Why are gaming "journalists" so bad at games?

Why are gaming "journalists" so bad at games?

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No. I refuse to believe this is real.

I think have cancer now
I hope it's terminal

>jump on A
>dash on Y
Why

OH MY FUCK

they don't actually like or play video games, they spread propaganda. death to journalists.

Where is this from?

Mind is too preoccupied thinking about nepotism, deception, and sexual favors.

i don't even know. You would think a group of people who supposedly spend most of their time playing games would be at least decent and them.

There is no reaction image or webm powerful enough to express my absolute disdain towards this player.

Not only is it real but he went on to die repeated on the first level, never getting past the first few steps.

THIS CANT BE REAL
NOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A quick reminder from a earlier thread about it

Just to make you think for a bit, You guys agree that videogame journalist are fuckign retard, who know fucking nothing about videogames, right?

What if every other kind journalist (political, science, economy, you name it) is also retarded but you don't instantly see it since you don,t know the subject much?

Literally

WHY? Why does it hurt to watch?

woooooow dude how the fuck was I supposed to know

The problem with this tutorial is that the developers are attempting to teach three mechanics in a single lesson.

>hold A to jump higher
>press Y to mid-air dash
>you can use the environment in order to go forward, sometimes paradoxically requiring you to go backwards first

There should have been 2 pillars of different elevations right next to each other that trained the player on how to use the high jump and reminded them that platforms can be used to get on top of other platforms before attempting to teach the air dash. Each individual lesson should teach as few mechanics as possible so that slower learners (like journalists) can isolate these mechanics and understand what's going on.

t. math tutor

This person has to be a woman

Because it's painful to watch. Just like an ape killing himself with a grenade.

Looks like some kind of early generation neural network trying to advance through the level.

EVEN THEN there is no fucking way in hell a person who plays vidya for a living should get stuck this long on this.
after the 7th or 8th time you would have thought they would have realized.

...

That's copy pasted from a thread.

Hard to believe but it's actually an asian guy.

Niggah, that's not real life, and you won't lose your job if you say that Leshawn here is retarded.
Don't excuse this 50 IQ trash.

Didn't he admit in the most round about way that he's never played a videogame in his life?

They're failed writers and video games media is the lowest of the low and the people who check their sites aren't actually reading their opinion pieces and reviews but just looking for a score.

just think that there are people this bad who are testers

im killing myself if this is real

its just like watching a younger sibling play

Most people are just bad at video games.
Maybe not this bad, granted, but it can be startling to watch anybody play when they haven't been playing since they were five.

Honestly?

It's because "video game journalism" today is 99.999% keeping up to date with your social media garbage and the remainder is actually playing games.
These people are more likely to take pics with vidya/geek merch so they can increase their social media profile than actually play what they're reviewing or, god forbid, play older games so they can be better at their job.

And that's on top of everyone these days having an attention span of a gnat and no patience with anything that doesn't have objective markers flashing wildly so you know EXACTLY what you need to do at any given moment.

Sometimes, apparently, even that is not enough.

>What if every other kind journalist (political, science, economy, you name it) is also retarded but you don't instantly see it since you don,t know the subject much?
>"anyone who isn't a Democrat is a Nazi"
>"the eclipse is racist"
>"socialism"
I'd fucking believe it, user.

>Someone get's paid for this

youtu.be/848Y1Uu5Htk

DSP tries it~

>neo-Sup Forums is just starting to realize that game journalists don't actually play video games and haven't for almost a decade now

People who write for science journals and the other topics you mentioned actually have degrees in the topic they write about though.

What infuriates me more than anything is that there must be hundreds, if not thousands, of more qualified individuals. These fucking people don't deserve the position they have. Actually, how in the fucking hell did they get to become "journalists" in the first place? Why isn't competency in a field a requirement anymore? Why in the holy fucking hell is the general mainstream public ok with this shit? Fuck man, I really just don't get it.

>game tells you how to air dash
>hmmmm I can't air dash over this pillar from the ground
>COULD THERE PERHAPS BE A PLACE NEARBY WHERE I COULD JUMP HIGHER?
This isn't rocket science. Journalists are just retards who can't use basic reasoning skills. It's a wonder how they managed to learn how to use a computer to post their stupid video game reviews.

>problem with the tutorial

Yes....yes, we need to dumb it down further. Less obstacles, more streamlined.
Maybe if he fails to progress the game takes over and autopilots it or there is a "skip" button.

Can't have people feel inadequate while playing these games, it hurts profits.

>*gets
Time for bed

I dunno I feel like this is different, more of what we call politically/science/economic journalists are really just general journalism grads without necessarily backgrounds in that field.

Video game journalists are at least in principal more specialized, which is why one of them acting like they've never played a video game before is so fucking offputting.

someone post the HL2 tester image

>they changed the title of the video after everyone started complaining... it was: "Cuphead demo at Gamescom: It isn't easy"

Same with people who review and sell cars. They know little to nothing about them with no real useful information. But this isn't new.

>Maybe if he fails to progress the game takes over and autopilots it or there is a "skip" button.
Nintendo already added such feature in one of the Galaxies

>Why isn't competency in a field a requirement anymore?

>tfw you now remember that one game that had a "cinematic mode" that let you skip all the gameplay and just watch the dialogue/cutscenes

the difference is that real journalists wouldn't claim to be judging their subject matter from a position of expertise
if me and my uneducated buddies get together and start a blog about what theoretical physicists are working on, we could potentially be a useful resource to the general public by reporting what the scientists have told us directly and giving some very basic background information on the subject matter that the general public might find relevant. neither the journalist nor the reader is expected to understand fully what's going on.
videogame journalism, at least in the context of reviewing games, differs in that we expect the reviewer to be knowledgeable about the game and to pass that information on to similarly-capable readers/viewers. being an expert doesn't demand a decade of study, just a few hours and determination. there are experts everywhere.
even basic economics is far more complex than videogame reviews

What fuck!?
I can't jump high enough!
I'm literally pressing the button as hard as possible.
This shitty game is bugged.
WOOOOW.

This is legit making me furious just watching it. How the fuck are these people's opinions taken as fact?

this makes me really want to become a gaming journalist because this is the competition
how do i get in

It's not just videogame man.

Every single kind of journalism is like that. I majored in chemistry and geology, and i can say that easily a half of science reporting is blatantly retarded. Either the journo extrapolates wildly, mixes cause and effect or simply overhype a discovery into a fuckign cure for cancer (or the other way around, Fukushima gonna kill us ANY DAY NOW kinda shit)

i'm pretty sure that people from other background could give examples for their specialties.
And yet, i have to force myself to not trust what's written in the paper instantly. Fuck this shit

what gaem? Metroid Other M?

This guys is worse than my gf who never played games until I forced her.
You know what it's prolly similar. He never played games until his job forced him.

Fuck off Nazi, just because someone bullshitted there way into a job they can't do well doesn't mean shit.

If you're white, make, straight, cisgendered, or any combination of the four you're already shit outta luck.

the game journo industry is a massive circle jerk these days, it's all just who you know and who you networked with beforehand, there are no real requirements beyond having a friend in the right place, all of these people have bachelors in writing or just general journalism, if anything

gaming is a fad right now, it's not that much of a stretch that the journo industry that covers it would be filled with faux nerd hipsters that don't actually play games

I could do the crouching long jump in HL1 at 11. How are these people so retarded.

Blame the advent of clickbait journalism.

The actual text of the review is full of empty buzzwords and stock phrases. It's all about a juicy clickbait headline that makes the reader navigate to the page and that's that.

Literally the only metric left.

It was a social experiment! He went in cold!

Hardly unreasonable. Took two glances for me to figure out what they were actually asking for.

I'm betting this is the pre-emptive damage control for when Cuphead gets mediocre reviews.

I know this is pasta, but he jumped at the piller almost twenty times before he latched on the idea of using the smaller block for height. Twenty times. And this isn't a mentally ill child we're talking about, this is an adult. It's an absolute failure of understanding when an idea just doesn't work.

>anyone who thinks society is slowly deteriorating and declining is a Nazi

wow, and you people still can't figure out why Trump won, really brines my cucumbers and activates my almonds

>t. math tutor

What you're describing is how to teach math to a remedial student. An in-game "tutorial" in this sense is a misnomer. It's not the equivalent of tutoring, it's the equivalent of the teacher giving a lesson: it should be geared towards an average player not a remedial player. And a game reviewer/journalist shouldn't be a remedial player.

>Took two glances
get out

because to write you need to go to arts school and those that did don't play many video games and will take any job they can get

i'm not talkin about peeer reviewed journals, those are a massively good ressources. What fucks with me are random bozos in the daily paper reading an article from nature (or more accurately, the first few paragraphs) then reporting. Reading anything related to nuclear energy in non scientific sources is physically painfull from all the blatent stupidity on display.

What if he was drunk and using only one hand?

I can see the headline already

"The Dark Souls of platformers"

To conservatives, society has been slowly deteriorating and declining for thousands of years.

...

Can I activate your cucumber, user?

Honestly, a tutorial should be as easy as possible in order to teach the player in the most effective way it can. After the basics are established then the game can get as crazy tough as the developers want.

Popsci is cringy garbage for Big Bang Theory fans, this is known.

>Giant DASH text and button in the air
>Text says you can dash in the air
>Normal jump is not high enough to pass, if only you had a bit more height

I'm sorry to say that you might be a bit dumb in the head, friend.

>being so stupid he think hs can categorize contemporary art.
>being so stupid he thinks he can decide good and bad art.
What a dick. I bet he never even studied aesthetics.

youtu.be/7FD-uwu847Q

Are you implying this tutorial is not easy?

Rez more or less has a game mode like that, yet Sup Forums sucks that game's dick.

Contemporary art is garbage that has everything to do about branding and nothing to do about actual aesthetics, you triple pleb.

this

this level of failure goes far beyond the context of video games, it is a sign of actual diagnosable mental retardation, just because it's a video game doesn't excuse the severe lack of basic problem solving, I can tell you with 100% certainty this guy's iq is less than 90

But is it known that the journalist reporting from some middle eastern shithole isn't talking out of his ass? After all, we do have plenty of agency whose job is to fucking lie.

Who can you trust?

Another thing later that annoyed me in the video was when he was talking to the NPC about something he ended up going through the dialoge like 4 or 5 times because he didn't read it at all, I really do not understand why companies allow people who don't care about video games to review them. These stupid journalists who can't do the basic of tasks should be fired but they wont because stupid fucking reasons.

It's easy, but as the other user said, it should be borderline brain dead so that anyone can learn it.

>think I'm bad at FPS
>see this guy who refuses to move and aim at the same time
wew

the hyperbole doesn't help your argument user, conservatism wasn't even a concept until the late 1700s

Literally not true read read Danto's after art. It's based on Hegels aesthetics and deceleration that we had reached the end of art. Not that you care about philosophy.

I wish I had never entered this thread.

Years of playing platformers has me automatically assuming that the part after the jump tutorial is the double jump tutorial. Though at least I was substantially quicker in figuring it out than whoever playing this was.

>But is it known that the journalist reporting from some middle eastern shithole isn't talking out of his ass

Primary sources and corroboration. Popsci is shit because it's some uneducated journalist reading a dumbed down summary of an actual paper and then extrapolating it with wild speculation.

Journalists who actually go to the middle east and report there aren't the equivalent of popsci, they're the peer-reviewed scientific papers that the actual equivalent of popsci (tv news networks) misrepresent.

They don't play vidya. They rush through the gameplay to get to the cutscenes so they can write about it. When's the last fucking time you've seen anybody, let alone journalists, actually discuss videogame mechanics with any sort of depth? They'll gush about aesthetics, the plot, the characters, the glitches, but never how the game functions in terms of button presses. The closest they'll get it how the combat "feels" to them, and that's it.

The journalists being retards doesn't excuse bad tutorial design. Tutorials are supposed to be for people who don't get it. Any good game has a manual that can be read, and any good player pushes all the buttons to figure out what they do without needing a tutorial to tell them.

Jesus Christ, is this the absolute state of gamers?

*its called "after the end of art" sorry it's been awhile since I read it.

This is like watching my 4-year old nephew play, except he gives zero shits about playing well. And it seriously pisses off his older brother when watching him.

Cold to what?
interactive media as a whole?
Has he never held a remote for a tv before?
Has he never held a ball and cup?
Has never held a spoon?
Does he have no hands?
Nothing explains how new to video games you have to be to be that fucking bad at a game.

Is that gameplay of a Sup Forums player

I'm pretty sure most gamers with functional motor skills would be able to get past it without even that much thought put into it.

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