to just be high functioning autism now.
jesus christ. If you're not bullshitting/copypasta then you must have a will of iron to keep living. Kinda makes me reconsider how trivial my problems are. Best wishes to you user
Yes, it is now lumped into "Autism Spectrum Disorder", or ASD.
Super Smash Bros Melee
Biggest secret would be that I'm gay. Wow I'm actually pretty boring when I think about it
It's pasta you retards
Etrian Odyssey II.
My family has a history of cerebral angiomas, which can cause seizures and even strokes if they start bleeding heavily. They found a small one on my brain via MRI when I was 14, which was of no concern. Ten years later, I visit the doctor for severe anxiety issues, and they recommend another MRI. Now I have five of them, and the first one is now much bigger and is located right on my motor line. If it bleeds, it could cause me to have a really bad stroke, but if I get it removed, I could also lose feeling in one side of my body.
In the near future, I may permanently lose my ability to play video games. They're all I have.
Both of them are different from each other for some fucking reason.
Silent Hill 2
From years of physical and emotional abuse I don't express my feelings properly and I distance my self from loved ones. I have two daughters and idk how to show them I love them. They will grow up thinking I am cold and hate them.
If it makes you feel better, you could play turn based RPGs with one hand.
>NieR
I'm progressively ruining every facet of my life for my best friend, who I am head over heels for and am fairly certain will end up either killing herself or refusing to get treatment for a hereditary illness if I take the time to do any of the things I need to do to fulfill my own ambitions. I had to turn down a job I'd dreamed of holding for years in order to stay with her recently, because she apparently has a life-threatening heart condition and would completely ignore it if I weren't here to force her to get it treated, due to severe PTSD in relation to hospitals. She stopped eating for a long time and I ended up putting myself thousands of dollars in debt to stay with her 24/7 and basically force food down her throat until she somewhat recovered from her disorder. I'm pretty sure she'll get bored of tolerating my pushiness sooner or later and am basically in a race against time to get her to a point where she at least won't die once that happens. I'm honestly not sure if I'll be able to keep going when the time comes.
I hope for the best for you, user. Keep your chin up and maybe everything will turn out just fine.
Nah, brah. Aspergers got lumped into ASD with the DSM5. It's literally the same shit.
No? It's all catalogued under ASD now.
Best of luck man. Even though it's shit, all you can do is make the decision that keeps you alive and figure out a way to make that satisfying. There are a lot of people out there who manage to play video games, along with a million other things, with one hand. You can always find a way to make things work, even if you have to get creative with control schemes or learn to love a new genre.
I hope something good happens user. Maybe there's some incoming treatment that can save your function. Things are gonna be okay.
When did they say this? My mom told me I had high-functioning autism, but never ass burgers.
pikmin 2
my ppd is progressively getting worse and i cant tell anyone
The fucking DSM V.
High-functioning autism isn't a diagnosis but more so a state of autism. If you're high-functioning then you have self-awareness and the autism isn't a huge negative factor upon your life. Compare that with low-functioning autism which is normally where you lose your sapience and cannot communicate or lead a normal life.
>favorite game
Um Jammer Lammy
>secret
Senior year of highschool, I decided to challenge myself by taking a bunch of AP classes and no "throwaways" or easy A's. Unfortunately, that year my entry level grocery store job started scheduling me nearly 40 hours a week usually during the school week on top of a 30 min commute. I developed depression from the isolation and exhaustion. I quit before starting college but I still feel depressed. I'm a year deep into college and I still don't have anyone that I'd consider a friend. I hate the people there, I hate the party culture, and I'm afraid I'm never going to get a girlfriend because my standards are too high and I never put myself out there even though I act confident in real life and am in the 7/10 region with an alright personality. I'm horrified of the future and I'm mostly scared that my neuroticism is now part of my personality and I'll be this stressed forever.
>High-functioning autism isn't a diagnosis but more so a state of autism. If you're high-functioning then you have self-awareness and the autism isn't a huge negative factor upon your life.
What the fuck? I guess being in a special ed program was a fucking waste since it was harder to actually find a decent person.
Somehow your favorite game is absurdly fitting with your secret. Good luck
i don't fucking care, i'm fucking saying it
YOU GOTTA BELIEVE
Killer7
I have high-functioning Aspergers and a plethora of mental illnesses that ruin my motivation to chase any form of hobby i enjoy (I.E: art, programming.
I was stressed with trying to figure out who i was/wanted to be personality-wise in Highschool to the point where I took no special classes that could have lead me to getting a well-paying job, in fear of getting the career only to realise I would be stuck in that job with no option to change my pathway. I'm now terrified of the prospect of having a job due to the possiblity of fucking up and ruining someone's day/wasting their time.
/blog
Metal Gear Rising
I'm a furry and once decided to be a part of the furry community. After a few years of getting burned by multiple creeps in that fandom, I've come to hate myself for having this awful fetish and still wanting to talk to these weirdos. I recently nuked all my furry accounts, and have done what I can to disassociate my old nickname from my new one.
To add onto my shit I'm also semi-homeless and have been since last year and sleep in my uncle's van with his ok on it
if you dont already do something physical, then do that, like a sport or a martial art
Are you seeing a therapist? Because that's usually the best place to start. Depression isn't unbeatable, but it's a fucking bitch to climb out of by yourself.
As for college, having just graduated, you'll find a place. You really just have to take chances with folks. You'll wind up bonding with people you never thought you would. College is a time where you really need to step out of your comfort zone and do things you hadn't considered ever doing before.
Worst case scenario, you can always transfer.
>Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations
>I once threw two drunk chicks out of a hostel onto the curb because they broke a chair over some dude's back. It was heroic and I got applause when I went back inside like in a movie, but nobody knew that I kicked one of the 17 year-old drunk girls in the ribs as hard as I could when I threw them out.
ask them what they're interested in and take an interest in them too. Hug them. Call them often just to ask how their day is when they get older. Remember what's important to them if you need to take notes.
Even if you're awkward kids can be pretty attuned to showing affection for you and getting used to it. Just don't avoid them and listen to them when they try to engage you.
damn, man i'm so fucking sorry.
>fucking bitch to climb out of by yourself.
Honestly this. But getting back on your knees afterwards makes you feel like you're on the top of the world.
You're on the path to healing, user. At least you realized what was happening before it was too late.
I went through pretty much the exact same thing, but with a restaurant job instead of a grocery store. tl;dr everything turned out great. Your best bet is honestly tolerating party culture for a couple weekends, having a few drinks and getting to know either random people or someone with a position in a uni club that you like enough to ask to join. You really only need to get to know one person, then you can mooch off their friends for an entire social circle and find your own after that. As long as you find one person out of that you like, you can make it work from there.
Don't obsess over your standards. There's nothing wrong with waiting until you find someone you genuinely love. Other people jumping into a million shitty relationships that don't work out isn't a reason for you to do the same. Some people just make friends and end up in relationships with them years down the road. Some people exclusively fall for people they meet through work. There's no reason you need to feel pressure to meet anyone in college.
user....
I am trying I have gotten better these last 5 yrs
sounds like she deserved it. probably will make her a better person in the long run
>tfw 27yo KV because it is abysmally difficult for me to connect to people
I don't get female attention. I have never dated. I await death.
Mega Man X.
Between the age of 4-10 I had numerous sexual experiences with my older sister. I don't think she remembers it, but it really shaped my sexuality and I can't really jerk off or even get aroused by anything but incest porn.
DK64, I accept it's flaws which makes it easier to like it as my favorite
>spoilering your secret
My foot and size fetishes are starting to go haywire where I'm transitioning into Twinks and Traps because I'm just not getting as good of a fap as I used to
Megaman Zero 3
I can't form meaningful relationships with people. I avoid greeting others, don't go to parties, basically spend 100% of my free time alone. One part of me likes it and the other is fucking miserable so I literally can't win, and since I can't open up to others that means no therapy.
>Little Big Planet
>I'm a secret schizoid who takes Alan Watts' view of reality wholeheartedly because I had a sudden mystical experience that the universe was one thing when I was 18, and have genetic illness that will kill me in less than 10 years, I'm happy
Find other ways to meet people user. Parties aren't the only way.
Dojo, Casino. It's all in the mind.
If this is real you are 100% allowed to shoot up a venue of your choice
I think me and you have my first point in common, give this a read and see if it rings any bells en.wikipedia.org
I don't want to be le ebin mgtow guy or anything, but I legitimately believe that feminism has destroyed any chance of me meeting a woman I'll love. I feel like there are no normal women left who want to be stay at home moms anymore. They're either super fundie Christians or freeloaders who just don't want to work. I think that culture has driven women past this idea, but I think it's the ideal setup for a family and probably makes the most successful children.
I just want to go to work and come home to my wife and kids.
>Demon's Souls
I've used my moms and stepmoms dildos before
Metroid Prime
I have a hypocritical hatred of violence against women, considering I have a love of rape porn just as deep
If you want to make friends, figure out what you're interested in and what you like doing and make no apologies for it. I was in your situation until I started playing handhelds openly in public and feeling confident while doing so. Now I honk a different girl each weekend.
>le ebin mgtow guy
Someone explain what is wrong with this? Or is it the culture that surrounds this?
Not being able to open up to others normally doesn't mean you'll never be able to or that there aren't ways. You just did it, even if it's just Sup Forums.
Therapy's an option, even if it doesn't feel like one. So long as you can get yourself in the room, they're good at getting something out of you eventually. You might even want to try opening a Word document, shutting off your brain, and just typing everything you feel about yourself, then sending that with an explanation. That way you can't get discouraged and back out once you get there.
Morrowind
I suffer from an illness similar to schizophrenia. As my psychotic symptoms started to manifest in my early 20s and I started to do poorly in school, in extreme moments I could enter a state of mind I can only describe as being that of a borderline serial killer, a state of almost zero reason save for just a little. I would lapse into this state of mind while driving and try to goad people into car crashes or driving off the road, never did actually cause anything to happen though. What I really regret is that I worked at a vet clinic and I would sometimes lose control and take out aggression on the animals. It was a shitty thing to do, but because of the state of mind I have trouble feeling an actual feeling of regret or guilt, I do regret it, but it doesn't feel sincere.
I'm a lot better these days thankfully with a good medication treatment and support group, but I still do worry about falling into the pitfalls of my illness again and lapsing into that psychotic state, except this time losing reason completely
I did it too, user.
My mom talked to me about it after when she found out.
Yoshi's Island
I really want a cute, pretty, light-skinned girlfriend. I'm Mexican but I'm white skinned. That's useless though, as the type of women I like don't like me and they like brown, ugly and arrogant men.
It's a cringy "fuck women" ideology, but nonetheless I unironically think that women are biologically suited to be stay at home mothers and that most women would be happier that way. And I think it raises better children, at that.
Are you aware of what happens?
that must've been humiliating, I'm always super paranoid that they know but haven't said anything
>Demon's Souls
I want to break up with my girlfriend of 4 years but I'm afraid she'll retaliate and cause me to fail my security clearance investigation.
Yeah I am, but it's a very distorted mental state, something akin to psychosis, powerful, but usually short lived.
Use that power for good and rid the world of evil, user.
That does sound similar, but I refuse to self-diagnose in any way. Thanks for the info though.
>You just did it, even if it's just Sup Forums.
We both know it doesn't count. And even if a therapist could manage to help me, I refuse to go out of pride.
Was it good? I went through my sister's panty drawer and found not one but fucking two dildos. One was purple and had one of those dolphin vibrators and the other was a small, straight, silver coloured one. I genuinely considered using the smaller one, but chickened out.
Doom
I get incredibly jealous of anyone who's better than me at anything, especially vidya. I write it off as autistic but I know it takes lots of skill and dedication. As a result I never try to get too into anything. This is why I'll never play fighting games or develop any real hobbies.
>I legitimately believe feminism has destroyed any chances of me finding a woman to love
Admitting that you'd never get married without outdated social customs of arranged marriage is indeed pretty embarrassing user
She's really the exact opposite of a feminist. Owns multiple businesses, hates employing women for the most part, and I literally had to teach her to recognize what sexual harassment was. The "work/helping people succeed" mindset is what makes it so hard to make her take care of herself.
As far as stay at home moms, they're definitely still out there. If a woman doesn't want a career, and honestly most people these days aren't career-driven in general, the easiest fallback is just taking care of a kid at home. Most women I know are that way, The only barrier is that you realistically need to be earning $80k+ to give your child the life it deserves if you're an American in a decent area and only have one family member earning anything.
>Was it good?
well I did it more than once so yeah, used my stepmoms almost every time she and my dad went out of town. but recently bought my own so I don't have to resort to that anymore
if you use hers I'd recommend at least putting a condom over them
>Final Fantasy IX & NieR
When my mom went to sleep away from my step-father during his general bursts of alchoholic anger, it started becoming more and more consistent and removing from my masturbation time. Eventually I realized there was no difference in masturbating under the covers even as she slept in the same bed as me to get away from him and me just doing it,
eventually I grew an oedipus complex from this including the hatred of him to boot. I also had masturbated under the covers even during normal events with surronding strangers when my developing social anxiety was getting to me. Eventually it grew to me pretending to scrap my hand against my mom's leg or feet when she slept in the bed for memories during masturbation.
I surprise myself.
Sup Forums definitely counts. Anonymous or not, it can be awkward as shit to say half the things in this thread.
STALKER SOC, with a mod or two
I engineered my best friends relationships to make another girl who genuinely loves him miserable because she led me on. Her family is moving to mexico soon because her dad has too many debts and I don't regret a thing, considering my friend is happy with his new qt gf
Metal Gear Solid 3
I have been diagnosed with clinical depression since 2010 but never followed up on it nor taken care of it. I think I'm fine, but I've been told multiple times that I should still do something about it. I haven't felt the urge to kill myself since I consider that cowardly, but I've been uncomfortable all the time.