Bad Game Descriptions

You know the drill anons, I'll start.

>Steal a gun
>Fuck a rabbit
>Steal panties
>Fetch dogs
>Fight a giant bar of Soap

crippled schizophrenic tries to prevent nuclear holocaust over and over and over again

Cave Story

Cave Story

Bingo

Bernie 2016?

>bang some broad
>get some kind of incurable STD
>leave your past behind and discover a new parallel society of STD-riddled people like you
>do jobs for a guy in a suit because he didn't kill you

VtMB

yea

>be american going to some brown, sandy, near-eastern place
>kill tons of both arabs and americans
>shoot a hot white load all over a group of civilians to assert your dominance

Spec Ops: The Line

yep

>be blue
>be new
>have game beaten in a few hours
>have controller support die when restarted
>PC controls suck for my game

Anyone want to take a guess?

overwatch
try harder.

>be village boy, have friend who wields a dodgeball
>go through some temples
>your gf gets crystal AIDS and now you have to kill a unicorn with the blood of a virgin

FFX?

Ah shit, I can think of a couple, but my first instinct is telling me Killer 7. If not, maybe Hotline Miami. I never played much of MGS, but my internet memes are telling me it might be MGSV, too.

>wake up from execution
>end up in a snuff film

Nah

A tip is that this is only a part of the game, not the whole thing

Maybe about halfway or so

>take a quick trip with some friends
>some pricks make a bonfire out of your home while you're gone
>go on the shittiest road trip ever to your parents' place

tales of symphonia, dont know if a kendama is really a dodgeball though...

>you fuck a flesh blob in its wet hole

>Killer 7
you got it my nignog

It is that, yes

I say dodgeball because its fucking huge compared to how big a kendama actually is

Fall through trap door
Keep going down
Find large creature
His eyes pop out and he shoots blood at you
You die

Self wish to be that dude.

Saya no Uta?

>be really rich guy with cancer going to the most dangerous parties in the world

>remove kebab the game

Crusader Kings?

>A trap accidentally works for the illuminati.

>angry cult magic man makes some monsters and releases them into the streets
>some guy with a staff and Lara Croft with a sword are the only ones who can save the town

Ayeeee nibba

Playing with a hula hoop drives your girlfriend crazy

>convoluted story
>stealth
>raspy voice
>mechs

>Bang your head
>Forget you're the most important dude around
>Try to kill yourself until you remember who you are
>Disprove an urban legend

Persona?

dude sex

Not... Lost Odyssey, is it?

MGS

>Working as a boss
>Employee tries to fucking murder you
>Sudden amnesia
>Get with the Qt british tsundere Gf

get out of here stalker

Nope.

Here's another hint:
>Alcohol might save your life

>about to commit suicide
>decide to have one last trip to flavortown
>do some drugs with a local wizard
>some fucker is tryna kill some magic apples so you gotta get handsy with the townsfolk
>end up fucking one
>also gotta find some guys boxers

yep

MARKED ONE WHAT THE HEEEEELLLL?

>he's bigger, faster and stronger too
>she can shrink in size to suit her mood
>he has no style, he has no grace
>he's in the mood
>he's one hell of a guy

too easy
HE

now I'm curious

Manhunt
Snekboi 4.

>kill shit with your buddy
>buddy stabs you in the back
>become a knight
>reporter tries to hunt you down

>alright so everybody died but you decided to help some creep because that's your job i guess.
>then you try to save some other people but they all die, so you're officially the worst bodyguard ever.
>also you're a dragon and your mouse is your father or something.

Jee, I sure wonder what it could be?

want another hint user?

Stardew Valley?

Canadian man goes on a quest to find his best friend with the help of a clown with a speech impediment

>planet gets destroyed
>escape
>find alien world
>other aliens shoot down your ship
>explore alien world
>look for a map
>space zombies
>almost commit galactic genocide because a light-bulb told you to
>FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT
>blow up alien world
>you and the comedy relief character survive

Autistic malnouished man and his gay manservant topple the government with the help of some literal children.

nice guess user!

Peace Walker?

>Fat kid you used to bully threatens the world with a super powerful machine
>You go to stop him
>He ends up releasing an ultra powerful monster
>Your rival should have stayed dead

MGS Big Boss?

>Grandpa fucks up his house
>Now we gotta clean it up
>Can't actually fight so we just take random idiots who walk into town to fight for us
>Grandpa's wild years come back to haunt us

Dark Souls? Sounds like Basilisks.

Alright, I'm shit at these, but I want to contribute. This should be easy.
>At a furry gangbang, trying to get with this one buff lion
>Find out he has AIDS
>Find out some of the other attendees also have AIDS and are trying to pass it on intentionally
>Have to decide if I want to just give in and join the AIDS parades or if I want to put these faggots out of their misery

Hotline Miami

Nope. Think smaller and lower budget. That particular enemy I described is universally hated throughout the community.

>Your dad sneezes and ruins his greatest project yet
>He makes you pick everything up instead of doing it himself

>your brother invites you to a party at his sick new crib
>spend an hour killing the guests until he beats your ass and throws you off the roof
>start chasing him around, eventually stop fighting long enough to both fuck up this douche who's disrespecting your dead dad
>immediately go back to fighting, you kick his ass and take his jewelry

Never played it but trap doors and grotesque enemies...Binding of Isaac?

Here's an easy one
>Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president's daughter?

Katamari Damaci

Resident Evil 4?

Do boobs feel like big clumps of souls?

Yup

Yeah said it was easy

No, take the furry part more literally

Almost definitely.

>Come from a family of monster hunters
>'A FUKIN WHITE VAMPIRE!' starts shit
>Storm his shitty castle
>Exterminate all of his friends
>Reach the top floor
>Vampire starts teleporting and shit
>Kill him
>Caste crumbles
>Wait 100 years and repeat

>kill a dragon
>become an hero

medieval 2 total war

Darkest Dungeon.

Too easy

fair enough

Castlevania
You got it

A rocket launcher is the most silent weapon in the game

Castlevania obviously.

Yeah, I think I made it too easy.

team gets hired under false pretenses and the leader gets her mind eaten so you become the new leader to find out what the fuck was going on

Isaac, if you're some kind of casual.

>used to be in prison but the police wants you to do some work for them, so they refer you to a drug addict
>druggy ask you to do some fetch quest, eventually you have to go kill some terrorist
>oh shit, the terrorists literally gave you AIDs
>ask some dude to fix your AIDs, but he's a terrible doctor so he drugs you in order to hide the negative side effects
>then your friendly drug addict dude tells you to go break someone out of prison
>facist guys want to kill you
I don't know the rest. Never played the game through the end the intended way.

I cant' describe the gameplay without giving it away but Harvey and Katrina idolize the characters in it

DMC3?

Here I got one more
>Make a "big" choice tat decides your game
>Side with obviously evil king or side with obviously good country, or choose neither and kill a random dragon instead

>Wife dies
>find son
>turns out son is a dickhead
>kill son

>lose your memory
>fight monsters on snowy planet with mechs
>final boss battle is Zone of the Enders
>lose memory again

fallout 4

>Wear masks
>You won't die if you take them off
>Rob banks
>pic related are BIG GUYS 4 YOU

he does it

FE if

A wall is being built and you have to break it down. When it is tall enough you lose.

Ding ding ding

Fallout 4

Here's one, though its more applicable to a franchise.

>trespassers show up
>defend your property
>more trespassers show up