You guys are a bunch of assholes...

You guys are a bunch of assholes. So a single videogame journalist take a few seconds longer to figure out a non-intuitive tutorial and that gives you the right to start a brigade against all videogame journalists claiming they don't actually know how to play vidya and are just in it for the money? Get a life losers

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=OOjXaAZHEQE
venturebeat.com/author/dean-takahashi/
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

fuck this thread
are there any obscure porn games you guys would recommend

Dean, when people are shown to be incapable of performing their job, they are usually fired. You are incapable of performing your job, but you will continue doing it.

>26 minutes

most video game journalists today can't play video games
just like they can't write good articles about video games

>Dean apologists

8ch has a hentai games board which is good for finding this stuff.

I recommend Eratohok (simple strategy game with the best sex-system I've seen) and Lilith's throne (Unfinished CoC-like). Both are text-based. Free Cities is definitely worth checking out but it aint obscure.

I'm thinking of becoming a Video Game journalist. Seems like easy money. Where should I start?

stop derailing the thread queers, this is serious. you are threatening people's livelihoods

>Be bad at video games while reviewing video games
>Get surprised when you're made fun of

relevant to my interests

especially if I can work remotely

>Where should I start?
On the operation table. You either gotta get a sex change operation or a hook nose implant to look like a Jew.

and you're threatening my dick you bigot

>20 GB tutorial

Lads how the hell do I get this dude in pic related to let me pass?

If you're terrible at your job, maybe you should consider if you're worth the paycheck or not.

>Non intuitive
>Not being able to put 2 and 2 together is the game's fault
>Forgetting the rest of the 26 minute long video where he couldn't even beat the first stage of the game
Dean's such a fucking idiot Bioware dumbed shit down for him in their future titles, I just want to remind you of that. He's completely inept and yet he's payed to tell other people the quality of a game. The issue with that is that ultimately it means a game like Cuphead can get worse reviews than it deserves for being "The Dark Souls of 2D Platformers" or some self-serving garbage phrase like that they can use to make themselves feel better about their complete inability to clear even the simplest parts of a game

>gets paid to play video games and call every game "dark souls of genre"

Unlearn everything you know about video games then try to kiss the ass of important people in the field until they hire you (it's called networking).

Bait thread

HYPNOS FUCK-ヒュプノスファック

>and are just in it for the money?
I think you'll find people with real jobs are usually in it for the money.
Game journalist isn't a real job though, it's basically receiving welfare.

One of the best Gmod videos I've ever seen. Dude's a genius.

youtube.com/watch?v=OOjXaAZHEQE

for real though, I question that man's basic motor skills. I could give the controller to my mom and she would finish that part faster.

i feel like no one has actually looked at the guys article history and just assumes he reviews games for a living. He has done a few reviews, but very few in comparison to his general tech articles, most of which dont even involve the gaming sector of the tech industry
venturebeat.com/author/dean-takahashi/

This is gold.

>non-intuitive tutorial
The jump-dash has been used since the days of the NES OP. Jump is introduced right before dash, with a tall object you cannot simply jump over. That's not just an intuitive mechanical interaction, it's something that has been used for 30+ years. The moron who couldn't figure that out deserves all the ridicule they can get, as they're supposed to play video games for a living.
Oh, but I forgot. Modern gaming """""journalists""""" are actually just cheap bloggers and vloggers who've never taken a single journalism course or worked on a single school/university newspaper in their fucking lives.

people who suck at their job shouldn't have that job.

God Damn this attitude is getting annoying.

People DESERVE to get shit on when they fuck up. Not being able to read a clear tutorial intent is fucking up, especially when it's your job. If an older person who's never played a game had been given a controller and asked to complete the tutorial, I'd be much more understanding. But this was like watching a professional driver not know how to start a car.

You don't get someone without a tongue to review food. Such a review is useless to other people.
Same exact reason you don't get someone who can't play video games to review them. Such reviews are completely pointless.

yeah except that one time when he reviewed Mass Effect and shat on it for being "too hard" and unbalanced

(he never spent his skillpoints, I shit you not)

...

#BLM

Then why was he reviewing cuphead? Maybe that's the real question.

It's ok to suck a games, and cuphead is being billed as a fuck off hard game. So why did a tech reviewer, casual gamer do a preview video for it?

You know realize game journalist aren't intelligent enough to make clickbait articles to attract people.

They're actually that dumb and think everything is something's dark souls.

LMAO

It's less that it took a few seconds, and more that he was so ridiculously retarded that it took someone else telling him what to do to figure out the tutorial. I'd pay money to see him play PDA games from alien hominid.

>be welder
>weld structural steel
>building collaspe
>Y'all need to stop fetishizing skill

>posting on fagchan

He took an extra 20+ minutes trying to beat the games very first level, and still did not beat it.

You left that part out, OP, thought'd be a good friend and correct that for you

ok, but from that perspective why is the "gaming journalists dont deserve their jobs" sentiment being taken so seriously? It would seem to me that people are getting mad about a lot more than someone being assigned a task that would have been suited to someone else. If that were the case.

dont get me wrong, the guy is trash at platformers, but this narrative that this guy is a big game reviewer and thats what he does day in and day out is just factually false.

>get a better job
>get better at your job

Pick one.

>Be Train Conductor
>Speed train up.
>Train derails on sharp curve.
>"This was a social experiment to see how trainspotters would react, calm down you stupid foamers."

Welding should be easier. You alt right Trump voter.

>few seconds longer

>few seconds
>over 26 minutes

>(he never spent his skillpoints, I shit you not)
Holy shit, that's next level incompetence

Starless - Nymphomaniacs Paradise

because it was never intended to be a review, it was an sneak-peak at a convention in germany and as press he was allowed to play a small demo

>have no ability at video games
>probably no real passion either since ability just comes from playing them
>choose video games as a vocation and control what direction they take
This fucking hobby

There is no doubt in my mind that this whole thing is a marketing ploy.

Play Monster Girl Quest

sweet merciful christ, I had no idea what a confusing fucking mess that site is. How the fuck do I find this fabled hentai games board?

you are correct, thats fucking retarded. With that in mind its a good thing that reviewing games is something the man hardly ever does and likely only when his company assigns him and he cant get out of it

in his defense, he did apologize and change the review

he does seem to have some genuine cognitive shortcomings though

He presented the article as if he was some sort of authority on games, he was proven to be a fraud in that aspect. Knowing now that he's a fraud, and is willing to lie, deflect, and attack others for criticism tells me I should be suspicious of anything else he's written that no one happened to take interest in.

And I jsut did a cursory look at what he writes about. It's mostly gaming technology and games in general. So yeah, he deserves the flack he's getting. He's basically shown he's not capable of playing the games, so why should I care or believe anything else he's written in relation to video games? He's a known liar, fraud, and crybaby. He needs to find a job somewhere else. Venture Beat needs to ax this guy because he's going to poison the well by association.

To be fair if somebody couldn't figure that shit out for over a minute I'd question their general intelligence and problem solving, not just video games skill. There's an amazing number of people who are though of as "smart" where in reality they're just experienced in something and are completely fish out of water when presented with having to operate with an unknown. We call that reflexes and a monkey can do that.

Maybe you should just head over to /vg/ and check /hgg/ instead of browsing 8ch like a faggot

corruption of champions isn't really obscure, but if you've got a good imagination and youre a deviant fuck, it might be your thing

he's right though you fucking mongoloid, its hentai board can be handy if you want to find shit like this, especially since all /vg/ has is /hgg/ - maid general and /hgg2d/ - cuckold general
you don't have to post there

Because gaming journalists have been complete shit for the last decade. They're overpaid idiots who think their opinions matter when they can barely figure out something more challenging than Peggle, and yet their reviews compel the unwashed masses to buy or reject certain games.

And that wouldn't be a huge problem on its own (except for the brainless cargo cult following some of these people get), but the fact that they are easily bribed by developers and publishers. Corruption is so rampant in the video game review sphere that it is IMPOSSIBLE to trust a review. 9,9 out of 10 times, the review has been bought with free con tickets, swag bags, free review versions or just a wad of cash.

This wouldn't be acceptable in any other medium, food critics that take bribes would be fired from the papers they write for, same with car reviewers or even general tech reviewers. But since video games are "subjective", one guy being paid to say it's 10/10IGN apparently isn't considered a problem, and the excuse is that "that was how he felt about the game regardless of the bribery".

Some devs have even slept with reviewers to get positive exposure for free. And this attitude is what has soured so many hundreds of thousands to the self-righteous little shits who want to dictate what you should and shouldn't play. And especially now when they are using reviews to virtue signal and push their own political agendas, people have little to no patience for it any more. A lack of integrity is the biggest problem. A lack of quality control is the second-biggest problem.

After coming up with 2 lies that nobody bought.
>muh social experiment
>muh it's just a joke bro

Makes you think if this guy can follow instructions on a microwave meal

Why is he getting paid to go to Germany?

Honestly, it's really easy, but harder to find places that will actually pay you a decent amount. First, you need a simple website with a few writing samples. Just write up some simple 200-500 word news article about some new game. Write up a longer article 1000-2000 words reviewing a game. Write up a slideshow like "The Dark Souls of RPGs" with 5-10 entries.
Do a google search for Gaming websites that pay. Easy. I am pretty stupid but I make $500/month for writing maybe 6 hours a week, get free games all the time, free press passes, etc.

>You guys are a bunch of assholes.
I know. We're not trying to hide it.

Or you could get a real job and not be such a colossal faggot.

I think it's time for everyone to accept that reviews are simply just a dying breed. Who still reads those? If I wanted to know about a game I intend to buy I'd just watch the first few videos of a let's play which would give me much more insight on what the game is about.

>"So what do you do for a living?"
>"I'm a professional video game reviewer."
>"Oh, I see... My sister's husband is on welfare, too."

Stop making this thread you fucking faggot

I do have a real job, I just write on the side for extra money
>not be such a colossal faggot
never

>And I jsut did a cursory look at what he writes about. It's mostly gaming technology and games in general. So yeah, he deserves the flack he's getting. He's basically shown he's not capable of playing the games, so why should I care or believe anything else he's written in relation to video games?

ok, lets dig into that a little bit with some examples. Here are some of his article titles just from the first page of the stuff hes written
>Avitas and Nvidia use AI drones and robots to improve inspections
>Taunt raises $1.75 million for esports fan competition platform
>Kids digital ad market expected to hit $1.2 billion by 2019
>Turtle Beach Stealth 700 headset can turn on your Xbox One
>Sweden’s game revenue hit $1.54 billion in 2016
>American McGee tests the waters for third Alice game
>GamesBeat Boss interview: China’s Leyou moves from chicken meat to triple-A game publishing
>Twitch’s new Extensions add customization options for streamers, like games and music
so tell me, which of those is invalidated by being shit at plaformers?

Anyone that has the link to this shitty review?

monster girl gamu is very high on my list desu

All of them. Why should anyone buy any of the shit in a single one of those articles when he's proven he's willing to lie for clicks?

There is no review, there's just a 30 minute video of him being bad at cuphead.
The guy isn't even a game reviewer from what I can tell from this thread.

>real jobs
>not for colossal faggots

The only problem with this guy is that he refuses to acknowledge that he's bad at games. It doesn't really matter how good you are at games so long as you're good enough to play it all and grasp the mechanics AND are aware of your skill level so you can judge it accordingly. In fact, it could be useful to have someone who can say "if you're an idiot like me you'll have a hard time with this game". The problems start when you have someone who vastly under- or over-estimates their ability, because then their judgement is screwed

True. I just follow the game on Twitter and see if i like it. Even Sup Forums gives more information about a game than some faggit. Last review i saw was some faggit in skinny jeans telling people that Fast RMX was too hard.

Evidently he should stick to writing about shit that nobody cares about. That'll keep him out of trouble.

Then disregard. Be as much of a colossal faggot as you want!

there are certainly major issues in the game reviewing sphere, but you make it sound like the individuals writing the articles are the ones going out and seeking bribes and shady shit. Doesnt it make a lot more sense that its the platforms they work for that engage in the majority of the shady shit? I mean, this dean guy doesnt see a single extra cent of all the money EA puts into ads on the site he works for, but the owners certainly do. What you are implying is similar to syaing "walmart is corrupt as fuck so im going to go scream at the local walmart manager for being so awful"

>But since video games are "subjective"
this is exceedingly minor, but literally everything that needs reviewing is subjective. If objective measures could successfully tell a person what they need to know about something it wouldnt need reviewing

Trials in Tainted Space for all it's furshit and Fenoxo's jewry can be quite fun, just get the latest version from cripplechan's /f/

>professional food critic
>professional film critic
>profession novel critic
Yet tryhards on Sup Forums see a problem with
>Professional video game critic
Really makes you think...

>skeleton
>has breasts

DUDE LMAO a pigeon overcoming an obstacle driven by his most primitive and desired instict (food -> surviving) faster than a journalist can overcome a non intuitive obstacle in a fucking video game!!!!!!!!!!!

let me clarify that shit for (you), sperging faggot
>this journalist proclaimed to have played vidya over 20 years on twitter
>told the game is shit because tutorial too hard
>even though there was a clear indication on how to pass the obstacle
>proceeded to compare it to mario and then called it another "dark souls" of platformers (literally an indication that he's a fucking casul)
>the game itself is only shoot and platforming: like any other metroidvania
>gave up in the middle of the first stage
>still denying the fact that he sucks at video game and all that 20 years of gaming is bullshit
you're a fucking idiot and (you) should get a fucking brain
now go back spasing out your sorry ass in another thread, shitty underaged bastard, next time you want to talk about something, be smart and search for some context before starting your shitty queer drama.

wouldnt lieing have been putting up a review with no video? The video gives context and has allowed us to see that hes trash at the game and maybe all his talk of the difficulty is overblown. Thats the opposite of what you accuse

this one

JUMP ON CUBE
JUMP HIGH TO THE RIGHT
PRESS Y AT THE PEAK OF YOUR JUMP
YOU'RE WINNER

>Where should I start?
First start by complaining about trump 24/7 on twitter

I love MGQ with all my heart but how is it obscure?

do not recommend trashy game

Lol he is a game journalist and you bitter losers are not so clearly he is doing something better than you NEETs

Lately I've been playing "Kaiki! Drill Otoko no Kyoufu". Pretty funny take on a survival horror H-game.
Also "The Maiden Rape Assault: Violent Semen Inferno" for the fucking title alone.

I want to be a car reviewer, but i don't have a driving license.

Think for a second you dunce.

>This car is bad because it goes from 0mph to 100mph slower than competing brands, at a higher price.
>This game is bad because it's too hard/isn't diverse enough/the story isn't compelling to me.

See the difference? If video game reviewers want to be trusted, they should stick to being objective. Rate games only on their performance, the quality of the sound, the colors and all the other things which are not subjective. Things that matter. Then keep their own thoughts on whether or not the game is "good" as a byline, rather than being easily bought hypemen who say shit like, "This game is bad because it has too many white males" and similar shit which we've grown far too accustomed to seeing in mainstream reviewing.

i see you browse here too, fake shill-user!

>journalist
That word again.

>I don't like carrots so I can claim they aren't a vegetable

Lol