Clockwork

clockwork

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Almost

How are you holding up Sup Forums?

Not so good

Classes resume in 28 hours.
Terror grows.

Ive been drinking more and avoiding social interaction even more than before. But getting rid of people lowers the chances of being hurt by them. So, ive been indifferent

1 month until my 2 year anniversary as a neet
never going back to school because fuck that but since I still haven't got my shit together otherwise guess I'll just waste away until my parents can't provide for me anymore then I'll kill myself

Got offered a full time position at work and they told me a week later I didn't have the required years of experience for it AFTER they offered it to me.
Hopefully they'll be changing their decision soon, but otherwise I haven't done much socially these days.

Get a part time night shift job and ease yourself back into humanity

I have never worked a day in my life and can't handle responsibility
the few times I've had to wake up for things it's brought back terrible memories of highschool and given me near nervous breakdowns

Drinking but my liver hurts.

I just woke up because everytime I want to sleep I have to see the same fucking scene that's the worst nightmare in my life and the only thing that has destroyed me mentally for the last year, and I can't fucking cope with it, I can't see it all the way through without having to stop, i would literally go outside and start getting drunk until I blackout because I can't deal with this.

I'm seriously considering whatever out I can find, even if it means death, I just can't keep this up. my mind is fucking working against me

youtube.com/watch?v=gkLvpt9Z3fA

Playing this in Rock Band 4 is so hype

>never get to see 4am threads due to wageslave lifestyle
>on vacation for the first day, this pops up
like pottery

Heres your fucking pudding angelica

I'm going to study even if it kills me.
I've been a NEET for 7 years now, it's hell.
Stay in school kids.

Who /breakingoutofheretonight/?

I'm doing pretty good even when without a social life.

I went airsofting yesterday at a friend's bday party.

I'd be better if I could find some decent charting software that actually connects to the ASX and offers a simulation account, even as a trial

I was late registering for a class and had to settle for a professor with a 1.7 average rating on ratemyprofessor. Only been 1 week and it's clear he looks for every reason to deduct points on anything. I hate college sometimes.

unironically getting a lot better

I'm tired and I can't sleep and now I only have 1 hour to rest.

Today I become a zombie.

I'm coming up on two years myself. Previously I had a good job in my field making over $20 an hour but I basically had a mental breakdown and moved back home. City life was just too stressful for me I guess there's hardly anything job wise where I live currently though but I'm holding out on something.

I have a degree does that still make me a neet since I have an education? I'm assuming yes.

You're probably not going to be able to get better on your own.

Yes.
Currently being in the process of education is one of the Es, not being a degreeholder, you retard.

How the fuck are we even still alive? are we all just pussies who can't end it? Or do any of you honestly is reluctant to give up?

I still enjoy playing vidya and doing stuff, senpai.

Bit of column A, bit of column B.

I wish I could have activities all day to keep my brain busy and resist thinking about it, but I can't

that much is obvious to me at this point
there's nothing I'm able or willing to do though, I don't even have the motivation to get out of my bed most days

Trapped. I feel like I'm suffocating in this fucking room I live in. I simply leave to eat and take care of bodily functions. I don't shower, I just use deodorant and make sure to stay inactive so I don't stink. Most days I just sit here and browse Sup Forums and /vg/. Sometimes I boot up a game to escape to for a few, but end up quitting after fucking around a bit. It's 3am I should be asleep but I can't fucking sleep. I just want the balls to pull the trigger or to get out of this self made Hell.

who can beat my high score?

5 year neet waiting for boot camp

hey you're doing better than me at least, I don't even leave for the first two
I should tell you that you'll stink even if you're inactive, I speak from personal experience

That's literally me except the last part

I'm too obsessed with losing my family and friends along with my possessions

Boot camp after 5 years of NEEThood?

Out of all the people I don't want to be. You're close to the top.

>Only 23
fucking casual, 26 is my highest.
I haven't spoken to anyone besides my mom in 2 weeks someone please fucking kill me

Don't forget to post when they kick you out.

>wahhhhhh sitting around playing video games is so fucking hard bros!!!! how do we manage it????

Got some fentanyl in the mail today so I feel good finally

>dude mental issues aren't real lmao
return from whence you came, normalfag

I don't like my situation or what I am right now, but I do enjoy being alive

sitting around playing videogames is the only way to distract ourselves from everything else you dumb fuck

Working a boring office job at minimum wage and just play HS at work.

memes aside I vape 3mg of nicotine daily and it helps stave off a good bit of bad feelings and helps stimulate and relax me.

The feeling is like when you take that first sip of coffee in the morning (the endorphin release etc), have been vaping for about a year now and no ill health effects.

Plus nicotine is a proven nootropic (smart drug, no it doesnt make you automatically smart obv but it does stimulate the brain quite a bit) Einstein himself smoked daily along with Freud also.

...

>it's another "drink until the existential dread goes away" episode

Step it up and do some more fun drugs user. You won't regret it. At least not for the first 6 months to a year before you start having withdrawals and shit. But would you rather feel like shit those 6 months as well?

What the FUCK user

you new or something?

Chronic shoulder pain, hand numbness, pretend to work at the office, post on Sup Forums instead.
All is as usual.

Did weed once or twice, not my cup of tea sadly.
Wasn't huge on the body high and didn't like the feeling of being even remotely out of touch with my body.
I can definitely see why people love to smoke it though.

>tfw just socially comfortable enough that im not afraid to go out and buy alcohol or refill my amphetamine prescriptions but just socially awkward enough that i dont have any friends or social life

do ritalin/adderall

> Have to find a company to do my internships in
> They all have a long list of required knowledge in multiple programming languages and meme web frameworks like laravel
> For a fucking entry level "work for free goyim dog" internship
> I feel like I didn't learn shit in three years
> Teachers hardly knew anything and didn't give a fuck
> No confidence in my skills
I picked a shitty uni and didn't try to learn anything on my own and instead spent the last three years of my life fucking around playing videogames and shitposting on my spare time.
I don't even know what to do now. I'm considering suicide.

Are you me?

funny since I tried those too along with amphet salts, hahah, both made me a bit jittery (focus was stone solid but I'd end up moving my foot/feet the entire time)

Nicotine seems to be the only drug I can do that doesn't give me any adverse effects

>tfw just broke off friendship with girl who would spike my depression up and vaped and had tattoos
I feel like I dodged a bullet here

Want to meat up and fight to the death?

Not him but we're all a big (You)
I am you and you are him

Well I graduated but I honestly don't want to work. I hate the idea of paying taxes.

That's pretty much it, honestly. I just hate taxes.

Just make a shit app and take in minimum job money.

When I smoke weed I get paranoid rather than relaxed for some reason. I hate it.

what's a good horror game to get comfy and watch someone play? been watching cry play clock tower 3 and haunting ground, pretty cozy.

I really enjoyed Until Dawn by Scary Game Squad
Game is pretty fun and basically a movie. I got ultra comfy and finished it in one sitting.

Anyone tried antidepressants? Seriously considering them

Where do I go to check mg mental health? I geniuanlly have no idea what I should do or go to next
Ever since I finished highschool at 20 years old I feel like a complete failure and leach to my parents
Ive tried applying to jobs but I either dont get any responce or flat nos, I dont know what to do

>tfw getting flashbacks to my old home from 20 years ago when high
Shit's horrifying yet amazing man

Until Dawn is surprisingly fun, I just wish the QTE's weren't so annoying.

It doesn't get better once you graduate. I'm contemplating just eating shit for 2.25 years at a staffing firm if I can't find a job before the student loan collectors come knocking.

Watching the Sopranos made me too afraid to get into ant-depressants along with being hooked on adderall for a long time with my ADHD.

Sounds like opiates would he more for you, they're hands down the best high out there and as long as you stay away from heroin and the more hard painkillers and stick with hydrocodone and oxycodone you'll be Good. Ive taken them semi often for a few years now and haven't had any withdrawals.

For some people they work. I have tried a couple. I felt like I was losing a sense of self, I could achieve deep focus on things, but it was trancelike or robotic in a way.

21 days untill class restarts and my free tme goes the way of the dodo.
I keep having reccuring nightmares about being late for classes and not knowing what building classes are in.

Too much of a pussy. I've been trading crypto since April and made over 100k I'm just waiting for my probation to end so I can.smoke weed nonstop again and stare at my massive gains

It's mostly a "throw every type of pill at em until it works".

Just watch out for the side effects. If they give you weight, stop before you feel worse for being fat. A ton slow your brain down so you don't feel as anxious, but that can make you tired too.

You'd have to find one that doesn't affect you with side effects that aren't manageable.

been meaning to get around to that one, thanks user. Nothing better than getting comfy with some spooks at 5 am

fake it til you make it my man
apply everywhere and lie
a lot of places put bullshit requirements up

I felt the same way with adderall and ritalin, shit made me feel like a fucking autist and I have bad social issues now.

how do you make friends when you have 0 connections Sup Forums

how do you smoek it lmao without any friends

Well if you do find some friends try not to make the obvious fuck up of waiting for them to contact you.

If you wanna talk or hangout just ask them

I've never tried antidepressants and I remember telling doctors and theripists that I was happy most of the time. My parents knew that it was a load of shit but I've managed to avoid them.
It feels irrational avoiding them like I do.

put on the noose, they are waiting on the other side

shhhh
dont tell them

you mean being

I'd say all my shrinks and their talk therapy bullshit has been worse for my health than any anti-depressant.

That's what Selphie told me..

That's not too bad.

If you can meticulously follow all instructions and do your best to remember things, all it becomes is just a game where they just want you to pass already despite being mean sometimes and get on with it.

ganbatte user

Highly doubt Sup Forums understands crypto anyway

just b ursef

You have to have money in the first place.

SECONDED

I understand that /biz/ is a wojak image macro non-stoping creating machine
And that you're making GPUs expensive, fuck off

I don't mine retard I said trade. What's poverty like user, I forgot.

What are you doing in Sup Forums, Mr. Philippine President?

>Barely left the house since I finished class this year

That makes it what, 2 to 3 months i've spent cooked up in here. I told myself at the begining of the break that i'd finally join a gym and get my shit together over the break, now it's almost over, fuck.

Fucking delete this
I just want fucking vidya

>ask someone to hang out
>they flake on your four weeks in a row