Kirby absorbs you

What power does she get?

Nihilism

the power to destroy relationships with loved ones despite him trying his hardest to be a good person.

Cancer

>she

Depression

a rampant addiction for fat fetishism

depression

>she

>she

Social anxiety

A seven and a half inch penis and too autistic to use it.

Type one diabetes

The power to get shit done when I put my mind to it.

This is balanced out by having a huge procrastination problem

>she

Failing at everything it does

>she
now has crippling alcoholism and a nice warehouse job that leaves >her
in pain and sick every day with barely enough money to pay rent and buy the bottle of vodka needed every day to keep the shakes off

>she

The ability to convince employers that you're proficient in inventory software.

impotence

DIGITS

He learns Japanese and can use it to translate lewd shit.

Aspergers and an addiction to Bestgore.com

Raging Alcoholism and the burden of student debt.

>she
becomes a flight instructor irritated by the severe inability of foreign students to learn basic fundamentals of flight.