Polygon Plays Doom 2.0
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this hurts to watch
Polygon can't into games, nothing new
He got stuck on the tutorial. Holy shit.
>a minute in a half of trying to figure out how to air dash
Has he never played a megaman game before?
Why does polygon still exist
Soros money?
fucking really? obviously this faggot is just walking into enemies for the sake of people hate watching/sharing right?
even a child who never played a game ever would wise up to the fact you can't just walk past enemies
>this is the people in charge of videogame critique and journalism
Adult people are no longer able to learn as fast as a child does.
>See thread title
>"Why is it called Doom 2.0?"
>10 seconds into the video
This has to be bait. I can give the Doom video somewhat of a pass because I know some people who are really talented at some types of games who just cannot do first person shooters.
But this is a fucking basic platformer that is telling you what to do.
>30 fps
dropped
>Figure he is some californian college intern that got to play
>Guy is the head of his shitty video game review website
Jesus christ.
I stopped watching after he spent a minute and 30 seconds doing a simple jump in the tutorial. In fear if me losing brain cells I don't want to watch the rest. Should I still watch it though?
Yeah he plays like shit but the game kinda bland.
Ok, really though, the odds are pretty high that this is a kayfabe publicity stunt for "Gamesbeat" (which I've never heard of).
Is this cross-platform?
>Dean Takahashi is lead writer for GamesBeat at VentureBeat. He has been a tech journalist for more than 25 years, and he has covered games for 18 years.
>Couldn't clear the first stage in 25 FUCKING MINUTES
HOW THE FUCK IS THIS POSSIBLE
That is incorrect as fuck. Adults learn much. much faster, they just can't retain information as well.
my 9 y/o cousing are better at this and that's really fucking sad
then this person never played a game in whole fucking life because even endless runners on mobile are based around "avoid colliding with things"
Wasn't the backlash of this video what made several game websites post several articles about how game critics didn't need to know how to play games to do their job?
>What is going through the players mind after uploading this abomination
these comments, holy fuck
>Were you this good with playing Super Mario Brothers the first time, +Ragdollchick 1992? The answer is a most redounding no, but a hypocrite like yourself has too much of an ego to admit as much in your life. You need to go back into the kitchen and get on with your sandwich making for you if you can not learn to quit being such a damn hypocrite to the OP on here. I know that I can probably play better than the OP, but at least I am smart, as well as nice enough, to not be a dick about it in life. I will offer constructive criticism, which is ironic, considering that I am autistic and, as such, have a difficult time about accepting, let alone interpreting, it from other people myself, to people like Mr. Takahashi, but at least I have enough of a fucking brain that it takes people a while to get the hang of video games. Let me also remind you that, in this day and age, side-scrolling shooters are indeed a rare breed of video games and that they are, sadly, on the verge of extinction, so comments like yours will ensure that, in the long run, people that make games like Cuphead will no longer make games like that and, if they are done enough times, then they will also filter into the more polished and realistic games that everyone else knows and it will also contribute to a video game industry crash that will far exceed what happened in 1982-1984, though it will not be the only reason that such a crash will happen. I could go on about the potential crash/market saturation of the video game market as a whole entire topic itself in another discussion, but the fact of the matter is that elitist twat waffles like yourself fail to comprehend two of the key rules of video games, which are to explore the mechanics of the game play and, gasp, TO SIMPLY HAVE FUN PLAYING VIDEO GAMES! This is the point that I am trying to make to all of you ungrateful little spoiled brats and you all would do well to comprehend it in your lives.
That's the point.
...
I smell a new pasta
>a pasta is born.
>3 minutes on tutorial
This Pax Humana guy is going nuclear in the comments, the absolute madman
I'm convinced this is all staged with the hopes of going viral. No one can be this bad for real.
My fucking sides
>I doubt that YOU have ever played this game
>you damn...lying...judgmental...intolerant, and elitist douche.
Jesus Christ
these. Sup Forums is so gullible.
That guy is a fucking master troll
>Being this assblasted
Nuclear doesn't even begin to cover what he is.
Haha you tell 'em Sup Forumsrothers. DSP is just pretending to be retarded too for more attention, epic ruse :)
delicious
No one mentioned your eceleb playfriend, user.
I had to stop watching.
Joke's on you, I was just pretending to be retarded. Why are you so gullible?
Pax Humana, is that you?
...
>6 minutes, 10 seconds mark
>He's already died 6 times
>Every time he dies, he wastes no time pressing the Retry button
WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF
>Ok so you can't grab the ledge, maybe try jump from the block then dash
>Alright you can stop trying to grab the ledge now
>Jump from the block then dash forwa-
>CHRIST JUST JUMP FROM THE GOD DAMN BLOCK IT'S OBVIOUS HOW IS THIS NOT REGISTERING IN YOUR BRAIN
24 Min of someone not able to make it half way across the first level might be the saddest thing i have ever seen.
Like the first time they ever drove manual car and having them review it for Car and Driver.
the art style is cute and all but the gameplay looks way too fuckign easy.
>Dean's Shameful 26 Minutes Of Gameplay
lel
Not to dean
lol
>10 minutes in
>He switches weapons
>Does a lot better
>Still barely makes it only a 4th of the way
Someone tell me if he does it
I can't take this anymore
I've always considered myself to be "mediocre to bad" level at most platformers. But this video and seeing the abysmal time some people had with Sonic Mania and the Crash remakes really makes me wonder if I'm underselling myself a little.
>implying dsp did not started doing that in lots of games after the meme started
in his old bayo videos he deliberately turns around from doors/passages and tries to run on walls so he can start bitching, it became a act
>There are people unironically defending this in the YT comments
>yfw you realize you aren't Dean
>it's all an act
>he's just been pretending to be retarded and shit at videogames perpetually for 10 years!
25 minutes on the first level and he didn't even beat it. I'm not even sure he got half way and he never once air dashed let alone dashed after the tutorial.
inb4 they make the game easier because he couldn't finish the 1st level
Actually, anyone showed that video to the devs?
...
The devs aren't that retarded, they aren't Valve. Besides the game is pretty much finished.
>talks to mac
>talks to mac again
>proceeds to talk to mac 2 more times
Ok to start off you are all judgemental pricks... this person has only just started playing the game and im certain that you re all shit at games as well.... you need to not be so rude to this asian george guy because how would you like it if some basement dwellers got all angry at you for playing a game wrong..... baka you guys are so rude
>watching him try to pass the tutorial
jesus christ
This whole thing smells like BS.
>Gets stuck in the fucking tutorial level
>These people dare to call themselves critiques
>People call them out on this
>"I-I-I WAS JUST PRETENDING TO BE RETARDED"
is that Pax guy the dude playing?
how butthurt can someone be of his own lack of skill?
he really cant defend himself, no one can be THAT bad!
> mfw this is real
They added an entire gun & run game mode because people complained they didn't like boss rush games, delaying the game for years
They also added an easy mode because people said it was too hard
I already see them as retarded
Holy shit that webm
...
The gameplay reminds me a lot of Gunstar Heroes/Alien Soldier. If they took inspiration from those, I can't see them reducing the challenge, those games were hard as fuck.
fucking Mei holy shit
This amount of fucking assblast.
>she fucking winds up to punch her at the end
What happens after?
>Air dashes into a pillar 700 times
>ITS AN INTERESTING SOCIAL EXPERIMENT STOP COMPLAINING
I fucking despise this industry sometimes.
Fucking kek. It's just a regular 2D shooter. Mario is actually harder cuz you can't even shoot, just jump on the enemy's head
>this is your average gamer for tonight
>Are we that intolerant of people who are not "gamers"?
Yes, if you work at site for fucking reviewing games then you better be able to beat a fucking Mario clone otherwise get someone else to do your job.
Fuck Dean.
>how many games come out with a tutorial these days?
is this guy real
>Social experiment
Another way of saying
>I WAZ ONLY ACTING RETARDID CUZ I WANTED TO SEE WUT U DID, AHEHEHEHEHEHE
is Dean a FtM? what is exactly is going on here?
>IT'S JUST A PRANK BRO
>FUCK THE HATERS
why would anyone want to watch this? what in the blue fuck
>the simple jump into dash part 20 seconds in
I CAN'T WATCH
>assmad
people this bad at video games should not be paid to review them, their opinions are meaningless.
Is this the guy who did the DOOM one?
>26 minutes on the first stage
>barely got past like a third of it
>not even a boss fight
>attempting to jump on the enemy
>running into the enemy
It hurts to watch.
Na, it's from another website
Guess you could say that Cuphead is the dark souls of platformers
>Tries to paint what he played as some kind of challenge
Jesus christ.
The absolute state of the gaming industry.
what a faggot. my 'casual gamer' wife is literally better than he is at vidya.
> not answering the question and instead ramblng about acessibility for WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS
as a child I could beat super mario world and contra(took a while though) but this man has no skill at all. how can he even review a game if he fails so bad at the first level?
I know it is my experience, so it is purely empirical, but if you have trouble with first levels like this, you dont deserve to be called a game reviewer.
its like a parody of game reviewers.
and camus' plague is a terrible book because a nigger toddler with adhd and brain cancer who can't read (and who is entirely qualified to review books, i should mention) can't comprehend it on the first time reading, literates are fucking elitist scum
the fact that people will eat his reply up makes me sick to the stomach
he's just not fucking qualified for reviewing video games, period
>jokes on you, i was just pretending to be retarded!
>keep walking backwards and forwards to avoid enemies
>run into them anyway
>enemies respawns from walking back and forth
>gets hit again
The game is definitely trying to sell on its style, which is definitely working for me atleast. The level design could improve alot in later stages, but this fucking guy couldn't show much
This really made me think....
>The level design could improve alot in later stages
IIRC there are only like six sidescrolling stages that they threw in only because people complained about it being bosses only
>Cuphead
>Mario clone
For all of you unwilling to read all this whiny shit, here's a summary for you
>I didn't try to play bad, I just am
>It was a social experiment, you see
Then
>Proceeds to compare the base of difficulty in platformers to Mario (easy)
>Says he expected Mario level, and got thrown off
>Says that he has no real problem with "difficult" games, but the developers should either tell the player that they're hard upfront or should accommodate players that aren't good through either a tutorial or by making games easier
>Condemns people that are actually good at videogames as elitists who think "games should be shut off in their own little corner only played publicly by the masters and the experts"
>Suggests gamers stop looking down on people who aren't good at games, lest we cause a "more fragmented world of haters".
What a fucking baby, I can't believe his feelings are this hurt