HOW DO YOU FUCK UP A TUTORIAL

HOW DO YOU FUCK UP A TUTORIAL

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=cVKOCUm_Njo
youtube.com/watch?v=NF3dT9bDu_4
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

That was hilarious, no need to watch more than 5 minutes after that its just painful.

I had to watch it to the end. The tutorial part is a joke itself, but I still can't believe this retard wasn't even able to finish the very first level in almost half a hour.

O MY

How can someone be this bad at games?

Except this dude doesn't review games. Why is Sup Forums filled with so many liars?

good lord

...

game looks pretty shit desu

WHAT THE FUCK
PLEASE REMIND ME WHY PEOPLE ON THIS VERY WEBSITE USE SCORES AND REVIEWS MADE BY THESE "PEOPLE" AS SOME KIND OF VALUABLE INFORMATION OR UNDENIABLE FACT

But user, he's never played this game before. How can you expect him to know hot to play?

...

>playing video games

not quite as terrible (though close) but heres something in the same vein from pax

youtube.com/watch?v=cVKOCUm_Njo

>there are STILL people who believe game journalists aren't just there to divert the goyim for a price

is skyward sword bad? never played it
DS2 was critically overrated but underrated by the masses in my opinion:
critics- 9/10
masses- 6/10
me- 8/10 (im a souls fanboy tho so that's bias)
but yeah fuck gaming journalism as whole.

>masters and experts
JUMP THEN DASH
TIMING

Just started, but this isn't that bad. It's not great, but it's not embarassing.

>an entire paragraph to say "I suck at platformers"

Fuck this nerd

>is skyward sword bad? never played it
it is far from a 10/10, especially that many

It wasn't straight up bad but it was no where near as good as it was reviewed.

>interesting social experiment

Check mate, brainlets. Doctor Dave is on a completely different level.

Dark Souls 2 was better than 1.

eh ill go as far as to say it holds up better now. it was probably better than demons souls tho.

souls fanboys praise demon's and it's one of the worst ones.

>lack basic pattern recognition skills
>claim it's a social "experiments"
Why do people think pretending to be smarter than everyone else is a viable comeback when being called out on being a dumb?

>lol it's just a game bro
cute sidestep to the implications this has on his paid, professional career by acting like he's some recreational nobody
and that little dogwhistle at the end about tolerance and muh hatred and division was pretty adorable too

dispicable

>Sup Forums acts like they are cuphead gods when they haven't even played the game

>be unbelievably bad at something
>people assume you're retarded
>WOWWW WHAT A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT

Most people are bad at video games. If a game is unplayable unless you're an MLG pro, shouldn't it get a bad rating?

Think before you speak, Sup Forums. Not all game reviewers need to be hopeless nerds.

>let's allow people who fuck up basic tutorials to make judgements on the quality of a game
Good bait.

My mother could have picked that up faster.

because adclicks

this video will probably go viral like the doom one did, they made over $20k from that video.

>B-but it's a social experiment
>B-but it's not Mario
>B-but it's the dev fault
>B-but the game's difficult on purpose
>masters and experts
That's it.
I never trust reviews, but I think I will simply stop wasting my time on reading those.
Those guys aren't even able to run/jump/shoot properly. It's like thigs particular fellow never played a video-game before.

Fuck those casuals frauds.

He's a journalist though. Not a reviewer. Still pretty trash though

>harder than mario

i demand footage of him playing the original mario brothers.

It's a defense used by people that aren't used to having their intelligence challenged or overshadowed by others. Really common with those that work in the liberal arts like writing because everything they normally do is actually very easy, so they believe themselves to be extremely competent. When they lose or are demonstrated to be someone's intellectual/educational inferior, they can either humbly admit their inability or try to save face by saying "I'm competent and intelligent, so anyone that is better or smarter has something wrong with them". This is what he does by using the term "gamer" exclusively to refer to those criticizing him.

...

I'll give them that most of the time, these journos are smart enough to not show actual footage of their "skills", but when you see a video of somebody who clearly has never played a platformer in their life the shit these phonies spout truly becomes the laughing stock.

>clearly trying to head stomp enemies
>tries to kill every enemy not realizing that they spawn infinitely
>shit at running and gunning
>says that it's not like mario in
Did he actually think that this game was like mario? Was he actually that easily misled?

I'm speechless

>Le Durk Sous 2 is le bad le XD

You're the cancer nowadays, underage.

People so stupid, that cant see an obvious joke in front of them.

>implying DS2 deserved that many 9/10+ reviews
good goy

>"I-I WAS MERELY PRETENDING TO BE RETARDED"

Fuck off Dean

>be a brainwashed hive mind parrot
>calls others goy

Sasuga

DS2 might be the biggest launch disaster that in gaming. Trailers with amazing new lightning tech. Launch with downgraded lightning and textures.

>this damage control

I'm sure you are too smart to be fooled.

Honestly, I'd expect this game to play more like Contra than Mario, from the gameplay I've seen.

Can chromatic aberration be disabled?

This is a TAS right? That shell juggling was inhuman

This isn't realt right? Just a computer or neural net playing right?

Prolly a speedrun. The inputs don't look too tight or all that many to be TAS only

I swear watching these runs gives me a fucking heart attack, no way a human is doing this.

Is that actually a real level or just user created?

Why is death so realistic in Overwatch?

>These are the people reviewing your games
Whats wrong with that? it is not like you or we are the target audience for their reviews.

Are really being so shallow and selfish to the point that dumbasses being pandered and catered to upsets you simply because it is not you being pandered and catered to? Or are you just a whiny bitch? Cause outside of those 2 and thinking about shit pragmaticily shit just makes zero sense other then you seeking some sort of recreational anger to circle jerk about with others.

That massive paragraph is just him pissing in your face. I only watched until he figured out how to jump dash over the platform. What a fucking retard.

kys faggot, people like you are destroying this industry
DAILY REMINDER THAT THEY CHANGED THE TITLE OF THE VIDEO FROM "Cuphead demo at Gamescom: It isn't easy"
fucking faggots, how pathetic can you be and then they lecture you about womynz and negroes and fags and why you suck as a gamer

>Hey, Maybe if you're having so much trouble with a simple game, maybe you shouldn't be a game reviewer

>GO BACK TO THE KITCHEN. YOU'RE RUINING VIDEO GAMES. YOU'RE A HYPOCRITE BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T GOOD AT SUPER MARIO BROS THE FIRST EVER TIME

>which is ironic, considering that I am autistic
kek

>pressing A then Y is now the same as being a god

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

>underage
The only people who would think Dark Souls 2 is good are people who are underaged enough for it to be their first souls game.

>meat boy runs on his own
Fuck off, runner games are awful and should be relegated to the shitpile that is mobile gaming

That guy is shit tho

Kek nice one mate include me in the screenshot xD you roasted the hell out of that user sick burn bro

youtube.com/watch?v=NF3dT9bDu_4

More high-quality gaming journalism

Why is this retard playing with the stick? What a fucking retard. Between this guy and asian DSP, I'm losing my mind.

i feel like being unable to differ between truth and trolling anymore since everything is hiding behind 5 walls of irony but how can anybody with 3 braincells left not realize that the issue isnt if someone was that good when playing [x] for the first time but if someone was that BAD playing it the first time

>I can tell he is playing on a stick
>I can tell he was looking at his controller for the jump dash segment

GG was right. 100% right; these "games" journalists are nothing but liberal commies looking to get paid and shit their opinions on us.

...

>Deflects responsibility
>Blames others for their sucking
>Asks people to respect their feelings for sucking

Was this a woman playing the game, cause they sound like a woman.

Just because you talk about games and the culture that surrounds them doesn't mean you're playing them to review them on their merits.

Journalists that cover wars don't have to be actively fighting in them, just on the ground in the area to see the people that are firing the guns.

I beat Contra 2, Contra 3, and Contra 4. I'd be alright after 3 minutes of realizing that run and gun, while jumping over enemies was vital the best method. People were beating dark souls 2 bosses in the E3 demo they had up before release and they even stopped people from playing when they got too far in the demo.

If you suck, you suck, no excuses.

My 7 year old nephew plays platformers better than this, and his only experience is 2 hours of Rayman.

The guy can't stop fucking sperging for 1 second to stop moving and running head long into the enemy. I imagine he has his tongue touching his fucking nose in concentration and moving the controller left and right as hes playing. lmao what a fucking pleb. I beat contra on nes when I was 8 years old.

that was polygon, not venturebeat

Why the fuck do you think that'd be real?

>performing basic movements and not running into a wall now means your a god at games
Where do I sign up for esports with this new revelation?

>hey guys I reviewed the new sports car from Mercedes
>it was really difficult to drive, as someone who has never driven a car before
>Mercedes shouldn't claim it's fun to drive, people like me without a driver's license will be left behind
>I give it a 1/10

1:33 to get past a small obstacle
I gave up, that vid already gave me cancer

>average mario maker super expert level.webm

ext game
Contra
kek

Well for ages, Journalists would hire people to play their games for them and capture all the content. Then an editor would piece the footage together into a store. The writer would watch the game some of the time, but would mostly base their review on what the editor had pieced together. Writer would write, send that to the editor to edit, send that to the gamer to fact check, send back to the editor to edit, then back to the writer to finalize. Its a bit dishonest but it works. Most gamers were interns who made no money. Then everyone who used un-paid interns to generate revenue were sued so these companies had to pay their interns money.

However, with many gaming journalism outlets losing money, they can't afford to have an editor, and most are too cheap to even pay minimum wage to a guy to play the game for them. So they give a pay raise to these writers and say "hey you played all these games, and this software automates most your work, so have at it."

That tutorial looks absurdly difficult, I'm amazed they'd release a game in that state.

Reminds me of those AI learning platformers videos.

It's not chromatic aberration, that's an error in lens focus in photography distorting light unevenly.
Rather its imitating ancient color film techniques, where layers of color on the film would be slightly out of alignment

Well he has shit views so I doubt anyone even listens to what he has to say.

DSP finally got a real job reviewing games?

Journalist doesn't mean reviewer, you fucking idiot. This guy isn't a reviewer.

Dumbass

If you seriously think that was the worst launch of a video game, I question how long you've been gaming.

Can it be DISABLED you fucking cunt?

Chromatic aberration? There isn't any to disable.

He's a journalist who occasionally has to write about games. That doesn't mean he has to be good at them. He doesn't need to be good at Cuphead to write a short article explaining that it's being shown at Gamescom and that it's got a unique art style that mimics cartoons from the 1930s and 1940s, and that it's coming out on X date on Xbone and PC.

you just literally described chromatic aberration you mong

>Dean Takahashi is a writer for VentureBeat. Prior to his currrent job, he was the Tech Talk Columnist at the San Jose Mercury News, where he wrote gadget reviews and opinion pieces on technology in Silicon Valley.
>He has been a journalist for 20 years, most of it covering technology business news. Before he joined the Mercury News in 2002, he was a senior writer at the Red Herring magazine from 2000 to 2002. Before that, he was a staff writer in the San Francisco office of the Wall Street Journal from 1996 to 2000. His first job at the Mercury News was as a chip industry reporter from 1994 to 1996.

What the hell is this old gadget geek doing reporting on videogames?
Does their other gaming staff include a phonograph repairman and a milk truck collecting hobbyist?

because you are retarded
what user was saying is that the game is imitating 1920's cartoons and the only way to do that correctly is to imitate the ancient photo techniques too, so if you turned it off, it wont look like a 1920's cartoon

So most likely, you can't turn it off

Retard.
Dye on film is not an out of focus lens.